diastemadisaster

[diastemadisaster]

Just in light of the recent post regarding making a LOTF deck of cards. ☀️

LOTF Characters Playing Cards Against Humanity:

Jack: Basically being a general dick and absolutely loving it. Lots of sexual remarks clearly directed at Ralph. Competitive asf. Obnoxious sniggering.

Roger: Concerningly, ends up with most of the cards associated with terrorism and mass shootings. Low-key finds Maurice funny but won’t show it. Maintains a stony expression throughout the game. Nobody knows whether he’s kidding or not.

Ralph: Uses the entire game to throw shade. Cares less about winning than making sure Jack doesn’t. Tries not to laugh at Piggy’s reactions. Evil genius with the blank cards.

Piggy: Got roped into playing by Ralph. High-key huffy about the whole thing. Really does not have a dark sense of humour. Disappointed in everyone. Highly unnerved by Roger’s behaviour.

Maurice: Not all that competitive. Dickish sense of humour. More concerned with trying to offend Piggy than winning. Shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with Jack, their banter is lethal.

Samneric: SO many pop culture references. Probably get all the shitty cards. Playing as a team. Inside jokes that only each other understand. Have a running gag with Maurice over who can quote the most cringeworthy vines.

Simon: Surprised everyone by wanting to play. “You guys are all terrible.” Feels kind of bad for laughing. Pretends not to understand Maurice’s innuendos. Roger’s the only one who catches him trying not to smile.

Main account is @emotionally-ralphunctioning where I wish I’d posted this initially, tbh. 😭

[diastemadisaster]

Merridew’s New Clothes (an Emperor’s New Clothes P!ATD Parody)

Welcome to the murder island,

heads get crushed and blood gets spilled.

Don’t oppose my leadership, now

or you just might end up killed.

~

If you’re a hunter,

a fighter,

Welcome to the tribe.

Cross me, get decapitated,

You’ll end up on a spear tonight.

~

And if you don’t know, now you know...

~

I’m taking back the power

I’m all dressed up in war paint

And there’s no moral restraint (yeah!)

(Liar liar, Island-fire)

O-ohh yeahhh

The power!

My name will be remembered

And I will not surrender!

(Liar liar, Island fire)

O-ohh yeahhh.

~

Sick of prissy little blond boys,

And mark my words, this is a threat:

Ralph, you’ll never know what hit you,

If you want fire, that’s what you’ll get.

If you’re a hunter,

a fighter,

Welcome to the tribe.

And Ralph, my dear, we’ll hunt you down, now

And pry you out from where you hide.

~

And if you don’t know, now you know...

I’m taking back the power

I’m all dressed up in war paint

And there’s no moral restraint (yeah!)

(Liar liar, Island-fire)

O-ohh yeahhh

The power!

My name will be remembered

And I will not surrender!

(Liar liar, Island fire)

O-ohh yeahhh.

~

Welcome to my murder island,

power is mine, and I won’t cede.

Problems here are solved with violence.

Kill the beast and watch it bleed.

~

Oh yeah

(Liar liar, Island fire)

I’m taking back, back

Taking back, back the power

I’m all dressed up in war paint

And there’s no moral restraint (yeah!)

(Liar liar, Island-fire)

O-ohh yeahhh

The power!

My name will be remembered

And I will not surrender!

(Liar liar, Island fire)

O-ohh yeahhh.

(Liar, Liar Island fire

Liar liar, Island fire.)

[diastemadisaster]

Lord Of The Flies characters as pizza toppings

Ralph: Chicken

Jack: Pepperoni

Samneric: Peppers

Maurice: Mushrooms

Simon: Pineapple

Roger: Black olives

Piggy: Anchovies

[diastemadisaster]

“Mistletoe and wine? Just sounds like another drunk hookup to me.”

🎊🎄🎉

It is the festive season, for Byron declares it so. Best celebrated by drinking too much, over-decorating your house and the most excessive Christmas attire one can get one’s hands on.

[diastemadisaster]

Shelley, the large-eyed poet

had some very doe-like eyes.

And if you ever saw them,

you would comment on their size.

All of the boys at Eton

used to call him such a dork.

They always mocked poor Shelley,

until he stabbed them with a fork~.

🎊🎄🎉

@incorrect-romanticism @theetonatheist

[diastemadisaster]

[diastemadisaster]

Victor: [Holding a hand up for a high five]

Henry: I’ll pass, thanks.

Victor: Come on, I’m like a participle.

Henry:

Victor: You shouldn’t leave me hanging.

[diastemadisaster]

Victor: So, Henry’s ignoring me.

Elizabeth: I wonder why.

Victor: Any ideas on how to get a reaction out of him?

Elizabeth: Or you could just stop making p-

Victor: Because I have a whole cata-list of them!

Elizabeth:...This. This is why.

[diastemadisaster]

Victor: I’m sorry for making so many puns.

Henry: It’s about ti-

Victor: I get it. We’re not alkene on science.

[diastemadisaster]

Victor: Henry? Have you seen my notes on noble gases?

Henry:I don’t think so, why?

Victor: I left them down here, but-

Henry: But..?

Victor: But now it appears they Argon.

[diastemadisaster]

Henry: Victor, can you not just think positive, for once?

Victor: Hey, sharing negativity with your loved ones is great for building a close bond.

Henry: Okay, what sort of bond could you possibly build from sharing negativity?

Victor: A covalent one.

Henry: We need to break up.

[diastemadisaster]

Victor: All my projects are adoptable.

*Sees Creature*

Except that one!

Clerval: WHAT IS THAT THING?!

Victor: A man, I think?! But it was dead this morning!

Clerval: IT WAS DEAD THIS MORNING?!

[diastemadisaster]

Shelley: We hate Wordsworth now. Get on board or the sexting stops.

Byron: Wordsworth’s a son of a bitch!

[diastemadisaster]

Victor Frankenstein, confronted with gay feelings.

[diastemadisaster]

Piggy:Why does everyone get meat except me? I’m hungry as well!

Jack: Because that is called cannibalism, my dear Piggy, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Piggy: Bitch, wtf sort of society is this?

[diastemadisaster]

“I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.”

- Jack Merridew at some point.

[diastemadisaster]

LOTF Characters Playing Cards Against Humanity:

Jack: Basically being a general dick and absolutely loving it. Lots of sexual remarks clearly directed at Ralph. Competitive asf. Obnoxious sniggering.

Roger: Concerningly, ends up with most of the cards associated with terrorism and mass shootings. Low-key finds Maurice funny but won’t show it. Maintains a stony expression throughout the game. Nobody knows whether he’s kidding or not.

Ralph: Uses the entire game to throw shade. Cares less about winning than making sure Jack doesn’t. Tries not to laugh at Piggy’s reactions. Evil genius with the blank cards.

Piggy: Got roped into playing by Ralph. High-key huffy about the whole thing. Really does not have a dark sense of humour. Disappointed in everyone. Highly unnerved by Roger’s behaviour.

Maurice: Not all that competitive. Dickish sense of humour. More concerned with trying to offend Piggy than winning. Shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with Jack, their banter is lethal.

Samneric: SO many pop culture references. Probably get all the shitty cards. Playing as a team. Inside jokes that only each other understand. Have a running gag with Maurice over who can quote the most cringeworthy vines.

Simon: Surprised everyone by wanting to play. “You guys are all terrible.” Feels kind of bad for laughing. Pretends not to understand Maurice’s innuendos. Roger’s the only one who catches him trying not to smile.

Main account is @emotionally-ralphunctioning where I wish I’d posted this initially, tbh. 😭