devilboydogman - Tumblr blog

[devilboydogman]

Being a self aware (probable) narcissist who’s desired projected image is someone who is NOT SELFISH OR PRETENTIOUS AND OVERALL A GREAT GUY TO HANG OUT WITH is so stupid because when the uppity narcissism slips out over a topic I have a superiority complex over I want to ghost everyone and leave the country cause my narcissism surrounds the illusion of NOT BEING A NARCISSIST

I hate it here

[devilboydogman]

22 baybee (When I was 11 I was only ever on the internet for school projects on one of the School Computers or the Family Computer (a big box!! Y’all I actually loved when tvs and computers were just Huge Boxes /gen)

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

[devilboydogman]

Jace

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

[devilboydogman]

Alright, I would like to say something.

When we talk about people who lack/ have lessened empathy.

Less Empathy ≠ Less human

^this is good!

However, I see many people ONLY using autistic people to make this argument. Like of COURSE any decent person wouldn’t consider an autistic person with little to no empathy less human!

BUT CAN WE NOT EXCLUDE PEOPLE WITH CLUSTER B PERSONALITY DISORDERS?

Particularly I see demonization of people with ASPD and NPD. As if anyone with these disorders is inherently evil or abusive. That is objectively false. Many people with these disorders choose to be decent and treat other people with respect despite, or perhaps because of, the way their brain makes hard to be.

They are not immediately out to get you because of the way their brain works. That is stupid and ABLEIST.

As someone who suspects they may have NPD, I cannot stress enough how alienating it feels when ‘bad’ traits are demonized. I am extremely self aware and hyper vigilant of the way people perceive me, and the need for a positive view from others plays a huge role in how I interact with people. The person I want them to see is someone who is kind and easy to get along with. It’s actually a somewhat similar gut-reaction as RSD when I believe that perception has changed, and it hurts a LOT. Yes, this sometimes gets in the way of things like standing up for myself or others, as well as expressing my actual thoughts and feelings in fear I’ll be perceived in a way that’s not the desired persona.

But I am not inherently abusive or maliciously manipulative. I occasionally manipulate CONVERSATIONS into ways I want them to go. But I am not a fucking abuser.

I need therapy. I have been in the mental health system for 10 years now. I have o my recently realized that the reason it may not be effective is because the need to be seen a certain way gets in the way of actually recovering from my trauma or developing coping and solutions for issues I believe are not palatable.

I do not believe that demonizing people who do and think bad things helps ANYTHING. It juts prevents people from seeking help. Most people who only start out with internal traits are scared and ashamed, but fail to seek help because they see people online saying ‘narcissistic abuse’ and overusing the word ‘psychopath.’

So please. Stop being an empathy elitist. <I’m coining that term

[devilboydogman]

Okay so... there's a screen cap in mp100 that lives rent free in my head. I talked about this with my friend but I figured I might talk about it here too :]

this screenshot. ohhh my gosh. (this is gonna be a long ramble)

This screenshot is so interesting to me because it's almost ironic, but also blatantly displays the willpower Reigen has. Toichiro tells Reigen "I don't sense any power from you"-- and in a literal sense, it's the fact that Reigen doesn't have psychic abilities. That's true. But also at the same time, it's the fact that Toichiro doesn't specify psychic power, he says power in general.

Toichiro cannot see any power that isn't psychic. He views anything that isn't that as minuscule and meaningless. Reigen's action here has no weight to him-- but can we just talk for a second about the sheer amount of power Reigen has to do what he's doing in that moment?

Reigen, a man without psychic powers, decides to go to the top of an extremely tall building to fight a psychic that had the powers of a fucking god, all to see if he can even stall or comfort mob. He's threatening one of the most powerful espers ever with a fucking gun that can't even do any damage to him. And in all of this, there isn't any hesitation. At all. THEN there's the whole other level of the person who saves his ass the most in situations like this (Mob) is unable to fight-- but ALSO... doesn't consciously recognize the fact that Reigen is not a psychic and is extremely defenseless in this situation. Think about it, would you be more likely to protect someone if you thought they were powerful and could at least hold themselves a bit, or someone who was completely defenseless? Reigen literally has zero fail safe to this, but he does it for Mob. There's so much power in that. And the shot of Reigen pointing a gun at him while he says that strikes me so hard.

About the art/composition specifically now... Toichiro looks small in the shot. This is in part because he's in the distance, but also... in the way he's holding Mob, he almost looks like he could be the same height as Mob if he was standing up straight. He's small, almost the size of a child, holding the child that he beat up. And he's telling the person who's literally throwing away his life for that kid "i don't sense any power from you". He's not as big and powerful as he thinks.

Then there's the lights and darks. Everything surrounding Toichiro is dark colored, and everything surrounding Reigen is light. Toichiro's dark suit, paired with the poles and other pieces of the scenery that are all dark colored. But Reigen's third (as in rule of thirds-- it's a compositional thing if you don't know) is all filled with light colored things. The aspects of the building are all cream colored, the outside has the brightest part there, and Reigen's lighter colored suit. I'm not quite sure what to say on this I just think it's so interesting.

So, yeah. I'm probably never going to be over the composition of this shot in pair with the line of dialogue that's said during it, because it's just... agghhh. There's just something about it.

[devilboydogman]

[devilboydogman]

Reblog if it’s ok for your mutuals to tag you in posts they think you’ll like even if you don’t talk often.

[devilboydogman]

I’m just gonna start utilizing the kubric stare when people in public stare at me for being visibly disabled. Like just THE most unsettling murder glare. Make them REAL uncomfortable.

[devilboydogman]

The Christian Flavor of ableism is so baffling.

Like I’m just opening the door to get food my older brother ordered and this lady sees my cane and says “Ooh, God loves you!”

Then she tells me “good luck” as she’s leaving and like,,,,

I am too tired for this ma’am

[devilboydogman]

!!!

I'm taking away the word empathy from the NTs until they discover it isn't a synonym for "giving a shit about people"

[devilboydogman]

As someone who has been admitted 6 times, yeah. Yeah. Just. Shut the hell up. I have trauma responses when crisis workers walk in to my hospital room. I get nightmares about that shit. Panic attacks at the suggestion of being put in there again.

finding the “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum etc” meme a little bit challenging honestly. as a psych survivor who is mildly frustrated by how swifties are currently talking about mental illness. it’s like. you wouldn’t last an hour on the psych ward. because nobody would. because it’s a shitty and traumatic environment. hope that helps. now shut the fuck up

[devilboydogman]

Yep, I used to go through sketchbooks and paper like it was nobody’s business. Now the pages are less, but the art is WAY more refined. Besides, most of those pages were barely halfway done doodles cause I was a gremlin who turned to the next page if I didn’t like it. Now my sketchbooks fill up slowly but are filled with color and detail and decent composition and unique ideas and complexity.

Throwback thursday to when I was like 12 and I was putting out new writing DAILY...... Like entire Chapters of my then-current wips just, over an afternoon. What the fuck was I on

[devilboydogman]

I am in love with my new OC. His name is Aberrati and he is so unhinged

[ID: two Drawings of the same original character.

First is done in colorful gel pens of a character with medium brown skin, long curly hair in a loose ponytail that is mostly dark brown but with some bright green highlights. He is using green and black forearm crutches, wearing a pair of glasses, a white button-down shirt with the top buttons undone, revealing part of a burn scar, and the sleeves are rolled up to reveal another portion of the scar on his left arm. He is using black and red fabric elbow braces. A sort of red ribbon is tied like a necktie and hangs loosely down his front. His is wearing a pair of tan trousers, and the left leg is partially held up with brown straps to reveal a green prosthetic leg.

Second is Another drawing of the character Aberrati, this time done in a mostly green color palette. He is lying down in a dramatic pose with one arm reaching upwards, and wearing only a pair of boxers. His top surgery scars and the large burn scar lengthening from his shoulder down to his hand are fully visible, and colored abstractly in hints of pink, blue, purple, and green. His long curly hair lies loosely around his head, and his prosthetic is removed so that only his residual thigh is present, most of which is heavily scarred. End ID]

[devilboydogman]

Edited with ID!

Got new pens and went apeshit on some OC art <3

[ID: Two images of drawings done in colorful gel pen.

The first drawing depicts a trans man, mostly unclothed except for his underwear. He has medium-dark skin, fairly hairy legs, chest, and arms, slightly facial hair, top surgery scars, long, curly hair that is mostly dark brown but with several strands of bright green highlights, large burn scars on his left shoulder and arm, a green prosthetic leg that is slightly robotic and unrealistic in appearance, is wearing square glasses, and is using a pair of green and black forearm crutches.

The second drawing depicts a young woman with dark skin and a stylized, geometric loose afro. She has dark purple eyes, is wearing a white and pink striped scarf, a purple zip-hoodie, a light blue and white t-shirt, and a pair of bright pink running shorts. A small, circular, dark purple earring is visible. She carries a white umbrella with a blue hook handle. End ID]

[devilboydogman]

The most potent blorbos are the not the hottest or the most pathetic, they're the ones who share your particular neuroses but in their world those neuroses are significantly more justifed

[devilboydogman]

REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️

[devilboydogman]

REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️