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Hi I am Roberta Bobby SSN 123-45-6789–you can find all of my data. I am 54 years young. I am American by birth, Canadian by kidnapped.I am a Scorpio. I want to become divorced. I’m grateful to be a live—aren’t you? You should be. If I were you, not sure I would be.Just my opinion

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hiiii

just tagging things i like

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The McMansion Hell Yearbook: 1981

Hello everyone! We return to the great state of Illinois (where I live) to bring you this wonderful time capsule from DuPage County (where I don't live but have ridden my bike.) There is actually much more house to get through than in the usual McMansion Hell post so Iet's not waste time with informalities.

Behold.

This incredible 70s hangover is served (with a fine line on a silver tray) at a neat $5 million. It has seven bedrooms for maximum party discretion and 4.5 bathrooms also for maximum party discretion but of a different sort. Shall we?

Lawyer Foyer

Definitely thought that the staircase emptied out into a pool of brown water. (I'm sober, though.)

Auditorium-Sized Living Room

Pretty sure this is the most epic hearth in McMansion Hell history, if not world history. a bit of overkill, imo. Anyway, let's see what's behind it.

In the late 1970s, society once inquired, collectively: What if "Dudes Rock" was a bar?

Kitchen

This is the most normal room in the house. (This is a threat.)

Main Bedroom

How can something clearly from the 80s have such powerful 2006 energy?

Main Bathroom

This was likely a reno job but master bathrooms did start being roughly the size of my living/dining room a few years later.

WARNING: SICKO ZONE AHEAD

Okay. Okay. We've completed our tour of the main, relatively normal McMansion part of this house. We are now entering the Sicko Zone, wherein everything gets progressively a little more, well, sick.

(Note: There are more images from the sicko zone but Tumblr only lets me put 10 images in per post so please head over to the McMansion Hell Patreon to see more.)

The Den

Remember late-era Frank Lloyd Wright? These architects dared to ask: What if he sucked?

the horrible room

yeah sorry i need some air.

Rear Exterior

Well, that was eventful. I hope you all enjoyed our little foray into hell. Stay tuned for more Yearbook! It's only going to get pinker and tealer from here.

If you like this post, consider supporting me on Patreon for as little as $1 a month!

Not into monthly subscriptions? Try the tip jar!

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McMansion Hell: revenge of cook county

Fans of this website will perhaps remember a certain house from the "worst of suburban Illinois" post. I'm here to alert you to the fact that the interior of said house may in fact be the pinnacle of what has been dubbed by my colleague Cocaine Decor as "Cocaine Decor." This 1990 house has lived rent free in my brain for a while, and now it will live rent free in all of yours. It sits at $1.1 million USD and precisely 10,000 square feet, each of which exists in ignorance of the Light of God.

Remember her? I wish I didn't. Anyway.

The Lawyer Foyer

I would actually venture that this is the most reasonable and bland room in this house, but it sets the tone for what is to come: baffling art, even more baffling curtains, and the most baffling carpet choices to ever be offered in a catalog. Also from this angle it's really funny.

The Sitting Room

Ok does anyone else here from the aught's internet remember vintage Art.com and its kind of weird kitschy art prints? I used to spend hours on that website amassing pictures of lemons and limes because children are weird.

Living Room

I quilt and I KNOW how much fabric costs. Also I really want to do some kind of research project on late 90s-early 2000s "modernism" which is basically like "what if we took modernism and made it really chunky." If you were working as an industrial designer during that time and can help me figure out what in the world was happening, please hit me up in the Twitter DMs @mcmansionhell.

Kitchen

hmm getting some Eyes Wide Shut vibes from all this... kinda sus...

Main Bedroom

Viral Tweet Voice: Tiger King was 10,000 years ago. Remember sourdough starters??? Hobbies taken up with manic urgency??? Washing groceries??? How young we were. How foolish.

????

Give me some powder and 15 minutes in here and I'll come up with McMansion Hell 2 (or lose thousands of dollars on NFTs - it's a toss up.)

bedroom

You know those metallic sharpies they sell two-packs of at Target? They took those to a fabric shop and said: here's our palette, go nuts.

pool

shout out to my mom, I love her.

Okay, that's about enough of that. Here's the back of the house complete with a tripartite architectural analysis (it's very complicated):

I hope you enjoyed this installment of McMansion Hell, stay tuned for more cursed houses from the Mecca of cursed houses, because I, uh, found a lot of them yesterday.

If you liked this post, consider signing up for my Patreon where you can get merch, livestreams, bonus houses, discord server access and more.

Not into subscriptions? Tip me a cup of coffee for my trouble at Ko-Fi.

P.S. go bulls

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my fashion range

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my fashion range

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Anjelica Huston for Valentino, 1972 - Ph. Gian Paolo Barbieri

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Babs Johnson had a plan, and no one, but no one was going to take her crown…

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A trip back in time.....

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Keith Haring (American, 1958-1990), Untitled #17, May 14 1988. Sumi ink on paper, 30 x 40 in.

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Querelle | Rainer Werner Fassbinder | 1982

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Donna Summer (1970′s)

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one of those government approved walk

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if only mom and dad had got me those cha-cha heels everything would have been ok …

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I found this really creepy beetroot jar in the charity shop I work in and it freaks me the hell out!

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