darklingandy

[darklingandy]

when you get a stain on your pants and decide to draw over it

[darklingandy]

A persons fanfic tells you a lot about them, i , a fanfic writer, realize in terror

[darklingandy]

Hiya! I just found and binged read your Spirits of the Earth and Air fanfic. It’s absolutely brilliant! I just wanted to share my love for it with you. I already shared it with my friends because I couldn’t believe the chapters here in Tumblr had so few notes. I’ll go ahead and leave a comment in AO3 for you too!! I’m really intrigued by the world you have created, and I can’t wait to read the next chapter! I’ll keep an eye out for it for sure! Hope all is well on your side, and happy holidays!!

fuioeahfJHF THANK YOU!!!! that means a lot to me!! i’m such a slow writer and i struggle with it a lot but i love that it makes people happy.

happy holidays!!!!

[darklingandy]

Spirits of the Earth and Air

Chapter Thirty-Three: Shh. Sleep now.

Hiccup sat alone in the middle of a silent high school parking lot. He'd screamed himself hoarse, his throat raw and aching.

It was still snowing, and his shoes and pants were soaked. He sat still, breathing through his shock and the numbness that followed, shoulders slumped, snow melting further into his clothes. It was far below freezing now, but he didn't feel it. His mind was a blank white emptiness that roared silently like the static on a tv after the VHS has run out of tape.

What am I going to do? he kept thinking, over and over to himself. Jack, Astrid, Toothless—they were all gone. The only person he might have left was his dad. Pitch had sworn to release Stoick from the shadows, hadn't he? And faeries couldn't lie.

…but faeries could find loopholes, and Pitch hadn't said anything about alive.

It was a long time before Hiccup finally managed a shuddering breath and forced himself to move. His limbs were stiff with the cold and disuse. He moved to wipe a snowflake off his face and discovered that he'd been crying at some point; the tears had dried into thin tracks of ice that flaked off his cheeks where his hand brushed them.

He drove Astrid's car to his own house, still numb.

The door opened with a long slow creak. Shadows fled at his approach as he moved one boot across the threshold. Hiccup barely heard them go. His eyes were fixed on a single point ahead of him.

A hand was splayed across the kitchen floor. It was stiff and unmoving like a dead rodent.

Hiccup's knees hit the floor in the kitchen of his childhood home. He looked down at his dad's body; it was stretched out in front of him, its eyes closed as though sleeping. There was a strange and distant keening noise, and after a long long time, Hiccup realized it was coming out of his own throat.

He grew silent.

He never meant for things to get this out of hand. He never meant for anything to go this far. He just wanted… he didn't know what he wanted. Not this.

He curled up next to the body on the hard laminate floor. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I did this. I did. I didn't mean to." He found the whole story coming out of him; he couldn't stop himself from talking between sobs. "It's real, it was all always real," he croaked, his voice thick. "There was this faery… this boy. He started following me weeks ago. I've always pretended that I couldn't see them, I just wanted my life to be as easy as possible… but Jack, he… he managed to distract me. He's…"

Thinking about Jack hurt, but he couldn't seem to make himself stop talking. He talked about Jack, then about dragging Astrid into his problems, about the wild hunt, the court, Pitch, the truth about his mother. He spend much longer talked than he would have expected; it felt like so much had happened to him, so much had changed since the last time he'd really talked to his dad, there was a lot to unload.

"And now he's gone," he said at last. "Everything is gone."

The noise that spilled from Hiccup's throat was a whimper like a wounded animal. He curled up over his father's body, forehead pressed to the still chest.

When he was a child and his mom, Val, had vanished, his father had spent a year looking for her, waiting for her to come home, but Hiccup had known—somehow, deep down—that she was never coming back. He'd felt it from the very beginning, from the moment he'd woken up on November first and come down the stairs to an empty house. A corresponding emptiness had opened up inside him, and he'd felt the weight of being a little more alone in the world settle into his chest.

His father hadn't accepted it so quickly. When Hiccup came into his parents' room that night, sniffling, choked up with tears and aching, Stoick had sent him back to his own room, saying he was being silly, Mom would be back soon. It was almost a week before Hiccup had done it again, creeping into the room when he thought his dad was asleep and crawling into his mom's side of the bed, hoping somehow it would feel like her.

It didn't. It was cold.

Stoick hadn't been asleep, either. When a weak sob escaped Hiccup, he stirred and Hiccup froze, going silent, afraid to be sent away again.

"Oh my boy," said Stoick, holding out his arm for Hiccup. His voice was half-sleepy, half-sad for his son. "Come here."

Hiccup clambered into his dad's embrace eagerly, and Stoick curled his arm around him and said, "Don't worry, we'll find her. Get some sleep."

For the year that Stoick looked for Val, waited for her, watched the news every morning and night, it became a habit. Every night Hiccup—face damp, tiny body trembling—would creep into bed with his dad and slowly fall asleep like that: fingers clinging to Stoick's ratty old t-shirt, curled up against his side in a tiny ball like a wounded kitten, comforted by the heavy weight of his dad's arm across his shoulders.

That was how he fell asleep now: in the cold empty kitchen, on the hard floor, he finally drifted off curled up tight against the mass of Stoick's still-warm body.

[darklingandy]

i have such good friends. i locked my keys in my car last night at work -- including my apartment key -- when i was supposed to have them come over after work. one started messaging me, and then messaging some other people, and then what happened was, the friend closing with me put me in his car, took me to a bar where we met two other friends, then took us all to mcdonald’s and then one of their houses, where yet another friend met us with pajamas for me and most of us spent the night there

[darklingandy]

you’ve heard of ‘Death of the Author’

and even ‘The Author is Dead to Me’

now get ready for ‘I, The Author, Am Killing Myself’ a trope in which i shovel a bunch of words onto a page and leave it for the readers to figure out what the hell it means

[darklingandy]

technically your body is a loan

[darklingandy]

i do loves me a woman who is just a little bit feral

[darklingandy]

UGH.

I’ve been dealing with another episode of CVS this week which fucking sucks. I always hate when I have to keep calling off work this much (even though I know all the managers like me and there’s no way I’m getting fired, one of the managers is like my mom and she’s basically told me I’m never allowed to quit) because I feel like I’m letting my coworkers down.

And besides that, spending this much time alone is never good for my mental health. I’ve gotten much better at handling it than I used to be (mostly this week I’ve just thrown myself into fandom) but I still dip into a low energy period and spend the week feeling hopeless.

[darklingandy]

I did it and now i’m having fun setting it up

It was overdue.

I reblog so much merlin content on my other blog, I might as well create a separate blog for it

[darklingandy]

I reblog so much merlin content on my other blog, I might as well create a separate blog for it

[darklingandy]

servers should be allowed to refuse service to people they know don’t tip

[darklingandy]

both my grandmother and mother, who take every opportunity to tell me what to do even though I’m a goddamn adult and they’re not even a part of my life:

“YouU NEeD tO StOp VApIng It’S TeRRIblE FOr YoUUU!!!!!!” *sends me an article full of bad/nonexistent information*

me, a person who switched from vaping to smoking weed a while ago anyway and was only vaping cbd for my anxiety in the first place:

[darklingandy]

UGH

I’m scheduled for full shifts the next three days. I’m going to be exhausted. I have those triple-shot starbucks things stocked up so I can seem alive, but like...I’m gonna die. 

[darklingandy]

I often miss the deep forests of Northern California, but...I was never happy in that state.

[darklingandy]

holy fuck i have not posted anything on this blog in three fucking months????

i need to get my shit together

……my bad

[darklingandy]

Do you know where I can watch the Howl’s Moving Castle movie? I can’t seem to find it and I’m sad to say I’m almost 21 and have yet to see a Studio Ghibli movie

Unfortunately I have no idea. I can’t even find it on netflix or prime. :[