devious-crow

[devious-crow]

picture

everyone's got a picture of me

a picture of me they keep in their pocket

a beautiful girl, with a bright smile

a wife with a child

my person is viewed through

a camera socket

a daughter, who'll call her dear father

the day that the wedding bells ring

a girl who will run, pay the funeral bills

kneel before the death bed

of his

a girl who takes care of her mother

who's illness struck out of nowhere

to begin with, a brat who despises no other

but her family

yet deep down is forgiving

and neat, and so loving

a beautiful picture they paint in their minds

saturation turned up with the delusion

sometimes I fall into the same kind of trap

no common sense mixed in, no inclusion

of my personality, my dreams and my hopes

of my interests, my wishes, my plans for the future

I'll kneel, I'll bear children, I'll ring the damn phone

and I'll prove them right

and I'll prove them right

and I'll prove them right

as they all scream "I told you so"

in unison

[devious-crow]

it wasnt the fruit

it was your hands

unsteady unaware

you held it like

it owed you something

and tore it apart

like it was trying to escape

the juice on the counter

not rebellion

the seeds on the floor

not chaos

your shirt stained crimson

not tragedy

it was the aftermath of carelessness

not a lesson about nature

you call it messy

because you were reckless

you call it difficult

because you refused patience

the pomegranate doesnt fight you

it only asks

do you deserve whats inside

[devious-crow]

salty

i can't even grieve properly

i can't even cry properly

in an empty room

my tears won't fall properly

always misplaced and mismatched with the property

of my grievances

you yearn to be proper and placed

in a space that is suited for you

you earn to replace all those fools, waiting for

the right hand to hold yours. to hold you

propped up like a towering building

crumbling under its years, soul agape

a gaze, circle one, I am true to my nature

i am true to the ways of old days, i'm self-made

it's so easy to trip and to sink back, deep in tar

collar deep, go ahead - drag me down to my knees

you running so hard to keep conscience intact

run unbeknownst to the dread you waste in

i pity, i'd say

but honestly envy the confidence

you put on your kin, on your lovers, insane

i was made a sailor on a tattered ship

wondering when the salty water will catch up

to my chin

[devious-crow]

chopping block

every couple weeks

i cave to darkness inside me

lay my life out, feelings scattered

chop the bigger bits

bite in with a scowl, tongue

melting at the contact

melt away my voice and throat

teeth will follow after

every couple weeks I lay

spend the day, scrolling through the hour

all my thoughts a lump of clay

stench of rot, decay - it's foul

will you play a fair game?

lean on me the way I do

i will be your dog, your prey

bark is empty, bite gone soon

make me speechless, crush my song

take my pieces, sew them up

hung on strings - a puppet doll

i will never dare to fight

i will come, then play my role

stitches healing, strings are cut

you'll be back again, my love

drag me on the chopping board

like a lifeless sack

[devious-crow]

perfection

drawing conclusions

cat in a box

tingling confusion

what a hoax

those who are the closest to achieving

lose themselves, their dignity

the thrill

of life, the thrill of knowledge

oustrasized

from human condition

bitter premonition

draws from the narrative

those who are the farthest

from perfection

grow content with it

choose their path to comfort

or die

mauling themselves over it

schrodingers cat

schrodingers perfection

you'll never really know if it exists, until u get it

and you shall never get the taste of it

when it's just out of your hands reach

so I'll let the soot

pool at the end of my tongue

i hate the taste

and I'll love if I'm wrong

when i say

the only case i can reach it

is if i drop the rest of my body

to be never seen again

to never taste sugar

and sweets again

just the bitterness of inhuman perfection

like a carrot dangling above my head

the question that I should really

consider asking

is

'was i dead before it all started

or was I fated to die in the end?'

[devious-crow]

bound by blood

hardworking, cheerful, sunny by the day

a cloud grey may times pass by

you almost keep your words in check

you almost see m just like a person

by night the skin slips o ff your neck

shotgun the evening time

straight into the cloudy night

one two three four fourteen

inky dry claws, so eager to figh t

you knock on door - it bursts in flame

The misfortune to be kin.

the floor gets blown away

by the wind from the h ole

where the window used to be

chill makes my skin crawl

you spoke in my direc tion and i tried

to crawl under the fucking desk

i really tried

you slammed the door on your way out

the nonexistent burnt down fucking door

and i wanted to punch a hol e in the wall

and crawl in there

because im an animal that feels like its dying

and i long for a small little place to rot away

i feel thi r teen again

[devious-crow]

if ever met an alien

id take it by the hand

and show it all the places

us folk consider grand.

id take it to the canyons,

and the mountains, and the seas.

id take it to the north pole,

and climbing up the trees.

after all that walking,

id take it out to lunch

and we'd get to talking

as we sat and had a munch.

id ask my strange new friend

which part it liked most.

"was it the journey or the end,

the rivers or the coast?"

and it would finish eating,

giving one final chew,

"the best part of our meeting,

was learning things from you"

[devious-crow]

something is swelling up inside of me

it might be pride, the righteous one

that took so long to build

a guilt of one who magically survived

to witness just this night

the night it all will crush me

i cant find reasons to explain

it all to you, my dear friend

i typed it out every way

and I am still yet to admit even a speck of it

im used to metaphors and hidden meanings

im used to being overly dramatic and yet tame

i think my friends did fucking notice

when i would ignore each day

each message fleeting by without an answer

counting the chances

the chances u may not give again

withdrawal heavy, I still just stick my head in sand

just waiting for a hand to carry me away

for i am not immune to things I long for

I want an easy life, I want a steady job

or better yet I want to be a housewife,

a husband who wont throw me to the curb..

so many twists and turns I add to things I write

but truly, truly, I just want to run away

i want no husband, I want to be no wife

i want no job or money

yesterday I got really drunk

I told my friend to hit me

in the shoulder as hard as he can

they told me I probably won't even remember

this moment

it hurt

i tried to play tough

pretended it didnt

it was the happiest I've felt in the entire week

[devious-crow]

sunrise

knee deep in snow

a mourning toll

the past still rushing by my eyes

keep tall, slow down

behold the show

a hidden struggler's demise

my skin is cold

the morning comes

you sweep your blade right by my face

please lean on me

please do, just once

and burrow deep inside my bones

[devious-crow]

постучись

ты постучись, а я открою

вдохну всю ложь

и сложу вдвое

ты подтолкни - я полечу

иль кинь-ка реку - мост построю

вода здесь тянется не вечно

не вечен я, не вечен ты

венком жарков ты красишь речи

но некогда собрать цветы

я постучусь - захлопни дверь

и выдохни всю правду снова

предай полёт, забудь про слово

сожги мосты, пускайся в море

про реку-озеро забудь

[devious-crow]

right wrong

i want the right ideas to be hammered directly into my brain i want all the right morals to suddenly appear before my eyes i want all the right things to go along with my life and i want all the right right right right things to go ive waited and i kept quiet ive talked to you to no avail scream to me and break me out of this shell both of us made i want all the wrong ideas hammered directly into my eyes i want all the wrong morals to go along with my life i want all the wrong things to appear in my brain and i want all the wrong wrong wrong wrong things for me ive screamed and threw myself around ive never talked about the things that mattered the last second ive found myself staggered and

[devious-crow]

framed

softened blankets warmed from friction chilly drops slide down, confliction heart and mind blur front and side hands yours made to glide and slide

i only spin on the merry-go-round for the sake of not losing touch i only stay by your side bound for the sake of not being judged side-ways bottom-up and inside out framed and plastered all over the wall egotistical blood-painted hound fated for consumption, cursed to snowball i only speak up for my heart when its already torn out of me i only notice my loved ones around when i force them to run and flee

[devious-crow]

do i have more to give?

i have swallowed my share

incorporated the feed with my flesh

i have fed and been fed

i give up warmth, and the warmth back I get

people around me long still for more

feast and consume

to hug, choose and be chosen

washed up and pale, i still feel sore

whole world feels like an enclosure

self fulfilled prophecy, selfless in kind

long to give back all the things that I break

note on the door, keys shall I hide

things that I own my cats can all take

yet can I inflict such a hardship on them

fluffy and small and so warm in my bed

up by the window, down on the carpet

will they just deem themselves as abandoned

by me?

[devious-crow]

stuck

at times the pen just feels misplaced

the routines come to drench the fire

my own volition shaped my fate

yet twists and turns, as it desires

is there more art I'm yet to make?

is there a reason to be tired?

a broken, shallow, heartless mess

still filled with lead and uninspired

the bridge still seems too huge to cross

I'll leap in water, bide my time

I'll get caught up in tides of thought

please, give me reason, I'll keep trying

[devious-crow]

being a dog person doesn't sound so bad

complain of outside to me

about northern winter chills

gnawing at your hands and knees

we're longing for a summer's breeze

let me complain of snow to you

of snowdrifts covering the roads

of ice i fall on every year

i crave to see the leaves unfold

yet when I think about us more

can't help but fail on my resolve

i think I'll like december's glum

if i to be with you, my love

and we'll get dogs, a few at least

I'll feed and walk them, if you please

i like cats more, but change is due

I'll learn to love the way you do

throughout the feats of adolescence

you struck a cord so deep inside

my core was molded by your presence

i walk my life with wider stride

that time we spent three days on call

times saccharine - so sickly sweet

and i want more, the truth be told

so many memories to greet

[devious-crow]

stuck

at times the pen just feels misplaced

the routines come to drench the fire

my own volition shaped my fate

yet twists and turns, as it desires

is there more art I'm yet to make?

is there a reason to be tired?

a broken, shallow, heartless mess

still filled with lead and uninspired

the bridge still seems too huge to cross

I'll leap in water, bide my time

I'll get caught up in tides of thought

please, give me reason, I'll keep trying

[devious-crow]

figure me out

under the smoking sun

blooms a flowerbed

the shining specs

surround it

the pollen swirls

in shallow wind

you're mine - I'm yours,

a frightened state

it rings, I'm stuck

inside my head.

you tear me out

i do not fret

inside yours sits

a feral beast

i will soon meet -

my fate now cleared

find me, claim me

infest my sight

replace my thoughts

with yours, my love

i will not hide

make a duvet

of dried up grass

the pillows soft

of crumped up fluff

clouds gather

casting shadows

ground thunders

it rains - and passes

sending shivers

down my spine

your hand, still wet

atop of mine

please stay some more

you can't leave yet

we let the moon

replace the sun

the song has finaled

caress my face

with sweet embrace

the bells now silent

the field is cold

our clothes are drenched

the night now falls

we lay, unchanged