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jesus no

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onion ring edit

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this movie is comedy gold (it’s called “The nice guys”)

The Nice Guys (2016) dir. Shane Black

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literally the rabbit from monty phthon

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Fey Tavern

Tucked away in a wild forest is this enchanting tavern, a place where the senses are energized and the body is nourished.

This tavern is ran exclusively by Fey creatures, who delight in meeting new guests and treating them with delicious food, hot steamy baths, and warm beds, all free of charge.

However, there is a catch. Once someone enters this tavern…they don’t feel like leaving.

This map is part of my Dwarven, Elven, & Orc taverns pack. You can download the first three maps for free here.

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The Plague Masquerade 🎭🌿

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Hamster's In Dungeon And Dragons

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Rolls to Alarm Your Players

Want to spice the game up? Why not try alarming your players for no real reason? Make sure to make a show out of counting the dice before you roll.

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💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Electric Gittern
Wondrous item, rare ___

This instrument is strung with the gut of a behir, causing it to crackle with electricity whenever it’s played. If you’re proficient with lutes, you’re considered proficient with the gittern. The gittern has 8 charges and regains up to 4 expended charges daily at dawn, or all expended charges if it’s been played for at least 1 hour since the last dawn. If you expend the last charge, roll a d20. On a 1, the gittern breaks in half with a sad, off-key whine, and its magic is lost.

The gittern has the following properties. If you’re not proficient with the gittern and use one of its properties, you have a 50 percent chance to take lightning damage equal to half the amount dealt by it.

𝙂𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙣 𝙎𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙝. This instrument can be used as a magic greatclub. On a hit, a target takes an extra 1d4 lightning damage from the attack.

𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚. As an action, you can strum the gittern and expend 4 of its charges to send a bolt of lightning from it in a line that’s 60 feet long and 5 feet wide. Any creature within the line must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 6d8 lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

𝙏𝙝𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙚. Whenever you deal lightning damage using the gittern, you can immediately use your reaction to play a final, climactic chord. When you do, you can expend up to 4 of the instrument’s charges: for each expended charge, the initial lightning damage is increased by 1d8. ___

✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon’s Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!

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i’m definitely going to use this in my best campaign

💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Starlight’s Reach
Wondrous item, very rare (requires attunement) ___

These long, silken gloves are dotted with silver stars. While wearing them, you can always see the stars in the sky, even in the daytime, and you can’t become lost by nonmagical means as long as you can see them.

While wearing the gloves, you can use a bonus action to summon a javelin of starlight. The javelin appears in your space and moves with you, floating alongside you. It sheds bright light in a 10-foot radius and dim light for an additional 10 feet. When you summon the javelin, and again as a bonus action on each of your subsequent turns, you can make a ranged spell attack with the weapon, with a spell attack bonus of +8. The javelin has a range of 30 feet, but it can be used to attack a target up to 120 feet away: doing so causes you to make the attack with disadvantage.

If the javelin hits a target, it deals 1d6 + 4 radiant damage, and a shimmering star appears fixed in space at the point of impact. The star sheds bright and dim light like the javelin, and it remains there for up to 1 minute. Hit or miss, the javelin then winks out and reappears next to you in your space.

You can use a bonus action to dismiss the javelin. When you do, the shimmering stars created by the javelin each flare with a celestial light, creating 1-inch-diameter beams of energy between them. A star can have up to two beams of energy connected to it, and each beam must connect to a different star no more than 60 feet away from it (you choose which stars). A creature caught in one or more of the beams must succeed on a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw or take 4d6 radiant damage. The stars then vanish.

After the javelin attacks for the fifth time, it disappears, and any stars created by it wink out without creating any beams. ___

✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon’s Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!

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Given how successful Helldivers 2 has been, you know there's already a producer out there somewhere eager to make an adaptation of it. But here's the thing, we don't need a Helldivers movie. We've already got Starship Troopers.

What we need, is a Helldivers 2 animated comedy, with the exact tone of the early seasons of Red vs Blue.

Give me a small crew of Helldivers who are complete idiots that somehow keep surviving by sheer luck.

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me fr

REAL TIME INTEL FROM THE GAY SEX COMMAND CENTER CANNOT SAVE YOU

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Me after watching all the game theory vids about welcome home

When the joke lands perfectly

(Feel free to use it as a reaction image or a meme- but please don’t remove the watermarks!)