darlingkara - Tumblr blog

darlingkara · 1 month

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Looks like nothing changed.

One thing did.

They can now buy tokens for 6.99 USD for 70 tokens instead of 100 for 10.99. Nevermind me and my ''Go along now, sweetie... If I am so AMAZING, prove it and take your ass to Walmart and buy a Green Dot prepaid credit card for less than 7 bucks''.

They leave. Oh damn. I wasn't as amazing a cheap coffee date afterall, lol. LOLOL. Tricked me! Eye roll.

Leave out breadcrumbs as in the 6.99, and expect rats and roaches. Economically speaking... This is not a good sign at all.

Oh, they think--if I compliment her enough, I will get free shit!

Delusional man children. No wonder why you're... Yeah.

Btw, not all guys are. 10% are solid and normal. 40% need INTENSIVE therapy. The other 50% are fucking zombies. Don't talk, tip, read, use volume. They Think we will not notice them... and that we do not have feelings?

It was not like this. I am pretty sure its mostly or kinda due to Covid meets too much of the world wants a strongman dictator. Idiotic humans. Dumb, dumb zombies...

We barely had an average of 85 IQ before. Now we are looking at 75, 10 less.

I am no genius, but I am sooooo tired of the slow kids. Always have been. Now they're adults. And this is will full ignorance. You can learn anything... Instead you lurk at women and say zilch. They must owe ya. Pfffft.

Oh, come on asteroid.

Shit I really wanna say/write, etc. Roommate said nope..

And she's right. So here's I put in a Notepad one night after camming. Room Rules & My Bio & "that's not nice, who'd want to talk to you?'. Lol. That's absolutely correct. No one.

Am I bitch? I don't think so. I feel soooo unappreciated... like "why bother". There was a fucking wildebeest, with three teeth, at 540p doing better than I was. Like HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN? IDK her likely cheap as fuck tip menu prices, didn't watch or listen, or stay for longer than a minute.

And well... it hurt my feelings, physically and mentally. A shit load. I cried. I'm not 20, hot, blah blah, so I'm not comparing myself to the "top" page. I'm neurotic and not naked (for free) and I've come to realize that men don't read ANYTHING in your bio, are lazy, entitled, don't care what a 5 or less ,(I LOATHE those rankings, btw) looks like. Just how cheap can they do X or Y.

So I raged on notepad. Here it is. Typos & html & all. (No, it is not up. But DAMN it felt good to write.):

Bitchy Bio and Room Rules

ROOM RULES: Don't be creepy, aggressive, or be a cheap jerk. Nothing is free, not even a PM. Everything in life, including camming, costs something. Ya know, just like in real life! :) You are killing my libido, fr, fr, Not cool.

DO read the bio. Say hello. 5 to 10 mins max of looking around before saying hello is normal. After that, you're a weirdo, imo if you don't talk or tip. Or perhaps you left a browser opened. IDK.

If you never intend to talk or tip, I *HIGHLY* suggest you find another room, or really, just go look at porn. Porn expects nothing of you. I, and all cam gals and boys, expect at the very least a hello and maybe, hopefully a few bucks. I appreciate others' time and effort, and if you cannot or do not appreciate mine, plz leave.

I like weird and quirky people, who are interesting. All humans are interesting! I love humans who care about other humans. I love talking to new people. It's refreshing.

There is beauty in decay. The people who hate the most need love the most.

BIO:<!DOCTYPE html> <html> <body>

Howdy! I am Kara! I like pretty much all music, cooking, photography, travelling, hiking, rappelling, Osint, Geosint, HUMIT, naps, documentaries, geopolitics, making bad art, mashed potatoes, and DIY thangs. I am forever curious.

This is me: https://youtu.be/o5IZuuzUa04?feature=shared

I am a part-time student (Ethics of Econ, Political Sci & Foreign Relations), a part-time camgirl, a part-time IT worker, and a full-time goofball. :) Weird, eh? :)

I am happiest when viewers, you guys, sometimes even non-token holders/greys participate with me while I am broadcasting. Chat, tip and have fun! Literally just say, "Hi, how was your day?'' and all is good.

Please don't be shy, as I love getting to know the people & people who enjoy my work!

I.e., this is not a lurk and jerk room. This will be not very ''nice'' to hear, but it is the truth. Listen up and heed warnings: You will be booted for 45 days after a specific time frame or X entrances without a hello or a 1 token tip. Why visit a room 20-50 times but never say hi or tip 1 token? You can type, "I got shitty internet, I am not a weirdo" in FREE CHAT and it would probably be legit and you would be fine. Or just browse as anonymous. How stupid are you?!

I know I sound a bit peeved. And I am. I am apretty nice person, and I'm easy to get along with. I am human. I get upset, obviously when my boundaries are tested and my rules are disregarded, just as you would.

And to be COMPLETELY HONEST, without holding back:

... I am just gonna say it.

TTORGTFO. [TALK, Tip, or get the fuck out] The ''mmmms, bb's, open this body part, show that, blah, blah, I am stroking'' that are NOT in tip notes... FYI, these are auto- blocked/not visible to anyone, so do not bother sending them. Anything idiotic, like ''PM me for THIS ridic reason, when I won't spend a Dime in a tip note"-- It's absurd to me. No one gets special attention. Sure, there are a FEW that have been around long enough, who get a free song request or free/longer flash. Why? They chatted, joked, added substance and are enjoyable. They never said ''PM ME BB, I am 22 with a 6 pack''. I give ZERO shits. But I am gracious, grateful for chat and reward awesome people. I realize I don't sound like it at all right now...

Pms are 301 tokens because if you want 1 on 1 attention:

1) It costs you 30 bucks (I only get $15, and potentially lose out on a Moby Dick, but do not worry-- your ego will survive...) and bc 2) CB charges you 200 tokens to be a (usually fake) purple to PM whomever you want, UNSOLICITED. So it is an extra 101 tokens to PM ME and get replies (for 20 mins), because I never agreed to that. We do not get a sliver of a penny from Memberships. You can fool newbies & third world country" cammers with this. You're goddamn cheap predators.

Btw, If most of you ASKED me in a 50 tkn tip note to PM you, I probably would. So that free DM you sent me? Yeah, not gonna open it or respond, bc that ''free'' unsolicited DM is now WAY more tokens than if you had followed the rules or looked it up by typing /tipmenu. And I'm going to HATE whatever you type. It'd never happen, lol..

If you DM me without a tip, OR send me a share cam request or pic without a tip, you will be auto silenced. The unsilence fee is 300 tokens (no one can tell you are silenced, btw, so if that is your kink, tough luck, idiot). And then... You have to pay an unsilence fee PLUS the original c2c or PM cost.

BTW, I actually LOVE LOOKING AT CAMS and seeing you guys. My c22 is quite cheap at 129 tokens. 129 tokens vs 429 tokens? Please do the math. Be a gentleman. Stop acting dumb, rude, entitled. I don't depend on you for shit..

Looking at your cam is 129 tokens. I do not care if you are the world's number one fucking male supermodel. My rules are my rules and my boundaries are my boundaries. There are THOUSANDS of other rooms, and there are people who rely on this for income (consensual or not), and while they might fall for your dumb cheap ass games (I did my first week. Pm you? Sure!... How dumb we all begin...) and you use this "hi beautiful, pm me plz?" as a on rouse others into free dirty talk, I will not.

I MAY HAVE SEEN 5 tokens from those fucking pms the first week. Assholes..

I broadcast when I am actually horny and wanna flirt/meet, get to know people.

I KNOW that I seem ''bitchy or mean'', btw. I am neither of those. All I ask is for you to not lurk, not waste my time, or think that you are special (no one is). I am actually pretty generous and kind. I believe and know that most people are great, actually.

Respect my time, my energy and effort. I promise to do exactly the same for you. Really.

Type /tipmenu in the chat box at any time to see my tip menu, and if you have any requests. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

</body> </html

I don't currently have a schedule and I'm no longer currently doing Snapchat or Discord (Midterms, randos calling me at 3 AM, ya know).... ... so catch me while I'm here!

Consider joining my Fanclub! You get 10% off of all tip menu items, a special icon in chat, a video below, a new picture set, and a SECRET tip menu! It's only &7.99/70-80 tokens, so almost as much or less than my flashes! You will get a free flash of your choice with every show, as well as discounted private shows (60 tkns/min for only 5 minutes), and 1 free song request per show if you would like. It is *seriously* the best deal, even if you don't plan on keeping it. You can cancel at anytime/per month.

1) If you consider buying tokens, please, please get them trough my CB affiliate link, so that I can get a 20% bonus, instead of those effing pop up porn sites. Yep, I will get to keep 7 outta 10 tokens instead of the average 5 tokens. It's anonymous and will help me greatly!!! :)

2) CB sometimes won't let me type my affiliate link here. :(

So my affiliate link is in the SCAN ME QR code above, in the the middle of my Pics set. (Maybe if you go to view source you will see it. Look for the word campaign-- It should or could be here: https://chaturbate.com/in/?tour=hr8m&campaign=kkZbU&track=default)

3) BUT please use incognito mode OR clear your cookies before making a new account. Put next or door or KND or something like that in your CB handle/name and if you buy tokens and become blue (50 tkns for only $5.99 & 7 ways to pay!) I will give you a free flash!. That is cheaper than a regular flash! It is a win/win for both of us! The QR code will take you back to CBs main website/the top room, but I will get the bonus, not the porno site you likely found me or CB on. :).

Sign up to broadcast yourself!: Click the T-Rex QR code called SCAN ME. https://chaturbate.com/in/?tour=NwNd&campaign=kkZbU&track=default

<html> <body> Buy tokens: (after scanning the QR code above, of course!) https://chaturbate.com/tipping/purchase_tokens/?source=TokenSourceUserInfoPanel <html> <body>

Links to stuff such as vids, blog, Wishlists,etc.:

* https://allmylinks.com/kara-next-door * https://linktr.ee/kara_next_door * https://throne.com/karadarling--- Feel free to buy me lunch or add your own gift. :) I am not materialistic, but I love lotion and free time! * My Blog: https://www.tumblr.com/darlingkara * My NSFW Twitter handle is new and it's @kara_next_door. I just announce I am online and sometimes throw up a sexy pic. The SFW handle is available upon request. The SFW one has way more followers, and I am much more active on it. Buuut... some of them are professionals/well-known writers/journalists, so I don't wanna spam them with ''I'm online now, flashing my boobs and stuff!'', ya know? 🤣

/end.

So, I guess I look into chalkboards & get mean & teach people lessons on manners (and grammar, too, ffs). Kara Next Door ain't got the patience for your cheap ass. What's worse is I don't even wanna KNOW how you treat, deceive & mistreat desperate people.

Something something the tamer. You're animals. And like 70% of you suck.

#chaturbate #camgirl #Bitchy #male entitlement

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darlingkara · 1 month

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Light blues can't change their color (they spent 10 bucks 8 years ago but can still chat…)

''Supporters'' CAN change their color from dark purple (with zero tokens, keep in mind) to light blue to be a lil' more honest, in an instant. But they never do. (They will however send you dick pics, dumb DMS-- Always copy pasta, too, year after year. Same ones. It is uncanny… and unsolicited and denied c2c requests. Great guys, eh? Fuck 'em.

Have no tokens? You should be grey, regardless. Whoops-- They should be MADE grey by the powers that be. It'll never happen. That light blue who spent 10 bucks 8 years ago? He has no tokens but remains a light blue. He can talk in all rooms.

Well, ya see, his ego is more important than other people's time and effort. And self-esteem.

JUST imagine what the motherfucking $20 buck month supporter chucklefucks get away with, especially in so-called third world countries. Many women there do not know you can sort people by tokens. Half pf purples are token less. They are GREY. Among the dipshits who DM you, share their cam or send dick pics- I have yet to see one with more than 50 tokens.

They are predators. Absolutely disgusting, and lack no regard for others' time or if they even eat. Sick fucks. Karma If you're listening...

This was the nicest version I wrote.

#chaturbate #fake purples #male entitlement

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darlingkara · 10 months

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I am online right now. I have never blogged or even looked at my phone while broadcasting.

But today I say fuck it. No one talks anyways and when they do, they are just dump. I was GASLIT today.

So now I am just going to do a tip to talk to me. Zero fucks given.

I am exploring my asexuality, hahahahahaa....

#ha

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darlingkara · 10 months

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TGIF! I will be on Chaturbate in about 20 mins! No account? No problem! Use my affiliated link!

https://chaturbate.com/?join_overlay=1&tour=LQps&campaign=kkZbU&room=kara_next_door&disable_sound=1

My direct room link is Chaturbate.com/Kara_Next_Door (But sign up first with the link above-- it is free!)

#e girl #camgirl #chaturbate #thinking thots

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darlingkara · 11 months

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I am up at an odd hour again!

I have class later today, so I did some chores and spiffed up my Chaturbate bio. It is not perfect-- my HTML skills are getting rusty!

I finally had two pretty good days on CB. So no ranting today, yay! It literally is like fishing (if the people fishing near you said weirdo things, like, "Mmmm, mommy, diaper and say my name, ****". ), sigh

I have all of those words blocked out. I have beautiful blocked out. No one, in six years, has called me beautiful and tipped me. Sometimes I joke and say, hmm, maybe what that's what I will tell the electric company when I pay the bill.

"Hey, electric company, you're so beautiful and hot." Lol. I don't think the users get the joke, but it makes me laugh.

I went to see a play on Monday... It was hilarious.

The next one isn't until January, bwhaaa :( .

I had a Frasier and Niles Crain moment upon realizing this. There ARE three plays which I cannot attend-- for Members! So I thought, well, how much could it be?! How dare they exclude me! Haha. I looked it up and it is ''only'' about $200 more per person, but I am not sure if that includes the plays or not.

I am too busy anyways... I LOVE my classes, but classes, homework, plus camming plus my IT job plus daily chores, cooking, etc... It is enough. And I am single! I DO cook and freeze in bathes, so that is easier!

My mom sent me am early Xmas and bday package, but it's at the post office and the slip in my mailbox says I owe $5? Strange. So that will be todays/tomorrows little adventure as well.

Speaking of Xmas... I don't have many people to buy for, but the ones I do have are extremely difficult to buy for. Aye aye aye.

Til next time...

#e girl #chaturbate #xmas #theatre #post office #thot #fishing

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darlingkara · 11 months

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i love these aliens.

I'd rather not have ties to people who believe in zombies and talking snakes. In 2023. They're fucking bonkers or too scared to day they know it's bullshit.

Nope, those people can stay far away from me!

“I feel myself to be an alien in the world. If you have no ties to either mankind or to God, then you are an alien.”

— Ludwig Wittgenstein, Nachlass, MS 135 (28 July 1947)

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darlingkara · 11 months

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Shit I really wanna say/write, etc. Roommate said nope..

And she's right. So here's I put in a Notepad one night after camming. Room Rules & My Bio & "that's not nice, who'd want to talk to you?'. Lol. That's absolutely correct. No one.

So I raged on notepad. Here it is. Typos & html & all. (No, it is not up. But DAMN it felt good to write.):

Bitchy Bio and Room Rules

DO read the bio. Say hello. 5 to 10 mins max of looking around before saying hello is normal. After that, you're a weirdo, imo if you don't talk or tip. Or perhaps you left a browser opened. IDK.

I like weird and quirky people, who are interesting. All humans are interesting! I love humans who care about other humans. I love talking to new people. It's refreshing.

There is beauty in decay. The people who hate the most need love the most.

BIO:<!DOCTYPE html> <html> <body>

This is me: https://youtu.be/o5IZuuzUa04?feature=shared

I am a part-time student (Ethics of Econ, Political Sci & Foreign Relations), a part-time camgirl, a part-time IT worker, and a full-time goofball. :) Weird, eh? :)

Please don't be shy, as I love getting to know the people & people who enjoy my work!

And to be COMPLETELY HONEST, without holding back:

... I am just gonna say it.

Pms are 301 tokens because if you want 1 on 1 attention:

I MAY HAVE SEEN 5 tokens from those fucking pms the first week. Assholes..

I broadcast when I am actually horny and wanna flirt/meet, get to know people.

Respect my time, my energy and effort. I promise to do exactly the same for you. Really.

Type /tipmenu in the chat box at any time to see my tip menu, and if you have any requests. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

</body> </html

I don't currently have a schedule and I'm no longer currently doing Snapchat or Discord (Midterms, randos calling me at 3 AM, ya know).... ... so catch me while I'm here!

2) CB sometimes won't let me type my affiliate link here. :(

Sign up to broadcast yourself!: Click the T-Rex QR code called SCAN ME. https://chaturbate.com/in/?tour=NwNd&campaign=kkZbU&track=default

<html> <body> Buy tokens: (after scanning the QR code above, of course!) https://chaturbate.com/tipping/purchase_tokens/?source=TokenSourceUserInfoPanel <html> <body>

Links to stuff such as vids, blog, Wishlists,etc.:

/end.

Something something the tamer. You're animals. And like 70% of you suck.

#camgirl #Bitchy

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darlingkara · 11 months

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I decided to code and do IT work... I had a little nap, too. As soon as I finish making dinner (odd hour), I will probably go online.

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darlingkara · 11 months

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boobs are okay on Tumblr now (again)?

Bettie Page Colorized Image

#Boobs Morality Police

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darlingkara · 1 year

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These post class naps, grr, haha.

They're messing up my "cam schedule".

Not like I have one, and I'm not sure it matters.

Chaturbate has gotten worse & worse. More explicit (no judgement from me, buuuut...)

I can't compete with women in third world countries, flashing (or just starting out with, FFS) their meow meow open. I'm sorry for them, but then again, I'd love to have a sit down convo explaining flooding and devaluing the pussy market.

Just a rant. I couldn't get a package I ordered, it's sitting in a pick up box but I didn't get a QR code, and no one's responding to my emails. Plus last night I was on CB for about 10 hours total. And uhh... Not good, not good.

Time for a new site?

I don't like to code all the time, I get weird & antisocial & agoraphobic creeps in.

Sigh, sigh, sigh. Thx for listening!

#chaturbate #Naps #camming

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darlingkara · 1 year

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Nevermind the loose dirt. It's my 99 cent grocery store plant rescue that I am trying to save via better soil/re-potting and with bread ties, and my little tiny espresso. The stems were brown when I got it, but I don't think she is gonna make it. Taken a few days ago, but seemed like good photo for this post.

I woke up WAY too early. Again. I either stay awake for like 25 hours, and sleep 8, or the usual 16 hours and sleep about 4 hours. I have had 3 sleep lab tests done (albeit years and years ago) when I kept falling asleep. This was before I had this weird habit I have now. I slept normally back then. Diagnosis: Narcolepsy and non-24 hour sleep cycle (Circadian Rhythm Disorder?). I was a bit blown back, to be honest, especially by Narcolepsy. And guess what? The MD had to report it to the DMV, if I did not. If you have a driver's license, it is stated on it AND you have to be medicated while driving. The medicine was Dexedrine, or pretty much @mphetamine. Makes sense-- Can't be falling asleep while driving. I stayed awake, and my depression lifted. Any MD's reading this-- Please consider it for treatment resistant depression. I never felt hyper on it (I felt nothing, tbh) which would of course, lead me to being diagnosed with ADHD*.

So now, I am an unmedicated ADHD and sleep disorder gal of a mess, hahaha. But I am happy, or at least content. I think it has gotten better, or I have learned how to deal with it. I could not do now what I did in my unmedicated 20's-- Full time school, full time job and a kid. Nope. I have ZERO idea how I did it. The narcolepsy mostly went away. I WILL fall asleep at the theatre, so don't bother inviting me, especially in Plague Era that 99% of people refuse to admit still exists. And it is 50/50 in any dark situation, regardless of how well rested I am.

Luckily, I can now work when I want (other than 2 days a month), and do not have to drive. I do have to set an alarm for three days out of the week for class (it is used as a take a shower and get ready alert bc I keep waking up before it, lol), but luckily it isn't early. I LOVED driving, btw, and I loved cars. But as an American, what else are you supposed to do? Tangent, but... I would re-do SO much in the USA if given the chance. Like...Public transport and social housing. These are looked down upon in the US, which makes it seem SOOOOO odd to me now. Plus the whole gun thang. Sorry, but I will never change my mind. The 2nd Amendment was written for MUSKETS. We have drones now. If you feel the need to open carry a weapon of death to the grocery store, there is something wrong with you. Sorry, not sorry.

I am not exactly against hunting (if you do it for food, not sport). When I was about 12, we moved** to a mostly hillbilly area (not making fun of them-- I mostly like them dern hillbillies, and one of my BF'S was one since I was TWELVE... Though I have not been able to find her since 2021 or early 2022. Covid or went Trump, I do not know. I will continue my search. Her having the most generic name in the English speaking world does not help)). And well, my first look at hunting was not pretty. Dead deer legs, sticking out of truck beds. Like, everywhere. People told me this was normal. I literally vomited and remember thinking and saying, out loud at lunch, ''The fuck, this is NOT normal. Throw a TARP over it, for Christ's sake.''

*Btw, girls and women are SO good at hiding ADHD. We are typically not hyper or rowdy. If we are, it is within our safe spaces, with friends. If your sister/mom/gf/wife tends to forget things you have told her, seems unorganized or stressed over little things, gets bitchy before leaving the house with you, look into it first and do not get upset.

**I was not an Army Brat, but my family did move a lot (6 times, to different states), and it was not because of financial instability. Yes, my parents worked for the government, but not in any military way. So--I learned a new term-- TCK-- Third Culture Kid (also applies to adults). We are GREAT at fitting in anywhere, more empathetic, less racist (bc sometimes, even being white, people are racist if you are the minority. Trust me, I know personally, and it was horrible), tend to attend university more (not saying all should).. But of course there is a catch.

We probably have attachment disorders on all sides. I didn't get the overly attachment type, luckily. If anything, I need help attaching. And I do not have ''the itch'' to move. As an adult, I rented the perfect house for me and my minion at the time. Great school district, fenced in (by chicken wire on one side for most of the time) backyard, walkable to the downtown area in 3 mins, and I was allowed to plant a garden and paint, etc. I did have to mow the effing backyard when my weirdo neighbor went away every summer. Fucker never told me when he was leaving, but the grass length did. I lined the fences with gladiolas and ivy and had a gas BBQ and a nice table and umbrella. I would let my kitties out every now and then, but only when I was there-- they could escape if they wanted to. One was a serial killer, not even kidding. A Persian, fluffy, serial killer. I got minion*** a slip and slide, hahahaha... We threw some pretty good backyard parties. All of my neighbors were snobs. Like Harvard asshole snobbery. Anyway, I lived there the longest-- almost 11 years. My landlord wanted to sell it, and it was sold within about a month and a half. THAT SUCKED and was not expected... Thought I had about 5 or 6 months.

I had to go live with my mother, as she lived in the school district minion was in. Worst decision of my life. I love my mother, and she was really a great mother, but something went CRAZY in 2002 and again in 2014, that I am not yet capable of discussing on a public forum. Thinking of substack. Like a $4 a month thing. This is shit that horribly affected my life, and I needed therapy for-- as an adult. Shit that when I think about, even 8 years later, I still tear up. And I am NOT a cryer. As a mother, she was awesome! She told me to avoid beauty magazines, taught me how to plumb and do home repair, said chose your religion when you are an adult if you want to, and sooooo much more. My father was really great, as well. They stayed married for FAR too long. I think I was about 25 when they got divorced, but it was over my mom being selfish with her health insurance and cutting my dad off. He had a disabling heart attack when he was 42, and died in 2007. My mom cutting off his health insurance was fucking brutal.

The dude was ALWAYS on my side. So, I still say hello from time to time to my mother. Most importantly, I talk to minion, but he is busy working and crushing on some girl, his best friend's girl. They work together and he hates his job. He is waiting for her to give the okay for them to both leave and work somewhere else. I said DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE--- EVER!!! He sent me a pic of her and said that sometimes she drinks too much and gets sexual. I was like OMG.

She looks like me and that is what I did when I was younger. Freud, are you out there? It's me, Kara.

And I have lived here the second longest.

And I want to die and be buried here. Every year, there is a free concert, ranging from classical music to rock music, held at the cemetery.

5-30K people can come listen to music, drink a bit, dance, and have fun. That the cemetery I would like to be buried in.

If that is morbid to you, you are not invited. :)

***Minion is now an adult. I am not worried about his financial future (everyone born after The Boomers got fucked, let's be honest)because luckily, I am a Black Sheep, and he will get my inheritance. Good for him! Since I am 34-99 years old (haha), I will not tell you how old he is. Yes, I was married and he was planned. I was TOO young-- but when your spouse made $80k a year in the early 2000s, you figure, nice, I will just raise minion, and then finish school. That did not happen the way I had it planned. The ex husband is still wealthy and lucky, and it pisses me off. If you knew the full story, you would understand. Let's just say that one brutal character mentioned in today's blog had a lot to do with it, including my parent's divorce. I swear it is not some Jerry Springer shit, and they did NOT bang, and luckily, my father and I were together when we found ''the letters''. The Brutal one would end up doing MUCH worse things than having feelings for her daughter's husband, and yeah-- it is personal.

Life is 50% unplannable. I do believe in luck, and I do believe in you get what you give, although I LOATHE woo woo pseudoscience bullshit.

I will NOT be camming tonight. My theatre thing begins tonight. It is only once a month. Last week, I couldn't have a schedule because I still have periods, which are very predictable, but this every 18 days shit is a bit new. Usually its every 25 days, abnormal is under 23 days in between periods. Went to the dr, had hormone levels taken. Good news-- I am NOT an alien. Bad news is that the tests prove pretty much nothing. I am having about 5 more periods a year than normal-- so about half the year. Great. Of course I now have to a dailytake high-ish dose iron supplements. I believe I have peri or pre-menopause which literally NO ONE talks about, yet it affects HALF of the population. And pre or peri-menopause is WORSE than menopause. Menopause is easy street, so I have learned. Some days I am nice and patient, other days I want to bite your face off. Sometimes I am horny, sometimes I seem asexual. When my roommate/ex bf of like 12 years (No, we do not bang and maybe once a month I fall asleep in his room watching a movie), DARES to shut MY room's window or turn off MY fan, especially if I am sleeping and wake up hot, I am literally thinking:

''I could kill you, and if half the jurors were women 35+, it would be an excusable homicide.'' I am not a violent person at all, btw, in any way or sense. I am learning as I go along. Surprise, surprise, there is not a whole lot of research on it. Reddit's Menopause has been a Godsend.

In the one racist area I lived in, I was ''jumped'' by 3 or 4 girls who basically PLAN attacked me, outta the blue. I won. All almost 5 feet of me. I learned about adrenaline and JFC, I get strong and mean if I think I am gonna die. I kicked dirt into their eyes and kicked their throats. How fucked up is that? I was maybe 11 years old. I did not and do not know how to fight. Is is something instinctual? I have no idea and too many research topics as it is. All I knew was that there were three of them, one of me, and they were larger and taller than I was.

Anyway, off to shower and go to my classes. Idk if I will cam after the theatre or not.

And you would not believe what I found when I took out the garbage, shortly after writing this (within the hour). It is not a popular name here, afaik. I will post it on Twitter @DarlingKara.

#tck #narcissistic abuse #fights #jerry springer #e girl #perimenopause #amy

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darlingkara · 1 year

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I decided to code and do IT work... I had a little nap, too. As soon as I finish making dinner (odd hour), I will probably go online.

#e girl #philosophy #camgirl

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darlingkara · 1 year

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Last weekend of being free, ZOMBIE members, and a reply to a commenter...

Last weekend was my last free weekend! Goodbye mostly lazy summer! I frankly hate summer heat, haha, but I did get a lot of home repair work done, read a lot, and went on vacation. And I worked way more at my IT job instead of camming. That isn't a positive or negative.

My two classes start on Wednesday. So they'll be on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I plan on also camming on those days + a weekend day. We will see! I am not sure about the time-- I would *guess* 9 AM EST, 2 pm UK, and 3 pm CET. I have the syllabuses (spelling? Seems like it should be syllabi, haha) already and it does not seem like there is much ''homework'' to do. And it only takes me about 15-25 mins to get there.

The classes will be mostly lectures and paper writing. I actually enjoy both! And I can write purdy swell school papers, and rather quickly at that. Thank goodness I am of the AIM generation, hahahaha. Although, my mother, who did HR, could type RIDIC fast. She is in her 70s (had me late, for back then) and was always a techie. I had a DOS computer as a kid. Dot matrix printers were awesome so some school projects, everyone wanted to be with me, hahaha. Loathe such teamwork. One will always get the lazy people and the overachievers. I am neither. I am just get the job done decently type.

The electricity is finally back on, so I should start getting ready to cam, get the apps, bots, outfit ready. UGH: I hate that part the most. The ''sluttier'' I dress, the less I make. Or so it seems. It's 75% luck.

I won't be delusional and pretend that MOST men prefer ME to women who are 18-25, tall, blonde, thin, with long hair. One outta five ain't bad. Hehehe. I am still pretty, even though I am 99, admit it. :)

Btw, the electricity was intentionally turned off to install smart switches. I am kina meh about them. They look nice and modern, but the house is from the 1800s, haha. I would rather have the bathroom tile floors fixed. They are fine, they only need some re-caulking. And goddammit, I wanna paint. I can do both of those things. But I am STILL working on the floor. It is better to paint and caulk in the winter with the heat on and in low humidity, anyway.

Haven't sent the regular laptop to get fixed. Dunno if I will. If I can't fix it and my ex can't fix it (albeit we are more network people, and I used to be a Linux Queen, but he can obviously do hardware), it might just be gone. We are nerds, though, so we will probably use it for something. I MAY try ordering a battery, even though the check was fine, if the return policy says I can send it back.

I also have not tried hooking the DSLR to the laptop I am using now. I have two perfectly good, functional PCs that I rarely use, about 5 feet away from where I cam. One even has a newish (RTX something-- from my Ethereum mining days) graphics card. But, alas, sometimes, the more pro it looks, the less cam girls make. It is a frequent topic on forums, Reddit, etc. The customers want high quality but they also want new and inexperienced, is my guess. Won't be an armchair psychologist, but ahem... Madonna/Whore Complex. Look it up. Also, do I want a full PC tower in the middle of the room? Nah.

One day, I will show up, un-showered after 2-3 days, greasy hair, with my thick glasses on and use my Logitech c720. It is from 2011, I believe. Maybe I will have muffin crumbs or grease on my shirt for the ooh la la effect. Hahahaha. I will talk about weird shit and politics and the best TV shows, and won't be sexual at all. ONE DAY, I am gonna do it, just as an experiment.

Ironically enough, I STILL broadcast at 720 pixels. I could do 1280, but it slows down the GPU. I have tried 4K, and it doesn`t work as far as bringing tippers in. Most people do not have 4k TVs. Gamers might have 4k monitors but I rarely see or talk to them on cam. The average cam watcher had a screen resolution of... I believe 420 pixels in 2022. Yes, 2022... I know how expensive internet can be in rural America... So maybe that is why. Idk, you guys tell me.

Btw... I wanted to comment on here and I hope the person who wrote to me on CB reads this. He sent me a few compliments (in an unpaid PM, unsolicited PM, mind you... AS IF I DO NOT HAVE FIVE THINGS THAT SAY ''DO NOT SEND ME UNSOLICITED PM''...):

Know that I am not trying to be mean. My rules are my rules. Your compliment was nice and SEMI appreciative, but you violated my rules. I probably silenced you (that lasts 6 hours) or banned you (lasts 45 days unless we make it permanent). I don`t know if I did either, to be honest. Thanks for appreciating my ''personality and grace'' (lol, grace is funny to me, but thx) and writing, but MAH DUDE...

If you can't tell me that for a dime via tip (Note: of which I get a NICKEL of, btw, as CB take 50% UNLESS you sign up on my affiliate link in a new, incognito tab, then I will get 70%. I will link below.)

But you did not think my time was worth even a literal dime, so... And you violated my Do NOT DM ME rule... Like... That is downright insulting. I don't like DMs because I have a new to me laptop with a different keyboard AND 1 on 1 attention is NOT free, and people leave the room when I am typing. You do not deserve reasons, but I am still being pretty nice here. I am a NICE person. Maybe not bubbly or smiley, but I am not rude, and if I am, it's a response. Which I am trying to stop because... Rule 34. People get off on that.

CB needs to ask camgirls if we WANT to accept free DMs. I know that you guys pay $20 to get that feature (and 200 tkns, I believe). But EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I have replied to a free DM, it is only sexting and dirty talk, with zilch as a tip.

Yes, I am aware that some camgirls PM people first. Most are studio gals, from S. America or Eastern Europe, and maybe that nickel goes further... But I am not them. But CB won't do that-- they are a business. Giving us 50%. Manyvids gives 60% for vids, IDK how much for camming bc I only tried once for like 5 mins years ago, but 80% for tips, and Fansly gives 80%. OnlyFans can still kinda fuck off... They went no porno, then because my passport did not have an address on it (NONE DO), they said umm, you can't have your tips until you do. I gave them THE legal document with my address. Nope. Fuck them. Luckily, I always cash out after $100 on any platform, and for OnlyVids, I told the recent tippers to ask for a refund, haha. I MIGHT make vids with my ex there-- but there is no internal search, so you basically have to cam to advertise it. And we cammed in 2017 and 2018. We were usually among the top 10 rooms... It was SO weird to go from 5k viewers to like 10. IDK if I can cam with him-- we do not work well together with anything. Fixing something, arrange paperwork, whatever it is, he has his method, I have mine and we are both stubborn AF. I am NOT submissive, so... We do not fuck IRL (obv we did then... until Oct of 2022, waaah), and we only did oral on cam. So, IDK... Depends on how camming goes for me.

It sucks lately, but that is my fault, as I do not have a schedule or act like a bobble-head. CB has gotten weird, imo. No one seems to talk as much, which drive me batty. Which remind me-- ALERT ALERT ALERT VERY IMPORTANT INFO-- DUDES; PLEASE USE INCOGNITO MODE or Anon if you do not want to talk or tip. Or go watch FREE porn. That woman will probably be nicer, prettier, thinner and younger. People used to say hi or even troll you. Now it is like everyone is a zombie bot. Seeing BigDaddy69 (made up name-- I am sure it exists but I do not know them) for the umpeenth time (who ALSO has more tokens than I have, but know that I cannot see your exact amount, just who has more or less than I do...) And they cannot manage to EVEN say hi, so they can fuck off. I might have to switch to MFC or SM or something. I will see how it goes it a week or two with MY classes starting-- and I assume 1/2 of CB members' kids are returning to school. Summer slump or am I just a mega bitch tired of creepy cheap assholes? LOLOLOL...

Okay, okay, back to Bro who read my blog and sent me the PM:

I am honest. My ''personality'' is really like this:

Save your dime, man. Buy glasses OR respect other people's boundaries. I do not need the acceptance or compliments of anyone in the world to make me happy or exited by an IOTA. I am not certain that half of you guys are trying to take advantage of us with the free DMS, and I do not think that you, Mr. Bro Commenter, were trying to do the same with me. Maybe you think free DMs are tots okay. Maybe you missed my FIVE alerts. Who knows. I appreciate my time more than anything else in life. I am incredibly lucky to not be a I HAVE TO CAM to make money as a sex worker.

So... Thanks for the compliments. Unfortunately, as you are well aware, we cannot pay bills or university fees or groceries with compliments. People who do not appreciate or respect my time or rules can go elsewhere.

So I hope you do. And I wish you well. :)

Btw, the affiliate link. It is t is free. You don't have to buy tokens. Sometimes I allow greys/non-token holders to chat. I started off as a grey... But anyway, feel free to use it BUT PLEASE OPEN IT IN a new, incognito window, especially if you have visited the site before, even as a non-member, or even as a long-time ago member.

Why incognito mode? There are dudes who are affiliates at gfy dot com. Yes, it means go fuck yourself dot com. And uhh... I kinda hate them. They do zero actual work, copy and paste affiliate codes and make more money than most cam girls if they get a ''whale'' to sign up. If you are bored, feel free to visit their website. They are like little ''Tates'', hopefully without the actual sex trafficking.

#camming #college #chaturbate

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darlingkara · 1 year

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Why don't people chat in a chat room? Albeit, I am speaking of a cam site, so that's probably way different.

Going back in...

#e girl #camgirl

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darlingkara · 1 year

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So, I haven't written here since December of 2022

I am finally reorganizing my everything! Well, that's the play, anyway.

Sorry for any typos-- I will be careful. I am working with a new but old laptop and I am not used to the keyboard. But, it works for my vanilla IT job and camming. I have not broadcasted publicly with it, but ran a password protected show and saw it from a phone, a TV, another PC screen. It looked okay at 720/60fps. I have not tried to hook the Cannon up to it yet.

I wish I were a desk person. I am just not. I have never been, haha. Chairs are uncomfortable, the desk height is usually off, and they are hard and uncomfy! I cannot study, or read, or work at a desk. I have always been a bed, couch, floor person.

My classes start in exactly 2 weeks from now... September 5. Now I can finally take the philosophy class I have wanted to take! I don't dislike economics, but the program degree is Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE). I like socio-economics and more so ethics and behavioral strategy. So one Philosophy class and one Politics class. I won't be too too specific, as it wouldn't be too hard to find me. But I am excited-- I love both studies.

Btw, not like I care if people find ''out''. My family knows I am a cam girl... I think they mostly support it. My mother thinks it is like Twitch with boobies. Hahaha. Kinda, but I don't play games when I broadcast. Or really never or rarely.

Speaking of the devil, 2 outta 3 siblings are blocked on FB and I will never talk to them again, I assume. My sister said something about having to pay taxes on a parking lot that her church rented out to sell vegetables. She is umm... a Libertarian. I said, ''Well, at least the concrete was taxed''.

She told me to eat concrete... Like, wtf, I know. And then a slew of recent things she has said to me just hit me. Like, some stupid hypothetical boat story she was discussing a few weeks back. A person is on a boat and has to get to an island. They see a person drowning, and have space in the boat. I said, well, of course I would help them and pick them up. I am going there anyways, and it is not like I can watch someone drown. She said she wouldn't help them, but ''it's not like it was her hand drowning them''. I am sure I said something about how humans need each other and her thinking was a bit.... antisocial, shall we say.

After the EAT CONCRETE weirdness, she sent me a link with pre-made cookie dough being recalled for having woods chips in it, and told me I should eat that, too.

That was it. That was my breaking point. I told her... WOW... What a lovely Christian you are being. You are selfish and ill-willed, and you are dipping your toes into alt-tight territory. And that is the last thing she saw before I blocked her. And I feel so much lighter. She was not like this before. She's 5 years older than I am, and she is not stupid. She has 2 Master's degrees Philosophy and Psychology. Thank fuck she isn't someone's therapist. She did have a patient kill themselves when she first started... and she found them. She was distraught for awhile, which is understandable, but I repeatedly told her that she had nothing to do with it-- The person would have committed suicide anyways, at some point. She obviously wasn't allowed to talk about the specifics (HIPAA). But I felt for her.

Anyways, it is weird to mentally lose two siblings. Albeit, they were older than I am by 5 and 9 years, but we were still close. I was the youngest-- I am not quite Gen X, but due to their ages and influences, I am half Gen X, half Millennial, whatever that means. Of course they are both Anti-Vax (but just recently). It is just so odd. We were not raised this way. They have both become fairly religious. I am almost certain my brother has been celebite for a decade, if not more.

His daughter, who is 18, started college in a kinda southern and eastern state. For some reason, he decided to follower her, move there and I was thinking like, man, get a life. I loved my dad, but that's the last thing I would want him to do-- follow me states away at 18. Bejesus.

....Enough whining from me. Sorry, I don't have an outlet for my feelings.

...8 hours later... I worked way too much. I did my IT job for 4 hours and I re-did the floor (again) for another 4 hours. It's getting there! If only I realized I probably only needed stronger acetone to remove the damn spots and tar, it would have been much easier. It is like, half wood, and half I don't know. There are pics on Twitter. I think I will eventually have to buy some oak stain for some spots I over-sanded. But, not so ba+d or expensive thus far. Nail files, acetone, mineral spirit alcohol and a stove scraper I already had, haha.

My weight loss had plateaued for a bit. I was stuck at 90 kgs/190 lbs for almost a month, and now I am 86.7kgs or 191 lbs. I really only want to get to about 160-170 pounds, Anything less than that, I look kinda weird, imo. Start weight was a very shocking 247 lbs or 124 kgs. Yikes. You don't realize how slow you pack in on. I am sticking with 1100 calories a day. But I am so bad. All I want are these little chocolate doughnuts, veggies and meat. It could be worse. :)

I will try to update more than every 6 months, haha. Lately all I have been doing is being snarky on Twitter, working, and reading.

This Trump et al thing is craaaaazy. But I am not surprised. I cannot believe people are so gullible and believe in such bizarre lies. I have been obsessed with Erik Prince and Mike Flynn fir awhile, as well as the Wagner group, before they were all on most people's radar. And Musk/Twitter-- that was not by accident. None of this is.

Until next time... Keep yourself sane, content and safe!

youtube

#politics #philosophy #e girl #family #Youtube

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darlingkara · 2 years

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Whew, what a past few days! I worked (IT/Not CB), ran around the neighborhood for some Christmas presents to ship to my family in the US. I'm a dumb dumb the other day. I went to the Post Office and either forgot a custom form was needed (gifts of small value), or I figured they'd just have me fill out a piece of paper like every other time I've sent stuff out of the country.

It was like 80-85°F in there, packed with people (of course half are coughing, not wearing a mask (I was but I guess I'm a "weirdo" 🙄)... I was there for about 30 minutes. Two women were verbally fighting (in what I assume is Russian or Ukrainian) and the police showed up as I was leaving. 😅 This was after running from store to store to get some gifts to send. I sent my mom somewhat fancy arthritis gel, some chocolate, a candle that has a topper and it spins (via heat, a tealight candle-- Confusing to me but I saw it in action at the store!). I also sent (HAHA) 2 small bottles of water, put in Diet Coke bottles. I have to prove to them that the water here is *the best*! I sent my son some new snacks not available there and a hand-wrirten note, as requested. ❤️

And then I do my regular grocery/ cleaning supplies, etc. shopping. I'm pooped!

So I get home, undressed, and go siiiiigh.

And then Carl texts me and says we need to go to the theatre tonight-- In 3 hours, minus the 30 minute subway ride.

We ordered a 6 play package but we never got the tickets mailed or emailed, so Carl sent them an email, and they called.

I thought, okay, I'm tired, why the hell didn't they just send the tickets? But I felt like dolling up a bit, had something nice to wear (thank gawd for keeping clothes that didn't used to fit!) Got dolled up, Carl would meet me at the theater, and of COURSE, I got lost. They're re-doing the subway. It was raining, then sleeting then snowing. I was freezing and just wanted to go home. I had my phone and don't understand meters or crooked European streets. Blah. Missed the first act, the intermission was in 30 mins, so I said, it's fine (they'd let me sit on the balcony to not interupt the play-- "maybe on a stool". 🤣 Wtf, my prices were the same, but I digress...). I had to pee, I was walking forever, and my coat and previously fabulously looking hair were wet. Dried off, and had a white wine and waited for Carl for the Act II. Act II was great.

I enjoyed it, and I'll try to catch the first one online.

Today was just work, work, work. Tomorrow I plan to go Xmas shopping. The tree is up, with lights and ornaments. It's sooo nice to have a functional living room again! 😄

#post office #christmas #presents #theatre #weather #getting lost

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darlingkara · 2 years

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It's cleaning day! I'm taking a little break because I'm hot. Well, the past few days have been "Spring" cleaning days. I've let half the living room become a "I'll deal with this later" situation. I've replaced four 8 foot blackout curtains, which alone are quite bulky. And all of my clothes 🥺 mostly just went into boxes. (Nevermind the big boxes that I saved "just in case it breaks and I need to return it". And PC stuff. Le sigh.)

I have hoochie mama clothes for camming, and normal clothes. I don't want the hoochie mama clothes in my bedroom, where I rarely cam in, so I gradually just combined the two into the living room when doing laundry. For like... 2-3 years. Oops. Untreated back pain makes you wanna not do shit, so it's easy to see how it got out of hand. I try not to blame myself. I still made sure the dishes were done, and the floors weren't gross.

I used to be a neat freak. I had a schedule where I'd do laundry every other day (I had a little kid back then. He's now an adult), sheets were changed on Wednesdays, the fridge was cleaned once a month, boxes and stuff were taken to the dump as needed. I had a car, it wasn't difficult to throw away or sell/transport stuff.

But my life is totally different now. My apartment is probably about the same size here, but it's on the third floor (no elevator) in a city, where there's no need for a car due to awesome, efficient, and nearby public transport. I've transported a mobile air conditioner and a large TV on the subway. It's common enough here, you rarely get looks. Just don't clog up the walking areas and all is good.

I've been reluctant to put stuff in the basement because of humidity/mold worries, and basement units here are notorious for being robbed, or so I've heard. I have two units, but one, to my surprise, is already completely full of not my junk. Tires, men's work boots, boxes.

I unlocked it with the key the apartment gave, the same key that unlocked the lock to my empty unit. Wtf indeed! Being nosy and curious and thinking of security, I wondered how many other units I could unlock with my key. Quite a lot, almost half. I only tried about 10 locks. The basement is creepy and old. I took a break from moving plastic boxes into the unit and sat on the steps and took a picture:

So we got 2 new locks. One is a smart lock. You can open it with an app on your phone via Bluetooth or fingerprint. I refuse to give my fingerprint to anyone, let alone a probable Chinese App company. I won't even use the fingerprint unlock option on my phone. 😂 Face scanning unlock option is also disabled on any phone I've had. Carl had no issues with it, so he used his fingerprint.

We ordered some under the bed plastic storage containers. They were cheap (about $12 for two) but they're coming in very handy.

I'm off to clean under the bed-- it's no small feat. It's a King Size bed and it's dark under there.

I should get back to camming very soon. Hopefully in an uncluttered living room that brings me peace. 😃

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