dadboyshiro

[dadboyshiro]

I CAN’T WATCH BOB’S BURGERS ANYMORE

R I P IN PIECES LANCE 

[dadboyshiro]

I love all those Time Travel aus, mostly because of Keith’s reactions to hot & mature Lance. Totally worth it. 

(I don’t know how to draw grown up Lance, just imagine he’s very handsome)

[dadboyshiro]

I hope all my old VLD trash pals are alright out there in your new fandoms and fixations. I've been revisiting some old VLD stuff as I get back into writing in general, and reminiscing about how much fun it was being absolutely unhinged on here with everyone. Thanks, guys, for such a rad experience 😁

[dadboyshiro]

its 2021 and im still laughing over the thought of lance pulling a muscle in his neck from dabbing too hard

[dadboyshiro]

Cleaning up some old writing stuff and found these bits of nonsense I wrote for a never-finished one-shot during the height of the Crocs-Shiro debacle

It’s not like they never have visitors. The extra seats at the dining room table serve a purpose outside of placating Shiro’s insistence that “dining room tables don’t only have two chairs, Katie,” to which Pidge had reminded him that they spent most of their time eating take-out on the living room couch. But impressing Mrs. Holt is high on the list of things Shiro takes seriously, somewhere below ensuring that Pidge is in actual bed past 2:00AM and above having a landline “just in case.”

Pidge didn’t even know they had a home phone for a good two years and the dining room table is more of an extension of her desk at this point, but whatever. The point is that they have a table, with chairs, and occasionally? People sit at it. People who aren’t them.

People who are usually Keith, or Hunk, or Lance; occasionally Coran or Allura, sometimes even Kolivan, though his presence is usually reserved for the holidays. Pidge can always tell who’s visiting by their shoes alone, something one unconsciously learns to do while spending the better half of a decade in space with a group of individuals with vastly differing tastes in fashion. So when she sees the unfamiliar pair of black Crocs lined up neatly next to Shiro’s boots in the entryway, she doesn’t know who’s in their house, but they need to leave—immediately.

-----

Lance, of course, does not disappoint.

“Please, Pidge.”

“Say it and I swear you’ll be singing falsetto for the rest of your life.”

“I – I can’t. I have to.” Lance is two seconds away from completely losing his shit. He’s talking to Pidge but his eyes are locked on Shiro’s feet as he stands at the counter, blissfully unaware as he pays for their meal.

“Let me say it, just once. Please,” Lance begs.

“No.”

“Once!”

Pidge digs her heel into his shin when Shiro makes his way back to the table.

“You wanted chocolate, right?” he asks Pidge, voice hopeful and brows furrowed.

Pidge accepts her brownie with a wavering smile. “Yeah, thanks.”

Shiro nods and takes his spot next to her. Pidge can practically feel the need to be a jackass radiating off the moron next to her. She glances at him from the corner of her eye to confirm that, yes, he is in fact about to implode.

Shiro pulls apart his donut. “You guys want to try this?” he asks, and Lance – God fucking dammit, Lance – can’t help it.

“WHAT ARE THOSE???”

[dadboyshiro]

lmfao just thought about pidge and lance having some spat over something ridiculously trivial and pidge labeling all his stuff "dumb bitch ____" so when shiro goes to grab a drink outta the fridge he pulls out a bottle of "dumb bitch juice" and he's just like ???? meanwhile 10 rooms over at the same time he hears lance shout when he goes to wash his face with "dumb bitch soap."

[dadboyshiro]

just some ice-pop paladudes

[dadboyshiro]

that “let me see what you have!” vine but it’s shiro and pidge’s kid’s running around the lab with a soldering gun

Shiro: Let me see what you have! ✔👀

Kid: A soldering gun! 😃 🏃

Shiro: NO! 😨

Pidge: Oh my god, why do they have a soldering gun 🤣😏🤐

[dadboyshiro]

NO KEITH ISN’T SECURITY, HE’S THE VICE PRESIDENT.

HOLT KOGANE 2020

where is my president pidge and white house press secretary (and secret boyfriend) shiro au though

[dadboyshiro]

where is my president pidge and white house press secretary (and secret boyfriend) shiro au though

[dadboyshiro]

in regard to the fancy restaurant shenanigans, i just found the bit of the convo where they all go to olive garden lmao

spent a good twenty minutes reading through old chat logs between katieshirogane (when will she return from the war) and i about dogboy!shiro and pidge and her being lance’s roommate and using His Good Shit on the giant filthy mutt she found when she gave him a bath and lance absolutely losing his shit but shiro’s fur being On Fleek and even when he turns into a human he still got that sheen tho and im laughing

[dadboyshiro]

OKAY HOLY FUCK I AM WATCHING THAT MOVIE AS SOON AS I AM DONE GETTING MY ASS BEAT IN OVERWATCH!!! SHIT!!!

AND I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT PIDGE HAVING TO TEACH SHIRO TO DO HUMAN STUFF AGAIN LOL. It’s just... there’s so much opportunity for hilarity. I desperately want Pidge taking Shiro out to a fancy dinner w/ her family and her just sweating the entire time bc she’s afraid Shiro’s going to go Full Dog Mode at any second (lo and behold, she returns from the bathroom to find Shiro sniffing at and eating the leftovers from an abandoned table hahaha).

I dunno what the general consensus was on how Shiro became a dog in the original convo (I don’t think we actually decided) but I know for the oneshot I’m doing, like... he was def human first. Cursed to be a dog by Haggar or some shit, like, a good decade ago or something. Why was he cursed? Still working on that. He pissed her off good somehow lol. So yeah, Shiro when he reverts back to human form is 100% Adult Human Male, just with the mind of a dog, basically, lol.

I don’t remember about Keith?? I know there was def like a harem catboy au kind of. I wouldn’t be surprised if we talked about Keith being a catboy in the dogboy shiro au though. If I didn’t already have a role for Keith I’d be tempted to throw him in, too.

holy shit i cant wait to watch this movie. this is going to FUEL ME. 

spent a good twenty minutes reading through old chat logs between katieshirogane (when will she return from the war) and i about dogboy!shiro and pidge and her being lance’s roommate and using His Good Shit on the giant filthy mutt she found when she gave him a bath and lance absolutely losing his shit but shiro’s fur being On Fleek and even when he turns into a human he still got that sheen tho and im laughing

[dadboyshiro]

I kind of actually have a bit of an outline started on it because I was planning on writing, like, a really lengthy oneshot on the dogboy Shiro au!! But I want to finish my current projects first (I totally started writing that stupid Shidge divorce April Fool’s prank idea because I have no control lol). 

Honestly dogboy Shiro will forever be the most hilarious thing to me if for no other reason than Shiro giving postman Lance an absolute run for his money. 

Also, just a random thought that occurred to me because it’s a Real Problem -- potty training a grown ass man who’s spent the last x amount of years as a dog and has not a fucking clue of how to human properly.

The afternoon after he turns human, Pidge has no idea why the hell he’s standing at the door and whining. And she’s certainly not ready when he pees on her neighbor’s bushes.

And when she comes home after an extra long day at work the next evening and steps in a lukewarm puddle on her carpet (WHILE WEARING SOCKS)???? Oh hell no.

Pidge would not be amused, and I wholeheartedly imagine she’d wrangle Hunk (or possibly Keith) to deal with the situation because she did NOT earn a PhD in computer engineering to have to babysit a grown man in fear of him shitting on her carpet!!! 

spent a good twenty minutes reading through old chat logs between katieshirogane (when will she return from the war) and i about dogboy!shiro and pidge and her being lance’s roommate and using His Good Shit on the giant filthy mutt she found when she gave him a bath and lance absolutely losing his shit but shiro’s fur being On Fleek and even when he turns into a human he still got that sheen tho and im laughing

[dadboyshiro]

*roller skates back into the shidge tag after an eight month absence carrying a 12 pack of wild cherry pepsi* rozie’s back bitch

ANYWAYS…. this is a very late submission for shidgemas! it’s for the prompt that took place on the 16th, “first”, and i decided to depict their first kiss LMAO i always saw it happening while they’re in pajamas and idk why it’s just so fitting to me

i imagine this taking place somewhere between seasons 1 and 2 where shiro and pidge have been sleeping in the same room for a while to ease their anxieties, and during one particularly emotional night pidge just GOES FOR IT without aiming, misses, and ends up passionately making out with shiro’s upper lip to which he responds by mentally blacking out LMFAO

I HOPE U LIKE IT i hope it makes up for my absence a little bit and hopefully this won’t be my only submission for shidgemas 👀👀👀 (i wouldn’t count on that tho RIP)

[dadboyshiro]

my next patreon sketch request is also my first shunk!

[do not repost to other social media]

[dadboyshiro]

Shiro’s floaty hand can do a lot of things to pidge. If you get what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

If you’re implying that his floaty hand can pick her up by the neck of her shirt like a lion cub and drag her ass into bed and tuck her in when it’s past curfew (2:00 AM) then yes, I totally get what you mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[dadboyshiro]

[Texting]

Pidge: I love you

Shiro: *fortnite dances*

Pidge: Nevermind

okay but imagine shiro just loving fortnite dance memes.

when someone (pidge) texts him something, if he likes it or agrees, he’ll respond with *fortnite dances* lmao

lance convinced him to play fortnite once and he was absolutely useless the entire match because he was too busy doing the default dance emote and so he spent the entire round cackling like a fucking idiot and now he ironically unironically loves fortnite dance memes.