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Diary Of Maxine X Podcast - Episode #1 “Follow the yellow brick road - Diary Of Maxine X” Chapter One: Follow the Yellow Brick Road. By Maxine X

Welcome to the Diary of Maxine X Podcast!

I’m Maxine X, your host and Canadian Kinky Wife, I’m also known as “Canada’s Top Fetish Porn Star”, from the Canadian Docu-series “Webdreams” Season 3, I’m a fetish model and an adult film star, and because this podcast is going up on youtube, you’ll have to look me up in your own private time.

LISTEN ON: Anchor Spotify Google Podcasts

Dedication #1: to my best friend Andrea

This podcast is dedicated to my best friend Andrea, who has helped me on my spiritual journey and has been an amazing friend to me.

Brought to you by:

This episode has been brought to you by Sliquid Lube. Natural Intimate products from SliquidLube.com. Check them out on youtube at, “Sliquid Intimate” for 6 tips for better oral and all about their flavoured lube.

Follow Sliquid on Twitter @Sliquid. A big SHOUT OUT to CEO, Dean Elliot on twitter @SliquidCEO for giving me two different packages of his amazing lube! I also love the Sliquid T-Shirts and the fun Sliquid Stickers!

Thanks, from everyone at Maxine X Productions.

About Episode #1

Welcome to my very first episode of Diary of Maxine X Podcast!

In this episode I want to read you the first chapter of the book I’m writing, “Follow the yellow brick road – Diary of Maxine X” by Maxine X.

This story takes place in Windsor, Canada when I started to go back into “The Real World” and my husband Scott and I opened an Adult Store, “Maxine’s Adult Playground”. After eight years of working in the Adult Industry, I met the new generation of Porn viewers and they met their very first porn star.

Dedication #2: to my husband Scott

My book is dedicated to my amazing husband Scott, my soul mate and my business partner, without you, I would have never become who I am today.

I love you with all my heart.

Follow the yellow brick road – Diary of Maxine X

Chapter One: We all go on a Journey to Find Ourselves.

It was a warm October day; the sun was shining as if it was still summer in Canada. My new Adult Store was quiet that morning, so I was working on trying to write a book about my life. Just then the Christmas bell on the doorknob RANG, breaking my silence and several college students walked in like they were on a mission. Making a B-Line right for me they stood at the counter where I was sitting at and stared at me. Inside, I felt as if they had backed me up against a wall and invaded my space. And trying to hide my inner panic I calmly asked, “Can I help you guys with anything?”

Two girls intensely stared at me while sipping their ice-cold, fruity Starbucks and I could almost hear the animated SIPPING noise they were making. Another girl towered over me with her height, looking at me like I was an Alien. And two guys stood there with blank gazes on their faces. Then one of girls blurts out, “We heard you’re in Porn.”

It was about 3:00 pm at that time and I started to imagine that these kids must have just gotten off of school. They probably went right to the Starbucks, which is two doors down from my store and gossiped about the Porn Star they heard working downtown. After a couple minutes, perhaps one of the bolder girls suggested, “Let’s just go there and ask her.”

After marching right into “Maxine’s Adult Playground” like the owned the place and bluntly asking a stranger, “Are you in Porn?” I simply admitted, “Yep.” But they were not satisfied.

The shortest guy out of the group decided to speak his mind and say, “We’ve never heard of you before.”

“Well, I’ve been in the Industry for almost a decade, but mostly in the Fetish scene.” I replied trying to excuse my lack of fame.

“There are a million girls in the Adult Industry that you’ve never heard of guys. And I’m not in a lot of the mainstream movies. I’ve been in Porn for about 8 years now. I own my own Production Company, my own website and I’m from Canada. Canadian performers don’t become as famous as the ones who work in L.A. However, I was in the Canadian Docu-series on TV called, Webdreams – Season 3 for a whole year, if you’ve ever heard of that?” I asked.

“Nope.” One guy replied, while the other shook his head and the girls continued staring at me, like I was the strangest person they’ve ever met.

“It was on “Showcase” on cable tv, around 10 pm and it was aired in nine countries around the world guys. It was on a couple years ago, in 2008, so maybe you guys were too young to watch it.” I replied.

Dead silence and stares.

“It doesn’t matter. Can I help you guys find anything here?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“How did you get into Porn?” One of the guys asked.

“It’s a long story. I’m writing a book about it now, so I’ll guess you’ll have to read about it when it comes out.” I replied trying to change the subject.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting a disease?” A girl asked with a disgusted look on her face.

“We all get tested before we shoot with each other. People in the Industry get our health tests, our STD tests or we don’t shoot.” I replied. “We’re probably cleaner than the average person who has one-night stands after a night of partying.”

“Did your parents disown you when they found out? Mine would.” One of the girls asked Sipping her Starbucks.

“I’m a grown up.” I replied. “I’m almost thirty-six years old. My parents don’t have a say, in how I live my life.”

“What if the guy is really ugly, do you still have to fuck him?” The tall girl asked.

“I don’t care what the guy looks like. I just care if I look good. All that matters for me is, that I do the job right.” I replied. “And hopefully I get booked for another. Besides, I’ve worked with a lot of hot guys. It’s just a bonus for me.”

“Do you have to do everything they tell you to do? What if you don’t want to do something?” One of the girls asked.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but you should have told your agent or the company that you’re shooting with “your limits”, before you get booked for the scene.” I replied. “Filming Porn is not like it’s a last-minute thing. You don’t just show up somewhere to have sex. A Porn video is planned production, sometimes even scripted. Everyone knows what they are going to be filming that day. If they don’t tell you ahead of time, then you’re not working with professionals. And I don’t work with just anyone. I work with the big companies, friends in the Industry or people I know who have a good reputation.”

“Can you get me into Porn?” One of the guys ask.

“No.” I said.

“Why?” Raising his voice little a little kid.

“Because I don’t want to. And I don’t work with Amatures.” I said, getting tired of being asked so many questions.

“Will you fuck me, even if it’s not in a movie?” The same guy asked.

“No!” I sternly said.

“Why not?” He asked as if his question wasn’t unreasonable.

“One, because you’re a kid! I’m old enough to be your mother and I’m married!” I stated.

“You’re married?” The young guy asked.

“If you were with me, I’d never let you do what you do.” He replied.

“Well, it’s a good thing we’re not together then, isn’t it?” I said. “Besides, you just asked a random stranger in a store to have sex with you. Is that something you do often? Or is it just me?”

“Can I have a hug then?” He asked.

“No. I don’t give out hugs here, this is a retail store.” I stated. “I’m not your mother.”

“What does your husband think, isn’t he jealous?” One of the girls asked.

“Who do you think films my porn?” I quickly added.

Shocked, they look at each other with wide eyes and I continue. “He’s in it, he produces it, he edits it, and he is the one who creates my website.

Most people I know in the Industry are either married, or in serious relationships. Some even have kids.

My husband is the one who sets up my shoots, hires the male or female performers and sells my videos all over the internet. My videos are on clip sites online, on my website, on DVD and we’re on Canadian Pay Per View Channels. We are also one of the few Canadians Producers in the Industry supplying Canadian Content for Adult Programming for Cable.”

“Wow! That’s so cool!” The other guy says.

“He’s not jealous though?” One of the girls ask again. “I couldn’t be in a relationship like that.”

“No. He thinks it’s hot.” I replied. “Do you know what a fetish is? Think of it this way, it turns him on to see me with other people. We’re not swingers, we’re porn fans and that’s why we got into the Industry in the first place. But it’s still a business.” I added.

“Were you abused as a kid?” One of the girls blurted out.

That’s a question that interviewers love to ask. But it always bothers me. After I was on the TV Show called, “Webdreams”, I was interviewed by a mainstream journalist and Toronto news media that asked me same question.

It bothers me partly because I think it’s an extremely personal question to ask a stranger. And I wouldn’t ask a best friend that, unless she volunteered talking about the subject.

It also bothers me because it’s a stereo type they have for Adult Performers. They want to put everyone in the Industry in the same box as if we all have the same story.

The reason why they stereo type Porn Stars is for several reasons. One, because they can’t understand why a woman would want to work in a job where she is having sex out of her own free will. Two because they think we’re only in it because we are re-living some type of abuse that we had as children. And also, because their human.

People tends to put things that they don’t understand into a stereo type, it’s human nature. It helps them feel safter in their world.

Many people don’t understand that Porn Stars are extremely sexual human beings. We’re good at it what we do. Or that we are just having fun and making money at the same time. Besides many of us are natural “Exhibitionist”. Which is a fetish or porn term for people who enjoy being watched. The audience watching is considered “Voyeurs” and the Performers are considered, “Exhibitionists”. Many times, they’re also both.

Personally, I prefer sex on film then off. To me being in film makes sex more exciting. I like the idea that later someone will watch the movie, think I’m hot and get off. It’s a complement.

The reason why I don’t like that questions is because, what if you ask someone the sensitive question about their childhood and they are still deeply affected by it? Maybe you’ll be bringing up some bad memories that they are forced to re-live again because of it.

So, I ended up replying to the kids in the store the same way I did to the mainstream news journalist that asked me. “I’ve had my issues in my childhood, but so has everyone else. I’ve also had therapy in my life and worked on dealing with it before I got into Porn.”

“Besides”, I continued, “I know more people outside of the Adult Industry that have been abuse then those in the industry.

It’s just like when people ask me if all Porn Stars are on drugs? All Industries have people that are on drugs.

What do I mean? It means that there are many people who have had shit happened to them in life and they work in all different types of jobs. You may not know that your banker, your teacher or even your friend has been abused as a child, or does drugs, because they’re not necessarily going to share that information with you.” I concluded.

“True.” One of the girls replies.

However, the real reason why that question bothers me so much is because I am that person that gets affected by them. And after I was asked by the Toronto mainstream news journalist that day and from the college kids, I was left with the next two years dwelling on memories from my childhood that I thought that I had moved on from. Which eventually caused me to seek therapy again, just to try to move on with my life, again.

“Wow, guys! I didn’t know I was going to be interviewed today.” I replied trying to hide the fact I was overwhelmed.

The kids all took a breath, looked at each and realized that they had just bombarded me with back to back questions. They silently agreed to leave me alone and they were finally satisfied.

“Well, if there’s nothing else I can do for you, I have to get back to work now.” I concluded.

“Ok.” One of them said and they all left the store.

After the kids had left, I sat in front of the laptop thinking about my entire life, the choices that I had made and the childhood that haunted me. And I questioned everything.

When “Fantasy Job” is gone, and Reality’s Curtin has fallen how will the world react to you?

Will they label you a “Whore” or will they be inspired by you?

In a world of judgement, assumptions, and sexual shame upon women, especially women in the Adult Industry, who will you be after it’s all over? And what kind of life can we have for ourselves?

Can we better ourselves and our lives after we leave the Porn Industry? Or do we have to be old Tarts forever?

If we one day, we go back to living and working in the Real World, will we live in fear of one day being exposed?

Can women in this day and age really be anything they want to be? Or does that slogan only refer to women who have not worked in the Adult Industry?

Is the stigma just too great to be respected as a businessperson? Or are we left with our own shame, shunned by societies, cultures or religions?

Because the truth is, that once you’re on the Internet, you’re on there for life. There is no erasing it. You will be exposed eventually, and you will have to deal with it.

However, we all go on a journey to find ourselves and where we belong in this world. How we take that journey is different to us all. Our story can alter with which way you decide to go, when you get to “The Fork in the Road”, the people you meet a long the way, your challenges and your distractions.

The journey that I went on became a quest in order to go to the most extreme lengths to lose myself. And in a land far, far away from reality, all I wanted to be was anyone else but the real me. The only problem was, I never really knew who that was. So, I created a persona to show the world someone else instead. I called her “Maxine X”. She was everything I thought I wanted to be, because she was nothing like who I was growing up.

In the end of my journey, after I had followed the yellow brick road in the Land of Oz, I was left there standing in my fancy red heels wondering, had that journey even helped me to grow? Or was it just a distraction to the pain I tried to hide and run away from? Am I really a Stereo Type Porn Star or is my story different? Perhaps even inspiring? I guess we will find out.

I tapped my heels three times and wondered, if I’d ever find my way home?

The End.

Outro:

Thanks for hanging out with me, your Canadian Kinky Wife, if you have any suggestions, for podcast topics, please comment below or email me at: [email protected]

You can follow me on Social Media:

My Podcast Twitter is: @DiaryOfMaxineX

My Instagram is: @OfficialMaxineX

And my 18+ Twitter is @TheRealMaxineX

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