devorjiac - Tumblr blog

[devorjiac]

so it turns out that snorting and smoking demonic sludge causes damage. who knew

[devorjiac]

are you really so evil you dont seem to do much evil anymore

im gearing up for the 2024 presidential primary

[devorjiac]

it goes against so much of what i stand for to share "palestinians are humans, they have hobbies, they have pets, they laugh and cry" kind of posts because i've spent so much of my life and career completely rejecting the notion that we should humanize ourselves, that we should ever be defensive, that we should entertain this racism at all

but it breaks my heart when i have to share them from people in gaza, who are using their five minutes of internet connection, their 25% of battery charge collected from a macguyvered car battery, emotionally exhausted, thirsty and hungry, sleeping in schools that have turned into refugee shelters and still making the time to say "please, i am human too, i am still alive, please fight for me" in english to appeal to the only people who have the power to help

i shared a tweet from a jjk artist in gaza i follow about a bts photocard being found in the middle of the rubble. even the love of anime and kpop and sports is no longer just a hobby, but an appeal to humanity. what was once a source of joy is now proof of life.

the worst part is that you won't find this content in arabic. palestinians don't post like this in arabic. but when they translate themselves, they recognize that they must humanize themselves first. it's an unspoken understanding of dehumanization, one that has dictated a whole region's understanding of the value of human life. in arabic they speak with dignity, with anger, with sorrow. in english, they appeal for their existence.

i share these posts not just because we have to reach everyone we can, because im being asked to and i will not refuse. but i also share them because they're evidence of how deep the racism has run. at what dehumanization leads to. of war crime after war crime. this too i will not forget.

[devorjiac]

does a gay lil wizard smooch

[devorjiac]

Just demolished a druid’s sacred stag with my horseless runic steel-carriage.

(Hit a deer with my car)

[devorjiac]

lmao was OP under the thrall of a dark entity or perhaps some kind of unknowable puppeteer?? 😂🤣

[devorjiac]

the hot new trend is "guard posting"

[devorjiac]

i tried it and it made me shit

now i'm putting out a gilga hit

i did not cum i did not smile

my wizard outhouse i did defile

TRY ESPRESSO GILGAMESH

MAKES YOU FEEL SO BRIGHT AND FRESH

THREE PARTS COFFEE ONE PART RUM

MAKES YOU SMILE, MAKES YOU CUM

TOP IT OFF WITH MILK OF COW

AT DUNKAMESH COME TRY ONE NOW

[devorjiac]

Wells are a type of wizard tower, they're just inverted

[devorjiac]

make your choice...

[devorjiac]

honestly so fucking awful that these machines are putting alchemists out of business. used to be if you wanted a healing potion you'd go down to the local apothecary with some gold pieces in your pocket and old miss willowbark the 700 year old elf would throw a couple goodberries in for free. kids these days will never know the thrill of making eye contact with her apprentice, a beautiful half-elven girl whose hair would always be braided with herbal flowers, and thinking maybe this'll be the day you ask when she's off for the day and invite her to the tavern. now any schmuck who fancies themself an adventurer can walk right into the crustiest MythDonald's and come out with a large potion of giant strength (cherry vanilla flavor) and go get themselves killed thinking they can fight a dragon now. unreal honestly.

[devorjiac]

oh so when a so-called "ARCHAEOLOGIST" goes around robbing graves and taking their contents back to their so-cakkklled "MUSEUMS" it's all fine and dandy, but WHEN I, YOUR LOCAL, SMALL-TIME NECROMANCER-

[devorjiac]

I’m ready for the wizard commune now actually. what? I have to go to work? nonsense! catch me out in the pasture tending to the sheep while my wizard wife and wizard husband make passionate love in our wizard kitchen. Me and the other wizards come home from our long day out in the wizard fields and we all kiss each other on the mouth as a greeting. we will share a loaf of sourdough bread and a cauldron of stew and laugh heartily over our goblets of mead before we all settle down together in our giant wizard bed. wizards spoon like no other creature. this is all I want, please. I don’t want to do my taxes.

[devorjiac]

A wizard that uses road signs infused with magic to grant the powers associated with them. Obviously the stop sign is the most useful, and yield is also pretty good too. However a one way sign can also be very useful if used correctly to redirect hoards of minions.

And of course…

[devorjiac]

hi i am insane and have nothing to offer. do you still like me

[devorjiac]

at the euthanasia party everyone gets a sip of the forbidden lean

[devorjiac]

the narrator gets his dick sucked by tyler durden and then in the end as part of the twist he realizes he got two of his ribs surgically removed