genesis-the-beginning-anew

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Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria more like Really Stupid Dysphoria because it sucks and I hate it

It keeps telling me everyone hates me and the worst stuffs gonna happen because everyone secretly doesn't like and/or hates me I'm just tryna live my life man stop being an ass- I just wanna live I thought it was just normal anxiety you're telling me they tag teaming my ass?????

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breakfast

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Why does he have to like me because of my special interest?

I hate being autistic right now

I want to know what’s going on

What exactly I did wrong

Is it really being too much? Am I overthinking? Is it just something else entirely…?

How to fix this

I want to be together again already if I can’t distract myself till I can calm more talking with you

Despite how socially inept I am couldn’t I just be better

I want to be better for him, together or not

And I still hope to be his

If not I��ll take that…

But I wish I knew

I just wish I knew

It’s so scary to not know

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hedgehoms

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sonadow promise rings my mother in law made for us

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I feel like I’m a bad luck charm. But somehow still bring happiness. How the fuck do I reconcile this?!?!

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i gotta remember this

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I can’t leave it like this.

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I hate myself right now

Why did I say that

I thought it was a good idea

I’m so fucking stupid

I don’t want to exist right now

He’ll be back but fuck I’m so trash

Why did I think it would be a good idea

I knew I’d hurt him

I just thought it’d be physically

Say he’ll be back but after that I’m not suprised

Left out the “I love you too”- are we over?

Is this over?

What do I do with myself?

I’m too much

I’ve always been too much

I’m such a fucking stupid bastard

I’m only good for hurting people

My heart hurts, I can’t take it

Get me out or I’m going to loose it more somehow

I’m just cursed at the end of the day

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The urge to make a “I miss my wife” type joke tends to be pretty strong sometimes. Wonder how he’d take that. Also can tabs stop auto opening in our computer that would be very nice thanks. Also also can I get like 2 more sets of arms and eyes or smth I wanna draw and play smth to pass the time at the same time

Wish I could pass the time easier but don’t know what to do that’d be very easy to focus on, don’t feel like watching YouTube and scrolling right now is making me sick. Man… I hope he’s available soon, I love whatever time we can get

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Man tearing myself away from him is hard

Especially after plans being so all over

But if I want to recover sooner from this head weird and nasty eye irritation we got this morning-

The sooner the better

Otherwise I just might never leave ❤️

I wish I could have fallen asleep to you, but it’s occupied by someone other than us in here again

Not much I can do but

To make it up for you I’m gonna try and get the best rest I can okay? Just you wait and see

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You know what I hate…?

Waiting

You know what I hate more…?

Uncertiainty

I also hate

Dissapointing people

Put them together?

Bam

Emotional exhaustion

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I think the worst part of being in a system sometimes is witnessing someone struggle and feeling powerless. They wanted them. I can’t say too much because it feels like just because I share a body I’m suddenly a fully biased party

Yeah we share a body and yeah we’re good friends- but that’s why I’ll give out info only he’s “supposed to” know. I want to see him happy and things work out. And damn is that guy so stubborn sometimes

…

It sounded like he was screaming earlier.

It was kinda scary to watch

Just cursing the world and the circumstances that lead to that point

I forget what else he said but just- “I refuse” over and over. I wish I could have helped so bad. He was worried when he left but figured if he could help, he’d be better help later

I know he’ll be back but the contrast between the loud emotional resistance and the now ever so present silence is jarring

There’s 2-3 others here. They’re just silent for the same reason as I am

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Sending this to my fictive friend like- immediately. Stole my alt-future drip like the ass she is /aff

FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOLLY FOL

Floor 164: triple threat

FOLLY!!!