deehaus-sys

[deehaus-sys]

also sibbin, de haus artist, made me disyah an boi you already know I got e on rePEAT DIS SHIT RIGHTCHEA GOT ME CACKLIN XDDDD

[deehaus-sys]

🎉🤟🏾Yesterday was Bubba's birthday!!!🤟🏾🎉

We beena forgot to post about it (cuz his favorite way to celebrate be wit dem good herb yah yah 🌿 XD) —Sibbin

Haus birthdays interesting fa us. We don't actually know the *definitive* day a creation fa anyone but de bodi— an it ain't even like I age, only certain famori members do. But we combine vibe, preference, general times of certain traumas, and zodiac, to get a general unique "birth" date fa alla us. Webe very spiritual inya ✨️🌈 and for that reason, we like to celebrate — Bubba

So happy late birthday to our Haus puteka Bubba, an pray we be bress wit dem good good yab🌿 today XD 😎🤟🏾❤️🖤❤️

[deehaus-sys]

So I'm a puteka (protector) in our Haus that used to act much more like a persecutor. Saw this post and wanted to add ma two cents in--

I defnitely relate to a lot of what's said. When I was acting against the system (or mo gainst our host in particular lol), I wanted to have agency. Up until that point in time, I only ever saw the light of day when we were in immediate danger. I wanted to have control over us when we could just explore... and I didn't always stick to places that kept us safe. I wasn't worried about safety as much as I was getting back at everything keeping *me* specifically down. Then I thought that since me and the host were such polar opposites at the time, they wouldn't even wanna work with me to front, 'specially after all the bad situations I put us in. It took a few months of building up trust-- working on communication and setting boundaries with each other-- until things started to ease up between us.

We actually planned on making posts talking about this at some point, I'm glad we found someone mentioning it. Tenkie tenkie cherryblossomscrew uwu

-- Bubba 🤘🏾😎🤘🏾

A overlooked reason for why a persecutor might act out

Its very common to assume that a persecutor is just a misguided protector, who assumes their behaviour is somehow keeping the system safe. This can of course often apply, but in my personal experience only coming across this as the solution to all of those problems occuring with persecutors was very distressing, and often left me feeling hopeless bcz it just didnt apply to my own situation with persecutors. So I wanna talk about one reason a persecutor might act out, that isnt at all about that. It is still a very human reason that should be empathized with however.

Its the fact that a persecutor might just want to feel important and like they matter, but applying their own experience of being trauma-holders and mostly being exposed to abuse in the proccess. Theyve mostly swallowed violence and abuse, so their way of asking for attention, care and feeling important might be by sabotaging the system, acting out, being mean and "abusive" themselves. You giving them an reaction might be the entire point. Them making it so you cannot afford to ignore them might be the entire point.

Further the persecutor might distrust you, they were abused so badly they dont believe you do care for them or love them, or that you do want them to be more important and matter more, bcz afterall the abuse has taught them thats basically impossible.

So from that perspective its almost impossible to "ask" for attention or care the normal way. They might also assume that because theyve already acted out so much, and made you and the system feel so horrible, so often already, that they cant be forgiven. They might feel theyre not deserving of the forgiveness even if you think its not issue to move past it.

If an alter is open to quickly adapting a more positive trusting perspective after being told they do matter, and are important, and their needs matter thats great, but it can often take weeks or months until a persecutor starts to build up trust at all.

My advice for dealing with this is setting up healthy boundaries and telling them they cant do the destructive behaviour, esp if you or other system members are victimized by it in some way, but to also keep telling them, over and over again that youll still be there when they decide to stop acting out. That you care for them, that you think their needs matter.

A lot of it is about patience and balance.

In my experience its not even super good to always try to "sort everything" out in one big emotional talk, as this can make the alter feel like theres more to lose or at stake, and have the opposite effect.

In my experience its a mixture of telling them to give you space, sometimes actively ignoring their attempts to cause harm and sabotage, with only putting up clear boundaries aside of the ignoring. And then trying over and over again to invite them in, in calmer moments, to do something nice and soothing with you, to ask them questions about themselves, to keep the window for things to be better open. Find out more about their playful sides, when they dont feel as stressed or triggered. Build on that.

[deehaus-sys]

I can be shaped by more than the things that hurt me

[deehaus-sys]

wait wait WAITWAITWAIT Y'ALL HOL UP WE JUSS FOUND OUT ABOUT SEVERANCE AND IS THIS SHOW NOT JUST A SKRAIGHT UP D.I.D. EXPERIENCE???

...Or can my trauma just not allow me to watch it lol

[deehaus-sys]

Fa Mi Sibbin

I love you. You are me.

We bin tagedda since my beginnin

I bin watch ya grow

Then

Ya be fa watch me, too

Do us betta

Lead us betta

Putek us betta

Ya mek me wanna mek us succeed.

[deehaus-sys]

Man, our flashbacks really juss be feelin like negative brain blasts 😔

[deehaus-sys]

Not a question, but as a non-native english speaker the dialect in your pinned makes much more sense to me than whatever spelling written english decided on upon, seemingly, a roll of a dice. I wish more people would be willing to transform written english into a much more sensible "vocal" version, as it is the only way to connect with the online world, spelling being a big obstacle to learning it. Thank you for that post as it made me realize I'm not crazy

Tenkie tenkie! I wish mo' peepol did it too! It helps de words in we head match de words I be writing (and we get ta express!)

We already been say it in dat ol' post, but like especially fighting back against our whitewashed education and reclaiming de kulcha is so important to us, and such a healin feelin :)

Plus, English spelling is based on a lot of languages, and those spellings don't all agree with each other. English solved this by making us learn the different pronunciations.

... But oral based languages can just say "well den Imma rite dis de way e be fa mek sense ta me own ear" and den we all go "word" XD

[deehaus-sys]

Bro doesn’t even know I’m a we

[deehaus-sys]

We're in that phase of life again. It's hard to do or make *anything*. But this time, we trying to handle ourselves with a lil bit more grace.

Tearing down our inner artist for not thinking or creating fast enough won't make them think or create faster.

We deserve the compassion we weren't given as a child.

That compassion will be the fertilizer in our collective pot. We won't bloom immediately, but we'll be fortified with the nutrients so that when we do, it's a superbloom.

[deehaus-sys]

Oh uhhh ax us tings if y'all want!!

Our ask box is open and we love answering questions so ask if you want :) we take any respectfully asked question about literally anything

[deehaus-sys]

[Crying] "WHY IS EVERYTHING HARD FOR ME BUT NOT HARD ENOUGH?!"

"that's what she said"

[deehaus-sys]

This reminds me of when I thought we were the "host" until the therapist asked us:

"... and who am I speaking to rn?"

and we thought, "wait yeah who ARE you talking to? who am I lol" XD

i thought i was pretty successfully passing as our host in therapy til the therapist dropped a 'it was nice to meet you' at the end of the session 💀

[deehaus-sys]

We be speakin real funky sumtimes. So here's a guide to our speech (and a love letter to Black speech as a whole) :)

text fa de image below!! (with add. context/clarification below dat)

A Tip fa How we be fa “crack teet” (talk)

Hewwo.

So by now you may have noticed… sometimes we talk like this --and-- sum time we be speakin like disyah

Our system/Haus is Black-bodied wid famlee in lotsa places: like Washington, de adda Washington (D.C.), and South Carolina, in de Gullah Geechee corridor!

This, on top of our American schooling, creates a confused mess of dialects in our head. (Even we get confused!)

A phrase I was taught in special ed was: “When in doubt, sound it out.” (that is to say…)

Just say it out loud. A lot will sound like words in a black/lowcountry southern accent.

EXAMPLES (fum disyah comic!!!)

Dis = this

Adda = other

Wid = with

Fum = from

Yah = here

Famlee = family

(it doesn’t always work, but if you’re familiar with AAVE it’s ok!)

*☆*°•°☆*°•°*☆°•°*☆*

So a bitta extra context, I am Gullah but am not speaking full Gullah Geechee. But enough of my family do to where I was exposed to it and got some of the words in my mouth and the culture in my spirit, an e shine tru sumtime :) also Gullah ain't even a written language. So de words be lookin funky on paypa.

Also ((a bit of trauma lore so **CW**)), when we were young we moved from SC to WA— the schools there clocked my Tism™ and dissociation and put me in special ed, where they thought my Gullah/Lowcountry accent was a speech impediment and therefore needed "fixing". Unfortunately, my Gullah parent had passed away at that point, and couldn't help clear up the mistake :( So the American education system (almost!!) successfully removed my Gullah, as they've done with countless of us. But now, as an adult, we relearning our history so we don't forget who we are! Dass why sumtime, we be cracking teet in de blog like disyah, as reclamation a we kulcha :)

So, we consider ourselves to be speaking a hybrid of written blaccent/AAVE, some Gullah, and standard american english (SAE). we also grew up online in the 2010's so uhh owo XD

Also Happy Black History Month! I hope to see tons more posts and bogs also wid AAVE, Blaccent, Creole, Gullah Geechee, Patois, and all our other wonderful languages in De Diaspora!! :D

[deehaus-sys]

Found this unfinished sketch fum de Haus sketchbook and decided e done now XDD

—Bubba 🤘🏾😎🤘🏾

[deehaus-sys]

Only been back on tumblr about a week and we've already learned a valuable lesson (that bubba tried to tell me but I only JUST now digested fully):

Dis blogya be fa me and alla de famori in Dee Haus. We wanna make it for us in the future to look back on, and invite anyone else to see— specially those who ain't seen themselves be represented like us.

That being said, there's stuff I wanna post that's not exactly about DID, but is still about and for us. I'm gonna post that stuff here too, so this don't get abandoned like a lot of my other social media stuff in the past.

I always fall into the trap of "you can only post about THIS because that's what you said you are" when that's arbitrary. I need to remember we're multifaceted and are worth more than that. Frick rules and pressure to "brand", I want to express ♥︎

tldr; woah you're telling me I can post ANYTHING on this thing?? *posts random things forever*

— Sibbin :]

[deehaus-sys]