deconstructivesurgery

[deconstructivesurgery]

i should get the other side of my nose pierced so I can take the piercings out and whistle through my nose holes as a defense mechanism that'll alarm my foes

[deconstructivesurgery]

need you to know that when I posted this i had literally 2 emails and neither of them required responses they were just notifications about tax returns

i'll never die i have too many gmail in my inbox that i simply need to answer

[deconstructivesurgery]

Smelly

[deconstructivesurgery]

🗣️📢 PUT THAT MAN IN LACE UNDERWEAR.

[deconstructivesurgery]

[deconstructivesurgery]

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called ‘The Monarch’ 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I have to arch Doctor Venture

My buddy Gary pacing: the guild is lying to us

[deconstructivesurgery]

They killed him. His swag was too different and his bitch too bad. He had to die forever

[deconstructivesurgery]

Spin the wheel. That's who's trying to kill you.

Spin the wheel again. That’s who’s trying to protect you.

(If you have zero idea about the name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)

(Six months ago, I did a version of this poll with about five hundred options on the spinner wheel. For this one, I more than doubled it.)

[deconstructivesurgery]

Painted toe nails, tacky patterned button-up, a VISOR? I need to hit him with a steam roller. Now.

[deconstructivesurgery]

visions of my future unwinding before me like the endless road

[deconstructivesurgery]

(sees a normal and common thing) no way is this specifically a reference to my friend #myfriend?

[deconstructivesurgery]

so recently i watched the passenger (2023) with my dear sweet friend (they told me tumblr was big into this movie so like I guess you guys are getting this) and i will admit: i didn't fuck with it i had a significant amount of complaints. important to note that the friend in question who i was watching the movie with had a running bit of declaring that the bona fide explanation for all of benson's behavior throughout the whole movie was black mold. so we finish the movie. and I'm complaining. really laying into my review. my friend was streaming the movie. his screen, still shared. he opens a fucking mailing list website where you can sign up for mail about mold sickness information. i don't process this. i'm too busy complaining. i pause for one second, i look up: just in time to see that my gmail has been successfully subscribed to mold sickness information.

now I get shit like this in my inbox because I keep forgetting to unsubscribe from moldworld

[deconstructivesurgery]

me: often complains about horror franchises continuing far past their prime and ruining the initial appeal by being repetitive and uncreative

also me when they cancel saw fucking eleven:

[deconstructivesurgery]

unlike some irony poisoned losers, im choosing to enjoy this sincerely

[deconstructivesurgery]

hell is full. heaven is full. god created a new holding space for souls called hurgle and the only thibg to do here is this infinitely expading jigsaw puzzle of a finely detailed pigeon. we are just slowwwwwly creating little tufts of feathers for eternity . yesterday , greg found a corner piece

[deconstructivesurgery]

Chili