digitxldixry

[digitxldixry]

i dream of having a regulated nervous system

[digitxldixry]

sad to announce that I am having thoughts and emotions again and it is not a pleasant experience

[digitxldixry]

Here’s your 1,000mg prescription of reassurance

[digitxldixry]

TW: mentions of mobility aids, declining health, talks of weight loss

i was diagnosed with FND when i was 15 years old.

i spent the majority of my teen years trying to overcome the mental challenges and the sudden change of the course of my life. i spent my highschool and college years working with multiple drs and therapists and specialists to overcome the daily challenges and give myself as much as i possibly could.

well flash forward to now, 5 years after my diagnosis.

i feel as if all the hard work i put in throughout my teen years was all worth nothing. my health has been rapidly declining, a year ago i was able to be completely independent. working full time, living on my own, i didn’t need any extra support in any sense.

now, i am unable to stand or walk for more than a couple minutes at a time, and my doctor has recently given me a cane. i am finding it increasingly harder to stand to do daily tasks, such as laundry, cooking, or cleaning without either needing the cane, or having to go lie down.

i spend the majority of my days at work in tears due to the pain.

i am having seizures multiple times a month, atleast once a week.

over the last year i have lost over half of my body weight, i am down to the weight of an average 9 year old boy. i am a 20 year old woman.

i’m finding it difficult to accept my new reality, and to come to terms with how quickly things are changing. i’m worried about how much longer i am able to keep living on my own, i am worried about how often i need my support people here with me to make sure im able to even get up. im worried about how much longer im going to be able to keep working, and im worried about the future.

to anyone who was read this far, and has any sort of advice or tips or insight, it would be greatly appreciated.

i am loosing my quality of life, aswell as my independence, and i don’t want this disease to take anymore of my happiness.

[digitxldixry]

[digitxldixry]

[digitxldixry]

[digitxldixry]

2 pm i make frozen french fries

3 pm i hang myself

[digitxldixry]

'meshes in the afternoon' by e.v. day

[digitxldixry]

[digitxldixry]

[digitxldixry]

[digitxldixry]

sigalit landau - gabriele horn + ruth ronen (2008)

[digitxldixry]

letterpress postcards by Pottering Cat, Japan

[digitxldixry]

[digitxldixry]

when the jazz has elements of rock n roll

[digitxldixry]

Choose your weapon