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20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @starfleetwitch you dont mind if I get my lawyer in the room for these do you?

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*Consults with Lawyer*

Ahem... to my knowledge, there are 4 on Ao3. HAH! Cant catch me that easily old sport!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

I've been reliably informed its currently 42,037. Is this an interrogation or a friendly chat? Come on come one. Get to it, we all have homes to get back to.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

*Lawyer mumbles something in my ear*

Your honor, I can disclose that I've written for Holby City and Doctor who/ Unit AND NOTHING ELSE!

*Murmuring in the courtroom*

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

According to my carefully maintained and TOTALLY innocent paper work:

We're both adults

What happens at the office party stays at the office party

The Princess's Language lesson

I have a proposal

IN THAT ORDER. Go head, check the data. I'm telling the truth, your honor. Honest as an... honest... thing...

5. Do you respond to comments?

I AM NOTHING BUT INNOCENT AND KIND AND GRACIOUS IN MY COMMENTS.

*bangs the table*

WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF HERE?!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

*panicked murmuring from the lawyer*

Due to the nature of the written documents in question, I've been advised to not mention The Princess's Language lesson

*Sound of a lawyer face palming*

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

We're both adults your honor! It's nothing but pure happiness from start to finish, I SWEAR your honor. I am nothing but a writer of pure fluff and happiness, I've never written anything else in my life WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO your honor.

*looks down to see the lawyer has written SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! on a piece of paper*

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No your honor. I have a person blocking me from posting certain things but thats a whole separate thing unrelated to this case WHICH YOU'LL HAVE TO GET A WARRANT to question me on. SO THERE!

*Lawyer pulls out a bottle of whiskey and starts necking it*

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lawyer:

Me:

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

*Lawyer knows we're fucked now and just straight up leaves*

Oh e...errr.... erm.... Oh god... shit. Fuck. Erm... Just the one published currently... errr... C-c-can I possibly get another lawyer?

*The Princess's Language lesson falls out of my pocket*

SHIT DON'T LOOK AT THAT! ITS ABOUT A FAIRY PRINCESS LEARNING TO SPEAK! ITS SO BORING AND INNOCENT! DONT LOOK AT IT! ITS TOTALLY NOT KATE STEWART ABSOLUTELY WRECKING MALCOM TUCKER FROM THE THICK OF IT! I SWEAR! ITS JUST BORING BABY SHIT ABOUT A PRINCESS AND MAGICAL PONIES! 😭😭😭

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

*Uncontrollable sobbing*

If I did, would that help my case?!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

*Absolute wailing as I wish a bad translation could explain away my sins*

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

*Sobering*

YES! BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THEIR NAME! I DONT GRASS! SNITCHES GET STITCHES!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Kate Stewart WITH LITERALLY ANY FEMALE! No... no wait BERENA! NO WAIT KATE STEWART!!!!! NO BERENA!

FUCK IT! KATE STEWART/ BERENA IF I CAN HAVE ONLY ONE! UNLIKE YOU YOU SICK FUCK I DONT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY FAVS! I LOVE THEM ALL EQUALLY AND HAVE THEM LOVED EQUALLY!

*The Princess's Language lesson falls out of my pocket again*

I SAID DONT FUCKING LOOK AT THAT!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

THATS SUCH A PERSONAL QUESTION AND ITS REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

*A fic about Serena wearing a strap falls out of my pocket*

STOP LOOKING AT THE SHIT THATS FALLING OUT OF MY POCKETS YOU WIERDO!

*A Zoe and Frankie locked in a records room WIP and a Jacqui with a tied up EVIL!Kate WIP fall out of my pocket making an awful racket as they roll around the floor like a tin can filled with nails at 3am when you're trying not to wake the house*

Before you say anything... I've never seen those documents in my life. They were CLEARLY planted on me in some CONSPIRACY to paint my character as a writer of FILTH.

I'd like this incident struck from the record please

*A currently 10,000 word WIP thats just PWP Kate/Serena/Bernie also falls out of my pocket*

What even is the point of pockets in women's trousers these days?! CAN'T HOLD SHIT!

16. What are your writing strengths?

*Still recovering and stuffing the wips back into my shallow ass pockets*

Apparently I've written some really decent GAY!straight sex, but I can't tell you why people have said that. I have NEVER written smut in my life!

*The Princess's Language lesson falls out of my pocket again*

I'm gonna mc fuckin' loose it in a second

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

*Trying not to cry again*

Finishing things. Posting things I HAVE finished. Getting my creations past the person I mentioned earlier that blocks me from posting shit. Again fuck you though, you need to open up a whole new court case to get me to talk about that.

SNITCHES. GET. STITCHES. Your honor.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Please be clear on your questions, your honor. I'm clearly struggling here. I dont know what this means. Is this a controversial point? Do people in general have opinions on characters using their own language at times?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

You honor. I come to you on my knees a shattered shell of a human being. I am a broken horse. Please dont rub salt in my wounds that I completed straight smut before I completed gay smut and just accept that it was an unspecified part of the Jemma Redgrave cinematic universe.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

We're both adults! I had a very specific writing method for that fic and though it took me a year to complete, I COMPLETED IT and I was happy with the result.

*The Princess's Language lesson falls out of my pocket again*

Lets just... get the tags over and done with. Interrogation over. I feel like I just got RINSED.

@ktlsyrtis @seahorsepencils @colourmestoked04 @akaanonymouth @shippingsincebeforeyouwereborn @lapalfruity @kowarth @backjustforberena

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Special thank you to @ktlsyrtis for the inspiration and to a very productive zoom documentary on bee keeping

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I LOVE THESE 🤣🤣🤣

I made a few memes inspired by @defo-not-sfw ‘s latest fic

Yall should go check it out

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Hey,where are you looking at,Bernie?

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Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Holby City Rating: Explicit Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe Additional Tags: The car was a paid actor, medical convention, Stuck in the snow, there was only one room at the inn, fireside dinner, There Was Only One Bed, the heat went out, Berenice wolfe doesn't wear jammies, First Time, Face Sitting, Cunnilingus, Post first kiss, Awkwardness, Pre-Relationship, Bernie Wolfe is an awkward bean so Serena takes charge Summary:

Polite reminder that you're only ever a few classic tropes away from a gay old time

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Rating: Explicit Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe Additional Tags: The car was a paid actor, medical convention, Stuck in the snow, there was only one room at the inn, fireside dinner, There Was Only One Bed, the heat went out, Berenice wolfe doesn't wear jammies, First Time, Face Sitting, Cunnilingus, Post first kiss, Awkwardness, Pre-Relationship, Bernie Wolfe is an awkward bean so Serena takes charge Summary:

Polite reminder that you're only ever a few classic tropes away from a gay old time

AT LONG LAST I’VE POSTED A BERENA FIC! 

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You know what I love? The fact we see that Bernie Wolfe gets jealous in canon.

I feel like there is this general fanon that Serena also is known to be jealous/ can get jealous easily (and I love to read it in fics myself) but we don’t get to see that in the show because Bernie’s other love interests have already moved on by the time she and Serena get together. And I think that Alex showing up in S21 is overshadowed by Bernie’s death so any jealously Serena has is wrapped up in her own grief and regret.

But Bernie! I am always so pleased to see her jealous. She’s pouty, she’s passive aggressive, and not at all subtle. Bernie, who can keep her feelings on lock under pressure, who carried on a secret affair for how long, and was in the closet for a good portion of her life is unable to keep from letting her jealousy shine through.

Forever a fan of jealous Bernie Wolfe.

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Celtic Dino knot series by Canadian artist Wade Moravec

dominion over all the land before we started building our empires of old long before the dawn of man ages when there were just dinosaurs

futhark translation by @wdcmaxy

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EL VIAJE by Fabio Lopez (DOURONE)

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Ivan Meštrović Dve Vdovi (Two Widows), 1909 (detail)

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James Montgomery Flagg (Pelham Manor, New York 1877 – 1960) - La esgrimista. “The fencer”

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Have you REALLY lost your scissors if you aren't walking around making scissor motions with your fingers in an attempt to lure them back out?

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Please look at this absolutely fucking haunting photo @misdirectedhex sent me of her glow-in-the-dark tentacle dildo sitting on her bathroom counter.

This is PEAK ART

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kind of gay for women to wear button-up blouses/shirts. why are you wearing a shirt with buttons on it? to have your buttons loosened by another woman’s tender hands?

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Tenaya Sims

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