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[deadboyquotes]

*The Night Nurse has forced the boys apart temporarily for some reason*

Charles: I hope Edwin watched me today. I could feel him watching.

Charles: He does this thing when he’s worried. Furrows his eyebrows. It’s the cutest thing.

Charles: God I miss him.

Crystal: Oh my god.

Crystal: *picks up phone* I just have to do everything around here.

Crystal: *on the phone* Niko, it’s Crystal. Look, I know we said we’d only reveal this in an emergency. Well, welcome to that emergency. I’ve got Charles in the kitchen, mooing over Edwin like a cow in labour, and I’m not gonna get any work done until you put these two lovesick homosexuals on the phone with one another. I don’t care what the Night Nurse has to say about it. I want you to march your skinny, perfect ass over to Edwin, hand him the phone, or so help me God, you will never see me naked again.

Charles: Wait, what?

Crystal: I thought you might see it my way. Yes, we’ll hold.

Crystal, to Charles: You might be lousy at keeping secrets, but I’m not.

Charles: Crystal, I could kiss you.

Crystal: Touch me and die again.

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Crystal: Somebody feed me something before I'm forced to cook one of you.

Edwin: Don’t be ridiculous.

Edwin: You don’t know how to cook.

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Charles: I apologise for saying 'fuck' in front of our child client.

Edwin: You just said it again.

Charles: What do you want from me? I am not a role model.

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Charles, during the time loop: I HATE YOU! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Charles, after the time loop: I’m not sure where that came from, I have no experience with home invasion.

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Charles: Rest in peace me. RIP me. I died dead.

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Crystal: I’m doing a great job at keeping my crush a secret.

Niko: *smiles*

Crystal: I need to gay- I mean go!

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Edwin: I’m doing a great job at keeping my crush a secret.

Charles: *smiles*

Edwin: I need to gay- I mean go.

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*Alternate universe where the boys are alive*

Charles: Edwin, you’re bleeding! Quick, what’s your blood type?

Edwin: How the hell would I know?

Charles: Why do you not know?

Edwin: Who am I? Karl Landsteiner? Discoverer of blood groups!?

Charles:

Charles: You don’t know your own blood type but you know who discovered them?

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Charles: I’m 6’0”, I’m a hardy mix of British and Indian and I’m known to lie about my height.

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Edwin, in his human disguise: I’m trapped in here! I can’t get out. I sure hope I don’t asphyxiate.

Bystander: *blank stare*

Edwin: And stop breathing.

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Edwin: What are the symptoms of teenage depression?

Night Nurse: Why are you asking me?

Edwin: Charles was doing laundry and he dropped a sock and I heard him say “Why has God forsaken me?”

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Charles: Hey, what’s the word for being attracted to intelligence?

Edwin: Sapiosexuality.

Charles: Fuck yeah.

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Niko: I relate to a blender because I too scream when I do my job.

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Charles, in Hell to rescue Edwin: Someone royally forked up. Somebody forked up. Why can’t I say fork?

Edwin: If you’re trying to curse, you can’t here.

Charles: Well, that’s bullshirt.

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Charles, grabbing Edwin’s hand: No, we’re back on our bullshit.

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Thanks for 200 Followers!!!

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Charles: When I say I’m feral, I don’t always mean I’m angry.

Charles: Maybe I’m stupid and if you give me food you’ll earn my trust and I’ll follow you around.