cynwritess

[cynwritess]

My Outlining Technique As A Pantser

I despise outlining with every fiber of my soul. I don’t care how much people persist you need an outline, I will put it off to the very last minute and do it very half-assed. Even in school, its straight to the first draft. Outlining requires a very precise skill of breaking things down as small as possible and my mind simply does not function that way. It’s literally all or nothing. Unfortunately while this may work for writing school essays, it’s not exactly a good idea when it comes to a book. Writing a book requires structure and precision because you need to carefully place information, have an idea where your characters are going, tedious yet necessary things. Fortunately, I’ve come up with a way to outline without completely frying my brain.

Characters. 

I almost always start with the characters first and build the world, other characters, and plot around them. If you have a name in mine, perfect! Go ahead and use it! If you don’t have a name, don’t dread scouring through dozens of baby name websites. Give them a place holder name or better yet, give them a role/title. I’m going to use one of my current characters (steal anything about her and I’ll send demons after you). When I first created Selina I only had a vague aesthetic and the idea that I wanted her to somehow be attached to spirits. Her name didn’t come to me until 25k into the story, but I had to refer to her as something so I used a conjunction of a place holder name and calling her “Reaper of Souls”. This way I know exactly who I’m referring to. Also, this helps me know what path my character needs to go down. Reaper of Souls is who she’ll become, but its definitely not who she is when the story begins. It makes me thing: What steps do I need to take to get her there? This is where you can start brainstorming character arcs and give them trauma. 

Another essential part of creating characters in my opinion is giving them “role models”. Personally, if this is a brand new character I’m creating off the top of my head its hard to write them because I know nothing about them. I don’t know their sense of humor, who they would and wouldn’t get along with, their inner monologue, etc. Now you have to be careful with this and make sure to mold them into their own unique characters at the end of the day, but you can use other already existing characters to help begin the process. When creating Selina I knew vaguely she needed to be connected to spirits. What characters do I know like that? Jodie from Beyond Two Souls is a good one and Zelie is a bit of a different twist to it but still the same general idea. But wait! Selina’s vibe doesn’t match either of them. So in this case I might look at Jude Duarte for inspiration for her personality. Nitpick all your favorite things about different characters and use that to your advantage! It gives you the jolt you need to really begin to explore who your character is. 

Always do the main character first, then follow with the supporting character or villain. In my opinion, the main supporting character and villain should be foils of the main character in order to get the most out of each one, because you’ll be able to see different aspects and different arcs they could’ve/will have. Once you have those three characters you can create the others as you progress with your story.

Setting.

This can either be really simple or your worst fucking nightmare. For me, it’s a mixture of both. If your story is taking place in the real world then this can be relatively simple even if you’re creating your own town/city. If your town has a very specific location like a town square or maybe there’s a river running through it, then just google “towns with a river going through it” for a start. If you have a specific town in mind you can also google the map and start dissecting different aspects of the town and incorporating it into your own. You can even use your own town for inspiration! The town my story takes place in is made up, but my hometown actually resembles it quite a bit so I’ve been using it for references. So far, its been working out pretty good.

Now if you have a high fantasy setting... I wish you the best of luck. I’ve only written one high fantasy story when I was twelve and... well clearly its never seen the light of day for a reason (partially because I deleted it, partially because there was absolutely zero world-building). I’m sorry to say my skills have no improved much since then. I’ve dabbled with the idea of high fantasy worlds and honestly my only advice is to look at other fantasy maps and draw inspiration from that. Narnia, Ravka, the ACOTAR world, the shifting isles of Elfhame, the Avatar universe, Orisha, to name a few. You’ll also have to look at some basic geographical stuff like the climate, but overall you have pretty much free reign over how your world looks. This is the one part I feel like you can’t bullshit if you don’t want your story to seem halfway. Really go in with the details even if its just for you. The more fleshed out your world is, even if its set here in the normal world, the better.

The main issue. 

This is pretty much a given but you do need to have some sort of idea who the main antagonist is/what is the big issue your characters are fighting. If you’re writing a series then chances are book one will probably focus on an entirely different issue before the big one is revealed. There’s not really much advice I can give for this because it’ll be tailored specifically to your story. I don’t think your antagonist has to be fully fleshed out if you’re going to be introducing them very late, but do have a general idea who or what it is, their goal, and why your character feels the need to stop them.

Usually you’ll notice the problem in the beginning of the story isn’t the ultimate problem, its just a gateway to it. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a subplot but I guess technically that’s what it is. Think of Percy Jackson. The main issue of book one is him being accused of stealing the lightning bolt, but the ultimate issue was the war with the titans. Or The Cruel Prince. The main issue was Jude feeling helpless and wanting to create a place for herself in the faery world, but the ultimate issue was those attempting overthrowing the entire Greenbriar family from the thrown. 

This kind of goes without saying, but there has to be a strong motivation for the character to stop them or it just won’t work. You don’t see characters going after the antagonist because nothing in their life isn’t threatened. There’s always a motivation, something to fuel them even if done so reluctantly. For example, Zelie from Children of Blood and Bone was sick and tired of constantly fighting and being the hero, but she did it anyways because she was the only one who could truly help the maji. Or you can take a slightly antagonistic approach and look at Kaz from Six of Crows who did what he did out of greed for money, power, and revenge. Usually when I begin my stories, I only have a vague idea as to why my main character is joining the fight, which is perfectly fine. As long as you have some sort of idea and begin to build on it as you write, you’ll be probably be fine. 

Brainstorm.

I cannot for the life of me sit in front of my computer and write a bland summary of what it is that is going to happen in my book. Sorry, but I am simply not built that way but it also makes writing your books ten times harder as well. I’ve found a bit of a cheat. For one, brainstorm. Get a general idea what some of the main events you want to happen are. Do you want a character death? Does a specific location need to be mentioned? Is there subplots or character arcs you would like to explore? Is there any themes you’d like to explore? Jot them all down, along with your word count goal. You probably won’t be able to incorporate all of them in one book, but at least you’ll have an idea what path you’re going to head down in terms of your story.

And now onto my actual cheat. Because I’m a pantser who hates outlining, I usually jump into my stories without knowing what direction they are going. Recently I’ve discovered that I can outline the first five chapters, write them out, and give myself complete free reign. I’ll explore all sorts of character personalities, different beginnings, different writing styles, different scenarios, different relationships, anything I can realistically include in the first five chapters of my story. Then I’ll go back and edit it. Don’t completely delete anything, always save it in a separate file! I’ll go back and decide which characters are unnecessary at this point, what plot points can be introduced later on, what writing style suits this story, things like that. Then from there, I’ll go back to my outline and make any appropriate changes before proceeding to write the rest of the draft as normal (WITHOUT GOING BACK TO EDIT). The reason why I do this is because I need a solid base to begin my story, otherwise its so easy for me to go off track and begin to tell a completely different story. This way I’ll know exactly what I’m going after, I’ll be able to explore and get to know my characters and setting, and it’s enough chapters that I can even begin to incorporate the main issue at hand. 

[cynwritess]

Socially Awkward Characters

It’s fun to write characters who are confident and bold! It can also be fun to write characters who struggle in social situations. This post was requested by a follower. Thanks for the suggestion!

As a note, socially awkward ≠ social anxiety or autism. Some of the features of socially awkward people may overlap with symptoms of social anxiety or autism, but they are not synonyms. If you’re looking to write an autistic character or a character with social anxiety, do research on those specific disorders and try and find sensitivity readers.

Social Awareness

The first thing to consider when writing a socially awkward character is whether they are aware they’re awkward or not. For a neurotypical character, the answer is usually yes, but not always.

A character who lacks social awareness may have difficulty “reading the room” so to speak. The atmosphere may be somber and reflective and then a character may blurt out a poorly timed joke. Or a character may have difficulty determining when people are getting bored or annoyed by their statements.

If a character does have social awareness, they likely feel stress or unease in social situations, especially when around groups of strangers. When writing awkward but socially aware characters, consider what coping mechanism they use to deal with their feelings of discomfort.

Avoiding Social Situations

A socially awkward character may try to avoid social interactions. They would never voluntarily show up to a large party. They may have small groups of friends they are comfortable around and stick close to them when unable to avoid interactions with strangers or lesser known acquaintances.

If they are forced into a social situation, they may hang around the corners and not speak unless spoken to. They may make their bodies physically small and hold their arms in front of them or use an object like a cup or jacket to create distance between themselves and others. They may even hide in the bathroom and/or go on their phone to pass the time until they can leave.

These types of characters are usually introverts, having no problem spending time alone.

Overcompensating

Sometimes, social interaction is inevitable. Or perhaps our character is an extrovert who craves social interaction despite not being very good at it.

It’s very common for socially awkward people to overcompensate as a way to get around their discomfort. For example, they may monopolize conversations or go on and on about one topic when they find a chance to speak. They may constantly turn the conversation back to themselves and come across as rude or arrogant when really they’re just insecure.

It’s not uncommon for socially awkward characters to interrupt conversations because they can’t get a sense of the “rhythm” to find a moment to jump in. Or a character will finally have something to add to the conversation, but then someone else jumps in and by the time they have a turn to speak, their point is no longer relevant. This is likely a frustrating experience, and the character may cling to their point with the hope the conversation will swing around to it again.

Oftentimes, if these characters are socially aware, they feel ashamed after the social interaction is over. They may overthink everything they said and constantly wonder why did I say/do that?

Adults

Most socially awkward adults will have found ways to cope with their awkwardness. Small talk and introducing oneself are important life skills. While these characters may feel awkward and out of place during social interactions, they may not come across that way.

Some coping mechanisms that hide how unnatural someone feels include smiling while speaking and deflecting the conversation to others. Their goal is likely to keep a smooth conversation going. Since they’re uncomfortable speaking to strangers, they may ask a lot of questions about others and nod along, whether they’re interested or not.

Chances are, if their conversation partner is comfortable with social interactions, they’ll have no problem talking about themselves so long as someone indicates they’re interested in listening. In fact, they might not notice that the socially awkward character barely shared anything from their own life. They may even perceive the socially awkward character as an adept communicator since they feel good while speaking to someone so willing to listen. Their lasting impression is how the interaction made them feel.

Other adults have less healthy coping mechanisms. They may drink or smoke to calm nerves before entering a social interaction. If this is light drinking at the occasional party, it can be fine. But sometimes the desire to escape feelings of discomfort can fuel an addiction. A character may feel reliant on drugs or alcohol to have a good time or be liked.

Public Speaking vs Social Interaction

While they often overlap, public speaking and navigating social situations are two separate skills. It’s very possible for someone to be incredible at one and inept in another.

In my time competing in debate, I met someone who’s an incredible public speaker. Getting assigned to debate against them was basically an automatic loss. They now compete and regularly rank nationally in debate. I’ll admit, I’m not a master at social interactions, but I have never managed to even have a full conversation with this person. They always look terrified whenever I try to talk to them after a round and don’t give much back to keep a conversation up. Super nice person, but I was never able to get close to them.

Basically, give your socially awkward characters some dimension. Just because they have difficulty in social situations doesn’t mean they’re stupid or inarticulate. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that highly intelligent people are more likely to be socially awkward. Give them a chance to shine in other areas. Don’t relegate them to serve exclusively as the butts of jokes in your stories.

[cynwritess]

Creating Villains

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if the story was told through the eyes of the villain, their actions and motives should be just as understandable as the hero’s. The only difference such be perspective and how far they are willing to go to achieve their goals. This is just my personal opinion, but I’ve stood by it since I started writing.

Figure out where your villain will draw the line. 

How far are they willing to go? Will they kill thousands? Will they harm children? Will they sacrifice their friends and allies? What won’t your villain do to achieve their goal? Heroes usually have morals and codes they follow to ensure they won’t fall down a dark path. Of course there are exceptions to the rules, but for the most part they’ll try to stuck to them. Villains on the other hand don’t usually care much for the rules. They create them and break them as they see fit. 

SPOILERS IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH FOR SHADOW AND BONE AND VICIOUS!

Look at the Darkling from Shadow and Bone for example. There’s seemingly no lines he wouldn’t cross. He blinded his own mother, he murdered children and the people who took care of Alina, turned Nikolai into one of his monsters, the list goes on and on and on. But then lets look at Victor Vale from Vicious. He wanted nothing more than to destroy Eli Ever no matter the cost, but when the life of a kid he took under his wing was in danger, he wasted no time jeopardizing his plan to save her. He refused to put her in harms way even if it meant his plans were now in shambles. Which actually brings me to my next point.  

Give them someone to care about. 

Unless your villain is running solo for whatever reason, in my personal opinion you need to give them someone to care for. It humanizes them and can even help you reader connect more because they see the villain isn’t heartless and doesn’t care for anyone or anything but themselves and their plans. The darkling still cared for his mother. He may have done horrible things to her, yet at the end of the day he cared for her. Victor Vale cared for Mitch and Sydney. Pekka Rollins cared for his son. At the end of the day, regardless of how their love is presented, most villains have love for someone in their life. It could even be a pet!

There has to be one person they absolutely would not sacrifice for their plans. There’s exceptions of course. Eli Ever is one villain I can think of that was willing to do absolutely anything and didn’t give a damn about anyone, but we see in the sequel to Vicious that companionship has never worked out in his favor. If you want to do this my advice is to tread carefully. You’ll need a carefully crafted backstory to support why your villain is the way they are, otherwise your readers may feel as if the buildup is bland. 

Also, the love your villain will have does not have to be necessarily good. Your villain may love the best way they know how, while still being toxic and dangerous at the end of the day. 

Give them a reason beyond tragedy.

Don’t get me wrong, yeah you can have a tragic backstory but at this point in time its usually with extremely overused tropes. I’m not saying don’t give them trauma, but there are other ways to craft a villain. They could be misguided or misinformed. Maybe its the only way they know how to survive. Maybe someone they love is in danger and this is the only way they know how to save them. Look into other ways to craft your villain. 

Are they okay with being the villain?

This is where I feel as if there’s a major difference between certain villains. Some will think they are doing something heroic whereas others know what they are doing is wrong. The Darkling didn’t think he was a villain, but he was perfectly fine with Alina seeing him that way. Victor Vale was the same way. But if we look at Luke Castellan, he thought he was a hero for attempting to bring back the Titans and resort to the old ways because of how the demi-gods were being treated. 

Is your villain fine with being recognized as a monster? Do they no longer care about the opinions of others, because they are certain what they are doing is justified?

[cynwritess]

Writing Tips: The Pitfalls of “Realized”

When we’re talking about reducing narrative distance, the term “realized” is our enemy.  It’s a clear sign of telling and not showing.  I’m currently trying to root this out of my story.

Sometimes it can just be deleted, removing a barrier between our reader and the character. For example, notice how removing “realized” from the following passage helps:

No doubt, Anna did understand how difficult it was for her.  Elsa realized that it was she herself who didn’t seem to understand what was going on.

But sometimes it requires more aggressive rewrites.  Notice how this passage improves by replacing “realized” with something better:

BEFORE REWRITES

As she flipped through more pages she realized she was getting close to the end of the section and she hadn’t yet seen John’s name.  Her apprehension swelled as she turned each page, seeing name after name that she didn’t recognize, and when she turned the last page for the Southern Isles she still hadn’t found a record of anyone named John.

The bolded sections are examples of telling.  Now let’s try to rewrite it to do more showing:

AFTER REWRITES

She flipped through more pages. She was getting close to the end of the section and she hadn’t yet seen John’s name.  Why hadn’t she seen it?  What if it wasn’t there? She held her breath as she turned the last few pages, seeing name after name she didn’t recognize, and when she turned the last page for the Southern Isles she sighed in disbelief.  There was no record of anyone named John.

I think that’s better.  I’m not crazy about the breath holding, but it’s still an improvement.  It seems to get us closer to the character’s thoughts and feelings.

[cynwritess]

Collection Of Amazing Sunrays In The Forest In The Netherlands

With mist on a sunny day you are able to capture amazing sunrays in the forest. In the misty mornings about an hour after sunrise you can find the sunbeams.

[cynwritess]

Writing High Characters

Hey, your local writing pothead here to help you guys accurately write your 4/20 friendly characters. Just want to put this out there before I start, in no way am I saying go out there and do drugs. Drugs are bad kids. Stay away from them. But feel free to use the information in this post to write your stoner characters!

Joints and blunts are two different things. 

You have to be careful description wise because if you describe a blunt like a joint anyone will easily know you did not do your research. A joint is rolled with papers, usually with a filter (paper that is folded so the herb doesn’t fly into your mouth while taking a pull) and twisted at the end. A blunt is rolled with tobacco leaf, which you usually have to hollow out yourself. Which one your character uses is up to personal preference and convenience. Papers are the healthier option but leaves burn nicer. At the end of the day, both get the job done so it’s just a matter of preference for your character.

There’s also pens and pipes.

If your character is health conscious then have them use a pipe. There’s different kinds like crystal or glass and both get the job done as well. This is the one where you put the herbs in a small little bowl, light it, and inhale from the other end. Highly recommend this for your classy characters as well. 

On the contrary, there’s also pens/carts. If you watch Grand Army then you probably know what I’m talking about. This is when the THC oil is in a small glass cartridge and a pen component oxidizes it. If your character has strict parents but still wants to get high they will more than likely invest in carts but keep in mind a lot are fakes if not bought from dispensaries. Fakes are filled with pesticides and chemicals that can later affect their health. If you’re character is smoking them very often and finishing carts by themselves, consider giving them health issues along the road or even realizing this and switching. 

Weed is not crack. Don’t treat it like it is.

It’s an herb. It’s medicinal. It’s a valid coping mechanism. There are dozens of reasons why someone can start smoking. When I first started I was using it to self-medicate for my eating disorder and my anxiety. It can also be used for emotional trauma. It isn’t always just “I wanna get high let me smoke” many marijuana users have a reason. 

At the same time, that doesn’t mean it can’t be abused. If your character is smoking several times a day every single day and feels as if they can’t function without it, they have a problem that needs to be addressed. You can’t physically become dependent on weed and there aren’t any severe withdrawal symptoms (insomnia, lack of appetite, and restlessness is about as far as it goes) they can still become heavily dependent on it if not used in moderation. After long-term abuse they might begin to have issues like disassociation.

The high is nothing like hard drugs. 

It depends on the strain and how much is smoked how you feel. There’s indica, sativa, and hybrid in terms of types of weed, with different strains for each one. Indica is a body high and very mellow, it makes you a couch potato and not want to move. Sativa is a head high and usually much more potent, this is usually when people get crazy thoughts and ideas. Hybrid can fall anywhere on the spectrum because its a combination of indica and sativa. No matter what strain you’re smoking, unless its laced (when its mixed with other drugs like fentanyl or oxy) you’re character will always know what they are doing in the sense that they are present and semi-aware. It’s not like xanax where you can black out and do stuff you won’t remember. The worst thing that could happen is you completely devour everything in your kitchen. 

You can’t overdose but you can green out. 

I love Grand Army because it shows so many experiences that usually never get talked about. If you watched the show then you know what scene I’m unfortunately referring to, but when Tim was in the cab and his vision and hearing was distorted, that’s greening out. On the outside, it just looks like being zoned out. On the inside... not so much.

So technically it’s impossible to overdose on weed but you can get too high. Some of the symptoms are:

racing heart

manual breathing (when you actually have to focus on how to breathe)

a rushing head feeling

“zoning out”

If your character is going to green out you need to focus on a lot of inner dialogue that’s sporadic and doesn’t really have a concise train of thought. If they’re aware of the fact that they’re greening out they might drink water or get something to eat and that often fixes the problem.

[cynwritess]

Writing Characters Who Are Detached from their Culture

Can I just say the amount of informative posts about how to write specific culture is amazing? I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m a mixed kid and growing up all of my heroes were white. I can’t even begin to go into how much that hurt reading about all these amazing adventures but never seeing myself in a book. In fact, it wasn’t until this year did I really begin to see diversity in the books I’ve been reading. However, with this newfound diversity, I also feel like its important to talk about characters who are POC but don’t really have a connection to their culture.

Decide why the character isn’t connected to their culture. 

In Grand Army (a Netflix show for anyone who’s interest, highly recommend but slightly triggering) Leila Kwan Zimmer is a Chinese girl who was adopted by a Jewish family. She’s mentioned how she feels as if she’s living a stolen life because her family is dressing her up to be something she isn’t: a white American teenage girl. It’s not her fault that she’s disconnected from her culture. She’s even in a class attempting to learn about her culture, but it doesn’t change the fact that there is this divide. 

In this case, its something beyond the character’s control. This isn’t the only route you have to take though. For me personally, I’m detached from my culture because my parents never taught me. I know about a lot of our foods, I know about some holidays and traditions, but that’s about it. It’s not that I don’t want to learn. I’ve asked them I’ve asked them on multiple occasions to take me to their home country so I can learn first hand, but the situation just never works out in my favor. 

Similar to Leila’s character, maybe the family members who can teach them best simply aren’t around. Absent parents are a thing and completely beyond a singular person’s control. Yes, you’re character can do research but there’s a big difference between reading about a culture versus actually learning and experiencing it first hand. 

I strongly recommend staying away from the whole “I don’t care about my culture” trope because that can easily be seen as white-washing your characters. 

Show some discomfort.

Leila is going to be my go to example because despite how much I hate her character, I have to admit the writers did amazing with this aspect. Throughout the show, Leila is in a class focusing on China and it’s culture, most of the students in there being of Chinese/Asian descent and can speak Mandarin. Leila is very uncomfortable in this class, because most of the time two girls would speak Mandarin around her and about her yet she wouldn’t be able to understand them. We can visibly see how this makes her feel unwelcomed in the class because she feels like she’s an imposter despite it being her culture too.

Or you can show discomfort when they are participating in something relating to their culture. I learned how to ride a bike when I was thirteen because no one ever taught me. I felt stupid and embarrassed and I just wanted to throw the damn thing somewhere and go back home. Your character might feel the same way, like they’re too late to learn about anything and now they’re a fraud.  

If there are other characters in your story with the same ethnicity, show a healthy amount of envy especially if they are closer to their culture. They have what your character desperately wants but can’t achieve and it’s not like its something your character can physically take from them or do much about.

There can be a language barrier. 

Fortunately my parents country only speaks broken English so I’ve never had to deal with this. Obviously it depends on your characters ethnicity, but if they don’t speak the language of their country they might feel ashamed about this too. They might feel like an imposter, especially when people approach them expecting them to speak the language and they have to say “Sorry, I don’t speak that language.” 

If this really bugs your character, maybe mention them taking classes or trying to learn the language.

[cynwritess]

Writing a Small Town

Small towns is not a very common setting I see very often. Granted, many of my reads have been high fantasy as of late, but I still feel as if a lot of books are lacking the uniqueness of small towns. There’s so much you can do and play around with, especially if you love worldbuilding in a realistic setting. As someone who lives in a small town there’s a lot you can play around with.

Decide how small is small enough.

For example, my town is so small that I used to walk to neighboring towns and it would take an hour, sometimes an hour and a half (my town is 2.2 square miles for reference). It used to be bigger, but due to the construction of the highway it got broken into three parts and my town happens to be the smallest one located near the center of everything. 

Obviously you don’t have to make your town as small, but try to keep in mind the size and why it is the way it is. Maybe construction projects in the past ended up dividing the town. Maybe there was an incident like a bombing or building collapses and once the town rebuilt, it was split up. If you really want to go into the history, consider writing about the town when it was still a settlement. Maybe a rivalry between leaders caused a divide. You have a lot of free reign here. 

There isn’t going to be a lot of businesses.

What I mean by this is a lot of the big companies you see in strip malls like TJX, Hollister, Sephora, etc. more than likely won’t be located in these towns. In my town we don’t even have a movie theater or hospital. Instead, write more about family owned business. There might also be a “main street” or a very small shopping plaza with pharmacies, CVS, plenty of fast food places, and lower-end brands. 

Typically if you’re going to do any sort of shopping neighboring towns and cities are your go-to. If your characters are teenagers, public transportation will probably be extremely popular among them so make sure you take that into consideration as well. If they’re heading out for a night of fun, let them travel elsewhere to do so or let them plan something small yet simple like going to eat at Burger King then going to the park. Again, it all depends on how small you decide to make your town.

The education/sports teams in small towns sucks.

This could just be a funding thing in my community but I’ve never heard of a small town that had a decent educational system or sports teams. Some teams are so small they might join with other schools in the area or might not have a team for that sport at all. Typically less than 500 students (if even that) should attend the high school, and there is usually one high school. If your character can afford it and you’re interested in writing it, look into vocational/tech schools. It’ll require more worldbuilding because it should be located outside of the main town, but if that isn’t a factor you care for I highly recommend going for it!

Also, gossip spreads like wildfire. Everyone is in everyone’s business and I mean that very literally. 

Hidden gems.

The best part about writing is that you have the ability to do anything. My town doesn’t have any hidden gems, but that doesn’t mean you can’t include one in yours! Maybe its a secret spot with the best view of the sunset, or a small idle area that’s perfect for reading a book when your characters want alone time. Even abandoned buildings could be treasure to your characters as long as you give it a significant meaning. Have fun with creating your town!

[cynwritess]

Writing Sleep Paralysis

This post will be based solely on my experiences, but consider me an expert. When I was thirteen I used to get sleep paralysis every single night multiple times a night so if you’ve come looking for information, you’re in the right place!

Sleep paralysis is a different experience for everyone but it basically boils down to this: when you’re sleeping your body paralyzes itself to protect you from doing the things you’re doing in your dream. Between the stages of waking up and being asleep, your mind can sometimes realize what’s going on and you’ll end up in the infamous sleep paralysis. Sometimes you’ll simply be laying there paralyzed. Other times... you may not be so lucky. For whatever reason you may want to torture your characters, here’s some small tips and advice about sleep paralysis.

Being paralyzed is not fun.

Its strange to put into words, but there’s almost an eerie feeling when you wake up and can’t move. You can look around yet can’t move your head. If you’re lucky, you might still be able to breathe. The worst part of all, the more you try to fight the paralysis is the more it’ll sink in. This is where you can really torture your characters, especially the strong-willed ones. I can literally remember looking at my hand trying so hard to focus and break out of the paralysis and feeling as if it were sinking deeper into the bed. Fighting sleep paralysis is a losing battle. It does not matter how strong or powerful your character is, if they’re stuck in sleep paralysis they will be like that for a few minutes.

If your character happens to be extremely unlucky then in addition to not being able to move they also might not be able to breathe. For this, I recommend a lot of internal dialogue of the character screaming at themselves to breathe or maybe even calmly yet clearly anxiously trying to coax themselves to taking a single breathe. Don’t let it work. Not until their head is pounding and they’re about to cry. Not until they genuinely believe they’re going to suffocate and die in their bedroom.

I’ve mentioned before that it’s possible to have sleep paralysis multiple times a night. Its also possible to feel as if you’re suffocating for every single episode. 

To this day I still don’t know if I was actually about to suffocate or not. Anything that happens in sleep paralysis feels painfully real. Use that to your advantage. 

Time loses all meaning. 

It doesn’t last for more than a few seconds or minutes, yet it’ll feel like hours. There was one time I actually managed to look at my clock and I could’ve sworn it had been several minutes when in actuality it was only a few seconds. Logically, you’ll want to calm down and relax until this is all over. In actuality, there’s an unmanageable panic that’ll settle in, making the experience ten times worse than it actually is. 

Sometimes you’re not alone in your bedroom.

This kind of works hand in hand with the whole suffocating thing. Scientifically speaking, because your body is exiting the REM state it can cause hallucinations in sleep paralysis. However because scientists can’t really explain sleep paralysis its up to interpretation why you think the hallucinations happen and what hallucinations your characters see. 

If your book has some spiritual elements in it, it’s 100% realistic to write demons/spirits visiting your characters. There’s a lot of ways you can play around with this experience. Usually the experience will be malicious (I’ve personally never had a pleasant experience with my sleep paralysis demons) but not always will it try to bring you physical harm. 

The demon can sit in the corner of your characters room and just watch them

It can be only an eerie feeling of not being alone

Being touched and moved by these demons

If you want to make things extra creepy, have the character wake up in the position they woke up in even though they were moved. 

Remember, you’re character is still helplessly paralyzed. Inner monologue is your friend especially if they have a visitor. 

Particularly nasty nightmares prior to sleep paralysis can play a factor in what you see.

Sleep paralysis is traumatic. 

If its a recurring event for your character, make sure to show the negative affects its having on their mental health. 

paranoia 

sleep deprivation 

insomnia 

nightmares

When I used to get sleep paralysis it was so bad I would force myself to stay awake the entire night. There were some nights I went to school with only forty minutes of sleep because I was so scared to go to sleep. I was fully convinced that if I were to fall asleep, I would suffocate and die in sleep paralysis. If I did sleep, it was during the day when the sun was still out or (more than often) I would just sleep in school. I highly recommend looking into sleep deprivation and insomnia if you’re going to write about sleep paralysis. 

[cynwritess]

fuck it. be creative even if you never really *make* anything. write out plot synopses of stories and then move on. design OCs you'll never use. make mood boards and concept art and don't do anything with them. life's too short to forget everything that inspired you and creation doesn't have to be "complete" to be worth the time you put into it.

[cynwritess]

Any advice to other writers?

yes. it is this: stop listening to advice.

in 2nd grade my advice was stop writing. i’m an adhd cuban kid writing bad poetry, trembling when i raise my hand in public. i get my first (and only) award at this age, when my colorblind self sees a picture incorrectly and writes a poem about the muddiness a toad sits in, where everyone else sees colors, blossoming.at 15 you will not win awards. nor at 16, or 20, or 23. 

but if this is your heart and soul, you will keep writing. because it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter if 215,000 people read your writing, or just 3. what matters is that you write, in margins of papers you lose, in the edges of moleskins you burn, on your exposed skin. you write and write and write until you are drained of it. but you are never, not really, drained of it. in the meantime, i learned grammar so specifically i could teach it, so teach it i did, in a better way than i ever learned it. i explained: there, their, and they’re are easy to remember. there has “here” in it, which makes it regarding times or places. their has a little person in the form of “i” in it. that’s about you or other people. “they’re” is the easiest because the apostrophe means “they are”. and that’s the end of things. “breath” and “breathe” are different but related things, when you take a breath, you swallow the “e”, to breathe means you rEleasE the ending. 

and then i crushed it under a boot. a lot of people asked me: how come. but the how is easy. the lower case and all my lack of punctuation and things. i knew the rules and broke them because it was the thing to do. bc it felt weird to talk in a fake way, u know? like i was lying.

so i told the truth. while i talked about superpowers or magic or anything fake. i told the truth. and that’s what makes it real, isn’t it. that we look for the honesty of a moment. nobody says “hey how are you doing?” “oh, i’m fine, how about you?” unless they’re being fake. two friends say “what’s up?” the other says “i’m dead inside fuck you.” 

and you watch. i watch with big eyes. i observe. i know how people talk to each other, how they move in the world. so when she glides through the doors, people turn and look at her. so that blurting isn’t just blurting, it’s meant with uncertainty. so that things have meaning.

people ask me: how come your dialogue is so good? and the truth is: i cheat. i say it out loud, and think: does this flow? does it rest? does it sound like two people talking? “how is that going” “here is exposition about my being a spy i was once in the Russian army” doesn’t sound friendly. two people being like “how’s that vent crawling going?” “oh, you know, lovely, i’m belly-flat and hungry” sounds much more lovely. this is how you fit in character development. i almost never do it without spoken word. why say “she was mad about her past” when i can say “oh, you know, lovely, i’m belly-flat and hungry, but like, you know, they carved out my insides, so, like, extra room, thanks, you fuckers,” works twice as well.

and then i throw it out. people say “here’s a list of words that replace said” so i write a story where people only use said, and it works, because the narrator’s voice is strong enough it carries it on through the universe. and i throw out commas. and i throw out quotation marks. i use whatever i think the words need. and i move forwards.

i think what writers should be afraid of the most is stagnation. not agents or how the audience will take them or how the world will scoop up words or anything. just the healthy fear of constantly rewriting the same thing in different words. that’s the true fear. and this isn’t to say that you can’t write about the same emotions or people. but everything should be a new exploration into a concept. kind of a tall order. 

so i’ll say this. who gives a shit. if you spend 4 years writing a love poetry blog to your significant other, he still ends up hating your poetry. if you write to the wrong person, you feel stupid and numb, endless. in a bad way, i mean.

so write for yourself, always. who cares about notes. i write dumb shit all the time. write because it’s the only thing worth doing. write because people told you to stop.

people ask me all the time “how did you do that!” but the truth is all you need to do is look at the number of posts. at the end of six thousand, you find a way around your land. 

and you find your voice. and that’s all that matters, in the end.

[cynwritess]

How do you write the grieving process of a close friend or family member? I am having difficulty trying to show that my character is grieving the lost of his brother without being either too distracting or too corny. Although a death of a brother is a major motivation for my character because he is trying to solve and avenge the death of his brother throughout the story.

Thank you for your question, love!  I am a huge angst writer, so excuse me if this gets a bit rambly…

How (and How Not) to Write Grief

Grief is one of the most powerful emotions and narratives I’ve ever seen in fiction, so I understand your concern about it.  There are a lot of ways to go about writing grief, especially since your character’s personality shouldn’t fit just any grieving arc.  Everyone mourns differently, so you’ll have to look at who you’re writing and decide what suits them best.

That aside, I do have some general tips that should help.

Things to Consider:

Shock is a valuable tool.  Many people do not experience grief as soon as a loved one passes.  Some people go through a brief or extended period of shock, which basically preserves them emotionally.  Shock helps to push us through bad times until we find a better, safer time to grieve – while funeral preparations are being made, or work is being done.  A person in shock may seem normal or cold in nature, and they may be more irritable or obsessive.  Some people stave off grieving longer than is healthy, especially by throwing themselves into work or indulging in drugs or alcohol.  But everyone faces grief at one point or another – and when this moment comes, it can serve as a climactic point in your character’s development.

Grief comes in waves, not rivers.  You don’t think about it once, and you don’t think about it all the time.  You don’t think, “I miss them,” a few times a day until it passes.  You see something they bought you for your birthday and you feel a rush of heaviness, and you try to remember if you thanked them enough.  You listen to a song with headphones and you think you hear them calling you from another room, and you take off the headphones and shoot up in your seat, until you remember.  Maybe you forget for a few days, as time passes, but someone sharing the weather on the radio will sound like their voice, or you’ll pass the place you used to get coffee together, or someone will tell a joke they used to tell, and it’ll ram you like a truck.  Your character may find comfort or pain in these reminders.  You lean into their memory or you throw out their things, or you stumble somewhere in between.

With grief comes guilt.  Whether or not your character was related to the death at all, guilt is usually a side effect of outliving a loved one.  If your character was related to the death, they’ll replay it in their head a thousand times; they’ll wonder how they could have prevented it, or if they should have seen it coming.  (There’s a great example of this in a short PC game called “The Last Day of June.)  Your character may feel a twinge of guilt sometimes, when they laugh or have a good time with someone else; when they do something to remind them that they’re alive, and their loved one isn’t, for some reason.  Maybe they feel bad for expressing sadness.  Maybe they’re scared to take other people for granted.  Maybe they feel selfish for taking any focus off the person who died.  Think about this as you’re moving your character forward with their own life and their own goals.

Grief affects the day-to-day.  Losing someone takes it out of you; right away, even during shock, a grieving person’s general mood will take a hit.  Nothing feels too good when you’ve just lost someone – not eating, drinking, sleeping, talking to loved ones, or indulging in hobbies.  Slacking on these things can cause you to develop depression, anxiety, sleeping or eating disorders, and generally bad physical and mental health.  This is especially worse if the passed loved one was a comforting or joyful figure for your character, or someone they typically lean on/confide in.  Decreased health can lead to irritability, instability, and regression into bad habits or coping mechanisms.

They have to move on.  At some point, once the shock, the waves, the highs, the lows, and the day-to-day slump have come and gone, your character has to find a new normal.  Grief never goes away 100% – but you do go from always thinking about it to sometimes thinking about it; crying every night to crying once a month, to crying on their birthday and maybe on holidays; to being able to talk about them without crying at all; to be able to pick apart the good and the bad of their passing.  Once your character has reached acceptance, they’ve reached some sort of peace over the loss.  Some people talk or pray to their loved ones; some people lock their things away and view them once a year.  Some people believe in ghosts or heaven; some people believe in reincarnation or becoming part of the earth; some people don’t really believe in anything or don’t know what they believe.  Decide what your character believes, and how it hurts them, and how it helps them.  What is their final conclusion?

Things to Avoid:

Melodrama.  As much as it sells soap operas, it doesn’t work well for fiction – no one wants to sit through pages of characters screaming, sobbing, and falling to their knees.  Strong emotional moments should be used sparingly, and with the proper buildup beforehand.  Try not to overwhelm the reader.  While a real person’s mind may be very scattered during such a time, try to make your character’s development realistic but linear.  Forward and backward, not left to right – getting better or worse, not going through a tasting platter of emotional outbursts.  If your character does something particularly dramatic (I’m talking committing a crime, not crying into a pillow), make sure it makes sense for their character and adds to the story.

Drowning out the plot.  In real life, grieving can become a full-time job; some people spend days in bed just thinking about it, or thinking about nothing, or crying, or compulsively playing a video game or binge-watching a show to distract themselves.  But there’s no time for this in a novel.  Try to incorporate grieving into your main plot (in your case, solving the brother’s murder).  If you feel the need to dedicate a section to the dead character – e.g. a flashback, a funeral scene, a cemetery visit – tie it into the main plot’s progression.  For example, while your character is experiencing the flashback/funeral/scene, let something in that moment become a clue to the murder case.

Losing track of the arc.  While you’re writing the rest of your plot, don’t forget about your character’s grieving.  They shouldn’t always be actively mourning, as other things will preoccupy them from time to time; but keep track of their arc through the stages of grief, and try to keep their actions appropriate.  If they’ve lost their loved one in the past week, they probably won’t be jumping for joy about anything.  If it’s been years, they probably won’t sob at the mention of their name.  This can all be affected by shock, of course, but you’ll know where your character is relatively.

I hope some of this helps you to write your story as accurately and engagingly as possible, for your character.  If you have any further questions, feel free to send them in.  Until then, I hope you have a wonderful weekend :)

– Mod Joanna ♥️

If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

[cynwritess]

Writing Grief

Hey everyone, Abby here with another writing post! Today’s topic isn’t the most fun thing to talk about, per se, but there are characters in a lot of stories that end up dealing with grief. Let’s jump right in!

(Before we do, a couple of trigger warnings: death, strong emotions, mentions of pet death and cancer. All mentioned below the cut.)

What is grief?

What do you think of when you think of grief? Usually it’s things along the lines of “sadness, sorrow, pain, death,” etc. Not a fun emotion to experience, but one that most of us do at some point anyway. A quick search defined grief as “a deep sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death”. It’s the emotion that manifests as a reaction to tragedy.

Keep reading

[cynwritess]

Do you know anything about grief? If so, my character Vivian spent 6 months with a group of friends and fell in love with another character. The character he fell in love with head over heels for dies the night after they kiss. How would this grief affect active fighting ?

My grandmother on my mother’s side died when I was eleven, my father died when I was thirteen (the day after my birthday), my dog died a day before my college graduation, and my grandfather on my father’s side died from Alzheimer’s a few years ago. That’s not counting the friends and non-blood related family members who’ve died over the years.

So, yeah, I’ve got a little experience with grief, and grief counseling, and therapy, and… well, other people who’ve also lost friends and family.

I will say upfront that experience with grief can’t be faked when translating it into a fiction. You’ve either lost someone or you haven’t. You will never truly understand until you’ve experienced it yourself. And, if you haven’t, honestly, I hope you don’t join this unhappy club for a very long time.

Grief happens in stages, we consider them as five to be exact. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. There is no one size fits all here, or rules, no guidelines for the amount of time it takes because we work through it in our own time. You can and often do go through all five just to accept the physical truth someone you love has died, then all over again with the emotional fallout in the months even years afterward. It’s possible to go forward and back between the stages, and it isn’t a steady process. I’ve come to terms with a lot of the deaths in my life, but some took around a decade to reach the acceptance stage.

In initial the months after my father died, I waited to hear his car coming up the driveway at the time he usually arrived home from work (around 5:30). Anytime the doorknob turned, I’d feel a small bit of hope that it’d be him walking in. I still hope, sometimes, nearly twenty years later, that he’ll come through the door.

I tried to hold on to what he sounded like when I realized a month later I was forgetting. I managed a single word, the name of a friend’s father.

The problem with writing grief if you’ve never experienced it is this: you will over focus on the emotion and forget the detail.

Grief is not being able to remember where you live when you dial 911 for the ambulance. It’s the adrenaline leaving your hands shaking when you reach for the body, and the cold stiffness beneath your hands. The chalky white skin, and one eyelid half open. A frozen, milky, blue-white pupil pointed nowhere.  The faint, sour smell in the air.The way you shake it, and shake it, and shake it like that’ll bring the body back to life.

The way you still describe it as the body years later instead of referring to it as him and in second person instead of first.

Grief is never being able to watch Oliver and Company again.

This detail is part of why it’s so difficult to describe or write grief if you’ve never experienced the loss of a loved one first hand.You’ve also got to describe that loss through the eyes of your character, re-imagine it so the experience is not only tailored to their experiences but laser specific to those exact moments when they learned or came to the realization someone they loved died. One of the first things to understand about death in fiction is that it won’t do the work for you.

My father died a week before my first degree black belt test, and I’d just turned thirteen. I honestly can’t remember much about that week. It was Spring Break, so I didn’t have to go to school. My days were mostly filled with martial arts and emptiness. There were moments I’d remember, then grow sad or try to avoid it by focusing on what was coming ahead of me. People told me how brave I was, clapped when I came back to training a day later, but the truth is that doing that was easier than remembering what happened. I was in the shock stage all the way through the test. Numb to the world, I didn’t feel anything. Not pride, not happiness, not “oh good we’re done now”, nothing at all. It wasn’t bravery, so much as it just was. The world moved around me and the rest of it was gray.

In that moment, I became “the Girl Whose Father Died The Week Before Her Test” in the organization and everyone knew who I was for years afterwards.

However, the moment I really broke down was when I returned to class afterwards and began to cry when one of my classmates pushed a crossword onto my desk that read “Father”. I cried so hard, then I went out into the hallway and cried through the rest of the class that day.

That’s one experience, though. Like I said, there’s no one size fits all and every experience is unique. If you’ve got a character whose lost a lot of people over the years, then it does get easier.

However, if you’re writing a character who experiences death on the regular then their experience is going to be different. You could get someone who numbs themselves out to the world, defers the loss until later, and deals with it then. A person for whom “doing things” is them showing their grief. They could crumple up into a ball, give up and just cry. They could get angry to the point they want to kill the person who took their loved one and want to kill them. They could be compromised to the point of they are incapable performing their job, and need to be scrubbed from a mission for their safety and their teammates.

They could get triggered by the violence to the point where they lock up and can’t mentally face it anymore, where it becomes too much for them to handle. Sometimes, they break all the furniture in their apartment. Sometimes, they don’t clean out the other side of the closet for six years. They may get angry and lash out at those close to them who aren’t experiencing this death as keenly as they are. Or the might do it just because, without reason. They might close themselves off from everyone they know and love. Wall up out of fear of losing another person, find it difficult to build new connections. Become a different person.

Or, rarely, they could be completely fine. Or, seem like they’re fine on the surface. Others who are suffering will get pissed at them if they’re fine. When it seems like you’re fine, others will call you a monster. How dare they.

Grief is not guaranteed to get you killed in combat, but it can. It leads to stupid mistakes because you’re mentally compromised, even when you don’t realize it. We run from it sometimes. It’s so big, and heavy, and dark, crashing down all at once with no easy answers. No platitude satisfies. Numb, angry, stricken, despairing, you can move through these states so rapidly that it’s almost impossible to follow. Grief just is.

In a situation where you need to be able to focus or your life and those around you are at risk, then grief becomes detrimental. If you’re mentally compromised and refuse to recognize it then it will only put others at risk. Many people will insist they are “fine”. That it doesn’t affect them, that they can still work. It does though. It will. As a result, events can be disastrous in the fallout.

Even if they can fight, revenge isn’t satisfying. It’s empty. Grief-fueled rampages will only lead to more sadness and more emptiness and a re-experiencing of the loss all over again. Usually, it causes more tragedy.

How will your character react? I don’t know.

How does grief affect fighting, even years afterward? It can be really bad, my friend. Really goddamn bad.

You’ve got to find an equilibrium in your mind and acceptance, real acceptance too. You can’t just tell yourself you’ve accepted it, and that difference can be difficult to grasp.

Understand loss is not the cause of grief, and not death itself. We will grieve lost relationships and broken down friendships, when what we love disappears from our grasp. Don’t assume it’s in the death, look at the loss and how they feel about them being gone.

As a writer, your answer is they need to find a way to come to terms with this loss and that is a journey without an easily defined destination. I mean “come to terms” and not “get over”. Loss is with you forever, but whether we accept it or it continues to haunt us will be up to the person in question.

From me to you, here are some ways I dealt with my father’s death in my teenage years:

1) I went to counseling.

2) I read all the books of his on the shelf that I could scrounge from my parent’s bedroom, even when I didn’t like them. I still have a few of his fantasy hardbacks squirreled away.

3) I tried to play Star Wars: Tie Fighter.

4) I cried when I tried to tackle the Walkers in Rogue Squadron 2, because I’d always run to him and beg him to help me pass the level.

5) I’d go smell the shirts my mom left when she refused to clean out his side of the closet until they didn’t smell like him anymore. Then, I felt sad all over again.

6) I dedicated my open form during my second degree test to him, and picked a really sappy country song.

7) I read and re-read L.E. Modesitt Jr’s entire “Saga of Recluse” over and over again because Colors of Chaos was the first fantasy book my dad handed me to read.

8) I named my Sovereign Class ship in Star Trek Online after him.

I once sat with another student at college and we commiserated over our shared bond as members of the “Dead Parents Club”, telling stories about how our parents died and laughing about where we were now. To another student, who’d never experienced what we had, this seemed incredibly insensitive, they were confused, and they said so.

We said, “Dead Parents Club”. Then another student who’d recently lost their aunt asked if they could join us, and we expanded to members of the “Dead Relatives Club”.

It’s not all sadness and pain, misery and angst. In fact, if you go this route then it’s not really real. Much as it might seem like it on the surface, grief isn’t the same as literary angst. You need to show, not tell and that begins with actions. Start figuring out how this loss affects your character before you take a stab at how it’s affecting their ability to fight. Grief is about individuals, and there are no easy answers. Only actions, decisions, and struggle for good or ill.

-Michi

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[cynwritess]

How to write about Grief:

There is no right or wrong way to experience grief. Just as there is no right or wrong way to write it. Everyone is different, each set of circumstances are different. 

The point of this post is to show you how different people react in different ways, and give points on how you might write that, depending on your character and story.

Reactions to Grief

Numbness: Your character may go into auto-pilot and be unable to process the events that have unfolded.

Anger: This can be aimed at other people, at a Higher Being, or at nothing in particular.

Unsteady: Your characters may be unsteady. For example, unable to stop their voice from shaking or they may find it difficult to stand.

Focusing on Others: Your character may disregard their own feelings because they are so overwhelmed and instead concentrate on someone else’s well-being. 

Seek out routines: Amid upheavals, your character may seek comfort in tasks that are familiar and “safe,” such as working, cleaning, making their bed, making absurd amounts of tea or taking a morning walk.

Pretending that Everything Is Okay: Grief is viewed as an emotion that should cease or be concealed once the funeral is over. So people mention the news in an offhand comment, then talk and laugh as if all is right with the world.

Denial: Some people deny the reality of death and convince themselves that the news is a joke or can’t be true.

Reactions from people surrounding your character:

People may avoid your character as they do not know what to say or simply can’t find the right words.

Some may even go as far as to cross the street when they notice your character approaching.

Even people that the character has known for years may act strange or standoff-ish, simply because they don’t know what to say.

On the other side of that, some people may be overly helpful and friendly.

It is not uncommon for estranged friends, family or others to suddenly reappear in a person’s life after they have experienced grief. 

Either because those people want to offer their support and love  or because they’re being nosy and they want to be kept up to date on the “drama”.

Most people will move on from the event fairly quickly if they weren’t emotionally invested. 

Some people may even get annoyed at your character for still being upset weeks or months later.

When talking about the person they have lost:

Your character may recall a memory or tell a story about their loved one, these are possible reactions. (I have encountered all of them.)

Your character may being to cry or get upset at the thought of the person they have lost. 

The person they are talking to may become awkward and avert eye contact when your character brings up the person they have lost. 

Others may ask or tell your character to stop talking about the person they have lost. They may roll their eyes, cough awkwardly, or cut off your character mid sentences so that they can change the subject.

Some people may ask inappropriate questions about the circumstances in which the character’s loved one passed away. Depending on the personality of your character then may react differently. 

Other things to note:

Grief is not constrained by time. 

One of the main problems with grief in fiction is that a character is typically heartbroken for a couple scenes and then happy again. But grief does not evaporate because the world needs saving. 

Allow your character to wrestle with their grief. 

Your character may feel guilty. Your character may feel a twinge of guilt when they laugh or have a good time with someone else; when they do something to remind them that they’re alive, and their loved one isn’t. 

Grief is a game changer. A previously outgoing character may withdraw and isolate themselves. Some people may take grief and/or bereavement as a sign that life is too short; they may make big decisions in an attempt to make themselves feel better and grow away from their pain.

Sometimes grief can help you find your purpose.

At first grief can be all consuming. It hurts and you can’t really control it. It may seem unrelenting. Eventually the grief will become easier to deal with, your character may find the days to be better, but that doesn’t mean that when the grief hits it doesn’t hurt any less.

For most people, grief never really goes away. “Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be.”

It is rare that a person will ever give a long speech about their feelings, a lot of people struggle to even find the words. But that’s okay. Show the reader how your character feels, rather than just telling them.

Don’t pause the plot to deal with the aspect of grief. This could overwhelm the readers and drag the pace down. In reality, life doesn’t just stop due to grief, the world keeps spinning and things still need to be done. Use the character’s grief as a backdrop for the story’s events.  

Yes, grief affects the character’s day-to-day life, goals, and relationships. But it shouldn’t drive readers away or stagnate the story. Instead, should engage readers and produce empathy that keeps them turning pages.

You don’t need to tell your readers that everything will be fine. You don’t need to provide all of the answers.

“Skirting grief and treating it lightly is easy. But by realistically portraying it through a variety of responses and its lasting effects on the character’s life, readers will form a connection with your characters.“

[cynwritess]

hi, this is your annual psa from a kid with selective mutism (SM) on how to write mute characters :)

I cannot speak to physically mute characters, but many cases of mutism are known as selective mutism. this is a misnomer, since the mute person is not choosing not to speak, it is caused by an extreme freeze response to fear. it typically presents in early childhood, but is sometimes not diagnosed until later (for me, i was twelve).

DONT

- don’t make SELECTIVE mutism be caused by trauma. if it’s caused by trauma, it’s TRAUMATIC mutism

- don’t make the mute character fall in love and be suddenly fixed. sm doesn’t just go away, you need years of therapy and support and accommodations

- don’t make everyone understand. if you want to be realistic, teachers are going to yell at the character to speak (make sure to add tws for this!!!) and people are going to treat the character differently.

- don’t treat the character like a baby. even if someone doesn’t talk, they are still a person, and have the same intellectual capacity as you.

DO

- do your research!! i obviously can’t speak to the experiences of every mute, and i don’t want to. read other people’s stories and listen to them.

- do include the other parts of SM. it’s not just not talking, 70% of kids with SM have sensory issues, and 60% of them meet the criteria for ASD. most mute people are also traumatized from years of convincing themselves that they were too stubborn etc because that’s what everyone was telling them.

- do let your character use other methods of communication. this can mean sign language, writing notes, nodding, etc. some people with SM can’t nod or communicate otherwise when they are too anxious to talk though, so keep that in mind.

representation is really super duper important, especially for selective mutism since nobody knows what it is and the sooner a child is diagnosed the higher their chance of a full recovery. i’m always here for any questions, and i’ll never be offended so feel free to ask absolutely anything!! /srs

[cynwritess]

Any advice on writing a mute character? I have a format for when they speak with their hands. Which is using italicize. But do you have any ideas like with expressions, body language etc.

Researching how mute people navigate their lives in society is a good idea. It’ll give you some first hand knowledge and accuracy within your representation. Without it, you can only guess. However, some good questions to ask yourself are:

Does your character live in a world with sign language? If it’s a fantasy world, there’s no reason you can’t base it off existing signs. Or create your own signs that are affected by your world..

Can they write what they want to say on paper? Maybe they carry a notepad with them for more complex thoughts. 

How could they communicate using visual cues? I imagine this means a lot of pointing and exaggerated facial expressions. Even waving hands to catch people’s attention. 

What is the difference in how they communicate with accepting vs non-accepting people, as well as those that know sign and those that don’t? Are they mute or mute and deaf? 

Otherwise, it sounds like you have a good format set up. Using italics to translate and maybe punctuating with hand signs like you would dialogue tags sounds perfect. It’s definitely important to keep up the visual aspect of things.

Hope this helps :)