disasterhag

[disasterhag]

SHIT NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT GETTING INTO PLANTS

You’re gonna finger a lot of dirt

Starts affordable and can remain affordable if you have self control

Whoever says succulents are easy is a filthy liar

You can get free seeds from the library

Leaving water out 24 hours removed the chlorine

Wanted! Dead or alive: worms

Some plants like: egg shells and coffee grounds

Liquid fertilizer is the way to go

Clumping plants together will up their humanity

Pot material matters

But many like plastic and plastic food containers make great pots

Similarly their lids make good trays

Dollar store is another great place to get cheap garden stuff

Thrift stores are also your friend

Check Facebook marketplace and plant swap groups to get lots of free plants and supplies

QUARANTINE NEW PLANTS THIS IS HOW I GOT GNATS

Don’t just stick to the growing guidelines. Some plants will thrive in conditions that might go against what those guidelines say. Generally if your plant is healthy and happy, keep doing what you’re doing.

Use a schedule to remind yourself to check if they need water. The schedule does not dictate how often to water, the plant does. And to talk to the plant you gotta finger that dirt.

You are going to find some ‘easy’ plants you just can’t keep alive and some ‘advanced’ ones just flourish in your home. You’ll find your rhythm.

Removing dead leaves doesn’t hurt it. Don’t cry

[disasterhag]

Well I’m gonna reblog it too, suck it

[disasterhag]

[disasterhag]

me: i wanna talk about my ocs

someone: ok tell me about your ocs

me, suddenly convinced that every single thing about my ocs is stupid and cringy and probably offensive: i. have them

[disasterhag]

I’ve found there are non gross ways to use ai that won’t feed it intellectual property.

1. weird, 2am theoretical questions like what would happen if we tied a rope to the moon and attached it here. Zipline? (Mr Nofunpants says that’s not going to happen because space debris and the gravity and blah blah.)(Mr Nofunpants is what I call my ai guy)

2. what to read: plug in your tropes and favorite authors, maybe vibes, and get some recommendations. Same with movies and shit. This is probably my number one use

3.explain with crayons mode. Don’t understand complex shit, have it break it down for you.

4.lazy ass googling. ‘What are four cities in Luxembourg? What’s the shelf life of little Debbie cakes?’

5.how do I spell or pronounce…

[disasterhag]

Costco fucks with you. Something happens to your brain where you think a 6 lb bag of peanuts, enough tampons to last through to menopause, and a couch are reasonable last minute purchases

[disasterhag]

It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:

It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.

[disasterhag]

[disasterhag]

Everyone keeps talking about "the writer's barely disguised fetish". But I still haven't heard about "the writer's barely disguised huge ass pet peeve"

[disasterhag]

You should absolutely get a tattoo

Art! On your body!

Your opinion on how you look will improve if only for that part of your body. But it’s a start!

Generally an easy conversation topic. If you struggle with small talk, there you go.

Instead of doomscrolling, you’ll be looking at art for inspiration and researching tattoo artists

Something to look forward to

Needle therapy because it releases happy chemicals

If you are neurospicy, welcome home

The artists are art kids to their core. One of the artists gushed about the specific inks (he has favorites), one brought up her old deviant art and I can guarantee you a few of them probably had or still have blogs on here. My point is, they aren’t intimidating as you think

If you don’t know how to People the classic way, neither do they. The VERY first thing one of my artists said to me was ‘your skin looks easy’ approvingly. My point is, whatever proper social etiquette you’ve learned, defenestrate it.

[disasterhag]

I love the action lab guy because it’s like Mythbusters but instead of the insurance companies and lawyers and safety team keeping shit in check, it’s this guy’s wife occasionally reminding him not to do stupid shit. And it pretty much all takes place in and around his house.

This guy answers 2am tumblr type questions and has all the self control of 2am tumblr.

Question: can we see x rays with the naked eye?

Mythbusters method: wouldn’t even do it because that seems unsafe

This guy: so I grabbed my homemade xray machine

Question: What happens if you jump out of a moving vehicle?

Mythbusters method: we are going to use buster to simulate a jump as Adam and Jamie drive

This guy: my wife is driving and I’m jumping

Question: Can you burn snow?

Mythbusters method: with fire chief on standby, we attempt to light the snowball on fire in this field with nothing around it

This guy: oops caught my desk on fire

Question: Do Spiders Get Dizzy?

Mythbusters method: consult a biologist, build a spider analog

This guy: find a spider and spin him around really fast and then make him walk in a straight line.

Question: Can we use an umbrella as a parachute?

Mythbusters method: using safety harnesses and shit, see how big of an umbrella we need to build for it to be effective

This guy: jumps off high places until his wife says no. Safety harness who?

[disasterhag]

i was so sad, i drew a little bat so i wouldn’t be sad. and now i am no longer sad.

[disasterhag]

Anybody else picking at their wounds rn. Not metaphorically I have a cut on my finger

[disasterhag]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[disasterhag]

Now shaking in my boots thinking what insane lore is about to be dropped

[disasterhag]

Either the UK only has 8 actors, 12 comedians, and 5 hosts

Or

There’s secret ones you lot are hiding from the rest of the world.

[disasterhag]

im tumblr goes down im just going to stop using social media. everyone gets to join my new mailing list