dantoolsie - Tumblr blog

dantoolsie · 1 day

Text

My friend, under no influence, dictated the true history of DJ Khaled to me.

Khaled who is immortal, trained with monks for hundreds of years in Nepal They lived for a long time but not forever Khaled knows all sorts of martial arts, he hung out with Gengis Khan, Once DJ Khaled took an axe to the back and they thought he was dead so they were going to bury him but he dove into his belly Kahn wanted to gain his power but Khaled wouldn't give it, Khan imprisoned him and killed him every day trying to learn his power but Khaled escapes after learning their tactics. Without a proper leader they are never able to surpass the great wall of china and ultimately lose the war cut to 1000 years later Bieber was mad cuz dj khaled and flo rida had a show the same night Biebers body guard jokes that they should kill Khaled haha but bieber wants to for real next morning body guard finds his gun is missing, turns out his gun is missing, Bieber goes to flo ridas house kicks in the door and kills flo rida really cool dj khaled hides in the kitchen and shoots khaled in the head twice but before he dies khaled dives into his own belly he comes after Bieber who is now out of bullets but Bieber escapes cuz khaled is fat Bieber now has to tell people about khaled but any time he tries khaled shows up and prevents him In Khaled's minds eye he can see anyone who knows he is immortal, it's not just a symbolic mark, upon knowing the fact a person receives a physical mark which all immortals can see and Khaled then seeks you out to kill you Khaled wrestled under the name The Great Khaled. Khaled fought with the Turks in the Napoleonic wars. After the Battle Of Waterloo afterwards Khaled was the one who said they should exile and not kill Napoleon Khaled does not gain or lose weight, he has had the same mass for millennia. King Arthur's search for the Holy Grail was actually for Khaled, Khaled IS the Holy Grail and Khaled joined Arthur on the quest, knowing full well that HE was the grail. Dj khaled was created in Atlantis and they put the embodiment of the city into him, their fortune tellers knew that the city was going down and wanted him to carry on their legacy Khaled had a thing against poop, that's why he overthrew the poo dynasty. that's also why he won't go down on people, he was going down on emperor poo ping's daughter, he pulled down her panties and she had a poo pussy. He was upset and began collaborating with Genghis Khan to overthrow the poo dynasty. Poo ping stabbed Khaled in the heart and Khaled decapitated Ping. Thinking he was dead Khan was going to ceremonially bury Khaled at the site but he dove into his own belly and regenerated. That's how Khan found out Khaled is immortal. Steevie Nix gave Khaled a handjob, it was her last. They were talking about future games when they were writing it. Khaled asked for another HJ, he asked repeatedly to her annoyance. It ended their friendship but she kept doing it since the Khaled effect is strong in the music industry. When immortals fight they do so like regular people but the only way to kill an immortal is to split the brain into two halves down the middle, even decapitating one won't kill them and if the two halves come back together they are revived. Dj khaled has scattered brain parts across the world to be the only one left alive. That's why he's so dumb Every immortal is actually the embodiment of a lost city. they put their culture and everything into that one person. Pompeii has their own. As Atlantis was sinking, they made Khaled. The green oval (1) shows up and tells them how to fix it and Khaled goes berserk, the fight that ensues is what causes Atlantis to sink at a faster rate. paula deen is made of entirely of butter, she can be thing she wishes, she wishes paula deen The video game dynasty warriors was supposed to be about the poo dynasty but khaled wouldn't allow it. they were like halfway done and he showed up and said no, you're not allowed. The game then became about the three kingdoms there was a 4th kingdom that was the poo dynasty. (1) The Green Oval is another character created by this same friend

#dj khaled #khaled #Bieber #immortal #poo #dynasty warriors

1 note · View note

dantoolsie · 4 months

Text