delusionyal

[delusionyal]

I think it's funny (annoying) how people will call Tumblr the "autism site" and then get mad at anyone that's autistic doesn't understand "unspoken rules" or takes things at face value or doesn't understand their post/comment was sarcastic (when there was 0 indication of it being sarcastic and people genuinely say things like that) or

[delusionyal]

It's kind of annoying how being otherkin or alterhuman is treated like it's exclusively something for kids. Even other alterhumans like to "defend" being alterhuman by saying it's "just kids having fun" or "why are you bullying MINORS (alterhumans)?". I'm sick of it being seen as something that people grow out of as soon as they hit 18. I am also sick of people acting like it's only bad to bully (x) group of "freaks" because they're...minors. as if that's the issue.

[delusionyal]

Why does being really sleepy either make u feel mellow and content or like you're going to actually kill yourself for real this time & no in-between

[delusionyal]

OCD will have you saying things like "I can't eat that anymore because I stepped out of the room without covering it and it was out of my sight for approximately 20 seconds." And "I can't eat those apples I asked for because they might be full of bugs." And other normal things.

[delusionyal]

Showing your favorite song to someone is so embarrassing lol what if I get a bad grade at my own taste and interests....

[delusionyal]

Physical therians are valid,

Chosen therians are valid,

Mentally ill therians are valid,

Delusional therians are valid,

Traumatized therians are valid,

And all of you need to SHUT THE FUCK UP about them before I start making blocklists of your pathetic asses.

[delusionyal]

i don't recognize myself.

[delusionyal]

i do not belong here.

[delusionyal]

Memory issues vent.

I can't remember what's real and what isn't. I keep almost saying things that I shouldn't out loud because I'm so lost in my thoughts. I can't remember if I've done the things I need to do. Writing notes, crossing things off, it doesn't work. It doesn't work, because no matter how quickly I get to cross it off after finishing my task I still wonder "did I actually do that or did I imagine it?"

I can't remember the majority of my life. Every now and then a memory pops up and I have to wonder "did this actually happen or did I make it up?". My family has a perception of me that I don't understand because I don't remember any of the events they're talking about. Even the things I do remember don't feel like they happened to me.

I love my pets, I love animals in general. When my cat, who I knew for almost my entire life, passed away, after only a few hours of her passing it felt like it had been months. I knew that cat for nearly 17 years. I forget I ever even had her. When my rabbit passed away I cried only for five minutes and then continued what I was doing. I forgot he was gone until I saw his empty enclosure, and I wondered "where did he go?". I knew he was dying, I knew when I saw him that morning he wouldn't survive the day, but how could I move on so quickly? How could I forget about him so fast? I had him for 6 years, I played with him every single day for 6 years. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. I forget I ever even had him.

I forget about everything once it's gone. I don't remember my past pets. I don't remember what they were like, I don't remember almost any of my time with them other than a flicker of a memory here or there. Looking at pictures of them rarely makes me feel anything. It's no different than looking at a picture of an animal I've never known.

I can't remember the things people tell me. I can't remember if the conversation actually happened or if I just thought about it, if I just made it up. I can't get a job because I'm agoraphobic, I wouldn't be able to hold a job anyway because I need someone to hold my hand through everything or else I'll just stand there, wondering if I remembered the instructions correctly. Wondering if I'm going to do something wrong. What kind of useless human am I? What purpose does my life even serve? Am I alive just to be a burden to others? I hate being like this. I don't know how to fix myself.

[delusionyal]

i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.

[delusionyal]

100% of my mistakes happen when nobody warns me not to do something, because it didn't cross my mind that doing the way I figured I should do it was completely wrong, and nobody warned me not to do it that way because it didn't cross their mind that anyone could find such a new and novel way to do it completely wrong.

[delusionyal]

Why are streaming services these days all named shit like Fubi and Hehu and lala

[delusionyal]

I'm not fond of plain chocolate on its own. We were gifted some chocolate for christmas, and it occurred to me that I can use it to make brownies!

I am now waiting for my suspicious brown sludge to cool down.

[delusionyal]

Domestic housewife?

Nah, but I've got a feral wildhusband. I don't know if it's legal to keep one as a pet in the first place but I'm pretty sure that it's not ethical to keep one in a city apartment block.

[delusionyal]

Aren't you tired of being human?

Don't you just wanna go FOXSHIT?

[delusionyal]

Kinda nonhuman because mental illness, kinda nonhuman because not being properly socialized as a kid, kinda nonhuman because queer, kinda nonhuman because angry at humanity, kinda nonhuman because longing for the unconditional love of a pet and it’s master, and kinda nonhuman because secret sixth thing.

[delusionyal]