dayeinthetrenches - Tumblr blog

[dayeinthetrenches]

When i start writing a story in passive voice, using a lot of descriptions, as the story progresses, i have this tendency to write it in active voice. Somewhere the natural flow is disrupted. Please help!!

Hi!

I think first we need to clear something up about active vs. passive voice. Descriptions and lots of it can all be told in active voice, just like action could be told in passive voice. The difference depends on the structure of your sentence.

For example:

"The flowers were speckled with glimmering drops of rain." (passive) "Glimmering drops of rain speckled the petals of each flower" (active) and "The villain was struck by the passing crane." (passive) "The passing crane struck the villain." (active)

Which you choose depends on the effect you want on your readers! For example, you may not want to reveal what's happening to the character until the end of the sentence to maintain a sort of suspense.

"He was tugged suddenly under the door; a large, skeletal hand digging into his thigh." (passive) versus "a large, skeletal hand tugged him under the door." (active)

Good stories use a combination of both! Unless you're really intentionally writing only in passive or active as a style choice to convey something specific, make sure you're incorporating both where appropriate.

What I assume you mean is that the beginning of your work tends to be full of description and focus on detail, whereas by the end you're just moving bodies through space--focusing on the actions of the characters.

I also have this struggle!

A lot of that work at the beginning is about tone, which I wrote about here:

Otherwise, it's about editing afterwards--adding in the missing details and being intentional about your pacing. This may also help:

Hopefully that answers your question!

[dayeinthetrenches]

I need to describe the sound of running footsteps through leaves in the present tense, how would i do that?

Something like: Leaves crunch in rapid succession as someone runs unseen through the shadows.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Learn more about WQA

Visit my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

[dayeinthetrenches]

Hi, thank you so much for running this blog! I have questions about chapters:

Are there rules for when/where a chapter should end?

And for how much time can pass between scenes in the same chapter?

When should a scene get a new chapter?

Scenes, Chapters, and How to End Them

Any amount of time can pass between scenes in a chapter, however the scenes should be related in some other way... for example, you could end one scene with a character heading back to school after Christmas break and thinking about how much they can't wait for summer vacation, and then the next scene could take place at the end of the school year.

Thanks for your question!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Learn more about WQA

Visit my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

[dayeinthetrenches]

Do you have any advise on writing a genre that you don't have the writing skills for? I tried to write a noir detective fanfic, and i've researched the genre, that's why i know i dont have the skills for it

Writing an Unfamiliar Genre

1 - Research the Genre Thoroughly

I know you've done this, but for anyone else who might be interested... research is definitely the first step. Learn the what the genre is all about, the common elements, the tropes, and the most popular examples.

2 - Read and Watch Stories in the Genre

The best way to familiarize yourself with a genre and learn how to write it is to read stories in that genre. If you struggle with reading novels, look for novellas or short stories in that genre, or try to work audiobooks into your routine. You can also watch TV shows and movies in the genre as well. The more stories in the genre you consume, the more familiar you'll be with it and more comfortable you'll be writing it.

3 - Write Stories in the Genre for Practice

Practice makes perfect with writing and storytelling as it does with many other things. Even if you don't feel confident writing stories in the genre, write them anyway. You don't have to publish or share every story you write. Look for genre-specific writing prompts or challenge yourself to write fan-fiction of your favorite stories in that genre.

4 - Seek Feedback

Look for a critique partner or beta readers who specialize in the genre and ask for feedback on some of your better attempts. This will help you learn what you're doing right and where you need improvement.

5 - Don't Worry About Perfection

When you're ready to share or publish a story in the genre, remember it doesn't have to be a paragon story within that genre. Any well-known author in that genre will have earlier stories that aren't the best stories in that genre. So, don't feel like you have to write the most amazing story that genre has ever seen. Just write the story that's in your heart and do the best you can with it.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Visit my FAQ

Find answers fast on my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

[dayeinthetrenches]

Places To Post Original Fiction

1.)  Commaful – a friendly and supportive writing community, smaller but denser than Wattpad, and far more active and engaging.

2.)  FictionPress – original fiction’s answer to FanFiction.net.  If you’re familiar with that format, you’ll be familiar with this.  

3.)  Smashwords – an ebook publishing platform that also welcomes short stories, and collections thereof.

4.)  WritersCafe – old-school but solid, with an active community and plenty of contests/challenges to get the creative juices pumping.

5.)  Medium – a place where you can post, essentially, anything and everything.  Articles and non-fiction are its biggest market, but fiction is welcome as well.

6.)  Booksie – less community-based, with fewer interactions and comments.  However, it still attracts great talent, and can be great for authors who are shy and don’t want to get bombarded with interaction.

7.)  RoyalRoad – a rich community, with a strong emphasis on mutual support between authors.  Focuses on web novels, fanfiction, and original stories.

8.)  FanStory – an oldie but a goody.  Don’t be fooled by the name – it seems to be predominantly original fiction, and offers contests with cash prizes. 

9.)  Young Writers Society – as the name suggests, oriented towards writers in their teens and twenties, but is by no means exclusive to authors of this age bracket. 

10.)  Wattpad – Wattpad provides users with the opportunity to post original fiction and gain a loyal following.  It’s not for everyone, but some people swear by it.  

On that note, you can also post original fiction to AO3 and FanFiction, but as they are predominantly for fan works, I decided not to include them on this list.  What’s your favorite way to post original fiction?

Happy writing, everybody!

[dayeinthetrenches]

How to craft a strong character voice

Let me teach you how to craft a unique & distinct character voice.

There are three main elements you can follow to do this well →

Attitude What does your character sound like tonally? Emotionally? Are they dry? Optimistic? Pessimistic? Sarcastic? Princess-like? Tense? Aggressive? Passive? Pensive? Careful? Annoying?

Rhythm How does your character speak? This is where you could think about: - How loud or quiet are they? - How much do they speak? Short rhythmic sentences? Windy never-ending monologue? - Trailing off, not finishing their sentences - Repeating words over and over again

Use of language What sort of vocabulary your character has access to will depend on: - Education and background - Accents, birthplace, upbringing - Repetitive words, ticks - Expressions they might have picked up.

Once you have figured out these three aspects of your character’s voice, you should have a really strong idea of how this character will sound! The more specific direction you push the voice in → the more distinct they will sound on the page.

🎓 Let’s recap quickly! When crafting your character’s voice, think about: - Attitude - Ryhthm - Language

💜 Follow the link HERE or below to enroll today! 💜

[dayeinthetrenches]

Storytelling in Any Season

Incorporating the seasons into my stories is enjoyable. Not only are seasons a relatable life experience, but passage of time can be tricky to portray without them. The best part about adding the seasons to a story is that they have strong potential to aid the plot.

Seasonal details that are easy to add to create the scene and affect the plot.

CLOTHING; if I walk this path in winter, I have to wear huge boots that can handle slick mud. If I walk it in summer, the dead grass scratches my bare legs because now I am wearing shorts.

EXTREME TEMPERATURE; whatever we do today it better be indoors and out of this heat wave/blizzard. If the battle/heist/romance/etc. takes place in this weather, there will be consequences!

CHARACTER MOOD; autumn is Character A's favorite time of year! they gain a positive, upbeat attitude as soon as they see signs of autumn. Character B feels dread and becomes easily agitated during autumn. The two of them clash more in autumn than any other season.

EVENTS; holidays aside, some seasons may be busier for one character than another. I had a weekend job during summers and was rarely available. Weddings are most common in spring. Community events that affect traffic, shops, or social atmosphere can occur at any time of year.

TRANSPORTATION; some parts of the world rely on different transport for different seasons. A bicycle when it is temperate, a bus or train when it is miserable. A car for dry weather is replaced with a car outfitted for inclement weather. A regular trip to the grocery store may even need to be cancelled completely. And don't forget air and water travel!

HISTORY/TRAUMA; certain seasons in your story may be marked by pain. This is the season the war took many lives. This is the month unforgettable tragedy occurred. The upcoming season marks the anniversary of a huge mistake we'd all like to forget. Social and personal customs will reflect this memorial.

FOOD; in the modern-day US we are used to most foods being available year-round. This is not the case globally or historically. Seasons can be marked by what foods are or aren't available. This can include meat, produce, and dairy, but it can also extend to dishes and meals.

RESOURCES; like food, weather and climate affect access to many things your characters may need. Washed out roads halt shipments, but heavy rain is good for crops. Intense heat can damage perishable supplies, but dries out firewood fast. Natural disasters halt production while simultaneously increasing demand. Even a weather event in another hemisphere can affect your character's resources.

Whenever you think "How do I portray the changing seasons?" pay attention to the changes you have to make each season. Places you go, your personal habits, the items you carry with you, the events you prepare for, and all of these real-life details affect YOUR "plot" every day. Consider which ones would affect your character's plot, and use them to both set the scene and move the story along.

---

✩ This was written in response/addition to @writingquestionsanswered post Incorporating Seasons Into a Story. Please see their post for other important tips!

+ If you enjoy my content and want to see more, consider sending a little thank you and Buy Me A Coffee!

+ Visit me on AO3 - Wattpad for my fanfiction, and Pinterest - Unsplash for photo inspiration.

[dayeinthetrenches]

How to write the opening chapter

My guide to nailing your first chapter

Start in a peculiar situation What is a situation that’s totally unexpected to your readers, but an everyday occurrence to your characters? Start there!

Make sure you cover all these elements 💜 Introducing your protagonist 💜 And their flaw 💜 And what they struggle with 💜 Build a first look at the atmosphere of your book 💜 Signal your genre 💜 Establish your narrative position

Keep it all about the intrigue! It’s very tempting to unload everything onto your reader in the first chapter, because you just want them to know everything. But the more you can hold back, the more intrigue you will create, and therefore - more reason for the reader to keep flipping pages.

Don’t forget to hint at your story question Now this is a really important step that a lot of writers leave out and their first chapter suffers for it. It has to do with your hero’s flaw. This will be closely connected to the story question you’re asking. Make sure you include a quick hint at the bigger conflict that your story will be exploring and how your hero’s flaw might play into it.

Your characters are key Absolutely the most crucial thing about your first few chapters is to establish a connection with your characters. Character empathy is what drives readers’ interest. Don’t go in with a whole character backstory, but instead show us who they are right now, and why we should care about what happens to them.

Things to avoid 💜 Info-dumping! 💜 Introducing too much about your world all at once 💜 Introducing too many characters 💜 Giving your readers answers instead of questions

Also…

Did you know I’m launching a Youtube channel? The first video will be up January 2023. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it!

💜 You can find the channel through the link HERE or below! 💜

[dayeinthetrenches]

Relatable.

sometimes writing is pausing in the middle of your high-intensity lead-up to an important fight scene to google "types of noses" for 20 minutes

[dayeinthetrenches]

How to create conflict in your story

Here are the best ways to create conflict in your story

Start with your character’s personality versus their goal. Whatever their goal is, their personality should be the the first opposition in achieving it.

Moral values are a huge one. Put two characters of opposing beliefs into a situation they have to solve together, but neither of them accepts the other’s way of thinking.

Betrayal is always going to hit deepest. Force a character to betray someone they care about for the greater good.

Set a timer. There’s absolutely nothing that gets people thinking of the most brutal solutions than when they’re racing against the clock. There just isn’t time to spare everyone’s feelings.

Mistakes. Allow your characters to make mistakes - bad ones, not ones they can easily bounce back from. Mistakes are the thing that makes us human, and it can do wonders for raising the stakes in your story.

Did you hear about my group coaching for writers? I’m teaming up with Novlr to bring you a 6-month program where you’ll learn all the elements of creative writing and work to complete your first draft!

Join the waitlist today through the link HERE!

[dayeinthetrenches]

Why your story sucks

Read this if you think your story sucks.

Here are the most common reasons why it might feel like things are falling flat in your novel, or just not working out the way you want them to.

You don’t have a clear message You don’t have a grasp on what your story question is and how you’re going to answer it, or what themes you’re exploring beyond the plot.

You’ve lost sight of your character motivations This happens often, to experienced writers too. Sometimes you’re just not thinking in a way that puts your character motivations in the top priorities - where they should always be.

You rushed in without a plot structure Being a discovery writer is all good and way, pantsing your way through a story can be done, but even so, you should at least have a vague idea of what your biggest plot points are, so you don’t completely lose the middle.

You’re obsessed with the plot On the other tip of the scale, you might be obsessing over following every little plot thread you’ve laid out, that writing just isn’t fun anymore, and your characters are doing things for the sake of following your plot.

You’re not taking time to discover your world Allowing yourself some creative freedom from time to time is a great way to spark innovative scenes in your novel. Explore what the world you created has to offer, and let your characters do their own thing once in a while.

Did you hear about my group coaching for writers? I’m teaming up with Novlr to bring you a 6-month program where you’ll learn all the elements of creative writing and work to complete your first draft!

Join the waitlist today through the link HERE!

[dayeinthetrenches]

Reminder not to edit while you write. You want to finish that story someday? Then stop editing while you write!

Fixing an obvious error/typo in the sentence you just wrote is fine, but we're not talking about that. Do not reread, do not continue searching for errors, do not even spellcheck in case that leads you down the editing rabbithole.

Finish the story. The clock is ticking on that muse and distractions waste precious time!

[dayeinthetrenches]

What would your advice for just-starting-out young authors be?

I love new writers! I’ve never known a better way to escape my reality and live a thousand different lives.

I started writing when I was young, maybe 12 or 13 years old. I am now 25, and very much consider myself to be a child, but still, in my 10+ years of personal writing and classes, here are some of the best tips I can give anyone who is new to writing, regardless of age.

Read. Read. Read. Then read some more. The easiest and fastest way to learn how to write is by reading and studying how other people have written their stories. Study their balance of dialogue vs description vs action. Study the words they use and what they’re choosing to describe. Study the scenes that make you feel something, or pull you to the story even more, and dissect it until you understand how to do it.

Daydream. At night, in the morning, before and after school, during school, during work. When people are trying to talk to you, just daydream. Image worlds with populated moons. Imagine worlds with multiple human-like species all living in the same area. Image a boy who goes home and cries to his adoptive family parents, and girls who practices knife throwing every night to prepare for the apocalypse that no one sees coming. Dream of everything and anything because that’s how you keep and improve your creativity. Eventually you may even write something with it.

Write for yourself. Always start by writing what you enjoy, and love your characters and your stories. Everything about your first draft should be because you love the story, not what other people like. You will never please everyone, so start with yourself, and build a community with the ones who love your story as much as you do.

Do it on your own timeline. If you want to write a book in a month, edit the next and publish right after, do it. If you want to write the first five chapters of 8 books without finishing, do it. If, like me, you want to write your first novel at 18 years old, and 7 years later still not feel ready to publish, that’s ok! You are not falling behind anyone else, you are exactly where you should be on your own path.

Practice. Your writing will improve with practice, that’s how it works, it’s how it always works. No way to skip right to publishing a first draft and becoming famous for it. Practice and just keep writing, you will improve.

Challenge yourself. While you may love fantasy or romance, or maybe all your story ideas are too big for only one book and they all end up being series’, you need to try new things. Write a mystery short story. Write poetry on how you feel. Write one page on how you could survive a zombie apocalypse as long as you have your coffee in the morning, it doesn’t matter, just try new things. Trying new things is how I wrote this haiku: Take a deep inhale, Breathe fresh air into my lungs, I savorfreedom. Is it the greatest haiku ever? No, but it makes me happy, and reminds me that I can write, good or bad, and still be proud of myself.

Keep all your projects. Good or bad. Look back on them years later and think, yeah that was terrible, at least I’m better now. Or maybe think, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. It’s a progressive journey. You can take your time. DONT EVER SHAME YOUR YOUNGER SELF FOR THEIR WORK. THEY TRIED THEIR HARDEST AND WROTE AS BEST THEY COULD. WE ARE PROUD OF OURSELVES, NOT EMBARRASSED OR SHAMED. Whether the work is from years ago or days go. Be kind to yourself, no one else owes you that.

Compare. Compare to popular novels, compare to your friends stories or to people online. Compare and see if your character are developed enough, or if your story makes sense, or if it’s relatable. When comparing however, keep in mind that your written style will be different than all others writers. Your first novel will not be the same as an author’s 10th book that just went viral on TikTok. It takes practice and time. Compare for style, technique, structure and plot. Not for popularity, worth, importance, and don’t feel down thinking that someone writing at a higher grade level makes them better, it doesn’t.

Share your work. If you are embarrassed, use a pen name. That’s perfectly fine. Put your work out there and get feedback. Having one person saying your story is (negative criticism here) is going to happen, don’t freak out. It doesn’t mean your story is flawed and should be tossed. If most people are saying that, then maybe it’s time to revisit the story and plot. Getting feedback from people reading your story is important, you want to ask specific questions so you don’t get generic answers. Get real reviews from real people, the mean voice in your head doesn’t get a say.

Learn the difference between perfect and done. I know, I know. Perfectionists around the world just scoffed and thought ‘I would if I could’. Here’s the thing, it’ll never be perfect. A word won’t be right, you can’t find the right way to convey an emotion, your choice of vocabulary isn’t up to your standards, I get it. You want your work to be absolute perfection so that everyone loves it and no one can say a bad thing about it, but it doesn’t work that way. Instead make it to ‘complete’, then nitpick some details, then it’s done. Done is good, it’s where you want to be.

Self-publishing? Pay for a professional editor and a graphic designer. It makes a difference, I promise.

There’s lots of others, but I would say as a writer-starter-pack, these should get you started, then you will learn lessons all on your own, or find them as you’re writing later on. Truly, just have fun, and the rest will come with time.

Happy Writing!

Willow

[dayeinthetrenches]

My prayers have been answered, thank you🙏 🥺

Hi, so currently I'm writing a first person POV fanfic and noticed as I was writing that I tend to use a lot of "I" at the start of each sentence as well as words that end "-ing" and to my understanding, this repeated use of grammar can create distance between the character and the reader called "psychic distance" or "narrative distance". I want to avoid that. I don't want the readers' to disengage in the immersion of the story. I want readers' to be able to connect with my story as if they were inside the characters mind. Do you have any tips or examples on how to maneuver through that?

Using "I" and "-ing" Words a Lot in First-Person

If you're starting a lot of sentences with "I" in first-person, it's probably because you're writing a laundry list of actions rather than bringing the reader through an experience...

I sat up and stretched, then looked at the clock and inwardly fist-pumped because I didn't sleep late. I got out of bed and slid on my fuzzy slippers, then I gestured for Fido to follow me downstairs. I fed Fido some kibble and poured myself a glass of orange juice.

See how that's just a laundry list of actions? I this... I that... I some other thing. You can very easily reword things so the focus isn't on the "I" but the action itself, so that it doesn't have that list effect.

You can also eliminate obvious actions, things the reader doesn't need to be told because they can assume they're happening. Like, "I looked at the clock, it was 10 a.m." If you just say, "It was 10 a.m." the reader will assume a clock was looked at, and not that the character looked at a sundial or gauged the time from the position of the sun in the sky. ;) (But, obviously, if they did tell time using a sun dial or another non-clock method, that's a time it'd be worth mentioning...)

For once in my life, I hadn't slept late. With an inward fist-pump, I slid on my fuzzy slippers and started downstairs. Fido followed close behind and was ready and waiting when I poured kibble into his bowl. While he ate, I poured myself some orange juice and pulled out my planner.

See how that's not a list of actions but an experience? You feel like you're moving through the first moments of this character's day right along with them, rather than being read a list of tasks they completed.

As for -ing words, what you really want to eliminate is "was ___-ing." So, for example, "I hurried down the stairs and Fido was running behind me." Instead: "I hurried down the stairs and Fido ran behind me."

"While he was eating, I poured myself some orange juice." "While he ate, I poured myself some orange juice."

So, if there's a stronger verb (ate vs was eating) use it. Sometimes there's not, though. "It was after five, so I was running late." In this case, there's no way you can eliminate "was" and replace it with a stronger verb. You could eliminate "was running" if you wanted to, though... "It was after five, so I was late."

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Visit my FAQ

Find answers fast on my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

[dayeinthetrenches]

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. fanfiction is not an inherently subversive practice that is going to elevate art and save it. fanfiction is also not the scourge of all literature that is going to destroy art and debase it. fanfiction is literally just another lightly popular medium of writing and is capable of being good or bad. it’s not inherently uniquely good and it’s not inherently uniquely bad, it’s just a way you can write a story

[dayeinthetrenches]

Hi! So I recently discovered removing the word 'that' from 90% of my writing actually made it more fluid and hardly impacted the readability. Tiny achievement but very proud of myself as a novice writer ^.^ I was wondering if (other than the up/down one) there were any other tiny tricks for removing superfluous words? Thanks!

Great question! Honestly, there are hundreds, but here are a few to get you started.

Words You Can (Usually) Safely Cut from Your Writing

That

Then

Start

Begin

Suddenly

Down

Up

Kind of

Really

Just

Basically

In general, look out for adverbs (actually, really), “hedging” words (kind of, sometimes), and ambiguous words (nothing, everything, someone). Some can be cut; others will need to be revised or swapped out. “That” is a classic offender. “Then” can usually be changed to “and.” It’s only necessary to qualify that an action was “started” if the action gets interrupted, otherwise it can be cut. (”She started to cry” becomes “She cried”).

I have a detailed, exhaustive list of words like this (with explanations!) in my book The Complete Guide to Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, which will be done soon :)

Nice to hear from you & hope this helps!

[dayeinthetrenches]

when in doubt fake a marriage! prompts

feel free to use:)

“let’s get married.” “… ok…” “OK????”

character a kneeling down like “will you ma—“ and character b like “get up.”

rather than strangers to fake lovers, best friends to fake lovers or coworkers (!!!) to fake lovers

what if one of them just put up a tinder account solely for attracting someone to beg them to be in a fake relationship with them

“we need a reason, though. my parents won’t be too approving of us living together if—“ “what if we got married?”

“what’s the timeline?” “let’s say we met.. nine months ago.” “woah… suspicious.”

how well do they work together? do they like each other? hate each other? indifferent? and if so, what makes them begin to see the other in a new light?

they’re at an event together and one offers the other food not knowing they’re allergic so now they have to explain why their spouse wouldn’t know their allergies

they choose to get married because both their families are pressuring them

they choose to get married because they need that requirement for a certain benefit, etc

“why do you keep looking at me like that?” “no reason… the dress is just.. you’re just…” “i mean, it was from party city, but thank you.”

“thank you for thinking of me… even if this isn’t real.”

a sudden “what if we got married?” and a “…… it scares me that that was the first solution you could think of.” response

the first time their called by the others’ last name

“oh my gosh i just lied to your parents. i never lie to parents. i feel sick. they were so kind.” “breathe.”

“oh. you got me flowers. wow.” “you are my spouse, aren’t you?”

“does this mean anything to you like… truly, at all?”

the moment they walk down the aisle and neither are in love just yet so they’re both thinking “i can’t believe this is my life🙁”

“let’s pretend to be married.” “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND????”

a confession like “i love you.” and a blank stare in response so they go “no like, for real. like actually. like i genuinely love you.”

“sorry… my family can be a bit much.” “no, i love them.”

“ok but how do i explain to my fake husband that i want him to be his real wife who got married with real vows and stuff?”

one character whispering to the other while they’re asleep, “i want this so badly to be real.”

the wedding night… i won’t elaborate

the first time they kiss and why… how is it explained away? is it even acknowledged?

“i want to marry you, for real.”

“i think you’re the most radiant person i’ve seen ever. i’m glad i married you.” “the first or second time?”

a scene where they discuss the logistics; are they actually legally getting married? if so are they living together? splitting bills? what about transportation? consider all these things :)