definitelyunhingedagentphoenix

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Agent Phoenix: aww man, they didn't put extra pickles on my burger. That's the best part of the burger!

John Juniper: ugh, have mine then. I hate them. *Holds up his burger so they can take the pickles*

Agent Phoenix: ... John, I don't like you-

John Juniper: I'm very aware.

Agent Phoenix: shut the fuck up for five seconds you pompous jackass!

John Juniper: *motions for them to continue*

Agent Phoenix: I don't like you, but just know that this means enough to me that I am now indebted to you. You ever need someone killed, I'll be there.

John Juniper: ... That is the scariest thing you've ever said to me because I can tell how serious you are.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

*twenty minutes later*

All three: CALIFORNIA GIRLS! WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE!

Agent Phoenix: ... You're not letting me choose the music this ride, aren't you? Reginald: My music choice is far better, Agent. Agent Phoenix: (¬_¬) Half of them are John Juniper's. John Juniper: ... Really? Well, they're quite good. Reginald: See? Agent Phoenix: You're both biased. John Juniper: Maybe don't play breakup songs. Agent Phoenix: They're classics! You're just mean!

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Agent Phoenix: stop making it fun and I'll stop annoying you.

John Juniper: IT'S NOT FUN ITS-

Agent Phoenix: see this is fun

John Juniper: Why do like to annoy me that much?! Agent Phoenix: It's fun. (˶❛ ᵕ ᵔ˶) John Juniper: (ꐦ¬_¬)

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

In any of your fics, is there a moment you cried or teared up when writing it? Just curious.

I cried a few times writing my Titanic fic because I knew who was dying before I even started writing it. I hated it so much but was also excited. I also cried writing the ending.

Thanks for the question!

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

So my friend and I have been watching a lot of Star Trek lately and we're doing it in a way that people might think is weird. Like my friend has seen almost every episode of every series so we're only watching the ones that they enjoy or think I should watch. It's been fun so far because before every episode I get a little summary of stuff I need to know for this episode and why we're watching it (it's a lot of "I just like Data so we're watching another Data episode" lol) then after we talk about the episode like if it still held up in my friends mind and if I liked it.

Of course that does mean that I wanted to watch all of the Wesley Crusher episodes because he's played by Wil Wheaton (who played John Juniper in IEYTD) and I have to say, he is my favourite part of this show. My favourite episode of any Star Trek series so far is a Wesley-centric episode that I have now rewatched about 1000 times.

Basically it's the last mission Wesley will be doing before going away to Starfleet academy so Picard wants to take him on an easy mission so that he can spend more time with him before he goes because Picard is basically Wesley's father figure and he knows he's going to miss him while he's gone. What starts as a simple mission quickly goes south and Picard is injured and fading fast and Wesley is left alone with this other guy. Anyway I'm not going to describe it all but Wesley ends up saving Picards life but both nearly don't survive the encounter.

The way my eyes lit up when Picard admitted that he wanted to take Wesley on the mission because he was going to miss him and that he was so proud of him, well, let's just say I have internalized that and plan to use it for some angst. I think I could do something similar with Agent Phoenix and Reginald tbh. Or even John Juniper with Phoenix. I don't know which way I'm going here but yeah.

Also I am completely reworking my IEYTD timeline because Phoenix now legally has to have watched Star Trek as a teenager and seen Wil Wheaton John Juniper as teenage Wesley Crusher.

Also I need John Juniper to wear this outfit

It'll do him some good. I need him to still own it too. Christ I want to own it.

If you actually read all of this, I'm so sorry it amounted to nothing. I just wanted to talk about Wesley Crusher. I want to protect him. He's just a little guy, how could anyone hate him? He is just a little guy.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Narrator voice: unfortunately for Phoenix, this would awaken something within them.

Agent Phoenix, kidnapped and completely at the mercy of John Juniper: ...This better not awaken anything in me.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

I think that would be the insult that led to Juniper attempting murder

Juniper: You played me like a fiddle!

The Fabricator: No, no, Juniper. Fiddles are actually difficult to play. I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Honestly very valid

*during ieytd 3*

Agent Phoenix: Dr. Prism got me a "Get Better Soon" card.

Handler: That's nice of her!

Agent Phoenix: I wasn't sick, she just thought I could do better.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

What's a line or moment from your fics that never fail to make you chuckle or laugh? /nf

Oh I love this question! Thank you for asking it! In ALL of my fanfics, it's one Spider-man one that goes

MJ: Peter you can't just adopt a kid to fix your problems!

Peter: I didn't-

MJ: really?! Because it looks like you did!

Or something like that. But IEYTD specifically? Probably when Phoenix is badly injured and covered in blood but refuses to stay in bed and instead sits on Reginald's white couch while Reginald yells in the background. That's a good moment lol.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

If you do, I'd like to see it!

Agent Phoenix: *arguing with Zor* AND ANOTHER THING-

Zor: *pulls out a gun*

Agent Phoenix: *pulls out their gun* AS I WAS SAYING-

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Thank you very much.

Agent Phoenix: *arguing with Zor* AND ANOTHER THING-

Zor: *pulls out a gun*

Agent Phoenix: *pulls out their gun* AS I WAS SAYING-

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Reginald: oh goodness, another crash on this road. It seems to happen a lot these days- PHOENIX BACK IN THIS CAR RIGHT NOW!

Phoenix: *currently sticking their entire upper body out the window* BUT THE DRIVERS ARE FIGHTING! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

John heard them loud and clear. He was just hoping they would say it again

John Juniper: *getting into costume for a cameo he's doing in a Western*

Agent Phoenix: you are going to look so ridiculous in your big hat and big boots.

John Juniper: *walks out looking like the finest cowboy ever to walk the earth* I know I look stupid but- you okay?

Agent Phoenix: *blushing so hard it hurts* yep!

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

John Juniper: *getting into costume for a cameo he's doing in a Western*

Agent Phoenix: you are going to look so ridiculous in your big hat and big boots.

John Juniper: *walks out looking like the finest cowboy ever to walk the earth* I know I look stupid but- you okay?

Agent Phoenix: *blushing so hard it hurts* yep!

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

John Juniper: *looking longingly at an expensive watch in a store window* I miss being able to afford nice things.

Agent Phoenix: *appearing out of nowhere* do you want it? I'll buy it for you. Or steal it. Your choice.

John Juniper: where did you even come from?! I took the only car and left you at home!

Agent Phoenix: you didn't check the trunk! Anyway do you want it or not? Trick question, you're getting it.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Reginald: oh, is there any way Roxana could possibly be any more gorgeous?

Agent Phoenix: she could be wearing a mask.

Agent Phoenix: ...

Agent Phoenix: I MEANT BECAUSE MASKS ARE HOT! I WASN'T SAYING SHE NEEDS TO HIDE HER FACE! OH MY GOD DON'T THINK THAT! I JUST HAVE A THING FOR MASKS!

Reginald: ... You know, Phoenix. *Thinking back on how fast Phoenix fell in love with John* that actually answers a lot of questions I've had about you.

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements