daphrona

[daphrona]

This game is cursed I swear to god

[daphrona]

Transcript: "Don’t look so smug. I know what you’re thinking, but Tempest Keep was merely a setback."

Please do not spoil who the character or voice actor is in the replies or reblogs. Thank you

I am on vacation! Answers may not be posted right away--please remain patient.

[daphrona]

go my bitches

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never change RDF

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Nathanos en darktide 2

Ahora tiene un perro

AND he has a doggy...

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Arch tempered Uth Duna. Can't imagine what she's going to have that I cant just lance charge her about.

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you know the DM is wanting to move on when he accepts "Whats the difference between a dirty transit stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean!" as an answer to a puzzle.

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remember how the war within starts with us going "why is azeroth giving everyone period cramps"

are we going to have that addressed at all this expansion orrr....

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What happened in Warcraft, I haven't been keeping up since BFA was so unpleasant for me?

Oh boy where to begin. Uh not a fully comprehensive explanation but I'm not the guy who writes the Chronicles, and this is all off the dome.

Shadowlands

Sylvanas burned Teldrassil because she joined with the guy who was controlling the Lich King. Like, unironically. She thought this was a good idea.

Sylvanas helped kidnap Anduin so he'd be horribly tortured and later turned into a death knight with a mourneblade and no free will. There's an entire book about Sylvanas cryposting about how her life sucks because her mom was a little hard on her to Anduin who is taking this with an extreme amount of grace considering everything Sylvanas has done, from Teldrassil to being responsible for him being tortured.

We meet four of the one billion covenants that souls are separated into when reaching the afterlife. It's Memory Loss Angels, Undead Warband Fraternity, Vampires Sucking The Sin Out Of You, and... the nature one. I don't remember what Ardenweald does other than reborn wild gods. I think if your samsara is good you get sent back to the real world as a squirrel or something.

The guy controlling the Lich King, named the Jailer, is pissed off because his siblings, all responsible for the four covenants that are important (I guess), didn't think that a void lord that consumes planets was a big deal (I guess, we don't actually know his motivation, that's just what everyone assumes), and the Undead Warband Fraternity leader invented Domination magic specifically to lock his ass in hell until he... stopped being concerned about this? I don't know what the plan was.

The Jailer is now on a revenge arc, having used Sylvanas on Azeroth for a bunch of soul... power or something, and having joined with his Vampire brother who.... apparently agreed with him at some point but didn't argue his point? Just so he could turncoat and fuck over all his other siblings later? Oh boy I don't know if I can get through explaining this shit.

The Jailer goes to the progenitor world where everything was test drived essentially and breaks into some place with Anduin (oh by the way Sylvanas is a good person at this point, Uther gave her therapy, it's not important) because he wants to... reoriginate Azeroth? I guess?

We get Anduin back after he beats the everliving shit out of the raid only because the Jailer decided that he was going to make us watch Anduin rip his own soul out, but Anduin last minute goes "wait this shits stupid" and stops being Dominated. Unironically. No exaggerating. He thinks of his dad and then goes "no, mind control is stupid" and stops being mind controlled. We met a god earlier who couldn't do that. That god was the incarnation of warcraft in the series Warcraft.

We defeat the Jailer, Sylvanas gets awarded community service, and everyone goes home.

Dragonflight (this will be shorter)

The Dragon Isles, where the dragons used to live, have suddenly appeared again after being hidden in mists and impossible to reach. No this isn't Mists of Pandaria again its totally different now.

There were these other dragons called... primalists? primal dragons? They control like, storms, and... other storms, and earth, and fire. They're elemental dragons I guess. Anyway Alexstrasza hated their asses because they were like "Hey we don't want to be empowered by the Titans" and so they all got sent to prison for twenty thousand years. No this isn't Warcraft 3 again its totally different now.

Everyone decided that racism is bad and we're doing kumbayah shit now. Alexstrasza immediately is racist to the black dragonflight.

This entire expansion is mostly just "Alexstrasza Never Faces Consequences Ever, Even When She's Objectively Wrong In The Narrative"

Sabellian comes back from Outland with all those dragons. He and Wrathion and Ebonhorn have an interesting dynamic. That's about the only thing of interest in this expansion.

Oh god I've barely talked about the plot. Anyway all the dragons need to empower oathstones to do... something. The red flights oath is raising babies, the black flights oath is protecting people, the bronze oath is........ something. the green oath is being best friends with the centaur that live on the dragon isles (yeah they retconned centaur lore). the blue oath is "family is good."

OH right so the primal dragons--the storm one, Raszageth, broke out of prison, and is trying to break out her sister and brothers from their prisons too. she almost kills Alex at one point but decides not to because Wrathion showed up and ?????? killing in front of kids bad. Anyway we kill Raszageth but she manages to break her siblings out so everything's fucked.

Chromie sends the adventurer in the past to go break Invincible's legs in front of a child Arthas for funsies, among other insane shit. This has zero bearing on the plot.

Oh god this isn't shorter is it.

The earth primal dragon (different from the earthwarder?) Iridikron steals something from somewhere and gives it to Xal'atath before fucking off and never being seen in the plot again.

Fyrakk, the fire primal dragon, decides "you know what, I'm going to go burn down a world tree, because I fucking hate Alexstrasza." His sister, I forgot her name but she's the ice lady, doesn't really vibe with this because she and Alex were friends before Alex was like "hey I dont care if youre opposed to the titans empowering eggs without consent" and threw her ass in prison.

VYRANOTH THATS HER NAME Vyranoth leaves and goes to Alexstrasza and is basically like "Hey you were a jackass for doing this" and Alex doesnt apologize and Vyranoth goes "well you're the hero of the expansion so its fine I'm on your side now" and nothing of interest is addressed.

Fyrakk goes and attacks. I don't even remember the fucking tree. He attacks a World Tree with this cool axe he has and he and Alexstrasza have a fight where theyre both in mortal forms and it looks really fucking stupid and Fyrakk is like "oghhh dragon queen! going to die ALL ALONE!!!" and Alexstrasza looks up with a smug determination and goes "I'm not alone" and literally the most random ass assortment of racial leaders and important characters teleport in like 40 feet away, to which Fryakk, who has Alexstrasza in Axe Cleaving Range let alone Turn-Into-A-Dragon-And-Eat-Her range goes "bah! foiled again!" and leaves, not at all hindered by anyone who just came in.

We kill Fyrakk and the fucking aspects are empowered again because I GUESS Azeroth was just SO HAPPY about this that they gave them all god powers again, effectively ending the age of mortals that began with the death of Deathwing. Vyranoth is empowered to, becoming the "aspect of storms," and she sees no problem with this empowerment because "it's different from the Titan's power," which means she's either stupid or Azeroth was retconned into not being a nascent Titan anymore.

Holy fuck I hate Dragonflight more than Shadowlands

The War Within (this WILL be shorter because we've got two patches and I haven't played one of them)

Xal'atath shows up to clown, blows up Dalaran, sucks up Khadgar in her magic compass thing she got from Iridikron, and does... something. I dont know what her plan is honestly.

We go to the Isle of Dorn where earthen are and they retcon a bunch of earthen stuff and also some other dwarven lore that I just side eyed the entire time. The earthen are basically robots. Theyre kind of fucking annoying to listen to.

We meet an isolated nerubian community that are pretty fucking cool and also an Arathi Empire cult that is boring as shit because theyre a group of people deathly afraid of the dark and they live in a cave because they're stupid. The narrative will repeatedly throw in Faerin, the One Girl Who Is Brave And Smart And Strong And Who Everyone Loves And Who Is Super Accepting And NOT Racist into a story beat to make everyone go "wow you're so smart and correct Faerin"

You and Gazlowe and Renzik go to Undermine and go kill Gallywix (because he fucked off in BFA) and Renzik gets killed because his voice actor is a SAG AFTRA one that was protesting unauthorized AI voice over in video games or some such. Which is great because I definitely didn't like Renzik since BFA or anything 😐

Khadgar dies but because Anduin, who has been having a crisis of faith since Shadowlands, held a girl's hand for six seconds, he had enough mojo to resurrect him from the dead. Yeah he's now the second strongest priest in lore. Probably not a surprise since his will is stronger than the God of Warcraft's.

I missed a lot of Shadowlands' story honestly but also. I didn't miss anything you needed to know to understand the larger Warcraft narrative.

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Hardcore run still going great 👍

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the first berserker khazan is good if you want to microdose on mmo lore.

the first berserker khazan is a great story. what do you mean you asked your best friend to come to your wedding and then framed him for a coup to get arrested before the wedding. are you stupid.

[daphrona]

the first berserker khazan is a great story. what do you mean you asked your best friend to come to your wedding and then framed him for a coup to get arrested before the wedding. are you stupid.

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And also this gentleman..

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hardcore run is going great 👍

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Like I'm going to be honest if Faerin comes in and YA Protags all over the story because Blizzard decided to invent a comically racist or stupid situation for her to save the day from again, I might end up on the news. I can only take so much. Especially when they're dragging the Crusade and the Defias into this.

honestly im hitting a point where im just kind of done with wow. metzens been back for two expacs now but allegedly has no input in the story, the story that is written keeps being dogshit, the specs i like are no longer fun, the gameplay loop sucks ass, content is being recycled egregiously, and blizzard's inconsistencies with their sacred cows is pissing me off to no end.

bfa was at least fun to play. shadowlands was at least funny to laugh at. we aren't hitting either of those anymore and havent in years.

[daphrona]

honestly im hitting a point where im just kind of done with wow. metzens been back for two expacs now but allegedly has no input in the story, the story that is written keeps being dogshit, the specs i like are no longer fun, the gameplay loop sucks ass, content is being recycled egregiously, and blizzard's inconsistencies with their sacred cows is pissing me off to no end.

bfa was at least fun to play. shadowlands was at least funny to laugh at. we aren't hitting either of those anymore and havent in years.