crypticmoon07

[crypticmoon07]

I’m not gay!😅 that’s a— that’s a…that’s…..

[crypticmoon07]

Eddie graduates, finds himself a shitty job that he keeps getting promoted at, and now he’s the manager.

That’s how he found himself wearing a tie, sitting across Goddamn Dave, the district manager, being told that he has to hire one of his friend’s kids, “And the kid’s friend, they’re a pair apparently.”

Which…what is this? Chain store nepotism? It’s bullshit.

“The kid’s not all there, head injury,” Goddamn Dave tells him. “Go easy on him.”

Then it turns out the kid isn’t even a teenager looking for a summer job. It’s twenty-something Steve Harrington from high school??? With a dog. And a lesbian.

“Service dog,” Steve says when he sees Eddie looking at it. “A dog with a job.”

“More of a hobby,” his friend - Robin, Eddie recognizes her - says. “He doesn’t get paid. His name is Steve.”

“His name is NOT Steve,” Steve - human - scoffed. “His birth name was Steve. He changed it.”

“They’re twins.”

Eddie does not roll his eyes into oblivion because he’s a goddamn professional. He just rolls them to the back of his head where Gene Simmons reminds him that if he wants to rock and roll all night, he needs to be employed.

He informs them of their shift schedules and barely gets through Steve’s when Robin says, “We have to work the same shifts. It was on our resume.”

Steve adds, “Also, we need to leave early today.”

Eddie thinks, goddamn Dave.

[crypticmoon07]

I love Steddie so much. It’s a delicious twist on the classic “He was a punk (Eddie), she did ballet (Steve)” trope—except their personalities flip the script. It’s Steve who’s swinging the bat, who’s actually acting so metal, while Eddie overthinks everything to death.

That’s exactly why I’m convinced Steve would end up initiating every major step between them, probably without even realizing it. Eddie’s too busy analyzing every heartbeat.

But God—my chest tightens and my throat closes up every time. It hurts to imagine these boys in the actual 1980s. A world of conversion therapy, the HIV crisis, closeted lives, and small-town America. It’s like—“yeah, the ‘80s were iconic, but holy shit, I’m so sorry.”

Like seriously, the homophobic assholes are scarier than any monsters from the Upside Down.

A warning like “AU with no Upside Down”, “Omegaverse”, or “Soulmates” feels way more believable than “AU with no homophobia in the 80s.”

I just want to give them six kids or no one kids, it doesn’t matter, but choice.

[crypticmoon07]

secret admirer

859 words

Steve watches a lot of people. He sees girls as their eyes linger on him. He sees some boys do the same. 

If Tommy caught them, he’d probably do what he always does; humiliate them, hit them. He’s always been a bit protective of him. Steve doesn’t know why. He’s known Tommy since middle school because their lockers were next to each other since they were assigned alphabetically. It’s been like that every year since then, too. 

Sometimes he wonders what his best friend would do if he stopped averting his gaze from places it shouldn’t be yet always strays to. 

More and more lately he finds himself watching someone in particular. 

Steve has to be careful. He can’t let his gaze linger and he has to make sure his face stays neutral, almost as if he’s looking through him and not at him. He forces himself to laugh when someone cracks a joke about The Freak as if Steve isn’t one himself. 

He knows he’s a hypocrite - a coward. He wishes he could be more like Eddie. Just be himself and not care about judgment or criticism. 

It’s his biggest dream and greatest fear. 

Steve’s seat in the cafeteria conveniently (strategically) puts Eddie directly in his line of sight. Aside from the singular elective they share, it’s the only time Steve gets to see him. He’s only been watching him since school came back after winter break and he’s captivated. 

He wishes he had somewhere to expel all of the thoughts he hoards in his brain like a dragon does gold. (Something Steve only knows because he - like a stalker - saw a book Eddie was carrying around for a week or so and checked it out of the library himself as soon as it was available. On the log card inside the cover, E. Munson was written a few times along with some other names.)

He gets an idea on Valentine's Day when he opens his locker after last period and a couple of pieces of paper fall to his feet. Steve watches as Tommy picks one up and coos, “Someone’s got an admirer.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve rolls his eyes and snatches the paper. He doesn’t necessarily care what these girls have written to him, but he feels weird letting anyone else see something that was intended for his eyes only. 

Tommy only snickers and pats him on the shoulder a few times in approval. Steve puts the valentines in his backpack to look at when he gets home. He zones out as Tommy starts talking again - something about taking Carol Perkins to Benny’s. 

At home, Steve reads the cards with a furrowed brow. He doesn’t want to be ungrateful given these girls are putting themselves out there and making a move on someone they like. It’s just. 

He feels completely detached from it all. None of the messages are personal. They could have been given to anyone.

He - somewhat guiltily - throws them away. 

The next day, Steve excuses himself during morning practice and slips a piece of paper into a beat-up locker.

Eddie you’re really pretty i wish i could tell you to your face -H

He signed the note with his last initial to be a bit more inconspicuous and perhaps give him some plausible deniability lest he be found out. He’s sure he’s being too precautious - paranoid? - but it gives him peace of mind nonetheless. He couldn’t imagine the dreadful things that would happen if someone traced this back to him. He’d have to run away. 

He’d have to kill himself. 

As much as he wants to, Steve doesn’t hang around Eddie’s locker to see his reaction. Though he does think about it all morning. They don’t have class together until later in the day. When the lunch bell rings, Steve has to force himself to make his way through the halls at an acceptable pace and pats himself on the back when the cafeteria is mostly full when he strides in.

He takes his place at the table where all of the more athletically inclined people tend to congregate and takes a deep breath.

When he chances a look, Eddie is already at the head of his table. He seems quieter than normal. Steve’s always been good at reading people and he can tell the difference between a good quiet and a bad quiet. Eddie’s quiet in a bad way. 

He languidly flips through a book with a faraway contemplative look. 

Steve looks away with a ghost of a frown on his face. 

He tries again the next day. 

Eddie i like your hair is it as soft as it looks? p.s. you didn’t look happy yesterday, sorry if it was my fault -H

That day at lunch, Steve doesn’t look at Eddie as frequently as he usually would, which is unfortunate. 

Eddie has taken to scanning the lunchroom with narrowed eyes. His arms are crossed over his chest and despite him being affronted, Steve can’t help but think he’s kinda cute. 

He smiles to himself and tries to listen to his friends for once to aid in avoiding Eddie’s gaze.

two

[crypticmoon07]

Billy’s got Steve all pressed up against the Beemer when he says it.

“This is the last time, Hargrove,” he pants, putting his hand on Billy’s chest. “Last time.”

Billy thinks for a moment it sounds serious. Because Steve’s looking at him like it is, and because he hasn’t said that in a while. But he used to say it all the time – every time, in fact. Liar. Billy may be an asshole but Steve’s a huge fucking liar.

So he sort of huffs a laugh and presses back in against Steve’s hand and drawls “whatever you say, Harrington” because Steve’s a liar.

Steve indulges him in another kiss before he tries to speak again. “I’m serious,” he groans when Billy starts working down his throat.

“Sure you are, pretty boy. Just like all the other times,” Billy replies, a bit too focused on working open Steve’s shirt to come up with something meaner.

“I,” Steve starts, then gives a little breathless moan when Billy grinds their hips together. He tries again. “I found someone.”

That makes Billy pause, though only for a moment. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Steve’s fingers are working on Billy’s belt. “Someone I think I wanna be serious about.”

Billy’s glad his face is buried in Steve’s neck so Steve can’t see him wince. Because yeah, Billy’s not the type of person Steve wants to be serious with. And he knows that. But it still kind of stings, every time.

Still. He presses Steve back firmer into the Beemer and tugs his shirt out from where it’s tucked into his jeans. Steve’s done this a few times, gone and gotten serious with some girl. He always comes crawling back.

“Well, when you get bored of this chick – ”

Steve gets Billy’s belt open with a little groan. “Not a chick.”

Billy stops.

This is new.

“What?”

“Not a…” Steve huffs. Tugs impatiently at the waist of Billy’s jeans. “It’s a guy.”

And holy shit, Steve’s serious.

He means it.

This is the last time.

Billy takes a whole step back, eyes kind of wide, staring at Steve. Steve whines, because he’s used to getting what he wants, spoiled rich boy that he is. For once, Billy’s not sure he wants to give it to him.

“You’re serious,” Billy says, and his voice sounds kind of hollow.

Steve blinks at him like he’s confused, all soft doe eyes. “So?” he pouts, because Billy’s never reacted like this before.

But Steve’s never done this before. Never tried to get serious with a guy. Which means it’s not about being queer. It’s not that Steve only wants to be serious with a girl, with someone he can marry, someone he can show off.

The problem isn’t with guys.

It’s with Billy.

Shame and embarrassment and anger curl ugly in Billy’s chest. He’s sliding his belt back into place before he really registers what he’s doing.

Steve’s frown deepens, really pouting now. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m going home,” Billy replies gruffly.

“What? Why?”

Billy shakes his head, and turns to leave.

“Billy,” Steve calls, and he sounds genuinely confused. “Billy, stop.”

But Billy doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to look at Steve right now. Because Billy is the problem. And if he’s gonna fucking cry, it’s gonna be far, far away from Steve Harrington.

Steve’s getting frustrated, because he snaps after him, “You’re wasting your last chance!”

“Goodbye, Steve,” Billy replies, a bit mean, a bit flat, and doesn’t look back.

[crypticmoon07]

omg hellcheer hiiii

[crypticmoon07]

Bear Steve Harrington with nipple rings and a very hairy chest. Mid-fifties Bear Steve Harrington. Grey in his hair, oval-framed glasses, a giggly laugh that's raspy around the edges from smoking. You can see his chest hair peeking over stretched t-shirt collars and between the gaps of button-downs.

Bear Steve Harrington who can throw Eddie around like a ragdoll and make him just completely puddle into a mess of Munson goop from being manhandled. Bear Steve Harrington who fucks Eddie nice and slow, very attentive to every little thing that makes him breathless, who straddles and rides Eddie deep into their mattress—very weary of Eddie's aching joints, careful with him in every little detail.

His big fucking paws holding Eddie's face, kissing him within an inch of his life. He tastes like menthol cigarettes, sugary chewing gum, and potent passion. He smells of freshly crackling firewood, soft linen, and sweat. Steve gets really into taking care of his car(s) so there's perpetually a spot of grease on his face, which Eddie always tenderly wipes off when they meet up again.

Bear Steve taking up space with pride and joy. He keeps his head high, always steady, still the tiniest bit cocky. Loves to go on hikes with Eddie, take him up for scenic routes and picnic dates where they feed each other grapes from one another's palms, laying in bright sunlight and unbroken peace—Eddie finding rocks that match the layers of color in Steve's eyes, Steve basking in the gaze and the focus that Eddie brings him; in turn Steve loves to sit and bird watch and Eddie helps him with sketching down every last little thing, listening intently as Steve mutters facts.

A gold band sitting comfortable in the soft flesh of Steve's ring finger. One that he just sits and stares at when lost in memory. Smiling to himself. Proud of the life he's built and shared. Just so in love with being alive.

The peace body with the peace of a safe life. Finding ground with each other, holding the other, taking care of one another in sex and daily routine.

This got away from me. But you get what I'm saying, right?

[crypticmoon07]

“I’m tired of this,” Steve said, his eyes a little bit glazed over. He had taken a single drag of the join in Eddie’s hand so he couldn’t be that high. But the feeling of warmth was probably jetting through his body. “Of feeling like this.” 

Eddie, sitting next to him on the grass by the quarry, turned to look at Steve. The joint in his hand puffed in the air. “Feeling like what, Steve?” 

“Tired. Feeling tired and achy,” Steve said, reaching for the joint and inhaling deeply. The smoke exhaled his mouth in swirling tendrils, Eddie found it to be the hottest thing he’d ever seen. Every time he saw it was hotter than the last. “And just… done. I want to wake up rested.”

“It’s been so long since I woke up rested,” Eddie mumbled, his eyes moving from Steve’s silhouette to the horizon line. The trees were dark and the stars in the sky were sparkling in a way that Eddie was sure wasn’t real and was more a reflection of what Eddie wanted to see than reality. 

Steve nodded. “I want to sleep well and I want to wake up feeling invigorated. Is that something I’ll never get again?” 

Shrugging, Eddie took the joint offered by Steve. His hand shook for a second, simply from the tension Eddie was carrying in his hands. They just did that sometimes. 

“Dunno.” 

Eddie really didn’t. Who in the world would know the answer to that? It was something so unknowable about yourself that it was impossible to try and figure out someone else's. He wondered, for a second, his eyes on Steve’s profile, if maybe he could fix it for Steve. If he could figure out what was wrong about sleeping and fix it. 

“What sucks about sleeping?” 

“What?” Steve asked, turning to look Eddie in the eyes for a quick second before looking away just as Eddie’s skin started to crawl from the attention. 

“Like, what makes sleeping not right for you?” 

“Sleeping is right, it’s nice. It’s the only time everything is quiet and I get to be nowhere. I don't really know what’s wrong that makes me tired all the time,” Steve said, responding with a bit of a sigh. He looked back out over the quarry and Eddie followed his line of sight. 

It was just dark trees and the soft orange of the sky in the direction of the town. It wasn’t real light pollution, not like Indianapolis’ yellow in the sky. But it was the small-town equivalent. “So you don't know.” 

“Nope.” Steve exhaled roughly. Eddie watched as Steve just, gave up on holding his body up and flopped down on the blanket they sat on. His hair framed his face like a halo, beautiful and heavenly. Eddie’s brain always thought Steve was angelic when it was high, probably because Steve was, angelic. “How could I, I’m asleep when it’s happening.” 

“What if you slept next to someone who could tell you?” Eddie said, his voice probably a little rough as he took a drag. 

“Sure.” 

Well, Eddie wasn’t sure what he’d just done. Did he agree to something? Did he proposition something? What just happened? The sky was dark and Eddie lay down next to Steve. “Sleep at my place tonight, or we could go to yours, whatever you want. I’ll tell you if you’re, like, sleeping weird or something.” 

“Yeah, okay. Tonight?” Steve asked, his voice sounding kind of far away.

Eddie shrugged, “Why not.”

[crypticmoon07]

Kind of obsessed with writers who start a series and then disappear for 10 months like yeah baby edge me fuck that’s so hot

[crypticmoon07]

I just finished watching thirteen reasons why and the ending was actually good.

I feel like most shows that I like have shit endings but I think that 13 reasons why had a pretty decent one. don't get me wrong I would have preferred Justin had not died but I also think it makes sense that he did.

anyway yeah, I might expand on my thought later but for now, I am glad that it ended that way.

oh and also I'm obsessed with Charlie x Alex they are so fucking adorable.

[crypticmoon07]

I'm suddenly getting into writing and I really hope that it stays like this and it isn't just another short-lasting inspo high

[crypticmoon07]

currently thinking about the thing "I'll take care of you" "its rotten work" "not to me, not if its you" but for Tony and Caleb

[crypticmoon07]

Being a pro censorship ao3 user is so insanely cringe. Either use the (incredibly effective and well designed) filtering system to avoid seeing the shit you don't like or stop complaining. Leave the pro censorship rhetoric to Wattpad or smth

[crypticmoon07]

I just want to say that the absolute lack Tony and Caleb in this fandom in criminal, I was looking for fics and I found maybe 3 Caleb/Tony Padilla central ones and I'm upset, they are the most adorable ship and deserve more attention.

[crypticmoon07]

okay so recently I have seem to grown an unhealthy obsession with 13 reasons why and I am just wondering if the fandom is like completely dead, or if there is still a point to my posting my thoughts here instead of leaving them to float around aimlessly in the void (also known as my mind).

so yeah, anyone here? or is it just me, my thoughts, and I?

[crypticmoon07]

been thinking about how Eddie would get bullied a lot. And instead of trying to fight back, or crying about it. He would just turn on the Munson charm. he would very not-so casually flirt with them because he thought it was so funny how quickly they would get flustered.

They would always back up throwing around slurs with intent of showing just how not-queer they are. It was like the worst thing you could ever do to jock was to insinuate that they where gay.

It would always give Eddie a good laugh, even if he was coughing up his own blood.

I can also imagine that at some point Eddie somehow manages to piss Steve off, so Steve starts to threaten Eddie, Eddie of course does what he always does but surprisingly instead of Steve biting back with a punch to the face or screaming slurs he decides to flirt right back, and in the end Eddie ends up being the flustered one.