deadcactusman

[deadcactusman]

A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks toward five anime versions of Beethoven. You are standing next to a lever that can divert the trolley onto a different track that only has the Classicaloid version of Beethoven on it. If you divert the trolley onto the other track, this one Beethoven will die, but the other five Beethovens will be saved.

You are also Schubert from Classicaloid.

Do you let the trolley run its course, hoping this near-death experience will lead to Classicaloid Beethoven rethinking his life and the way he treated you, or do you pull the lever, save the 5 Beethovens and see if Sidstory Beethoven and Schubert are looking for a third-but-really-not-third?

Beethoven recipts under cut

Left to right (disregarding rows):

1. Classi9

2. Classic ☆ Stars

3. Sid Story

4. Eiyuu Senki (18+ game)

5. Gakusei Shoujo

[deadcactusman]

[deadcactusman]

[deadcactusman]

this diva.

[deadcactusman]

モツ！

[deadcactusman]

thinking of making a oc to ship with schubert or something not bc I want to kiss him on the mouth but bc he deserves love and happiness yet shipping him with anyone in canon feels so OOC given how his gimmick is that literally no one gives a shit about him

[deadcactusman]

phenomenon i've noticed

[deadcactusman]

on a more positive note, Mozart has his hat and baton now :)

[deadcactusman]

me and my sister in 2018 (classicaloid schubert and beethoven fans respectively): I hate Wagner because he was mean to my boy >:(

me and my sister in 2025 (my sister is now an IRL Mendelssohn fan): Wagner's portrayal in Classicaloid is a genuine affront to western classical music history, humanity and family values, not to mention possibly Richard Wagner the man himself because of how misrepresented he was. The fact that such a character and plotline was allowed to exist is proof that there is no god in this world because what god would let Felix Mendelssohn(IRL), his most faithful child, be betrayed by the man he saved from obscurity as he uses St. Matthew's Passion to coddle Wagner like he's the golden child of the universe? What god would give Wagner every single piece of validation as a son, a brother, a musician, a Classicaloid, at the expense of everyone else including the main characters? What can this character possibly teach about the real Richard Wagner besides just notifying people that Ride of the Valkyries and Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg exist? Why does he get heterochromia when he uses his powers like a 12 year old's first Sonic OC? I hope that goddamn submarine explodes

[deadcactusman]

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

[deadcactusman]

CLASSICALOIDS!!! ROLL OUT!!

[deadcactusman]

the consistency in anime beethoven designs (except for classi9) never fails to astonish me

like

if you tried and compiled anime versions of mozart, the second most Popular Classical Music Guy, it'd look like this

you could probably find a theme there if you really wanted to, but the personality, colors, design, etc are generally all over the place

but when you compile beethoven designs together they look like

this

it's insane how consistently Beethoven these are, like you could show these to your grandma and she'd have no choice but to reluctantly admit that these anime boys and girls are, in fact, all renowned German composer Ludwig Van Beethoven (1770-1827)

I guess he just cooked that hard with his own character design

< This is the ideal historical figure to moe-ify. You may not like it, but this is what peak character design looks like.

[deadcactusman]

Loving the new look of ClassicaLoid.

[deadcactusman]

ok fine here's why I actually hate wagner(schubert is my babygirl whom i have an unbreakable bond with)

[deadcactusman]

schu❤️❤️❤️schu addict

[deadcactusman]

No tech CEO or NYT bestselling novelist will ever match the creativity of a humble French postman who decided on a whim to spend thirty-three years building a surreal, majestic palace with the bricks and mortar of his dreams.