deavtech - Tumblr blog

deavtech · 7 years ago

Text

※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XIII ※

starters from jenna’s 11 most recent videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences

MY BOYFRIEND COOKS MY FAVORITE DESSERT

“Is that what that is?”

“You say standing, I say upright leisuring.”

“I think it’s subtle.”

“It is pretty subtle; I didn’t notice you.”

“Did you just choke?”

“Sometimes, we just can’t find delicious things that both of us can enjoy.”

“Why are you wearing that helmet?”

“Are you going to wear that the whole time?”

“Wait, so I’m cooking all of the cupcakes?”

“Do I look like someone that’s gonna bake today?”

“I will walk out and I will come back when these cupcakes are ready if you make fun of me one more time.”

“I’ll probably just wing it.”

“I want cupcakes, not Aries shit.”

“A lot of people seem to think that, if you are a vegan, that I wake up every day just with a craving for some carrots.”

“Do I look like a rabbit to you?”

“I’m not here to eat lettuce.”

“You don’t get this very average-looking 31-year-old body from sitting around eating spinach.”

“A “piece of cake” is really open to interpretation.”

“This is a predetermined portion, so, if you have five, that’s on you.”

“I just wanna go enjoy cupcakes with my boyfriend in the middle of the night.”

“We should open a cupcake shop that stays open twenty-four hours a day.”

“Can I get one “this is why mom doesn’t fucking love you”?”

“That actually is making me feel safer, somehow.”

“What’s the point of this, by the way?”

“This is what Julien does. Like, he knows enough conversational Spanish to make absolute nonsense Spanish sentences.”

“Don’t try and drag Virgos, they know everything that’s in the house and where it is. Don’t even try.”

“Imagine if I dropped this right now, and it just shattered glass everywhere, and it was all for nothing.”

“Why are you breathing so hard?”

“I’m self conscious about my breathing.”

“This is what not planning out portions looks like.”

“Are you relaxed yet?”

“Can you just, like, maybe, relax?”

“Someone has not done that to me in so long.”

“If this is a mess, I apologize.”

“It could or it couldn’t; we’re trusting that it won’t.”

“Does that look like the trash to you?”

“Three and a half cups of powdered sugar? Honestly? Worth it.”

“There’s nothing gentle about this.”

“That’s very creative, but I don’t wanna eat that.”

“I just got some paper in that bite.”

“Why did you just burn your finger on purpose?”

REACTING TO COMPILATION VIDEOS OF ME 3

“It is not easy to do that.”

“Normally, the funny moments for you are miserable for me.”

“Don’t you like when I just defy you?”

“You pull out a hammer to cut an onion, Julien…!”

“It doesn’t count as a mustache if it’s accompanied by a beard.”

“Beards do not have to also include mustaches.”

“I could destroy you for an hour in this argument, so maybe we table this.”

“Why do you put up with me sometimes?”

“This is infinitely annoying.”

“You just wanted a reaction.”

“I was just trying to annoy you. It was worth it.”

“It is a good time to mess with you.”

“It is a masterpiece.”

“It’s all about how it makes you feel.”

“I am not a robot 2k18.”

“You started something that I can no longer stop, now.”

“I’m just saying I’ve never seen you two in the same room.”

“That is what the internet is for.”

WE BOUGHT A HOUSE

“This is something that I have been saving for since any of you have known me.”

“I’m terrified the whole time.”

“I’m terrified of everything.”

“It’s been my only goal.”

“I just see a terrifying responsibility.”

“We have chosen to be as independent as possible.”

“You can fix some things. Not all things.”

“Where the hell are you guys?”

“I don’t want to think about it too much — I will cry.”

“I’m always the one who stands.”

“We had prom in here.”

“I don’t do any formal living - I only do casual living.”

“Um, fam, why’d you lock me in here?”

“Please, for the love of god, promise me.”

“This is my favorite place ever.”

“There’s a stuffed animal backpack and a hat that says sexy from Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.”

“As you can tell, I’m a lady of sophistication.”

“I’m gonna keep this hopefully forever.”

“We’ll show you the dungeon next time.”

“What — shit, was I not supposed to tell about the dungeon?”

“If you hate it, that’s fine too.”

TRYING TO DECORATE OUR HOUSE

“We still have so much stuff to do.”

“Everybody can see us just butt-ass naked up there.”

“Honestly, if you’re standing somewhere else in the room, it looks fine.”

“Are you making me build the table?”

“I’ve got weak arms. I’m kidding, they’re like the strongest part of my body, they’re enormous.”

“No nude portraits, Julien. I’m barely nude in front of myself, okay?”

“That’s one of the seven deadly sins. Vanity, gluttony, greed, stools.”

“You fuck it up and then you yell at me when I tell you you fucked it up.”

“There are no directions. Most things don’t come with directions. It’s a suggestion pamphlet, that’s it.”

“Nothing says I’m building a table quite like not having any shoes on.”

“This is coming from the person that had paper curtains for the longest time.”

“I don’t know how this works, I don’t know how to do any of this.”

“Should we just change our whole entire goal today?”

“I don’t know where all of my forks have gone.”

“That’s absolutely not where that came from.”

“I think we took steps backwards, today.”

“This is a gigantic waste of time.”

“Look at the bright side. I don’t know what it is, just look at it.”

“How do people have the will to do this nonstop?”

“I don’t know what the fuck to put there.”

“It’s a skill that I just do not have.”

“Things we’ve learned today: 1) Christian rock bumps. 2) Shopping for things in the world and not on the Internet is a gigantic waste of time.”

“Honestly, leaving the house is a waste of time.”

GIVING MYSELF EYELASH EXTENSIONS

“I’m rare, like a dragon.”

“You’re like a dragon. You scream loud.”

“I will never be using that.”

“I felt like she just didn’t like me.”

“If it has controversial reviews, give it to me. I can’t wait to try it.”

“Wait, what? You’re gonna burn your eyes?”

“I cannot be bothered with this shit.”

“If it’s expensive, there’s gotta be a way to learn how to do it and do it yourself.”

“I didn’t really know what was gonna happen here today.”

“So far this has turned out to be a challenge.”

“Julien, I need you to stop it.”

“I’m not sure I’ve done anything more tedious and frustrating in my life.”

“Don’t remind me that I waste my time.”

“That’s not a good look, but that’s my look.”

“Come on, I’m trying my best.”

“I am having a good time.’

“Is that too much? Do I look extra? Because I have the too much gene, and I don’t know when to stop.”

“I wish I didn’t have a nose.”

“Compliments like that aren’t compliments.”

“I don’t know if I can make it. I don’t know if I can do it.”

“I need encouragement…!”

“I’ve never been tested like this.”

“I need a snack and a large glass of water.”

“I’m really starting to feel the consequences of my decisions.”

“I’m sure these are great for someone. Not me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more uncomfortable than I do right now.”

MAKING MY DOG A BED OUT OF SOAP

“I’ve been working literally all day to try and figure out how to make this work.”

“I went and got three tubs of said soap.”

“It doesn’t work. Trust me. I’ve been doing it all day. It doesn’t work.”

“I can’t describe to you how much it smells like soap in here. It’s nauseating. Like, it almost makes your throat hurt.”

“Does that feel cool?”

“I love that dog… I love that dog…! I love him!”

“I can’t take another failure.”

“No one was ever making a bed out of soap.”

“We could really be tedious about this, but, honestly? Fuck it.”

“I can’t fucking believe that this is actually happening.”

“This was their fault. Not mine.”

“Hi, my name’s Jenna, I’m 31, and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.”

“It’s just really fun to melt soap and then mold it.”

“My arms hurt, my back hurts, my legs hurt.”

“I feel like I’m digging for treasure, this is so stupid.”

“Why did I do this? What have I done?”

“My arms are exhausted from doing that.”

“Please come back, please come back, please come back.”

“This was thirteen hours of work, please just look at it.”

“He hates it. I’m so upset.”

“Let this be the example to remember. This does not work. This is a mess.”

“We’ve created ourselves quite the pickle.”

“He literally doesn’t even care.”

“I need to go to bed.”

MAKING MY BOYFRIEND A ROMPHIM

“Who says a man can’t enjoy a beautiful flowy fabric and a flowy shape that allows you to enjoy the warm weather with freedom?”

“Please don’t take any instruction from me.”

“I don’t know how to sew, I just refuse to fail.”

“You’re on thin ice with me already.”

“If you don’t wear this, I’m gonna be genuinely offended.”

“What’s your favorite part of scissors? Mine’s the handle, ‘cause it’s safe.”

“I guess I don’t even really know how to put in a zipper.”

“There’s no disputing it, I was stabbed.”

“Um, I accidentally cut a hole in it.”

“Thicc, with four and a half Cs.”

“This is taking me far longer than I anticipated.”

“Don’t boop my nipple.”

“Look at that exquisite workmanship.”

“Will you put it on backwards for me? I’m just curious.”

“I’ve gathered you today to look at me. Because I’m beautiful.”

“Give us a good strut.”

“Now strut that little butt out of here.”

COME DO TERRIBLE THINGS TO MY HAIR WITH ME

“The term ‘semi-permanent’ is absolute bullshit.”

“This apparently glows under blacklight.”

“If you’re expecting to look this good, expect disappointment.”

“Dear hair, I’m so sorry, love, Jenna.”

“I feel like this is gonna take forever.”

“Just make sure you wrap it in like seventy thousand plastic bags.”

“How do you feel? Do you feel beautiful?”

“I can’t believe I dyed my hair navy blue seven months ago, and it’s still in here.”

“I got it on my pants, I got it on my pants…”

“You can’t blame me for trying.”

“You’re anticipating my failure, is that what you’re saying?”

“If you dye your hair navy blue, it’s just never coming out.”

“It’s too late, now. Just forget it.”

“It’s been thirty minutes, and I can tell nothing is gonna happen.”

“Look at, that did nothing…! I feel sad.”

“You always prepare for worst-case scenario. All the time.”

“Did I done fuck up?”

“How did I fuck up this bad?”

“Something tells me my technique isn’t gonna pay off this time.”

“It’s not like I’m gonna learn my lesson.”

“I’m like a brunette bird of paradise.”

CAMOUFLAGING MYSELF INTO A CHAIR

“I can’t come up with a list of reasons of why not. There’s only yes.”

“Why is it funny if I do it, but if a makeup artist does it, they’re like, wow, this is spectacular, they deserve an award.”

“Why can’t I try stuff without people thinking I’m nuts?”

“We already have a timer going for eighty-four years.”

“That actually looks so good on you, fuck…”

“The real me has come out.”

“I hope that works, because there is no plan B.”

“I feel like this doesn’t look good at all.”

“She doesn’t believe my feedback until she sees it for herself.”

“You look like an X-Man that didn’t quite make it.”

“I’m just out here being an adult.”

“You did such a good fucking job.”

“I’m just out here trying to have a good time. What’s your problem?”

“I actually had a wonderful time.”

“If you think I’m taking this off, you’re dead wrong.”

“This is my nightmare.”

“Send help to me.”

MY DOGS PICK MY MAKEUP

“There’s no easy way to follow that up.”

“Alright, that’s enough answering from you.”

“Just know that we’re a little stressed.”

“Knock knock, who’s there, it’s not America, freedom doesn’t knock, freedom rings.”

“Later on, I will be drawing eyebrows on you.”

“No matter what people tell me or do on the internet, I’m just not one of those people that does my eye makeup and then puts on foundation.”

“That is a one-way ticket to just smudging everything you just did.”

“I’m what you might call lazy as hell.”

“This is a stupid video.”

“What a sophisticated look you just picked.”

“Are you enjoying yourself even though you don’t know what’s going on?”

“I like to do all of my eyeshadow with one fucking brush.”

“Wow, I mean, I have an audience here.”

“You’re gonna have to wipe down every single box, because I’m not having this life.”

“I’m still mad that you did that.”

“It’s not gonna be a very fun week for you, huh?”

“I kind of like it a lot.”

“I get it, it’s dumb.”

“Open your mouth a little wider?”

“I’m coming for your brand.”

“There is a wasp in here…!”

REACTING TO COMPILATION VIDEOS OF ME 4

“I forgot that you made a bunch of Spider-Man jokes.”

“When I’m concentrating on something that I’m really trying to pull off, I don’t hear your jokes.”

“Literally did not even experience you saying that in person.”

“Just fuck me up.”

“Aw, he’s so cute.”

“He fucking melts your heart.”

“I thought you were gonna say your face is a drug. Cause I was gonna say, then I’m addicted to that.”

“Are you calling me a rat?”

“Honestly, that was really fucking scary. That was genuinely scary.”

“We are alone in this house. You disappear, and that appears.”

“That’s what you hear in the middle of the night that wakes you up.”

“I blew it, man. I fucking blew everything.”

“I’m too emotional to watch this stuff.”

“I wish I knew how to do that.”

“God? Is that you?”

“God, he’s cute.”

“Wow, right on time.”

“Did you know that we’re laughing about you?”

“What the fuck is this?”

“What did we do?”

“I’m feeling personally attacked right now.”

“They literally look at me and go ‘oh, no’, and then they don’t know what to do.”

“I’m feeling attacked.”

“Please stop making fun of my eyebrows 2k18.”

#:: meme

200 notes · View notes