dianasdabbles-blog

[dianasdabbles-blog]

opening requests back up! also do we want year 2 of VS now Shawn was actually performing?? 

[dianasdabbles-blog]

The Secrets He Kept

Request: Nope, i have been saving it for a while and every now and then go back to try and add to it but i really like it and if you want a second part just let me know and i’ll work on it.

Word Count: 2,056

Parting with a kiss, I leave through one of the back exits to join the line of fans queuing out the front. By the time I got to the front, I knew I wouldn’t be on the floor, which was a bonus, but I was close enough to be in the first row of standing. Hearing the girls getting excited and some behind trying to squish the line to get in quicker, I knew the doors had opened. Excitement was an understatement. I had never been to a meet and greet let alone the Shawn Mendes experience.

Shawn and I had ran into each just over a year ago last time he was in Sydney. It was a bold move on my part, as it didn’t register who he was at the time and I asked if we could meet up again he told me he wasn’t around much longer so I gave him my number. A few phone calls and facetimes later the penny dropped. I was mortified of what I had done, to how I treated him – not that it was bad, it was just extremely bold. When questioned why he never told me who he was, he was a little taken back but asked if it changed anything. I didn’t hesitate when I said no but made him promise there’d be no more secrets between us.

Now we’ve been together about 8 months, I have seen him perform backstage but when he told me he has prepared to take me around on the Australian tour I wanted to experience it all. So here we are sneaking around the media and fans now risking it all by leaving through an exit door. I just hope that if someone sees they don’t see me again tonight.

They direct us where to sit and stand while Shawn takes his sweet time. The girls in the front row start to scream, which puts the rest of us at hault mid conversation just in time to see Shawn enter. We’re silenced and warned about camera flashes and lights on our phones then teacher Shawn instructs us to be nice and quiet.

I don’t think I have ever been around that many giggling girls in my life. I’m not one for emotion or public display and I slowly become embarrassed for these girls but anxious for Shawn. A girl makes a comment about him leaving the toilet seat up which I preached her in my head but cursed him as he said if someone else was there he’d put it down because he doesn’t. Another asks how he puts his shirt on, another on advise. I was enjoying myself and could understand why people come to these.

One asked if he ever finished reading his book which I know he never did as he cannot sit still long enough to ever get into a book but I on the other hand could sit for days. He continues telling them he could never finish it as he sucks at it but continues on to make it a conversation as he smirks in my direction then mentions quote “my friend loves a good book she could read for days which sucks because sometimes sh- I can’t get in contact with them” quote.

In that moment I feel as though my jaw is slack and everyone is looking at me. Like everyone knows and we are now screwed. Shawn keeps looking at me every so often as I try my best to remain calm. All I can do is hope that no one picked up on it.

With the next few questions he makes more conversation and asks them more questions prolonging the upcoming questions. Joking with the crowd and making them laugh, telling them about the kissing scenes in the TNHMB music video which I do feel a twinge of jealousy as he speaks about it. He even brings Jeff into the Q&A with the “certain” joke.

From there we are lead through back into the main part of the building where you can buy food and merch, I decide to snack out as tonight is going to be full of dancing. As the arena fills up and the lights darken I plant myself near the centre of the floor space right next to the piano – I know where to stand after seeing the hours of rehersing. The opening starts and I mumble the playback track of his achievements to myself. First TNHMB which is a party starter, then my all time favourite Lights On. The girls holding onto everything he says in between and all I can think is how did I get so lucky.

Giving in and acting like a crazy person, singing at the top of my lungs when Stitches hit. No matter how old the song is or how old I am it’ll always be a banger. By the end of tonight I think I’ll definitely be searching for a voice. There’s a longer pause in the show where Shawn makes a dash while catching his breath to the centre stage. As he comes up, the girls scream and stick their arms out hoping he’ll touch them. I am pushed and slightly jumped on as more try and squeeze their way to the front when our eyes lock, in that moment I become one of them. My arm goes out and I scream along with the rest of the girls as he passes by reaching down to the girls around me.

When he forgets the notes, my heart aches in a good way. He apologises and has a little chuckle which makes the smile on my face grow. I want nothing more in this moment but to hold him and tell him how proud I am. Shawn plays his go to song, which I admit do know cause who doesn’t stalk their boyfriends when they find out they are the number 1 hearthrob? And in this moment he couldn’t look any more perfect.

Next comes Roses which always makes me emotional. This is the one where he walks around to the girls and holds their hands. Shawn said he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t do it to me but he did, of course he did. And it was honest and perfect, if there hadn’t had been big scary security guards I would have jumped the barrier.

A few more songs later, there is another pause as he grabs a drink of water and says quote “I only have a few stops in Australia and I need to go home remembering Sydney was the loudest one” quote. And with that statement I couldn’t focus for the rest concert with my mind going places it shouldn’t be in public.

The wait after the concert was painful not only did I have to wait 30minutes for everyone to clear the stadium I had to wait another 15 for people to move somewhat away from the front before I could make my way around the back to the same door. The one problem I did not consider is that other girls may be waiting for him to come out, as I turn to leave one girl recognises me from the meet and greet,

“Hey are you waiting for Shawn too?”

“Uh yea, I was going to but uh.. I think I’ll just head off”

“Oh cool, see ya round!”

Walking back round I double check that I’m far enough away from people, I pull my phone out to call Shawn and tell him my dilemma to which he tells me to come back inside and put him on the phone to every security guard to which I do and it works. He directs me through the stadium and meets me outside his door which some how my lips land on his, we flip so I am now against the wall as one of his hands fiddle with my shirt pulling it out and slipping under and around my waist as the other finds the door to his room.

“What.. What’s –this –for?” He gets out in between breaths, as i’m now straddling him on the lounge as my hairs run through his curls,

“You said tonight something about you need to go home remembering why we are the loudest, I just thought I’d help out” To this he smirks, taking my hand.

“Not here”

We find Andrew ASAP to no surprise he understands, more then likely with the help of our hair and my half untucked shirt we didn’t bother to fix ourselves as he sends us on our way back to the hotel.

The next morning, I say morning but more like midday. I wake before Shawn in a bliss, grabbing his shirt from the floor going out to make two cups of coffee and return back to bed placing one on his bedside and holding onto mine as I stroke his hair. Grabbing my phone to check my social medias, not much has happened on my end until i get a message from Andrew asking if we are both awake I respond no just me but alarm bells are going off in my head. Next thing I know there is a knock on the door and I am scrambling to put my jeans on, tucking in Shawn’s shirt and making my hair half decent as I open the door Andrew shakes his head.

“I don’t know why you’re trying to make yourself presentable now, I know what happened last night.” He says with a smirk “But have you seen any social media this morning?”

“Look I am sorry that you had to be an accomplice in lasts nights antics” I look at my feet slightly embarrassed of the way I acted last night as all memories come back in full force, my face tingling red “But uh.. yea I checked mine not long ago. Has something happened?”

“Just your antics all of yesterday really. Do any of these pictures look familiar?” Andrew passes me his phone as I swipe through photos of me sneaking out the back door, a red circle around myself in his meet and greet, there is a video of Shawn singing holding my hand in Roses, to me going behind the stadium and handing my phone to a security guard once the concert is over, and last but not least photos of Shawn and I making out in the car and heading into the hotel. In this moment I honestly feel as though I could pass out, my head hearts and I’m ready to burst into tears.

“(y/n), (y/n),” Andrew is lightly shaking my should, “It’s okay, it will be alright.“

“Andrew, this is not okay. Have I ruined his career? What is going to happen now! This was not meant to happen! Oh my goodness, how could I be this stupid!”

“Okay right now, you’re lucky Shawn is a heavy sleeper” Trying to ease the mood but just earns a glare from me to which he holds his hands up in surrender, “But I am going to give you two some space AND before you say anything you are going to handle this perfectly, Shawn is going to want to hear this from you. We knew this was going to happen sooner or later, it just came sooner. Give me a text when he knows, Okay?” I nod.

Tossing my phone between my hands in bed, Shawn wakes only a few minutes after Andrew leaves giving me no time to plan anything. Sitting up he leans in for a kiss I return half heartedly which catches him as soon as his lips leave mine. I sigh and have no way out of this.

Not even wanting to make eye contact with the boy. I stutter my way through sentences, mumbling and speaking under my breath as I manage to get out what Andrew had showed me. Unfortunately for me, Shawn has experienced many of my awkward talks and understood every word even if he had to lean a little closer to hear it. Running a hand through his hair and squeezing my thigh with the other we sit in silence for a couple of minutes realising Shawn isn’t going to be saying anything soon, I reach for my phone sending Andrew a message.

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Hurt

People seem to like my sad Shawn so here is another. Please send in requests of any imagines you want or songs you want one based off!

Inspiration: You’re Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

Words: 1,222

Squeezing my eyes together like they could close any more as the sun peaks through the blinds. I roll over with a sigh as I welcome the cold space that has now become a normality of my life. Reaching for my phone, I enjoy the last comfort of our bed. Or what used to be our bed.

I know Shawn will be out all day as that has become our routine. He stays out forgetting our plans, anniversaries or even my plans to travel home and then calling asking where I am. I understand all the pressure and ideals that are placed on him but home is where he is meant to forget about all of that and relax. Home is where he can be him. Home is where I would never judge him. Now I don’t even know who I am living with.

By lunch time, I was thanking my lucky stars that I hadn’t sold my car as I start packing the boxes into it. So far I had been able to keep my emotions in tact and just like I promised myself if I hadn’t heard from Shawn by 3pm that was it. What was done, is done and now I take a seat on the lounge one last time, watching the minutes count down.

The clock had hit 4pm and I finally got my legs to lift myself from the lounge. I could feel the emotions in my starting to surface and I decide to take one last lap around the place i’ve called home for the past 12 months.

I thought it would be ironic to get a rose. The rose he wrote about and the choice he made to let it die. With a notepad and pen in hand, I try to figure the right words to leave on as I know whatever is on here will dictate the way the text messages will go. And yes, not a running and screaming match at my old flat or a god damn phone call.

“Shawn,

I was sitting here wasting all this time, hoping you’d come around. I kept giving out chances but I don’t want to hurt anymore. You think we’ll be fine but not this time around. “

I had been able to keep my old place as I had rented it out to some uni students who had managed to keep it clean through out the whole time. I had had this plan in motion for sometime now as I obviously had to give notice to the students but also so I couldn’t keep forgiving Shawn. The pain was becoming too much.

The secrets he kept. About his life, his family, his career, about him. I was losing him as a person and I didn’t know the man I shared a bed with anymore. I can’t even recall the last conversation we had. Or the last meal we sat and had together.

I didn’t eat, I couldn’t eat should I say. Or sleep. I laid awake all night staring at my phone hoping, I knew it was wrong and I had to do something about it. I decided to put a movie on and leave my phone behind. Hoping I’d fall asleep to the movie but instead I got to watch the sunrise.

Still with no appetite I decide to go for a morning jog and promise myself to pick something up from the corner café on my way back. Which I did, collecting some banana bread and coffee. Once I return home, I check my phone, which still has nothing. No notifications or messages. I can feel the bubble of anxiety in my chest rising as I know this is not good. Silent Shawn is never good – that I can remember.

I jump clutching my chest as three loud bangs come from the door. I take the time to compose myself as I know who it is and I don’t need to rush. Three more bangs come as he yells my name. Steadying my legs I make my way towards the door.

“Leave Shawn” Keeping my distance just incase he somehow becomes capable of breaking down the door.

“Let me in” He sounds out of breath

“Leave Shawn… Please” I believe these are the only words I am capable of. Another bang comes,

“Let me in” He repeats, his voice isn’t raised as much as it was before but it is still loud, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just… Just let me in”

I shake my head, like he can see me. “You can tell me that you’re sorry but…” leveling out my voice, “I won’t believe you like I did before”

With this another bang and some choice words come. I decide to open the door, “I’m only letting you in so the neighbours don’t become concerned” his eyes are pleading for any chance he can get and slides straight through the door.

I stand with my arms folded as I see he is holding the note I left.

“What are you doing? Why are you here?” He slams the paper onto my table.

“I can’t do this any more” motioning between us, “this doesn’t work like it used to”

“What.. Of course it does., “ he strides towards me “I love you honey”

With a step back I hit the door, “You had me crying for you, ‘honey’” I spit back at him as I move so I have room to breath.

“You don’t get it do you Shawn?” With a shake of his head, I let it all out, “Of course you don’t… I don’t even know who you are any more! You’re never around, you forget our plans and you forget to fill me in on the simple things in your life! You keep secrets that shouldn’t even be secrets! All you ever do is let me down…” I catch myself, my eyes dart up meeting his

He is lost for words, but it’s true I have just never said it out loud or admitted it before.

“Shawn, I could have loved you my whole life but I can’t sit around and wait for you. I don’t want to – I can’t hurt any more. I can’t do it. Now you’re asking me to listen cause it’s worked every other time but I’m giving you a way out and you need to take it”

I know Shawn is talking or yelling, I’m not sure cause as I look at him I see his hands moving and his mouth moving but I can’t hear anything and tears are filling my vision.

“Shawn,” my voice cracks “ Shawn, there’s nothing left to beg for.”

“There’s nothing left to beg for, Shawn” I say a little clear and a little louder to get him to listen, “Please, please go.”

He brushes past me picking up the note slamming the door behind him. In that moment I realise just how much I know him. I know how much those words hurt him, I know how much he loves me. I just wish he showed it sooner. In that moment I realised how much I loved him and how much I want to chase him down the corridor. In that moment, I also knew that it was the right thing to do.

For both of us.

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Flashing Lights

July 2016,

It has been a week since i agreed to be Shawn's fake girlfriend and so far all i had to do is follow a couple of metres behind him so nobody really paid any attention to it. Of course there had been a few speculations after the second "date" but now we were going to make it real.

Shawn and I are going out. Well we are already going out but in the public eye. Being seen. Together. Not just heading to the same places any more. We were going to walk into the same building together with all these manic people with flashing lights.

"Why do we have to practise holding hands?" I groan.

"Because as someone who knows a fair whack about human behaviours i can tell you might not be the most experienced" Raising my eyebrows in shock towards Derick as i do not need him to open another can of worms that will lead to awkward conversations later.

Shawn intertwines his fingers with mine as i watch him so perfectly show the affection every girl dreams of.

As our eyes meet, he holds me eyes as his lips turn up slightly. We start to walk and Derick calls 'now' and Shawn slips his hand out of mine and shelters me with his arm from all the pretend paparazzi. I bury my head into his chest as we make it to the end of the room.

"Now that is something even i can believe!"

After a few more attempts of different scenarios, being told not to answer any questions and to stay by Shawn at all times we are finished. But of course Derick wants to have a 'chat' with me..

"Derick. We don't need to do this." I whine. With all the time we have spent practising our chemistry i feel closest to Derick and someone i can slightly trust with this highly embarrassing information.

"Yes Kennedy we do, yes you do." And of course Derick is quite up front and takes his job quite seriously. "And the quicker you let yourself go like you just did, the better you will be able to make everything flow. Especially your conversation. You need to go speak to him, get to know him. I know you don't want to let yourself go but you have to."

After all these year of building up my walls, never letting any guy get close. I some how am going to learn how to become an incredible actress.

After a serious glare i give in.

-:-

Getting ready for our first official public appearance was absolutely ridiculous. Sitting in on hair and make up, going to the stylist who wanted to put me in some crazy outfits when i finally settled for a nice, simple and plain outfit of black and white stripped loose pants, a black tank tight top with a small black bag and some black thin strapped heels. Letting my hair fall, looking at myself in the mirror quickly sending a photo to P as she wishes me good luck.

Stepping outside and straight into the car, saying i was nervous was an understatement but then again it probably looked like i was going to be sick. Being 5 minutes early with a rockstar is a rookie error. For all i know Shawn could have been on time but i would've never been able to see him as the closer to our departing time more people showed up. Yes, there were a few when i stepped out but none that took notice of me.

Offering Shawn a small smile as he gets into the car he ignores me as he tells the driver we're ready. Running his fingers through his hair he finally speaks, "Are you ready for this?"

"I'm not sure but hey, just like we practised right?" I try to sound somewhat calm.

"No promises because we are about to walk into a jungle." He nods with his head in the direction of the approaching restaurant.

Here goes nothing. Just like we practised.

Shawn gets out first and the lights go off. Girls squealing, grown men yelling, too many cameras flashing. Just as i make my way over to the open door Shawn ducks back down and offers me his hand. I smile and take it as he leads me between the wall of body guards.

Our dinner was full of small talk, the most we have ever spoken. Learning a whole new perspective of the guy.

He is one of two children, a younger sister. His parents are Karen and Manuel. He is afraid of ladybugs and allergic to mosquitos and dogs. Shawn tries to write as much of his own music as he can, which is something i will talk to him about later.

Coming to the end of our dinner, he takes my hand as we leave through the backdoor of the restaurant. We continue our small talk making jokes and acting like good old friends. Stopping out the front of an ice cream parlour neither of us could resist.

I couldn't believe how smoothly everything was running, but of course someone obviously saw us and i was soon knocked back into reality by the storming crowd running towards us. Pulling out his phone he was talking to someone rapidly while dragging me along the side walk.

Quickening our pace to a run, we ducked down an alley way to try buy us some time. We both stood facing each other as we finally had a moment to breath and not act as we were being watched.

"I actually had a really great time with you tonight Ken," Shawn moved against the wall next to me as he intertwined his fingers with mine. "You know," - "Shawn! Shawn! Shawn!" Many voices start to yell as we hear them approaching. Pulling my hand in his we run again.

Down the alley way we make a sharp turn losing each others hands as we run which rapidly turns into a sprint. I hear Shawn yelling at me to keep up but when we make another turn my bag gets stuck in the fence.

Yelling and pleading at Shawn to help just as i think he can't hear my voice over the others i see him stop in his tracks searching for someone. Searching for me. But it's to late, i am swarmed by the rushing crowds.

Once freeing my bag, i walk back the other way running my fingers over a lovely large rip in the lovely leather bag that wasn't even mine. Half way back to what i am hoping is the apartment Shawn and i are meant to be staying at i hear some chatter but don't really think of it as much as i keep on my way. Getting lost in my thoughts as to how i am going to explain this rip to everyone on Shawn's team bright lights start to flicker in my eyes. Walking straight into a paparazzi frenzy.

[dianasdabbles-blog]

The questions...

"I'm saying sorry in advanced,

Coz this won't always go to plan"

"As you are aware of the proposal that I have given to you, after this meeting you will have till the end of the day to make your final decision but to get you started i will discuss the what will be involved." My nerves have hit an all time high in the last two minutes.

Sitting here, one on one, with Andrew is extremely difficult he is a man with a lot of power and i shouldn't even be in this room. Taking the envelop which in case the papers, opening it up.

I feel my eyes widen at how many pages there are, "Don't worry majority of it is Shawn's schedule for you to read over later today. The first few pages are what we need to discuss." Nodding as i slowly take it in.

"First things first, as discussed you will get paid and your pay will depend on what happens throughout that time period. For example, your pay will be slightly less on tour with Shawn but all your accomodation, flights, food and any other extra money you need will be covered by us. When you have to travel back and forth to places and countries all your flights, food, and accomodation will be organised, booked and paid for you. On those days that you are purely just with Shawn you will be paid more. Again this will be on a six month bases."  

Lets admit, i did partly zone out. I still couldn't believe i was sitting in a  hotel room discussing plans to leave in two weeks to go on a world tour, well part of a world tour due to missing the first half. Then they are expecting me to live in Canada for another how many weeks.

Maybe i should have paid more attention to Pia when she spoke about Shawn so i knew what kind of person he is like and that would have made my decision a little easier because what if he is some total loser or he could be a real smart ass.

... "So did you have any questions Kennedy?" Trying to remember everything Andrew said i slightly shake my head but he reassures me that i will be taking the paper work with me and i have till sometime tonight to send him a message letting him know of my decision.

Thanking everyone in the room before leaving, i make my way back down to the Reception Area.

Deciding to walk home as it will:

A) give me time to think over this opportunity - if that's what you can call it.

B) i need fresh air.

As i get down i hear loads of screaming and then seeing lots of flashing lights.

"What is going on out there?" I question myself, slightly squinting to see if it helps me see anything. Which almost closing your eyes is the most reasonable thing to do.

"Soon to be your life" A lady with dark brown hair briskly walks past me answering my question not looking back.

Standing in my daze as i try to put two and two together, i am quickly snapped back to reality of a guy looking straight through me and another bigger guy rushing towards me with the lady that briefly spoke to me before talking on the phone to someone in a hushed voice.

They come straight for me, as i try to move out of the way i collide with the boy who looks eerily familiar, dropping my envelop of paper work with a few pages spilling out. I quickly bend down to grab them only to turn and see the boy giving me a quick glance before continuing on.

Jerk.

-:-

Home at last. Did i enjoy the walk? Yes. Did it help? No.

Knowing Pia will see that i'm home and come to bombard me i decide to go through my back door slightly avoiding her window. All i need to do is sit down read over the schedule and make a decision in.. 3 hours.

I can do this. Easy.

Running up the stairs i throw my door open and have a mini-heart attack.

"PIA! What are you doing here!" clutching my chest trying to regain my breath "Weren't you meant to be going out with your brother? He got home today didn't he?"

Pia's brother, Jason, is in the Airforce so it is a pretty big deal when he comes home as it is very rarely and he always protected P and myself, more so when Kyle was away. Kyle and Jason are best mates, they hit it off just as quick as Pia and i did. Luckily. So to say that i could have forgotten about the day he was coming back is terrible. I should be ashamed.

"That's next week but tell me all about the meeting! And why haven't you checked your phone?" She closes her book as she crosses her legs sitting on my bed.

I sigh and join her showing her all the paper work, telling her about how it seemed as though they were studying my every move.

"I can't believe you didn't even get to meet him!" After telling her everything i believe that is the only thing she took out of the whole story. "I mean i would like to at least meet who i was about to be dating-"

"Fake dating" I correct her.

" 'Fake-dating' right, like they are going to expect you to sign that and hand yourself over to some random guy and you of all people who have never had a romantic commitment or relationship before get thrown in the deep end? Did you even tell them?" Waiting for my reply as P patiently stares at me "Oh god, you didn't? Oh no, what are we going to do now?"

"Pia! I don't think they need to know that like who knows if they will even realise? It can't be that hard right?"

"Woah woah woah, hold up! You are actually considering doing it?"

[dianasdabbles-blog]

The meeting

"Back and forth like a tug of war,

What's it all for, do it want it...."

June 2016,

"What?" Gobsmacked. Absolutely Gobsmacked. "What... What do i do Pia?" Staring at a similar face to mine, our jaws seem to not want to return to their original place. What just happened, i hear you ask. Let me tell you.

What just happened was that Andrew G. Shawn Mendes the singer songwriter, who i some what dislike - not hate because hate is a strong word which totally is saved for people of pure evil, has emailed me asking if i could "meet up" with him tomorrow due to being the "perfect candidate" to put some of Shawn's rumours to an end.

"Kennedy East Everrett,

After looking over your social media and background, Island Records and Myself as Shawn Mendes' Manager strongly believe you are the perfect candidate to help Shawn regain his status. I must say we are quite impressed with you dedication and commitment you have shown through your early sporting career, which we understand you got an offer you had to knock back mid last year. Our deepest apologies.

What would be involved for yourself is that you will become Shawn's  significant other for a minimum period of 6 months. If rumours haven't come to a lull by then, you will be asked to stay longer.

In saying that, it will commence immediately meaning you will be flying out at the end of this month to follow Shawn on the rest of his World Tour. After his World Tour finishes you will be asked to stay in his home town Pickering, Canada for a couple of weeks.

After that you will be allowed to fly home for a maximum 8 weeks and depending on Shawn's plans, he will either fly to you and spend a few weeks there or you will fly back out to meet with Shawn.

If you wish to know more about this offer, I will be flying into Australia sometime tomorrow morning. Please come to the Pullman's at 11:00am and ask for room number 308 as this is where we will discuss the rest of your contract, in full.

Sincerely Yours,

Andrew G.

Island Records."

So this led to Pia and myself literally going through all the gossip magazines as well as online articles of all the dating rumours Shawn has tied to his name. It goes from girl to girl to his best friend to a guy back to a girl. My head is spinning just thinking of all of those names let alone being him who has to deal with all the questions thrown his way in every interview.

"How did they even find me?" I start to question, "How did they even find my social media?" Laughing a humourless laugh. Did they just track me down somehow? How though? I didn't even think that was possible let alone i'm a nobody in the social media world, like come on i have 0 followers on twitter which i signed up to a few months ago and only people i know on Facebook and Instagram - which is on private by the way.

I doubt they would have looked too much into my sporting career but they must have if they knew about the offer. Nobody knows about the offer. My head is spinning.

"What if it's not them though? What if this is some fake?"

"But I think i have to go P..." Coming to my realisation that i need to go to understand what will be happening and to ask the thousand questions swimming in my head. "I have to go..." Staring blankly as Pia slowly starts nodding in agreement.

-:-

To say i was nervous was a complete understatement. I had no idea what was going to happen and i still didn't know if i was going to accept it. If i did accept it what would happen to hockey? What situation will that put me in there, as nerve-wracking as it is i was still somewhat excited. Excited about the possibilities of travelling, seeing the world, venturing out of my comfort zone. And of course, having a "significant other".

I have always been so focused on my sport that i had zero time to date anyone, once i went one this date and it was the worst experience ever! We went to the movies and watched Pitched Perfect (yes, that is how long ago it was) and even though i had seen it 4 times before, he was completely involved in the movie which was great but did i mention i had to buy my own ticket? And drive myself there.

Once the movie finished i was so hungry i could've eaten my arm so i asked "Oh did you want to go get some food or something?" and of course he turned around and was like "Nah" and that was the conversation. Needless to say my mum was coming to pick us up and drop him off so i was left starving.

As we were waiting for my mum to come an older lady started talking to me which i was more than grateful for, i honestly think she could tell that's how bad it was.

So after that one date i promised myself never to let it happen again and here i am 4 years later getting handed a boy. Ha. Funny that but i wasn't going to make the mistake of falling for him even if i do take the offer.

I am doing it for me and he will probably kick me to the curb once i am no longer needed. I'll just play the part, it's just a job.

-:-

10:50am i walk into Pullman's, hands starting to sweat i wipe them on my jeans and pull my hair to one side hoping this was the right choice.

"Room 308 please." smiling at the receptionist hoping this won't take long,

"I'll need some ID first" Handing over my drivers license, she takes a quick few notes before handing it back directing me to elevator. "Level 3 room 8" she smiles before sending me off.

Maybe i should wait till right on 11 before knocking, will they appreciate me being early but what if they aren't ready yet or even worse, not even here.

Ding

The elevator breaks my train of thought as i walk out biting the bullet as only two minutes have past. Approaching the door, taking a deep breath before knocking.

The wait felt like forever, standing waiting for someone to answer when a really tall, muscly man answered the door.

"What are you doing here kid?" His voice was deep and i almost didn't catch what he said as it was almost mumbled.

"Uhh.. umm.. I'm here to see Andrew?" My voice barely came out as a whisper as i tried to quickly pull myself together.

"Ahhh, so you're the mystery girl here to help Shawn! Well then, right this way ma'm"

"My name is Kennedy, you don't have to call me ma'm" He stopped in his path and i had a mini heart-attack as he just looked at me. Did i say something wrong? What have i done, my life is going to end! Finally he smiled,

"I know who you are Kennedy, i was apart of the group that found you." Wrapping his arm around me as he guided me further into the room. Whispering as we turned the corner "Besides you already passed one test" as i was meet with what felt like a millions of eyes all on me.

I don't know what came over me, well actually i did. I froze. There were three security guards, including the one whose name i didn't get, plus another guy who i am assuming is Andrew.

"Kennedy. Hope Big Rob was welcoming" Ah, so that's what his name is. "Thank you for coming today, i'm Andrew, Shawn Mendes' manager." Shaking his hand with a polite smile "Please take a seat and we'll get started."

[dianasdabbles-blog]

A plan of hope

June 2016,

Imagine having a new story each week with your name in the title. Thats what my life is like at the moment. Even though being on tour kind of eases it. It doesn't work enough. That's why i have handed this situation over to my manager Andrew. Somehow we will put an end to it and i am willing to do anything. Anything

Right now. It is me and Andrew in a room as he paces back and forth, this is our final hope on solving it after rejecting so many options already. Having a months break in the tour will help with what ever Andrew has.

"So, what's it come to?" Breaking the silence.

"It wasn't easy and lots of people have been throwing ideas out there, as you know, but i think this one we just might have struck gold with." Finally he stops pacing a picks up a folder. What ever is in this folder holds my last hope of ending these rumours.

"This is it Shawn, we finally need to put an end to these rumours. And this is our solution."

Teaser: the message.

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Kennedy Everrett

"Things that i thought would last

Well they're fading, they're fading"

January 2016

Riding back from my very first session of 2016, i take this moment to reflect on last year. My ankle is healing well but still not where i'd like it which is disappointing and my hinder some selections for this year. Meaning if it doesn't continue to improve i may have to start looking at other options. After a couple of early months out, my fitness had peaked and now it was time to sharpen my on field skills. Containing heavy strapping i had managed to secure a starting position within the team, who went onto win Gold at the National Championships. Selected for international training camps and test matches, i just prayed i hadn't pushed it to hard too soon.

Entering the house as quiet as possible i change into my swimmers and hit the beach, not only a great recovery tool but the best way to spend any free time. Having grown up knowing the only way to walk on water was with a long board. Learning the hard way when the world gives you a north-easter to not pat the blue bottles, they may be cute but are extremely painful. To not think every splash are just fish as it normally turns out to be something triple your size but they aren't always dangerous. And when you pick up a turtle make sure you can see its face otherwise you will receive a pleasant surprise.

Double training sessions can be cruelly introduction to the beginning of the New Year, unfortunately our program or our coaches cut us any slack. Being from the outskirts of the town nothing opens until 1pm so i have to scrap together some snacks and a meal before heading off again. French toast and some fruit normally does the trick and if not, i'll just head in early and eat at the Institute.

Boy was it a tough one. Conditioning on-field sessions can never be fun especially when you see them pull out the monitoring screens. Apart of the Institute, whenever you train you are given a heart rate monitor and a GPS. These things track literally everything, from the obvious being your heart rate over certain periods to the distance you cover and how quickly you covered that distance. So when the monitors come out, it means everyone can see it in live time. If you need to be worked harder, they know. If you're trying to sneak a rest, they know. And if you don't hit what you're meant to... Lets just hope they give you a bucket.

February 2016

Pia and I both decided on a gap year, mostly so we could earn some cold hard cash as we were so desperately in need. Luckily we had the prime beach at our backyards which lead to many of the hottest surf competitions and the hottest of guys. In between my loaded schedule, i worked as many shifts as possible at Woody's the local Surf Shack. Pia and I had always followed Kyle everywhere when we were younger and he was the one that practically forced Woody to give us the jobs.

Kyle Mason Everrett the local hero. The youngest person to make it on the World Surf League Tour which is great but now he is away all the time. Ten years older, he was able to force me into a lot of things that i hadn't thought through before hand and every time we tried something new we'd always end up in a competition. I must add, we are sitting pretty close on the score board with Kyle being only two points ahead.

Teaser: Introduction of Shawn Mendes...

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Pia Wilkinson

"C . O . N . F . I . D . E . N . T

that's me, i'm confident"

May 2016,

The month of birthdays. Pia's birthday is up first hitting us off hard as the 2nd of May rolls around. Continuing our famous day and night tradition involving a whole lot of ice cream.

"Are you readyyy!" Screaming my way through the hallways of Pia's house.

"Hell yeah i am!" I hear her voice coming from upstairs, trailing my belongings up the stairs "Oh my goodness! Kenny!" Pia screams, opening the door just in time for me to make an entrance dropping my bags all over the floor as i turn. "Let the partying begin!" Grabbing my hands we jump up and down, spinning round as we fall down. "You know just because you're staying over doesn't mean you have to bring everything, you live right there" P tries pointing out the window as she slowly catches her breath back.

"Who said there was clothes in there?" Not going to lie, they were her presents it would be ridiculous for me to pack my whole cupboard of clothes when i could just climb through my window besides i only need my pyjama's and a nice set of clothes and that would be us done for the two days! I'm not a person who really cares if they wear the same thing twice in a row unless you completely cover one in sweat till it is a shade darker or even a little bit of sweat but say going to the shops or out for lunch that'll be just fine.

-:-

Birds chirping as the sun slowly rises, coming through the cracks of the un-closed curtains to wake us up peacefully.... How i could only dream of waking up. Instead there was jumping on the bed and music played all night long that soon after we passed out we were straight back up 4 hours later as i gave Pia my presents.

"Can i have it now Ken?" The hundredth time this morning i have been question about the bag of presents slowly teasing her as they sit and stare at her. "Come on Ken, it is 6am on MY birthday. Give 'em to me" Pretending i don't hear as i continue cooking breakfast. More pancakes. "Kenny." Pia sternly commands my attention.

"Mmm?" Not turning to face her, concentrating on not over-cooking the pancakes.

"Ugh. You always do this!" I know she rolled her eyes and now has turned her back on me "Kennedy Everrett why must you do this to me.." Giving me her best pout-y face she can muster up.

"Just let me fin-" Before i can even finish my sentence Pia is up the stairs in her room and back down all in a matter of 10 seconds - okay maybe i'm exaggerating - with the bag of presents but of course she doesn't wait opening up one of the gifts as i hear a squeal of excitement.

"Kenny, i love you i love you i love you soooo much!" Hearing the happiness ooze out of her mouth.

Turning around seeing her hold the Pandora box in her hands as her eyes glow in amazement. So i got her some of the limited element charms that are really cutely patterned and have the element written on the sides of them, even i'm not one for jewellery but these were cute.

Giving her a smile i plonk myself next to her, "I knew you would P" pulling her close to me "Come on are you going to open the rest?" Nodding her head she sets to work, expressing her love for me each time she opens the next.  

June 2016,

My 19th birthday just passed, Pia and i were still on a high even though we still never hit up a club. We made a pact to each other that we wouldn't drink. Even though we have been to house parties, we prefer to stay sober and enjoy each others company rather then make a fool of ourselves and live in shame for the rest of our lives. And of course we wouldn't want our children and grand children and great grand children having to experience the scarring image of us shaking up on some random guy. Yuck.

Nothing has changed since being 19. I don't feel older, nothing has changed. Life has continued on to be the one big scribbly ball of mess it always has been with plenty of doubt and sudden change, second chances and helping people. We are now half way through the year and Pia swears something big is going to change our lives this year. I don't understand where she gets these feelings from, she likes to call it 'her zen' but who knows... Maybe she'll be right.

-:-

"Can you believe he is half way through his World Tour already?" Pia decided to come to training with me today so the drive back was full of gossip of what she found while 'researching'.

"It always goes quick P but i still don't understand your obsession.."

"It's not an obsession" she gasps as if i had just offended her or Shawn. I get it he has some what blessed genes and he has this awesome natural talent that would be great to have but heaps of people are being discovered daily but just something irks me about people so young being this successful so early. 

What have they done to be so well-known? How hard have they worked? Or is it just purely their family has money and has pushed their son into the spotlight of fame and success? I will never know. "He is just mesmerising and so well accomplished already, how does it happen?"

"You already know my answer to that Pia." Grumbling as i grip the steering wheel a little harder.

"You know what Ken? You are too judgemental. Stop being a Debby Downer and just admit that not everyone that is young and successful were bought into fame.." I huff.

"Yes. How else do they become "discovered" and all of a sudden selling hit singles or taking the major roll in a film. nobody just wakes up, goes to an audition or label and poof, magic. All of a sudden they are jumping on a plane doing sold out world tours and fighting of paparazzi? Someone payed big bucks to get them that deal. And besides everyone these days has to look like a god to even be heard." Rolling her eyes, she finally lets the conversation drop but not long after a song of his comes on, and yes i admit it, we both are screaming the lyrics out.

Just because i don't approve of ones path to success, if they are good i will give them the credit but i just enjoy hearing stories of all the hard work people have had to put in to become where they are because who honestly cares about the rich pop princess thinking she owns everything and anyone that comes near her, who can't take no as an answer and when they do get told no they have a public meltdown which ruins their career.

"Hey Ken," P turns off the radio which make me really anxious. "You just got an email from Andrew G. from Island Records." I pull into the drive way slowly shutting the engine off. The colour has drained from her face as i know she knows who Andrew G from Island Records is.

"Which is..." I try to encourage her to say something instead of opening and closing her mouth like a fish.

"W-w-which is" She looks up wide eyes, "Shawn Mendes Manager."

Teaser: Just a little filler to give you the other perspective. Small and quick but i think it'll be enough...

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Shawn Mendes

"There's this movie that i think you'll like

This guy decides to quit his job and heads to New York City"

March 2016,

music. música. musiek. musika. glazba. muziek-. la musique. musik-. tónlist.

It can be said in a thousand languages and it still be one of the most beautiful things that everyone can relate to but understand in different ways. Each song can tell a thousand stories to one person. The emotion behind it is truly incredible. But what that artist has to cope with the struggle, the hate. It is ridiculous. This month Pia, my best friend, signed me up to twitter so i could see what the 'rave' was all about but really it was another form for 'fans' to congratulate one artist while destroy another.

Shawn Mendes. Young Canadian Logan Eastwood, 17 years of age and already has his own World Tour.

Pia always spoke of him as some god whereas if i was as successful as Shawn i couldn't imagine what it would be like it would be amazing but when someone is so successful so young, i wonder have they been given everything from such a young age? Fast tracked to the spotlight? Their world crumbling to pieces when they finally get told no? I wonder.

Having a look through his page multiple interviews and girls screaming his name when i only know his hit song. How does one get such a quick fan base? How did these girls find him? Where was he found? Where was he established?

But with so much success there are people trying to tear you down, whether it is through spiteful up front comments or subtle hints. Interview after interview. People trying to tell him who to be with, who his is, what to be, how to act. I don't know about Shawn but i would for sure feel suffocated.

April 2016,

Kennedy Everrett

10 following         0 followers

I was quite the rave on twitter gaining followers by the minute. 

Not really. I was a boring person on twitter people had tried following me but soon realised i didn't post anything so they unfollowed me which i was quite grateful for as i didn't know who they were but then that got me thinking i don't know the people i'm following i just know of them. And to sum this part up i just got really confused with myself and gave up.

Just as i was getting into deep thought about how celebrities answer so well with questions that are just sprung on them, Pia walks through my bedroom door.

"Why do you never seem to answer your phone?" Pia states with an irritated eye roll. 

I don't think i've quite introduced Pia to you. Well she was new to the town i lived in and being the active little person she is, she came bounding over to my doors with cookies buying my heart with food for friendship. Ever since then we have been inseparable and living next door is just a bonus.

"Because i can't be bothered to charge it" I say with a small sigh laying back on my bed with an attempt to throw a pillow at her. "Besides, why do you need to text me when you practically live in this house?"

This time, it’s her time to sigh as she ignores my question and grabs my computer. "Ooo.. Shawn Mendes Has A Rumoured Girlfriend. Lets find out who she is!" 

Again with her fixated with gossip and celebrity news ,i had to get ready for training. "Training again? I thought you were on holidays still?" P asks with a sideways glance.

"Nope" popping the 'p' "You are still in bed when i leave in the mornings but you know holidays only last a week and a half at the most" She groans into my pillow.

Training wasn't as gruelling as i expected it to be, it was actually a light session. By the time i got home Pia had passed out on my bed, so i took a quick shower before i woke her up.

"What time is it?" P attempts to say which sounds more like a few muffles then anything else.

"Only 8:45pm, did you eat before falling asleep?" She replies with a guilty shake of the head "Well what are you waiting for lets go get pancakes!" And with that i am dragging her out the door.

Teaser: A bit more of the history of Pia Wilkinson...

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Setting the Vibes

Kennedy Everrett is an athlete until many unexpected turns and twists give her a new fate not even she could imagine. Grown up on the coast of Australia, knowing the sand and sea as her home what happens when she gets an offer that changes her 'career'.

Shawn Mendes an up and coming singer as well as American Heartthrob has multiple rumours about who he is as a person and who he is dating. None of which are true until his management throws a spanner in the works. Canadian born, winter and snow is what he knows.

Characters: I will add as they come in and out of the story but only the main characters not everyone.

Gigi Hadid as Kennedy Everrett

Elite athlete. Adventurous. Strong on the outside but emotional inside. Use to rejection. 19 years old. NSW, Australia.

Shawn Mendes as Himself

Singer/Songwriter. Structure. Good at hiding things thanks to fame. Frustrated. 18 years old. Pickering, Canada.

Brittany Robertson as Pia Wilkinson

Best friend of Kennedy. Ball of Happiness. Kennedy's light. 19 years old. NSW, Australia

Chris Hemsworth as Kyle Everrett

Brother of Kennedy Everrett. Local Hero. WSL. 

Hope you guys enjoy it.

"You're the reason i feel so strong

The reason why i'm hanging on

You know you gave me all the time

Or did i give enough of mine"

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Video Quiz

“How long have you known each other? Uhmm its been… 8 years now?” I nod,

“If Shawn was given one wish, what would he wish for?” … “Oooh can I answer this one?” I get his nod of approval, “As much as I like to think World Peace or something good like that, I feel as though it would be to make Hogwarts real..”

“You know me to well,”

Holding my hand to my heart and batting my eyes at him, “My knight in shining armour”

“What’s my hardest song to perform live?”

“Oh Three Empty Words!”

“No, I’d say Ruin”

“But you always forget the words..” This earns a pillow to the face.

“How did you meet?” … “We met in school”

“Do you play hockey?” ... “Yes and i beat him everytime!”

“When is your SM3 coming out?” ... “Soon” He says sheepishly to which i laugh.

“Who is more affectionate?” … “Definitely you, Shawn!”

“I think you’re pretty affectionate too”

“Whatever,” rolling my eyes attempting to find another question

“No no,” Moving his phone a bit further away, “She is affectionate, I just like to display my affection while she is a bit more.. I want to say shy, but that’s not the right word” This earns him a playful shove, “A bit more conservative”

“Does Shawn snore?” I read from the screen, “Yes… Well occasionally, it’s cute and quiet”

“Oooh, Who like is the big spoon?”

“I think you are most of the time”

“Mm I like being the big spoon but it just happens to work that way as Shawn, here is on his phone till like 1am where as I like to sleep! And also, as you all know Shawn is a giant he believes he can get the whole bed to himself so I also just end up on top of him a lot”

Resting his head on mine, he whispers in my ear “Yeah you’re good at that”

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Video Chat

Six months have gone by since we, I, unintentionally announced to the world that Shawn Mendes was officially off the market. Sorry ladies. Surprisingly it hasn’t been that bad, after the initial it was a little chaos but now someone else has gotten together or another Hollywood Couple have split and we have been semi left alone.

Sitting on the floor of another hotel room, Shawn’s playing with my hair while I lean my head against his thigh trying to come up with todays plan.

“We have to do something social today according to Andrew,”

“What a shame, I was planning to stay locked away forever”

“Any ideas yet?” … “Apart from food – that’d be helpful”

Sighing in defeat, I slide I little further along the floor so I am looking up at Shawn. How is it possible that a man can look good from an angle but god, he looks ten times bigger then he actually is.

Feeling pins and needles coming on, I stand up using Shawn for assistance as I decide to play some background music. To much sedentary action cause sudden energy bursts. Connecting with the speakers I turn to Shawn,

“Oh, are you doing another video?”

“No,” … “But I am now and you, my friend, are going to be in it”

“My friend?”

“Honey,” Receiving a sweet kiss, “I’ll start it and whenever you’re ready”

“Do you want a dance party first?” I muster up my best pout as I know the answer

“As I said, I’ll start and whenever you’re ready”

I head into the bedroom for a quick dance to get rid of some of my energy, possibly playing the music a bit to loud. Leaving the room, I see Shawn sitting in the same position as he was before. Keeping some background music on, sitting next to him.

“They are asking for you” He whispers, turning to face me but letting everyone know I’m sitting right there

“I wonder how they knew I was here?” I whisper back knowing the people watching can hear us. Smirking he doesn’t move, so I move my face closer to his but slightly into view. He response by doing the same.

Having everyone believe that the tension right now is ‘sexual’ when really it has turned into a staring competition and I am trying my hardest not to laugh. Unfortunately, he reaches for my feet.

“Ha, I win!”

“But you cheated!”

“Score update please,” He sounds confident but “Shawn: 4 and (y/nn) –“

“6! Ha, Looooooser!”

Brushing it off like he is catching up to me but he doesn’t know what’s coming for him.

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Video Girl

I had only just woken up but I knew Shawn had been awake for sometime as his side of the bed is now cold and there is any empty mug on his bedside table. Slowly rolling out of bed, I hear him speaking to someone about his video that really took off.

The flashback, the memories, bring a great start to my morning. Not even six months later he had taken off becoming a huge hit. Sporadically coming back every now and then, which meant a lot of things had changed. We always kept in touch but with the same amount of time apart we grew up. We had needs that eventually we realised we could only get from each other.

Collecting his empty mug I open the door from our room.

“Morning Babe” I kiss his forehead as I realise he is facetiming someone,

“Did you want another tea?” I whisper as I shake his empty mug, Shawn doesn’t respond straight away but eventually nods.

Grabbing some coffee for myself and some yoghurt and muesli, I take a seat next to him on the lounge.

“You know, you still haven’t heard me rap…” I mumble out with a mouthful of muesli

“Uh yea,” He smirks as I wave the half covered spoon of yoghurt in the air as I swallow my breakfast

“Who are you talking?” Still whispering

“You know you’ve never been good at whispering,” Playfully giving him a shove, “but if you really want to know who I’m speaking to..” I nod as I take another spoonful, “Say hello to the world my love” Pointing the camera onto me.

My morning bliss has suddenly gone. Suddenly realising that I am only wearing his shirt. Shawn and I had never been secretive about the whole thing. Our families knew what was happening before we even did. I guess I have never visited him before and at home we had nothing to hide so I had just slipped up.

Swallowing gracefully I wave to the camera, “Hi World”.

Shawn carries on for a couple minutes answering more questions before finishing and turns to me stifling a laugh, “Well now you don’t only get to rap for me but the whole world!”  

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Video Boy

Your head hangs off Shawn’s bed as you watch him get impatient with himself trying to perfect right tune out of his guitar. You hold back a laugh as the world upside down makes everything better.  

“You know, if you’re going to do this song you’ve got to include the rap.”

“I don’t rap”

“But I do” This gets his attention and all gets me to roll over becoming slightly dizzy in the process but it doesn’t stop me as I have a winning argument, “If you’re going to do this right let me help.”

I stand up collecting all the necessary times we need for the video. Him, his phone and his guitar.  Wondering his house until he is happy with the background.

He grabs a chair and I lean back against the table and count him in, once I know we have a few great shots I start to mess with him.

“They were okay… But you know what would be great?” Being completely over dramatic, “You should so take your shirt off”

Now I don’t know if he is messing with me but he took it off and my breath. We are just friends, calm down. You shouldn’t be thinking this, come on focus.

Slightly flustered, he gives me a wink 

“Perfect! Oh My God! This is going to be great! Okay, one.. two.. three”

In all honesty, that was probably his best take but of course I can’t tell him that. Not yet anyway. From there I tell him his voice needs to be a little bit lower or a little bit higher which he does not question.

“Okay, so how are we going to work in my rap?”

“Enough with the jokes, lets go get a wrap”

[dianasdabbles-blog]

The Girl

So this is complete inspired by The Girl - City and Colour. It has been one of my favourite songs for a while now and tonight was the night! It’s also the song on the ipod...

Word Count: 2,272

I have ‘yes man’ syndrome. I can never seem to say no to anyone especially Shawn. Shawn and I go way back, meeting through mutual friends to which we then organised to meet up and of course they couldn’t come to me so I said “of course guys, I’ll just jump on a 20 hour flight no problem at all!” and i did.  It sounds like a dangerous decision but as young girls Melissa and I met on the safe world wide web to which we then created skype for each other and she introduced me to many of her friends. We were so creative we even played Uno over skype!

Melissa and I discussed everything and anything with nothing being off limits since we couldn’t physically do anything together. I like to think she was the one that helped me through puberty. I was introduced to Brian and Shawn about 6 months in but little did I know Melissa had a secret agenda when we turned 16. Maybe, definitely the plan had been in the works for longer then that but 16 is when I found out about it and a lot more. Being 16, I saved up half the money to fly out when apparently it was impossible for the three of them to fly to me. Little did I know 2013 held a lot of firsts.

Within the month, I had experienced my first proper party. My first time breaking the law. My first experience with alcohol. My first 7 minutes in heaven. My first kiss. My first night at a boys house. My first time playing the guitar. My first time seeing snow. My first date that I actually didn’t realise was a date. And my first real tears over a boy. When I arrived home I was a changed girl.

2013, wasn’t just a big deal for me it was for Shawn and all of the gang. It was when Shawn was picked up – which was probably lucky I wasn’t there otherwise there most likely more firsts on that list. 2014, was a filler year. Shawn took off and Brian was always by his side which meant Melissa and I were stuck to skype sessions alone. We lost touch with Shawn and Brian which sucked but Melissa and I became the biggest groupies ever.

Now fast forward  two years, Shawn was coming out to Australia and I couldn’t be more excited. Melissa had seen Brian of the course of 2015 to which they rekindled, which I made her pass on his number so I could speak to him and we were on good terms but nowhere near as close as we were before. but 2016 was the year of tours! Brian had managed to snag Melissa a backstage pass and unfortunately I was left to fend for myself as both Melissa and Brian became MIA on me the closer it came to Shawn coming out.

I didn’t want to think much of it but I knew Brian would have known what happened between Shawn and I the last time we saw each other. Obviously I knew Melissa knew as she was the first one I called when I landed. I didn’t care what time it was. I wasn’t in love with Shawn, I didn’t think I was in love with him as once I realised what we had I was in a whole different time zone.

Anyway I again had used my saved money to buy my own backstage/VIP pass to go see him. I just wanted to see him. Inconveniently, keeping in touch with Melissa who happened to never be free when I was so our conversations were broken by hours but she was my best friend and we had become too close for her to hide anything from me so I knew Brian knew everything I had told her about Shawn, which more then likely meant he knew I would be in his Q&A.

           Melissa’s POV

“Brian, are we going to tell him? He is going to see her the second he walks in there!” I pace back and forwards, “You know she is holding onto every little bit of hope there is. Like she may be a year older then us but you know how naïve she is otherwise she would have missed that plane! Oh and don’t get me started on her optimism, she hasn’t even questioned his motives as to why he just left her high and dry. She still looks the exact same well no actually she looks way better but still that makes it worse, he won’t miss her!”

“Lis, come get the door.”

Throwing my phone onto my bed as I run to get the door which is pushed open from the other side as soon as I touch it. A large figure storms in and all I see is an innocent Brian left standing outside, shaking his head. As Brian and I walk back to my room again I am meet with the same large figure standing in my bedroom now approaching me.

“Shawn.. Sha-“

“So, you weren’t going to tell me that she paid to see me?”

I counted down the days and the close it got the more my nerves out weighed my excitement. Luckily I didn’t have the big drive to make as my apartment was only a short 20minutes away from the venue but that didn’t stop me from being extra early. Having spent the whole day before deciding what I was going to wear, casual but classy. I mean in the end it is a concert after all, I don’t want to look too out of place. But I also know his weakness for leather jackets.

The doors open and about 20 odd girls rush in to the room to get the closest to the front, I hang towards the back as I know I want to see him but I’m not sure I want Shawn to see me. Once everyone is semi calmed down they announce that he is coming out, which I give one quick glance around me to double check the closest exit. To my left.

The fabric parts as Shawn comes out and in that moment I swear I have had all the air sucked out of my lungs. I notice he scans the room but after that I don’t hear much until everyone is cheering and I see him stand heading back towards the fabric. With one last look over his shoulder with a wave, we may eye contact and in that moment I feel 16 again.

           Shawn’s POV

“Brian have you seen her?”

“Of course man, I made sure she came otherwise I had strict instructions to go get her”

“Have you seen her though? Like I thought she was cute two years ago but what a difference two years can make!”

“Are you forgetting, you are the one that left her out in the dark and refused the acknowledge her for those past two years? You could have that sooner but you wished she didn’t exist” … “Ow!”

“Just go get her Brian”

“Look who finally grew some balls!”

We now go on a tour of the stadium, getting shown where Shawn Mendes eats, where Shawn Mendes hangs out, I couldn’t feel more like I groupie and I some what wish I could bail so I tell the security guards that I need to go to the bathroom which they freely let me leave the group. After 10 or so minutes of trying to find my way out, I hear my name turning and seeing Brian to which I run to and we spend another 5 or so catching up, wondering the halls and laughing like idiots until he pushes me into a room to which I am now face to face with the boy I came to see.

To say the least the awkwardness disappeared within the first minute and 7 minutes in heaven turned into I don’t know how long but people are now looking for Shawn. After our little meeting I had been persuaded to hang around for the sound check and stay for the concert. My very own private concert.

Skip forwards another two years and here I am sitting here on a plane looking through a photo album I have put together for Shawn for our second year anniversary. It’s meant to be a surprise but I couldn’t hide it from everyone, sometimes I feel like I’m dating all three. Shawn, Melissa and Brian. Arriving at the airport, I didn’t know who was picking me up but I knew it wouldn’t be Shawn as Melissa would play the ‘I didn’t tell him’ so my bets were on Melissa or Brian. Once I had my bag and I walk through the doors my eyes scanned hoping Melissa was here but I was met with a very formal looking man holding a card with my name on it.

Placing my bag down, I introduce myself to which he takes my bag without a word and I have no choice but to follow the guy. Opening the door to a fancy jeep to which I know Shawn is behind as I have never met anyone who loves jeeps more. In the car is a little yellow box with a note stuck to the top.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You’ll never know dear, how much I love you”

Inside was a little ipod and some earphones to which held another song and this one brought some tears to my eyes,

“I wish I could do better by you

‘Cause that’s what you deserve

You sacrifice so much of your life

In order for this to work

While I’m off chasing my own dreams

Sailing around the world

Please, know that I’m yours to keep

My Beautiful Girl”

Once it finished I was met with the sound of Shawn’s loving voice detailing when he first met me on skype with Lissa, to sitting in the room as we had our puberty talks, to Uno, to actually meeting in person and how great that month in 2013 was, to forgiving me for not realising how romantic his airport date was and how sorry he was for shutting me out, to he how freaked when he had found out I was going to be at his concert, to the detailed plan he made with Brian to nail me and it worked, to finally realising he could let me go again, and as his voice was becoming quieter he said,

“My love, for everything you sacrificed for me I wanted to give you somewhere you can feel safe when you’re miles away from home and hopefully we can grow together and make this ours”

Shawn’s voice had now disappeared from my ears as I realise we have come to a stop. Wiping my face free of tears, I tell the mysterious driver that we aren’t at Shawn’s place as I know for sure this isn’t it. Still without a response he slides me a key. Confused I continue to bicker at his silent protest, threatening to even call Shawn my phone dings.

Rolling my eyes I tuck the key into my pocket, thanking the mystery driver and grab my bag. I look at the house/condo that I stand in front of shaking my head as I remember conversations of him wanting to buy a house. As I walk up the few steps out the front I put my bag down just as my phone goes off,

‘DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT KNOCKING USE THE KEY. DAMN IT.’

Kill me now, chivalry is dead. I shake my head taking the key from my pocket opening the door that turns out isn’t even locked I laugh. I am met with the sweet smell of pizza. Closing the door and making sure this time it’s locked I leave my bags next to the door venturing down the hallway, smelling out the food. To which I am met with a shirtless but very gentlemanly man.

“Happy anniversary my Love” He rounds the counter top coming over to greet me,

“Happy anniversary” Embracing me in his long arms, I listen to his heart beat somewhat quicker then normal.

“Welcome Home”

I pull away, more like push him off me as I now believe jetlag is catching up with me and I must be hearing things

“Did you say… Home?” A nod is all I get in response and now I know I’m definitely not hearing things. It’s all too much to take in and I struggle to find words

“Shawn.. I- Look- Uhh… It’s just- Why didn’t you speak to me about this first?”

“Hey.. Hey.. It’s okay, take a moment. I know you like things by the book but I have loved you for five yea–“

“Don’t forget three of those years we didn’t speak” … “I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it.. it just came out!”

Shawn smirks, “I still loved you and I thought half your time your at home and the other half your with me, why not have our own place? If you really don’t like it….” He lowers his voice pulling me closer,

“Put a shirt on Mendes!” I give his chest a playful slap, “And I don’t not like I just need some.. time” I muster up my best smile as he runs to his, I mean our bedroom.

“I’ve got your bags!”

“Don’t you want your present?”

“Not yet, the pizza is going cold!”

[dianasdabbles-blog]

Little Habits

Just a quick little blurb, hit me up with some requests

Cred to @lilmuffinmendes for reblogging this adorable cherub

You know when you get nervous some people play with their hands or hair or you might get clammy and sweaty. I am guilty of it, I stumble over my words and get easily embarrassed but my sweet, sweet man bites his nails. Not only when he is nervous but when he thinks, when he is confused, practically all the time he just bites his nails.

At first I thought it was cute and all but then it got to the annoying and kinda gross because he just wouldn’t stop and now I use it to my advantage. It sounds strange but I have been around him now for three years I know the different ways he bites them. Now that sounds stranger out loud. 

What i didn’t realise is that fans have been noticing it too. But sitting here waiting for Shawn to come home, i have found the most incredible footage that gives me a thousand and one emotions. At first it was funny and i had a good laugh but after the sixth time, his quick response to drop his hand, his innocent little smile, the shyness in his response and he knows he’s been called out. It is all too much. 

Safe to say, i have found a new love for this little habit and i’ll be sure to show him when he gets home.