cunningraham-blog

[cunningraham-blog]

Everyone’s welcome to seconds and thirds, just remember that after last year’s incident with the Crystalmont High football team, hot dog eating contests amongst yourselves are prohibited. 

[cunningraham-blog]

It’s a good thing I reminded you, then, you wouldn’t want to miss out. We’ll be serving up until the food runs out, but the party runs all day. 

Oh my God. I totally forgot about the cookout this weekend. Is it an all day event?

[cunningraham-blog]

No, just the ‘think about what you’ve done’ area for the famous sauce champion. And a demotion from cooking ribs to serving hot dogs is as much a dunce cap as a physical one when it comes to Johnson. 

Is that that the time out circle of the police barbecues? Does he get a dunce cap?

[cunningraham-blog]

Oh, don’t worry, I wouldn’t put him in charge of cooking the hot dogs and potentially sabotaging them. He’ll probably be in charge of the ribs as usual, or we wouldn’t hear the end of it. 

You can’t do that to good food. That’s just not fair. It’s not the food’s fault, after all. But demote away. That might be amusing.

[cunningraham-blog]

A person, unfortunately. Don’t get me wrong, he’s good at his job, but the man won one award and it’s all he talks about come cookout time. And of course, they’re on the department. 

Is that a brand or a person? Never mind, I don’t care. The hot dogs are free right?

[cunningraham-blog]

It’s only Thursday and I’ve already heard about Johnson’s famous barbecue sauce more than enough for this year. I’m this close to relegating him to dog serving duty. 

[cunningraham-blog]

Of course you are. Even the higher ups around here have to do paperwork. I’m sure you keep things in order there - no mixing up of keys or anything. But you’ll have to forgive me if I think it’s more of a “spoiled” position than mine, as you put it.

Sometimes I fill out paperwork, okay? I’m important. 

[cunningraham-blog]

All in a day’s work, Ms Love. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that and you don’t find yourself in my department or on the wrong side of the bars. 

Amen. Well thank you, Ms. Graham, for keeping our streets safe. Next time you find me in your department, I hope you’ll remember that I’m one of the good ones. 

[cunningraham-blog]

I have made an effort, Eli. It may not seem that way but...I know things. I just want to keep you safe.

If that’s what you’d prefer, you could make an effort with some of the people in my life…

[cunningraham-blog]

Ah, there we go. Somehow they’re more complimentary when they’re not being flung at you and followed up by a kick to the gut. And that’s unfortunately true. I wouldn’t be where I am if I was afraid of being called a bitch. Before long they figure out that the bitch can just as easily be the alpha.

Bitch and hard-ass were definitely in there somewhere, but if no one’s calling you a bitch, you’re not really doing your job right are you? Or you’re a man. 

[cunningraham-blog]

Cracking down on the town’s delinquents and occasional murders never seemed like a luxury to me. I’m not sure it be in Crystalmont’s best interest to trust you with a gun, Mr. Finch. No matter how tempting a nap behind the inn’s desk sounds.

Yeah, well, you’re spoiled. Trade jobs with me for one day and see how the other side lives. 

[cunningraham-blog]

I’m sorry to hear that, Eli. You know I’d prefer that things go as well as possible for you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you and Rylie.

Things are good. But they could be better…

[cunningraham-blog]

I take pride in doing my job well, I can’t lie. Someone has to keep these kids in line - half of them have hopes of leaving here some day and they can’t do that if you don’t nip delinquency in the bud. Really? Well in that case, they’re all good things I hope? Not that I’d want to develop a reputation for being lenient.

You sound like you’re good at your job. You know, I’ve heard the name Officer Graham from the first moment I got to this place, and I never knew what the fuss was about. I think I get it now. 

[cunningraham-blog]

Youths and troublemaking adults, actually. Trust me, I love fireworks as much as the next person, but the illegal kind are more dangerous than anything else. They might look nice but they’ll set off car alarms through a whole neighborhood and a stray ember in dry brush and it’s all downhill from there.

Fireworks? Sick! I mean–How reckless, these damn youths! 

[cunningraham-blog]

Nothing you need to worry about, Eli. How are...things? 

… What’s wrong, Daph?

[cunningraham-blog]

Ah, the sounds of Crystalmont at lunchtime. I have to say though, I think I prefer fireworks to the inn’s afternoon delight tenants. 

Really? On my lunch break, I like to hear the sounds of couples making out passionately in our lower floor rooms. And the occasional “Condoms? I thought you were buying condoms!” 

[cunningraham-blog]

True, but who wouldn’t be, surrounded by those little faces every day? And I’d really rather not have that conversation. But you’re right - work is actually more of a welcome outlet lately. 

Nah, that’d be Rylie. She’s always happy. I have my moments of optimism. What’s the worst of your problems? I haven’t heard of any murders so you can’t be that wrecked at work.