deepestcheesecakestrawberry-blog

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I love this! it broke my heart, but man, so beautifully written

The Dreams in which I’m Dying

Pairing: Dean x Reader / Jensen x Reader (it will make sense when you read it)

Squares Filled: Insanity AU for @spnaubingo and Mental Illness for @spnangstbingo

Warnings: Severe schizophrenia and another one but in the tags cause spoiler.  

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2600ish

A/N: This one is written for @spnaubingo and @spnangstbingo. It is inspired by Gary Jules - Mad World and beware it’s angsty af.

It’s an AU btw so Jensen, Jared Briana and Misha aren’t actors.

Thanks to @like-a-bag-of-potatoes for being a sweetheart and betaing this one for me.  

Disclaimer: I know the effects of drugs doesn’t wear off this fast but it is fiction and I needed to fit it with my story.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

SPN AU BINGO MASTERLIST - SPN ANGST BINGO

The rumble of the train wheels on the tracks seemed to lull the world around you to sleep. Expressionless, morning tired people surrounded you; lost in thought and their own minds. Thoughts of their daily doings and mind numbing routines, while you desperately searched the train for something new or out of order to distract your own mind.

All the things you used to love no longer seemed to hold any meaning to you. Nothing seemed to be worth getting out of bed for anymore, but you still did. For him. Jensen seemed to be so happy that you were doing better, and to the outside world you were. You hadn’t had an episode for months, not since you had left the hospital. Not since you had started taking the medication that numbed your mind, leaving you an empty shell of yourself.

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The new actress on set

Pairing: Jensen x Danneel

Words count: 1203

A/N: please let me know what you think and feel free lo leave ideas.

Summary: After thirteen years, Supernatural casts Danneel in a recurring role.

-

At first she said it as a joke.

“Yeah, it would be fun to be on the show! She used to say laughing. But, for Danneel it was really a joke.

For thirteen years and counting of supernatural she just stayed in the shadows for two particular reasons:

-It was Jensen’s thing

-Many fans of the show tend to dislike her

Danneel was fine with all of this. But then she said that phrase and a week later Jensen came home all giddy with a mischievous smile saying

“Bob wants you on the show!”

Danneel immediately thought he was joking and laughed, but Jensen was serious.

After that day, it all went down pretty quickly; She received phone calls from the network, from Bob, from Bob’s wife, who apparently was writing a character just for her, and after a couple of months it was time to make the announcement.

Danneel was happy for all of the positive feedback that she received, even from a few of the cast members.

She and Jensen decided that it was better to move the entire family up to Vancouver for the filming of the episode, and so they did.

A woman, three children and lots and lots of bags were ready to board a flight. Of course JJ was super excited at the thought of being able to see her dad everyday. The twins on the other hand were not as easy to manage, given that on the plane their ears started to ache.

But Danneel, like the pro that she is, managed to keep control of the situation and by doing that, she was also able to calm herself.

She was a little worried about filming for Supernatural, she didn’t want Jensen to feel strange about her presence.

After all Vancouver was his place, Supernatural was his thing and she was worried that having her at home and at work could make Jensen feel uncomfortable.

Anyway, the time for worrying was very little. The house was not ready to welcome the family for the week. They didn’t have cribs for the babies or the right equipment for protecting them from all the danger, like putting their finger in the electric sockets for example.

So, the first thing that she did was running to the store to make their stay as comfortable as possible.

But when Jensen came home from the convention that night, his happy and tired face calmed all of Danneel’s nerves. She could enjoy a week with her husband; and she was even more happy when, as they climbed in bed, he opened his arms for her, mumbling something on the line of “’m so happy that you are here” before planting a kiss on her forehead and deciding that a good session of cuddles was the most important thing at the moment.

Next morning she was needed on set for her first day, and even if Jensen wasn’t needed until later on the day, he insisted on going with her

“I need to make sure that everyone will treat you as you deserve” he said while crossing the parking lot of the set, holding her hand.

Danneel couldn’t help but smile while Jensen guided her towards his trailer.

For years she came here just as a visitor, so she was super grateful for the opportunity. Acting has always been one of her greatest passions, but after JJ was born, the role of mother seemed more appealing than anything else.

That feeling grew more and more, even now with the twins, and she was happy like that, given that being a full time mom was very rewarding.

But when Jensen came up with the idea of being part of the Supernatural family, she found herself happy and content.

In all honesty, her first day on set went really well, her character ,Sister Jo, apparently had good taste in terms of clothing so she was happy with her choice of costume, and being able to be pampered by the make up artist on set was just as great.

Then there was the whole rollerblading thing, that left Danneel a little preoccupied when they tell her that she needed to do a scene with those on, but even that went well.

After her scenes for the day were done, she went back to Jensen’s trailer, that they were sharing for the week, because she knew that he was waiting for her. As soon as she opened the door, two large arms engulfed her

“here is my favorite actress!” said Jensen pulling back just a little “ I heard that you were great today”

Danneel smiled at his excitement “Great is a big word. But I didn’t messed up any of my lines and more importantly I didn’t fell on my face while I was on the roller-blades. That is what I call a victory!” she said enjoying the warmth of her husband embrace

Jensen started to laugh, one of his beautiful full body laugh that made Danneel laugh too.

After they calmed down, Jensen went to closet to relieve her jacket “Okay” he started to say “ I think you’re good to go for today, so I say let’s go back to the kids”

He offered to help her to put on the jacket, and while he was behind her sliding the coat on, he leaned to whisper into her ear

“By the way, you look gorgeous. I think I’m going to like this Sister Jo” he said smirking a little

Danneel slightly rolled her eyes and turned around to face him

“Yeah Yeah, now let’s go, I miss the kids” she said pulling Jensen along with her out of the trailer

They went home and prepared a nice little dinner that they could all enjoy, meatballs with potatoes and carrots on the side.

During dinner JJ chatted happily about all the activities that she did while her parents were at work, while Danneel was feeding the twins with Jensen's help.

After dinner it was finally bedtime for the kids, and fortunately, sleep for them came pretty quickly.

That left the two adults alone, that after a nice glass of wine, decided that sleep was the top priority for them too.

“Did I told you that I’m happy to have you guys here?” Jensen said while changing into his pajamas “I love the fact that after a full day at work we could sit all together for dinner. I miss those moments usually”

Danneel knew how much Jensen missed his family during the season, so when she finally climbed on the bed beside him she told him

“I know you do. We miss you too. A lot” she said “But right now we are here, so let’s enjoy the time that we have, okay? After that it will be Christmas break!”

Jensen smiled and leaned in for a kiss “You’re right.” A peck on the lips “How about I show you just how much I enjoy having you here?” Another peck.

Danneel pulled away for a moment licking her lips to savor the taste of his husband's lips

“If you insist...” she said smiling, leaning in for another kiss.

Yeah. This week was definitely going to be great.

[deepestcheesecakestrawberry-blog]

Home.

Jensen considered himself a very lucky man, he grew up in a loving family and now he had his own. His two girls that he loved with all his hearts.

Right now he was on a plane from vancouver to texas, from work to home. Home. Finally, after all this months of hard work he was able to just relax for a bit with his family.

Driving home from the airport always gave him a lot of emotions, thinking about his baby girl running to him with her little arms open and finally being able to go to sleep with his wife by his side made his heart skip a beat.

The house was quiet when he arrived “mh, unusual” he thought, he checked for some missed call o message from his wife but there was none so he decided to go upstairs.

The door of their bedroom was set ajar, all quiet except for the faint sounds coming from the tv, opening the door he couldn't help but simling; in front of him, his wife and his daughter sleeping together with JJ holding on danneel's shirt thightly.

Jensen quickly took a picture with his phone “my everything” he thought. Then he took off his boots and climbed into the bed carefully trying to not wake his two angels and simply stood there enjoing the quiet and happyness that he was feeling in that moment.

He's not sure how much time passed since he came home, but he's relieved from his sleep by sensing danneel stirring beside him

“hey gorgeous” he said smiling

“what are you doing here? You could have woke me!” she said with her voice still groggy

He leaned in to kiss her sweetly, when they broke the the kiss he said “you two were sleeping so pacefully, i thought you deserved some rest”

“well, i'm happy to have you home, and she is too” she said gesturing to the little girl that was still sleeping “she wanted to wait for you but fell asleep right away when she touched the bed”

jensen laughed and so did danneel, god how much he loved that laugh.

Hiatus was finally here and he couldn't be more happy, when JJ finally woke up the light in her eyes when she saw him was something that jensen could never forget, and when she started caressing his face telling him over and over “i missed you daddy, i love you” jensen smiled to himself.

Yes, he was finally home and he couldn't be more happy.