desperatelyreviewingdennis

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

The Flash, “A Flash of the Lightning”

“Faced with the news of his impending death, Barry’s resiliency suffers as he struggles to fight fate.”

First of all, I don’t feel like doing an entire write up, but I found it hilarious that the first episode of Supergirl and the first episode of The Flash this season both involved the hero running into a black hole.  Just real top notch stuff there.

This episode was considerably more entertaining to me.  They double downed on the whole “Barry’s gonna die” lie, but I was okay with it.  They went with “OK I guess this is happening” rather than “OK lets figure out how to stop this” so it doesn’t feel like they’re setting us up for a repeat of Season 3.  I mean, they still might be, but this was a good way of handling it.  Acknowledge that Barry wouldn’t just ignore the coming catastrophe, but make it clear the next few months aren’t going to be dedicated to it either.

The scene where he Doctor Stranges the Crisis was a little weak.  The chose to actually show us what he was seeing, but all we saw was one instance of everybody dying, then Barry getting dusted.  It didn’t really feel like he was watching a billion timelines, it just felt like one.  They could have done it like Dr. Strange and just not shown us anything, or else elaborated on the visualization more, but this half attempt just fell flat.  Perhaps show the explosion several times, with Team Flash dying in different ways each time.  Like four seconds each, and a different member can be the focus each time so it doesn’t feel too repetitive.  Then wrap up with him dusting.

Quick observation: The Monitor [have we been told his name? I don’t remember but Iris definitely felt pretty confident calling him that] was introduced via a story about Barry and Oliver switching bodies.  “The Flash” has to die, but nobody said anything about Barry having to die.  

I do hope they wrap up the Killer Frost storyline quick, its pretty dull.  And correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t she already lived an independent life for a while back when she was first introduced?  I feel like Caitlin got taken over for a spell, there was a whole thing about Cisco needing to fight her.  

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

The Flash, “Into The Void”

I mostly watch the Arrowverse because I enjoy Arrow and The Flash.  Then they have the crossover episodes and I feel compelled to watch all the rest so I can understand what’s going on.  Supergirl is pretty bland.  Legends of Tomorrow was terrible, although the last season kinda grew on me a bit.  Arrow hasn’t really been good for a few years, but The Flash I still love.

Which made this episode all the more painful.  I couldn’t care about literally anything.  

It was neat how they not only blatently copied Heroes, they hired the same guy to do it.  I’m actually a little intrigued by that, they can’t possibly do Mohinder dirtier than they did.

So a guy created an artificial black hole, and when he touched it half his brain got sucked into the black hole and how he controls black holes?  But because he lost half his brain he’s doing it from a coma? And to fix it Barry has to run into the black hole and grab his missing brain? Yeah, that’s the dumbest shit.

Plus the black holes are super picky about how powerful they are.  The first one we encounter picks a guy up and tries to suck him up, but Iris is able to grab him and keep herself in place without holding onto anything?  Impressive.  Same thing happens at the climax, some people are getting yanked off their feet, others can just stand there looking at it without so much as their hair getting ruffled.

So the A plot was dumb as shit.  None of the B plots were any good either, though.  Killer Frost doesn’t like being back seat to Caitlin.  Its the Hulk/Banner conflict from Infinity War, but they actually wrap it up with a nice heart to heart. Boring.  They could expand on it with a “Killer Frost doesn’t want to give up her life” arc, but we’ve kind of already done that one.  Barry and Iris are mourning Nora, that was okay.  Definitely a needed arc, but they blew it at the end by having Crossover Man show up.  “I needed you to be sad so you’re ready when  you need to be sad in the future.”  Oh come on.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m excited for the Crisis On Infinite Earths story.  But they can’t go overboard on this jack ass popping in all the time to remind us its coming.  Just let it happen.  And hopefully they remember that literally nobody believes Allen is going to vanish, whatever Crossover Guy and Future Room says.  This is the last season of Arrow, not of the Flash.  

Season 3 worked because Iris could have been killed off.  You don’t believe its going to happen, at all, but there’s still that suspense.  But with this the only question is what shenanegans they’re going to pull to make the headline technically true without ruining the show.  Presumably it’ll be a single episode cliffhanger that’ll get resolved when they return from the mid season break.  That works, but don’t build up to it the entire first half of the season.

Final thoughts: I really hope Tom Kavanaugh shows up.  Its kind of a silly gimmick but I love the rotating Harrison Wells.  I’m sure I could check the internet to see if he’s on the cast or not, but there’s real potential to ruin surprises doing that.  And they’re building a machine that lets them see all possible outcomes of their choices?  That’s awesome.  Hopefully it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands, that seems like it could make for a great villain.  Maybe somebody in a wheel chair? And maybe they should do it two seasons ago instead of now?

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

Joker (2019)

This movie was phenomenal.

I honestly wasn't sure what to expect. I was interested almost entirely due to Joaquin Phoenix's involvement, but even then I wasn't expecting much from Todd Phillips of all people. Don't get me wrong, Old School is one of my favorite movies. But it's not exactly an encouraging pedigree when you're considering a dark, gritty thriller.

But the hype got to me. Good job, Warner Brothers; your manufactured incel shooters controversy won you at least one ticket sale. I hope you're proud of yourself.

So I went to watch it opening night so that I could view it untainted by whatever reviews I stumble upon before it's eventual digital release. There's going to be people that say it's terrible and other people that shout it's praises, all for political reasons, and I didn't want to slog through them. My opinions are easily malleable I'm not proud of it but here we are.

And I'm glad I did. Todd Phillips, you are officially forgiven for Road Trip.

There's not much to be said that doesn't drift into spoilers. The acting is amazing by everybody involved. The score is great, the pacing pretty good. Pick a metric and they probably get a good score.

Gun to my head, my biggest complaint would be that there's no central conflict driving the plot. It's just a story about a guy. Stuff happens to him, he happens to stuff, it's fascinating. I'm in no way demeaning the script. It's just not my cup of tea, I like there to be a clear goal the characters are working towards. It can be separate from the actual story, but I still like it to be there. To pull from the TPCU (Todd Phillips Cinematic Universe), in Old School the story was definitely about Luke Wilson character's growth, but it was in the framework of the "three dudes trying to keep the local college from stealing their house" plot.

But that's 100% a me thing. I was still competely engrossed in what was going on, and honestly the movie probably would have suffered from having such a conflict. Sometimes that's the way it goes, which is why such stories exist in the first place.

And it's funny because I remember watching movies in the past and thinking "this movie would be so much better if they hadn't tacked that completely unnecessary conflict on at the end" but I guess now I'm just some basic bitch that needs to have his stories spoon fed to him.

With that out of the way, let's get into a more detailed discussion.

First of all, this isn't a comic book movie. Let's get that out of the way real quick. It would take maybe fifteen seconds to rewrite the script into an entirely original IP with no relation to any DC properties, and it would still work. Honestly you could even keep the name, but you'd probably be better off renaming it Jester or something just to be safe. IP law is fucking crazy.

And I don't mean that in the sense of "just call Batman Nite Owl and we won't have to pay realities." I mean it would still succeed as a standalone movie, people would just think it was about some psycho in 1970s Chicago. No big deal.

BUT

Being a Joker movie still manages to improve the experience.

Part of the Joker's mystique is that he doesn't have an origin story. They've told one a couple times in the past, but it's assumed that none of them are real. The Joker is the definition of an unreliable narrator. They play with this in The Dark Knight, where he tells at least two conflicting stories for how he got his scars.

And they play with it here, too, in two different ways.

The first is pretty superficial. His literally doesn't know his own past, and only comes to realize this as the movie progresses. At first he thinks his father just abandoned them, then he learns that his father is Thomas Wayne (yes, this would make him Batman's brother), then he learns that not only is he not Thomas Wayne's son (sorry to get your hopes up Bruce) but he was adopted so he never even knew his biological mother. Oh also his adopted mother was horribly abusive and probably the cause of his "condition."

But on a slightly deeper level, we learn even the events we're shown weren't reliable. At first it's obvious day dreams: he imagines himself a guest on his mother's favorite late night talk show and giving a stand up routine at a comedy club. But both are while he's in the audience and we're shown him snapping back to reality. But later we witness an entire relationship bloom between him and a neighbor, and only find out well after the fact that none of it actually happened. So even as we're watching the Joker's origin story it's getting retconned in real time.

That realization about the fake relationship shakes the entire movie to it's core. The story is told entirely from Arthur's point of view, there is only one scene without him present. If he can insert a girlfriend into his story, what else did he add?

My guess? Basically everything.

There is one scene you can take at face value. Him talking to, and presumably killing, the therapist at the end. He's Kaiser Soze-ing her.

Starting at him shooting Robert De Niro, he’s suddenly in a cop car.  No real idea how he got there, did he surrender or was there a fight or what?  Then miraculously he’s broken free, and everybody present knows who he is and idolizes him.  How convenient.  But then the very next scene is him with the therapist, so he’s been captured again.  Again, how? 

But he’s been a central figure in the uprising the entire time.  He triggered the damn thing.  As his own mental state deteriorates throughout the movie, the state of the city also deteriorates.  So that’s probably fake as well.

Also consider that there’s only one scene in the entire movie that Arthur isn’t present for.  The murder of the Waynes.  And oh, he was responsible for that as well.

Doesn’t that all just make more sense if its stuff he’s making up?  Presumably there’s some element of truth to it.  There probably were riots, they were probably triggered by three white guys getting shot on the subway, the talk show host was probably killed.  Arthur might even have killed him, it was recorded live so kinda hard to fake that one.  But the connecting pieces -- his mother, his relationship to Thomas Wayne, the subway murders -- were just him having a laugh at the expense of the therapist who probably thought she was getting somewhere with him.

I know I’m probably overanalyzing it.  I’m making excuses for what’s maybe not great writing by inventing a meta narrative that explains away any inconsistency.  But I really really like this version of the script, 

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“The Storyteller”

“Sisko and Kira play host on the space station to the leaders of two rival Bajoran factions -- the Paqu and the Navot.”

Look, there’s only one Host, and that’s Lorne (RIP Andy Hallett).  But I can forgive them this minor offense since that character wouldn’t be created for another seven years.  

If you’re hosting something, I imagine there’s a good chance you’ll end up in a bar.  And since his uncle owns the bar on DS9, this might be my chance to watch an episode in honor of Nog.  I don’t have the energy to watch a third one tonight, so *fingers crossed.*

(It turns out I didn’t have the energy for even the second episode, so this is all occurring the next day :( BUT Aron’s name was on the opening credits so odds appear to be in my favor)

This episode caught me a little off guard.  The cold open made it seem like the A plot would be Sisko trying to negotiate peace between these two factions, and the B plot would be Bashir and O’Brien becoming friends.  it turns out, the A plot was actually Bashir and O’Brien, and the B plot was Nog having a crush on a a girl.  If I had bothered watching the trailer I liked up there I probably wouldn’t have been so surprised.

The A plot kinda sucked.  O’Brien is tasked with escorting Bashir to some sick Bajoran village.  He clearly doesn’t want to, because Bashir is creepy as shit.  Like god damn. They get to the village, and the village wizard is sick and he’s the only one that has the magic to keep the demons from killing everybody.  

When the evil demon attacked I assumed they were going for it all being a scam, like Aunt Wu.

But then stuff actually started to get destroyed by the cloud monster.  Turns out, it was all a scam, but it was in order to keep the people united against a common enemy?  It was dumb as shit, and I don’t like episodes with just dumb magic.  Its a sci-fi series, at least pretend like there’s a technical explanation.

Yeah, I know, this is the same franchise that gave us Q, and in the pilot for DS9 there were the wormhole gods.  But I still don’t have to like it.  There’s some back and for between Bashir and O’Brien that’s not terrible, but the surrounding plot was just blah.

But B plot was okay, though.  One of the two factions is led by a teenage girl that is clearly not prepared for leadership.  But she’s doing the best she can, she’s in a tough position and I feel for her.

But she’s also cute as a button, and Nog wants a piece of that action.  Him and Jake are perfectly adorable as cringy teenage boys with crushes.  There’s one hilarious scene where Nog says his dad is smart and Jake just sort of shakes his head like “nah dude Rom is dumb as fuck” but he doesn’t want to call out Nog in front of the girl. I thought for sure they were going to go for a “the girl likes Jake more and that leads to Rom and Jake having a falling out” but thankfully they avoided it.  Nothing really came of the whole crush thing, but Nog does use his Ferengi training to help the girl solve the issues between the two tribes.  

Ninth Rule of Acquisition: “Opportunity Plus Instinct Equals Profit”

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Battle Lines”

“Kai Opaka, Bajor’s spiritual leader, pays a surprise visit to the station.”

Before getting into the episode, Aron Eisenberg (The actor who played Nog) passed away a few hours ago.  Obviously I can’t pretend to be a huge fan of his work, but I did encounter him more than once on Facebook.  I’ve never seen a celebrity more active with the fan base outside the usual conventions and whatnot.  He seemed like a truly good person, and his loss will be felt.  (F) good sir.

So Kai Opaka is in this one, so I got pretty bummed that they were going to bring back the Magic Orb Hunt from the pilot.  But I was pleasantly surprised, as they didn’t even enter the plot.  I should have watched this episode weeks ago, but life and a desire to not hunt magic orbs prevented it.

I started this series because I didn’t want to watch another serialized drama.  I enjoy stand alone episodes of television, and there seems to be a real dearth of them right now outside of sitcoms.  But this episode is a good example of where more longform setups can be beneficial.  This episode would have really benefited from being a two-parter.  There were several little threads that there just wasn’t time to expand on.  It still worked, I just think it would have worked better with more time for world building.

The episode starts with some Cardassian files being found that explain Kira wasn’t very well respected as a member of the rebellion.  She does not like this one bit.  The scene was funny enough, but we’ll circle back around to it later.  You then learn Opaka has come to visit the station.  She’s never left Bajor before, she spends some lines discussing “prophecy,” she gives Miles a necklace for his daughter.  Long story short, she’s clearly not going to survive the episode.

Sure enough, they take her through the wormhole, and she dies in a crash landing.  Oops.

But that’s where things get interesting.  They get captured by Mike from Breaking Bad, but they’re attacked by an enemy faction and Mike is killed.  Then both Mike and the Kai are resurrected.  Crazy.  Come to find out they’re on a prison planet, and the punishment is some sort of “I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream” situation.  If any of them die, they are just resurrected. Its implied that they’ve been there for hundreds, possibly thousands of years.  No food, no entertainment, just non stop war.  It sounds positively terrifying.  

Mike is clearly torn between a desire to finally be allowed to die, and a thirst for vengeance against his enemies.  But that’s only touched on in a few lines.  Sisko tries to negotiate a cease fire so he can transport all of them off the moon, and Mike goes from supporting the plan to admitting he won’t leave until the others are all dead to actively fighting in the space of about four seconds. Later, Bashir suggests they might be able to cure them of their immortality, and we again get a single line about how they would use it to win the war before moving on.  Its a potentially fascinating subject, but the structure of the episode left them no room to explore it.  

They try to tie it into Kira’s growth with an incredibly powerful scene between her and the Kai.  Kira has been a warrior her whole life, but the war is over and she wants to move on, but that’s all she knows how to be.  Its honestly moving, Nana Visitor knocks it out of the park  Unfortunately, it is in the same episode that she learns the Cardassians didn’t consider her much of a warrior and that fact infuriated her.  Had the cold open been tacked onto a different episode it wouldn’t have been so bad.  Its not unreasonable that she would both want to put her violent past behind her, and take some pride in what she accomplished in the war.  But the contrast is pretty stricking in such close proximity, and they don’t really have a chance to expand on it. 

A two part episode would have allowed them to really dig into these concepts instead of just skimming the surface.  

Anyhow, though, the episode is still really solid.  Not quite Move Along Home quality, but a solid 8 for sure.

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Vortex”

“While haggling with a pair of Miradorns over a valuable goblet, Quark is interrupted by a newly arrived alien demanding the goblet for himself.”

The first half of this episode was a little bland, but it picked up steam in the second half.  6 out of 10, maybe? Finally learning a little more about Odo.  Or rather, learning that we know nothing about Odo, but neither does he.  There’s a lot of potential here.

The “newly arrived alien” is the first of his kind to traverse the wormhole, and when we first meet him he seems almost drunk.  Just absolutely not interested in stealing the “goblet.”  (Scare quotes because the “goblet” looks an awful lot like an egg to me.)  I chalked this up to bad acting, but come to find out the guy legitimately isn’t particularly interested in stealing.  In fact, he might not be a bad guy at all.  He’s in a bit of a Josef K situation, in that he’s not sure what he’s done wrong but apparently he has to deal with the consequences.  So that was neat, if it was intentional.  I want to believe.

Odo apparently doesn’t know that “organic material” and “lifeform” aren’t interchangeable.  He literally says “you mean its alive” and Bashir doesn’t call him a retard.  Bit of a missed opportunity.

Oh and we’re officially introduced to the big fellow that hangs out at Quarks.  He was in the first episode, and then in the last episode he got kicked out when the Grand Nagus wanted some privacy.  Apparently his name is Morn.  Hi Morn.

Quark’s involvement was just a way to drive the A plot, it didn’t really go anywhere on its own.  I kinda felt like there was a dangling plot line there.  There was a brief moment where Quark seemed to be trying to figure out how to save Odo without putting himself in danger, but it was just in his tone of voice they didn’t do anything with it.

Also Sisko kept referring to it as a homo-cide, and I’m pretty sure the Miradorns were brothers, not lovers.  But who am I to judge?

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

Rise of the Skywalker Predictions

It has been an exciting couple of days for people that hate Star Wars as much as Star Wars fans do, I tell you what.

And we have a new poster to mock.

Boy that’s a piece of work.  We’ll start with that, then loop back to the trailer.  Rey and Kylo fight.  Again.  Yay.  Obviously they have to confront one another, but it sure would have been nice if they had figured out another way of doing it.  This didn’t end well for Benny the first two times, but the third time’s the charm, I’m sure it’ll go better for him.

But that’s not the important thing.

Evidence seems to suggest that they used a toy for Palpie’s picture instead of actual footage of the actor.  Inference: Palpie isn’t actually in the movie which is why there’s not a proper picture for them to use.  My guess has always been that they weren’t resurrecting the guy, but I wasn’t willing to dismiss the possibility of a dark side force ghost.  But with this information, I don’t think he’s even around in that capacity.  His voice in the trailers is either the world’s biggest red herring, or its Kylo going crazy.  He’s murdered his mentor, so now he’s looking for a new teacher, and he hallucinates lectures from the former emperor. They’re mostly going to be antagonistic.  You’re no Darth Vader.  You’re not half the man he was. That sort of thing.  Its going to drive him mad.

So what does the trailer tell us?  First of all, it tells us that they seriously hate Rian Johnson.  All the bull shit he shoved into TLJ about killing the past?  Yeah, never mind.  Remember the past.  Please, please, remember when our movies didn’t suck?  Over half of the trailer is dedicated to the pervious movies, almost all of it original trilogy and hardly anything from 7 and 8.  Poor misunderstood Rian.

First actual new footage: Chewie, Rey, Poe, Finn, and C3P0 on a desert planet. No sign of Rose Tico, New life for Finn/Poe shippers?  My guess, this is legit Tatooine.  Kylo’s obsession with Darth Vader is gonna take him back to Granddad’s birthplace, and they’re gonna give chase.

Quick shot of Leia.

Meat and potatoes shots: a bunch of original trilogy Rebel ships.  X-, Y-, A-, and B-Wings for sure.  None of the ridiculous bombers from TLJ.  Too many given the size of the Resistance when last we saw them.  Poor, misunderstood Rian.  But then, a bunch of original trilogy Empire ships.  Countless Star Destroyers.  Too many Star Destroyers.  

This is framed as though its two sides of a battle coming together.  But I think that’s a feint.  Those Star Destroyers are a leftover cache of supplies the Emperor hid away somewhere, and the Resistance found it.  This is the shot of reinforcements coming to rescue of the beleaguered Resistance forces.

Cut to Finn in a ship, presumably reacting to the sudden appearance of a thousand Star Destroyers.  Behind him is a woman... not Rose.  Poor, misunderstood Rian.

Cut to C3PO with crazy red eyes.  People are calling this Evil C3PO, or he could be another protocol droid all together.  Personally, I think the most respectful thing you could do to a beloved coward of a character is turn them into a hardened war machine, and J.J. has shown nothing but respect for the franchises he’s worked on.  So obviously Lando uninstalled L337 from the Falcon, and installed her into C3PO.  No, I’m not joking.

God I wish I were joking.

Giant laser beam hitting a planet.  

Rey throws a lightsaber and cuts down a bunch of trees for no reason.  ?  She then catches the lightsaber.  Its blue, like Anakin’s.  Which was destroyed, but Rey does have the books that presumably explain how to build a new light saber.  Hard to make a prediction here.

Cut to Kylo and Rey fighting.  Discussed that above.  

Real money shot: Rey, looking totes evil.  She’s holding a double bladed red lightsaber.  The blades are side by side.  Then the extra blade spins around and becomes a Darth Maul style.  This is definitely more functional than the original Darth Maul design, and not at all flashy bull shit.

Prediction: Sith Rey is absolutely a red herring.  If this scene exists at all (I’m not willing to dismiss the possibility that this is a “Hulk fighting in Infinity War” moment), its a force projection.  J. J. didn’t like Rian’s attempt to copy the Degobah scene from Empire, so he’s going to do it again.  Poor, misunderstood Rian.

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“The Nagus”

“Quark is approached by a Ferengi named Krax, who presents his father, Grand Nagus Zek, the revered leader of the Ferengi business empire.”

As DS9 synopses go, this one is pretty solid.

Two Quark episodes in a row.  This one was okay, but the story was a little all over the place. After my praise of “Move Along Home” this one is definitely disappointing.  Its possible, though, that its less “the writing” and more “the Ferengi.”  

So I’ll start with something I liked: they continued the Sisko/Jake/Nog arc from “Move Along Home.”  It wasn’t as well integrated, but it was still pleasing to see some continuity.  I’m watching this because I want an episodic show, but you don’t want everything to be completely static either.  

What I didn’t like was everything else.  The Ferengi are just so … weird.  Like, why are they so adamant against Nog getting an education?  I can certainly understand they’re a little xenophobic, so having a human teacher would be a red flag. I get that they’re supposed to be pretty one dimensional, just a lame ancap stereotype, but even ancaps see the value of being able to read.  

The scene where you first meet the Grand Nagus had a pretty “Wyrmtongue in Rohan” sort of feel.  The Nagus just sat there grinning like an idiot while his son did all the talking.  I honestly thought they were going to go with the Nagus being a figurehead.  But then the next time you see him, he’s not only talking just fine, but he’s Wallace Shawn!  Get a famous fellow like that and then didn’t even use him right away.  

The middle section was all right.  You could appreciate that the power was everything Quark wanted but he wasn’t really up to the task.  And I for one certainly believed his brother would turn on him, the way he gets treated.

But then at the end they just pull the rug out and reset the episode.  The Nagus didn’t really die, Quark gets demoted and forgives Rom, everything’s just the way it started.  Obviously, unless they’re writing out the character you’ve got to return to some semblance of the status quo, but they still could have handled it better.  Have the other guy trick Quark into giving up the position, for instance.  Or maybe give Rom a chance to shine, have him force Quark to step down. The possibilities are endless, but anything is better than what we got.

Also, and this is just personal preference, I think the Ferengi would be a more compelling race if they were more honorable.  Sure, go ahead and always have them looking for a way to take advantage of people, but to be outright crooks doesn’t seem very effective long term

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Move Along Home”

“Cmdr Sisko, in dress uniform, prepares to receive the first formal alien delegation from the Gamma Quadrant.”

Ok first of all, I’m positive I decided Sisko was a captain in the first episode.  It was central to my “why is Picard treating him like a little bitch” complaint.  But this summary says he’s a commander, which would explain why Picard was treating him like a little bitch.  I’ll need to pay more attention going forward.

I really liked this episode.  Easily my favorite of the ones I’ve seen so far.  Its basically a holodeck episode, but without the holodeck.  Also Quark gets a lot of attention, and who doesn’t like Principal Snyder?  its just a lot of fun.

There’s a bit of a contrast I’d like to point out in the opening scene. The episode starts, as promised, with Sisko in his dress uniform.  There’s a bit of character development with Jake, who looks super awkward getting the birds and bees talk from dear old dad.  I feel like they were shooting for Sisko to be awkward as well, but the actor just couldn’t pull it off.  But that’s not important, what’s important is the conversation gets cut short, so Sisko makes Jake promise they’ll finish the conversation in the morning.  The next morning, Sisko has gone missing, and this meeting is how Odo finds out about it.  They took what was basically a filler scene, squeezed in some character development, and then set up a tie in to the main plot later.  

The very next scene shows Bashir freaking out because he didn’t pack his dress uniform.  First of all, do replicators not replicate uniforms?  What the deal there?  Ignore that, though, Sisko shows up and gives Bashir a minor berating for being out of uniform... and then that’s it.  It literally never comes up again.  You don’t really learn anything about Bashir or Sisko, it doesn’t affect the plot in any way, there’s no real comedic or dramatic beat.  Why does this scene exist?  It wouldn’t really bother me, but it immediately followed a much more clever scene, so the contrast really stands out.

Then we move on to observe Quark desperately trying to make a profit off these new visitors, he gets caught cheating (because his staff are terrible cheaters, seriously I expected better), and the main plot gets rolling.

Here’s what I loved about this episode: they never tell you what’s going on.  They give you hints so you’re able to figure it out easily enough.  But even when Quark figures it out, nobody ever says “the four players are the four missing officers!” You just watch Quark and Odo silently piece it together.  Even through the makeup, you can feel the panic wash over Quark.  He just wants to win some gemstones, nobody was supposed to get hurt, this isn’t what he signed up for.  Its masterfully handled.

“Don’t spell out the plot” also plays into the final scene.  Quark is told one of the players has to be sacrificed, or else they’ll all perish.  So we the audience know that when Dax gets trapped under the rubble, that was the sacrifice. But they don't accept that (in part because they aren’t privy to the sacrifice mandate), so they carry her onward.  Then they get to a chasm, Dax can’t possibly jump the chasm.  so Sisko tells Kira to go on without them.  Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I suspect had Kira actually tried to jump, she would have failed.  Kira would have become the sacrifice, and Dax and Sisko would have advanced to the end.  But she also refused to leave, and so the three perished, as initially explained.

Then you get the final punchline.  “We were never in any real danger?” “Of course not, it was just a game!”  I honestly lost it at that point.  Too fucking funny.

Last observation: I dig the concept of that game.  I feel like if you tried, you could adapt it into an actual game.  I’m thinking something like Mario Party, where you have lots of little mini games, the direction of which is determined by decisions made by a third party.  

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“The Passenger”

“Traveling in a Runabout, Kira and Bashir pick up a distress signal from a disabled Kobliad ship.”

This was just a terrible episode.  I watched it twice just to make sure, and didn’t like it any more the second time.  The premise was okay (the disabled ship was carrying a psychopath that somehow faked his death and infiltrated the station), but there was just way too much going on.  You have the main “find the psychopath” plot, a shipment of deuterium Quark is trying to steal, and a new security officer bumping heads with Odo for no reason.  The deuterium was at least being stolen for the psychopath, the rookie cop plot went literally nowhere.

The opening scene was so cringe it was almost funny, though.  Bashir is bragging to Kira about how smart he is after he realized a dead person wasn’t really dead.  Then what do you know, they come upon a dead guy that maybe isn’t really dead but Julian can’t tell.  I hope the writers got a raise for that one

Couple high points, though  Quark apparently has a crush on Dax, which is totally fair she’s positively adorable.  And when taken over by a psychotic personality, Bashir managed to be *less* creepy and weird.  Seriously, does this guy have any redeeming qualities?

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Dax”

“Lt Dax, preparing to return to her quarters for the evening, is being observed by a male Trill named Selin Peers.”

Ok this one isn’t too bad.  Its a Dax episode, which is cool, I feel like she’s gotten the short end of the stick so far.  There’s gonna be some drama involving another Trill.  Not the worst summary I’ve ever seen.

Just reading the words “male trill” makes me wonder about their reproductive system.  Curious if that’s going to be explored or not.  We shall see.

Creepy Bashir is back.  I think I’m going to keep track of these in the tags, I’m guessing inappropriate advances aren't going to stop being a defining character trait for this guy.  I think I’ll  call it “Bedside Manner.”  Hashtag Double Entendre

My prediction: the General Dax is accused of killing killed himself.  Odo learned that his death was a martyr moment for the civil war they were fighting.  The general was sick or something, and wanted his death to mean something.  There’s something involved with the guy’s widow, but I’m not convinced its going to go anywhere.

I was mistaken about the summary.  She wasn’t being observed by a male Trill at all but by a “Klaestron.” Who I think is being played by the Vice President from 24.  Hard to tell in the makeup.  But that’s not important now.  What is important is that the judge in the episode is played by the secretary from Liar Liar and I adore her.

I love the legal episodes of Star Trek, and this one is no exception.  This one is a little frustrating, because there’s no way this particular precedent hasn’t already been set.  The Trill themselves almost certainly have some sort of rule for punishing crimes in this case.  And even if they don’t, surely this isn’t the first case like this to have popped up.  But still, it was interesting to see the various arguments put forth.  And they did a good job of it, at the end I’m not sure where I would fall on the issue.

They also played pretty fast and loose with time, which I guess is appropriate for an episode that stars a guy from 24.  The hearing was only supposed to have taken a couple hours, maybe two days, but Odo was able to travel all the way to another planet, conduct an investigation, and return before it ended.  The guy’s efficient, I’ll give him that.

Also, my prediction was half right.  The general did send the transmission himself, but he wasn’t expecting to die as a result.  That’s a neat bit of irony, the man betrays his people, and in so doing becomes their hero and inspires them to victory.

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Q-Less”

“The officers struggle to save the station from imminent destruction.”

Given that the name of the episode, I’m guessing this is a less than accurate description of events.  Also, how many episodes do you suppose there are going to be that center around the station facing imminent destructions?  Its like they’re not even trying, is this a Netflix thing or do they get these summaries from Paramount?

Also, I’ll have to pay attention, but I’m pretty sure O’Brien is a chief, which means he’s not an officer.  Were they just not paying attention, or will he just get sidelined?  Its a mystery! 

How convenient, they call him Chief O’Brien in the opening scene.  Its also listed that way in the title crawl.  So mystery solved.  Speaking of the title crawl, I really like the theme.  It seems more grounded, which feels appropriate for a show that’s not about exploration like the others.  

Besides the obvious Q tie-in, they bring back Vash in this one.  Its basically a sequel to the Robin Hood episode of TNG.  Was O’Brien involved in that episode?  I don’t remember specifically.  He definitely knew about Q and Vash being there, but seems to have forgotten that they ran away together at the end.

All told, another solid episode.  This show is definitely growing on me.  

I wonder if Sisko knows about Qs involvement with the Borg invading Federation space?  That was a real missed opportunity.  They haven’t really addressed his trauma since the pilot.  The wormhole ghosts presumably helped him heal somewhat, but presumably he’s not completely over the loss of his wife already.  But narratively, I don’t know if there was room to explain the backstory and address it, but it would have been a better build up to the Sisko/Q boxing match.

I kind of want to see all the Q episodes of the various shows sequentially, watch his character develop.  He was a real jerk in this one, but the scene at the end kind of made me feel for him.  He’s a little like Data, trying to understand what it means to be human, but without the desire to actually be human.  

He buys the “egg” at the auction, but for what purpose?  It might have just been a flex for Vash’s sake, but I wonder.  Maybe he knew that the creature was about to hatch, and if some other person won it here would be trouble when she couldn’t deliver as promised.  I think he was looking out for her.

Maybe she reminded him in some small way of poor, dead, Krysten Ritter?

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Captive Pursuit”

“While listening to a complaint about Quark’s lascivious behavior, Sisko is alerted that an alien vessel is coming through the wormhole.”

This summary seems like it could be accurate.  Presumably this alien vessel is the driver of the plot.  LETS SEE

Wow, they basically cold opened to Sisko learning Quark is a rapist.  That’s a pretty bold move, and it literally never comes back up in the episode.  I wonder if they’re going to expand on this, or if it was just intended as some character development.

This was a great episode.  Its the O’Brien episode I *thought* the previous one was going to be.  The “alien vessel” was piloted by an unknown species, the first from the Gamma Quadrant to come through the wormhole.  Turns out, the guy’s being hunted for sport.  Also, he wants to be hunted for sport, he gets supper bummed when the crew isn’t keen on letting him get murdered  Then, O’Brien disobeys orders so that his buddy can continue to be hunted instead of just returning home in shame

They do throw around the Prime Directive pretty willy nilly.  Off hand, every example of the Prime Directive I can think of involved species that weren’t space faring, or were barely so.  Admittedly, its been a while since I watched TNG so maybe I’m probably wrong.  But not only are these guys out exploring space, they effortlessly bypassed the station’s shields, and its suggested they genetically engineered the Tork to be sentient.  These aren’t some primitive culture.

Also Odo was kinda a little bitch in this one.  Apparently he refuses to use phasers, for some reason, but they didn’t really establish him as much of a martial artist.  If you’re going to make a point of the head of security not liking guns, maybe he should be given some other way of neutralizing threats?

And boy can Sisko command a room.  When he was berating Miles at the end, I feared for my own job.

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Babel”

“Frustrated by all of the mechanical problems on the space station, O’Brien attempts to fix the food replicators.”

These episode descriptions are almost comically bad.  Is this deliberate or did the person in charge just watch the first thirty seconds of an episode and move on?  I was rather looking forward to an O’Brien centered episode, but he got sidelined pretty quick.

Still a pretty good episode nonetheless.  I liked that the focus was more spread out, it didn’t feel like they were introducing a character like the first three episodes did.  Bashir got a little more respect, getting to play actual doctor or a change. The interplay between Quark and Odo is fascinating, although Quark’s performance at the end left a little to be desired.  Only Dax was really kinda left out.  Kira poisoned a dude in order to blackmail him into helping them, definitely a Queen Bitch move if I’ve ever seen one.  Only Dax really got left out.

One minor nitpick: it felt really weird when O’Brien first started to exhibit symptoms.  Dude was clearly having a stroke but still everybody just let him leave like nothing was wrong.  Yeah, they immediately cut to sick bay, but you’d have thought somebody would have called for Bashir sooner.  Also Bashir stated that the aphasia means O’Brien couldn’t understand what they were saying, but he sure seemed to be responding to their words easily enough.  He kept trying to respond to their questions and whatnot.  Oh, also Mr. Wax Candle Man is able to turn into a functioning cart.  That’s impressive for somebody that hasn’t quite figured out how noses work.

OK, more than one nitpick.

On a personal note, I’ve always kinda wanted to develop aphasia.  Just for a couple of hours, and without the whole brain damage bit.  I just wonder what it would be like.  I’m sure its terrible and I’m being dumb.

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Past Prologue”

“Dr. Bashir is excited to meet Garak, the last Cardassian aboard Deep Space Nine and a rumored spy.”

So I watched this episode, then sat down to write this post, and realized I couldn’t remember a single thing about it.  All I really knew is that synopsis was a little misleading, since this episode is all about Kira.  So needless to say, not a good first impression. I waited a couple days then watched it again.

Second impression was much better.  Kira’s in a tough spot, I really feel for her.  Bashir less so, guy’s kinda a dweeb.  Pretty creepy in the last episode, darkish in this one.  Not a likable fellow at all.  And Garak sure didn’t maintain his “I’m just a simple clothier” façade long.  At the start I kinda assumed there was going to be a bit of “is he/isn’t he” on the spy question, but he was chatting with those Klingon ladies for like thirty seconds before he confessed to being a Cardassian agent.  Weak.

Also, maybe I missed something in the first episode, but what’s the official status of the Cardassian/Bajoran relationship?  I thought there had been a rebellion on Bajor, and they had won their independence  But at the beginning of this episode, a Cardassian ship fires on a Bajoran vessel in Bajoran space, and there’s a debate about whether or not to let them keep the pilot?  That seems like a non-issue.  The guy doesn’t need asylum, he’s in Bajoran space.  

Wouldn’t that be like a Mexican cop beating up an American in Texas, then claiming its okay because the American is wanted in Mexico.  I’m pretty sure we’d tell the cop to pound sand, and if they want to discuss an extradition he can do so through official channels.

Contrast that with how, when Odo wanted to get rid of the Klingon ladies, Sisko refused because they hadn’t done anything illegal yet.  

Also the terrorist plot was dumb.  Nobody knew the wormhole existed until Sisko spent a couple hours in therapy inside it. Why would blowing it up change anything?  The Federation had reason to be there before they knew about the wormhole, so clearly they’d stick around after it closed up.

But still, the character stuff was good.  The show got off to a rough start with that pilot, but its starting to grow on me.

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“A Man Alone”

First of all, Dax is cute as shit.  And doctor guy is creepy as shit.  I get a serious Loki vibe from him.  Not the character, just the way talks, reminds me of Tom Hiddleston.  

Also surprised to hear Odo is a MGTOW.  You’d think a shape shifter would be pretty popular with the ladies. Or guys, I suppose, there’s really no real limit.  I look forward to seeing how that actor will accommodate the horrible makeup he has to wear.  He’s basically devoid of facial expression, communicating emotion will be a real trick.  He does pretty well in this episode, but there wasn’t much of a range to display.

Anyhow, onto the episode

The A-plot is all about Odo.  It starts off as a pretty stereotypical murder mystery.  Cop runs into somebody he put away in the past, guy ends up dead, everybody assumes the cop did it.  We’ve seen it all before. It morphed into  discussion of racism pretty seamlessly.  The continued tensions between the Bajorans and the remnants of the Cardassian occupation is illustrated well.  The plot, again, is wrapped up pretty quickly, with Odo’s innocence being proven and the killer’s identity found within the space of a single scene.  

The B-Plot is pretty forgettable.  Kimiko is bored at home while O’Brien works, so she wants to start a school for the station’s children.  Whatever.

The scene between Principal Snyder and Odo was quite well done.  They’re both such talented actors, I really believed that the two of them have a long history antagonizing one another.

But what are Odo’s limitations?  So every 18 hours he has to take a nap in a pail in his office.  I guess holding a specific shape takes a lot out of him. But he still looks like a melted candle, but when he’s a chair (or, in the last episode, a bag) he’s quite detailed.  Is the melted candle look deliberate, so people don’t mistake him for an actual Bajoran and think he’s being disingenuous?  Or is that just the best he can do?  

Also, Odo gives the dead fellow 26 hours to leave the station.  Could have just been a random number or could hold some specific significance.  Perhaps the ship is on a 26-hour artificial day/night cycle?  Gonna file that one away for later, see if it ever pops back up.

All together, a vast improvement.  This is a show I wouldn’t mind watching, even with the filler b-plot.

[desperatelyreviewingdennis]

“Emissary: Parts 1 & 2″

After getting so upset with The Boys, I decided to watch something episodic.  Decided on Deep Space 9.  I’ve never watched it, except the occasional episode back when it was airing live.  And, because why the hell not, I’m going to discuss every episode as I watch it.

All I really know about is that there’s a dude that can shapeshift, Principal Snyder is my fav, and Gul Dukat did nothing wrong.  I don’t know who Gul Dukat is, but I’m quite certain his actions were all above reproach.

So lets get to it.  The pilot two parter, “Emissary.”

Gonna be frank: if I were watching this episode live, I probably wouldn’t bother tuning in for the next one.  I dug it at the beginning.  Tying Sisco’s history in with Locutus was clever.  I’m pretty sick of the Borg, so hopefully they aren’t a recurring thing in this show, but its still a neat bit of world building.  It also fun that they took such a universally loved character (Captain Picard) and made the protagonist of the spinoff show hate him.  

Their meeting sort of confused me, though.  Picard was definitely taking the position of a superior officer, but wouldn’t they both be Captains?  Picard is arguably more respected than Sisco, but hat doesn’t extend to actual rank.

They introduced all the support characters well.  I guess Odo is the dude that can shape shift.  Kira is awesome, I look forward to learning more about her.  As head of Security, I’m a little concerned she’ll get Yar’ed, but until then I’ll just watch her kick ass.  I meet Gul Dukat, and predictably he does nothing wrong.

But then they get to the actual plot, and things sort of fall apart.  So Sisco needs to find a bunch of magical balls in order to get the support of the Bajoran church?  Am I watching Star Trek or Dragon Ball Z? (I assume they hunt down balls in that show, I don’t do the anime thing)  That’s super weird, and I’m not jiggy with it.  They discover a worm hole, and then discover people living in the worm hole.  I enjoyed the bits inside the worm hole.  Sisco interacting with the worm hole people was well done.

By the way, that guy is always dialed to 11.  Was he a stage actor?  Dude can command a room.

Where it fell apart for me was after the worm hole.  So Gul Dukat goes into the worm hole, which closes for some reason and sets up the tension between DS9 and the Cardassians.  But then the worm hole opens, and out comes Sisco with Gul Dukat’s ship in tow.  Did I miss a scene?  Where did that come from?  The interaction with the worm hole people ended pretty abruptly as it was, then they just forgot to show whatever was going on with the cardassian ship all together.  I’d call it Deus Ex Machina, but I think the worm hole people are supposed to legit be gods so I’m not sure if that’s a little too on the nose.

So yeah, between the rushed climax, and the weird McGuffin hunt they’ve set up, so far I’m not committed.  I really hope the first season isn’t all about hunting down magic balls.