dissociation-station123

[dissociation-station123]

Crime Boss Toji X Reader

Unrelated to JJK verse-Modern AU

Got a snip of an idea. Curious if this is overdone or would you all be interested in more?

Warning: Very Mature Content

~

Toji Fushiguro never told anyone anything, not even his closest men in the organization. That is what made him so dangerous. You never knew his next move, even if you managed to get a hold of one of his subordinates. That was how he rose so quickly and was able to surprise even the most prestigious crime families in the city.

Suguru wanted power more than anything. It was an easy choice leaving the Gojo clan to join up with him. He was sick of being under someone who bottomed for him every other night. Who looked up at him with a euphoric expression and teary eyes as if he loved him and then in public put him down. “I’m the fucking strongest!” That was the last sentence Suguru heard from Satoru before walking away.

That is about the time he heard about Fushiguro. A newcomer in the city taking over territories without any regard to who they originally belonged to. He decided that is where he wanted to be. It was not as hard as he thought to get a meeting with him. Suguru chalked it up to his own solid reputation.

“I don’t care what you do as long as it benefits us at the end of the day.” Toji sits back in his office chair, cigar in hand. He was a large man with a scar that ran across his lip. He seemed to always wear a care free look and a cocky smirk. “I know all of us have our own agenda. Take what you want and don’t step on my toes and you are welcome here.”

Suguru liked the man’s brazen confidence. So he agreed and now he walked around town without a worry. It was as if Toji removed a collar that had been around his neck all his life. Letting him be the wild beast he always knew he was. He sometimes has regrets, mostly when he smokes or drinks; But they were easily overridden when he could do as he pleased.

Today he knocks on Toji’s door to update him on current affairs. There were always targets on their back since they were the wild card and had no prior history. This particular threat not only dug up his own past but could cause real issues in the future.

“Come in.” Toji’s deep voice, a bit raspier than usual. Suguru pushes open the door as Toji sip’s a glass of whiskey, his face flushed.

“Starting a bit early boss.” Suguru teases as he approaches, Toji chuckles in response. “Mind your business. What is it?” The boss counters and Suguru throws up his hands defensively.

“It’s my ex boss. Found out where I went and now he is out for blood.” Suguru takes a seat opposite Toji. “He isn’t to be underestimated. His family has been around a long time.”

Toji stares at him as if analyzing his thoughts, “You mean your ex. At first I couldn’t believe you both were lovers when I found out. Figured if anything yall fucked to release some tension. But naw it was more than that wasn’t it?”

Suguru’s eyes widened at the depth of knowledge this boorish man possessed. He is wiser than most give him credit. “I’ve known him my whole life. It is hard to put into words. But that’s not why I’m here. Wanted to give you a heads up. That’s all.”

“I already knew.” Toji mutters while putting down his glass. Suguru’s eyebrow raises in confusion and shock. “I have a plan. You miss him?” He asks and Suguru bursts out laughing.

“Sure, he was a good fuck. Hard to find that nowadays but I make due.” Suguru tenses up a bit. Memories begin to play in the back of his mind but he shakes them away. “Why?”

Toji shrugs, leaning back further. “He is starting a war for you. Just want to know if I can trust ya.” Those emerald eyes lower, his large muscular arms cross. This was an intimidation tactic, one used often very successfully.

“That’s my past. I like it here.” Suguru states never looking away. Toji continues to study his expression. Until finally smiling and picking back up his glass and taking a sip. He nods and the cocky demeanor returns.

“I’ll be calling on you soon enough. Be ready.” The way he says this makes the hair on Suguru’s arm stand on end. He lets out a breath and stands. “Keep your phone close.”

Suguru heads for the door, a foreboding feeling overcoming him. “Yes sir.” He walks out in desperate need to dull his mind.

~

“Fuck…” Toji groans as you swallow around him, drinking down his spilled essence. His fingers digging into your hair pulling aggressively. “That’s it doll.” He hands you the glass of bourbon he was just drinking and you wash away the taste of him with a sip.

“You think we can trust him?” He asks, wiping the drool from your bottom lip. You look up at him void of emotions. He moves back allowing you to stand and you begin to pace.

“No but we can use him.” You say coldly and add more liquor. Toji cackles at your response. “What?” You ask monotonously, confused by his gleeful actions as you take another deep drink, the burn feels nice.

“You are so cold and calculating. I’m glad I found you rotting away at one of my clubs.” He pats a spot on top of his desk and you walk over taking a seat. He grabs your chin harshly. “My pretty little shadow. Those dead eyes called out to me the moment I spotted them. Observant and full of information.”

“Glad I could be of service. You pay a lot more than my last job. Though I don’t like all the attention you give me.” You watch as his hands travel to your thighs and he squeezes. You don’t flinch when he yanks you forward, nipping your ear.

“Only time I see any expression other than boredom on your face is when my cock is deep in your belly. It drives me crazy…” he practically growls directly into your ear. He sucks on the tender part of your neck, a soft gasp escapes. “The sounds you make for me… shit sweetheart it’s fucking addicting.”

He stands towering above you, his figure imposing. He holds the back of your neck, his lips capture yours. It was possessive and engulfing. You allow him to pry his tongue deeper, returning his kiss. Your mind floats away for a while with pleasure as his fingers trace along the curve of your hip.

“Follow him.” He whispers against your mouth and you nod. “I’ll get you that classic car you wanted.” A thrill rides up your spine at the proposition, though you never let it show on your face.

You truly had no wants in this disgusting corrupt world. But one night while in bed with him he managed to get you to confess about a dream car you always wanted to possess since you were a child. Toji was an enigma to you, a man who was both soft and rough.

You nod trying your best to reign in what little excitement buzzed around your mind. “Is that smile I see?” Toji teases and you quickly frown. “So beautiful.” He mutters as he maintains a strong grasp on your waist.

You try to hop down so you could fulfill his request but he blocks you with his body. “I’m not done with you yet sweetheart.” He wraps his hand around your throat not adding any pressure, the weight stills you. “Bend over for me.”

[dissociation-station123]

[dissociation-station123]

Sukuna Co-Worker & Reader (Both Mechanics)

Modern AU

~

"Nice job!" You compliment Sukuna's work on the Audi sitting in front of you. Sukuna grins, wiping his hands of the oil.

"Thanks boss!" Sukuna says, then makes a funny expression, "it still feels weird to say that." You laugh and shrug.

"It's still weird to hear." You say then look up at the clock to see that it was time to head home. You frown deeply remembering that you were still not on talking terms with your roommates.

Toji, the owner had noticed you spending more time at work. Due to his obligations overseas he promoted you to manager. Though it was an adjustment you took even more pride in what you did. The shop was running better than ever.

"Hey Y/N..." sukuna interrupted your thoughts and you almost jumped out of your skin remembering he was still in the room. Concern was written on his features. "I know you're not ok. So let's stop bullshitting. What is going on?" His tone was harsh but you knew he cared.

"I-" you try to organize the chaos that was your thoughts but when you spoke tears started falling instead. Sukuna gasps and runs to your side. He takes you tightly into his arms and rubs your back.

"Shit... it's ok. You can tell me another time. Please don't cry." He sounds sorry for bringing up the topic. You hear him softly humming to calm you down. You feel him tense a bit when you sniffle into his shoulder. "You better not get any snot on my shirt." He teases and you can't help but laugh a little.

"That's it. That's my favorite sound." Sukuna mutters and you pull away suddenly. He looks startled by his own statement. "Hey no I mean it's not like that you asshole!" He defends himself and you smirk when he is a bit awkward. "Hey, why don't you take a drive with me? It tends to relax me and it's a nice cool afternoon." He asks suddenly. You go to refuse but pause.

What were you really going home to? Leftovers in the fridge and your own misery? You could watch a DND podcast but that just reminds you of Choso and how bad you fucked up that situation....

"Sure!" You say after a pause.

"I don't want to fucking force you." Sukuna laughs, noticing your hesitation and you are a bit taken back by the bitterness in his words.

"No, I'm sorry! It's just I don't want to dampen your vibe. I have been in a bit of a funk lately." You admit. Sukuna studies your face but then smiles and ruffles your hair.

"Alright! Let’s fucking get out of here then!" Sukuna cheers and you can't help but catch his nonchalant energy.

You always enjoyed Sukuna's taste in cars. It was similar to your own. He too liked classics but he enjoyed what you called boat cars, indestructible giants. He was currently driving a 70 impala, the top already pulled back since today was such a clear sunny day.

Sukuna runs to the passenger side and opens the door, "Your chariot my lady!" You glare at him and he pushes your shoulder, "Damn it Y/N let me be gentlemen like, just for today." You groan and take a seat. He laughs at your annoyance.

That's how your friendship worked with Sukuna. It was a game to see who could irritate the other the most. You were usually the victor but you allowed him this win not feeling much like fighting. Though you all picked on each other you always watched out for each other as well. He was one of the most reliable people you knew.

Sukuna turned on a random station and you all started your drive. A comfortable silence invaded the space as the cool wind brushed against your face. He wasn't wrong being on the road and watching buildings pass by was weirdly soothing. You felt your worry start to melt away even for a minimal amount of time.

"I want to take you to my favorite spot in the city." Sukuna suddenly says and you lazily look over nodding. He smiled and his eyes were strangely soft as he looked at you.

"Just don't murder me." You mumble and that softness fades as he rolls his eyes.

You enjoy the ride as he turns off into a more forest like area. The park was a rare spot of green amongst the usual steel and smog. The air freshens up and you take in a deep breath.

In the middle of a week past 8 there was hardly anyone in the area. Sukuna pulls up into a grassy area overlooking a small river. "You said when you're near water you feel like you're recharging, remember?" Sukuna says and your eyes widen in surprise that he would remember such a random thing said between you. You nod in agreement.

"Well one day I was fucking pissed off. I knew I would get myself into trouble. But like a weird revaluation I thought of when you had told me that. I decided to find a place near water and try. I was fuming the whole way here. I wanted to turn around so many times and find a fight. But your voice just kept nagging at me. So I made it here and fuck..." Sukuna turns towards your bewildered face. "My anger literally melted away the longer I sat here. It was magical as hell!"

A warm sensation traveled throughout your body. A strange feeling of endearment for your friend. "Fucking magical as hell!" You agreed then burst out laughing, he quickly joined you. The sound of your laughter echoing throughout the trees.

Both of you started to catch up. You didn't spend much time outside of work together so it was nice getting to know him even more. Sukuna told you how he learned how to work on cars when he used to steal them. You talked about your loser of an ex. The conversation was turning out to be a wonderful distraction.

After a couple hours Sukuna suddenly gets a serious expression on his face. "I never did officially thank you." You quizzically look at him and he grins. "When I was hired that dick we had as a manager before told me." He straightens his posture and changes his tone to mock our old boss, "Sukuna you are on thin ice due to your background. Y/N is the only reason I hired you. For some reason she sees something special. But the second you mess up I'm firing you."

You had no idea that was the only reason he was hired on. "Wow! You shouldn't be thanking me though Sukuna." You say wholeheartedly, "You should thank your skills. I know I pick on you for being rough with the precious babies." Sukuna laughs at your love for an immaterial object. "You have great talent. You even caught something I've missed. That is a great accomplishment!"

"Wait, how do you compliment me while also complimenting yourself?" Sukuna teases tickling your side. You erupt in a fit of laughter and he leans further to get a better vantage point.

"Sukuna!!! Stop!" You say through his assault of tickles. "Please!" You beg as tears escape from laughing so hard. Sukuna stops with a beautiful smile plastered on his face. It was mesmerizing. You reach up and cup his cheek and he freezes startled.

You quickly realize the strange atmosphere and sudden tension you have created. "Sorry..." you whisper slowly, beginning to pull your hand away. Before you could he snatches your wrist and your heart pounds in your ear as his thumb strokes the sensitive skin.

"You're beautiful..." Sukuna blurts out, you wait for the joke but it never comes, "You do so much for everyone else. You don't even realize it half the time. I want to repay you but how do you repay someone who gave you your life back?"

You had no idea how to respond to such a genuine thought. The fact that he saw the light in you when you struggled to find it yourself. Sukuna waits for a response or for you to move away but you remain still and speechless.

"Y/N..." Sukuna calls out your name making it sound like the most precious word in existence, "I care about you. My feelings for you, I thought they were just this way because you were such a thoughtful friend. But when I saw you with Gojo and how you both interacted a weird ache started forming. It was more painful than any punch to the face." Sukuna begins confessing and the large spacious vehicle becomes much smaller.

"I had no idea how to fix it. Or how it even happened. I gave it a few days but every time we were together it just kept getting worse. When you get a cut by a sharp knife the pain is awful but you get a few stitches and you're good to go. But this hurt..." Sukuna shakes his head as if he was frustrated. "It was a stab wound that I couldn't even see. No stitches were possible. What is this?! What have you done to me.."

Sukuna whispers passionately, his expression softens but there is a deep sadness in his eyes. "I don't..." you tried to think of some way to apologize to him. "I didn't know….” Sukuna growls and brings his lips inches from yours, then pauses.

"Can I.." Sukuna asks and your cheeks flush. You begin to realize how much you cared for him as well. Your eyes close and you shorten the gap, kissing him passionately. Sukuna makes a sweet sound as he loses himself in the kiss. His fingers entangle in your hair as he tries to get as close to you as he could in the front seat of a car.

You take hold of the collar of his t-shirt causing him to lift up from you. You yank him with you as you tumble ungracefully into the backseat. Sukuna wasted no time continuing the kiss pinning you down into the leather seats. The sun had fallen a while ago and the only sounds now were the chirping of crickets, heavy breathing and soft moans as your bodies grinded desperately against each other. Hands traveling under clothing to caress bare skin.

"Damn it..." Sukuna says against your lips, "I thought this would help... but I feel like I'm being burned alive. The crazy part is I love it." You sigh as he takes your breath away, shoving his tongue deep into your throat. Panting you want more. This hot scolding pain becomes addictive. You tug at his shirt and he helps take it off. Quickly doing the same to your own.

You are in a public park! Get it together! Your mind is shouting at you. Those pesky thoughts easily fade as he tosses your bra to the side and presses your chest against his. You feel his finger unbutton your jeans and your back arches as they rub along your inner thigh.

"Y/N..." Sukuna groans, "you're so wet already... fuck me..." You moan into his ear as his teeth scrap across your neck. "I imagined what this would be like. This is so much better." Sukuna sucks, you knew from the pressure it would bruise. Sukuna's thumb circles your clothed cunt. You cry out and watch as his jaw tightens.

"Touch me more..." you whine wanting those fingers buried deep inside of you. You shimmie your jeans off, kicking them to the floorboard when they fall to your ankles. You shiver now bared to the elements, wind causing goosebumps to form on your arms.

Sukuna must have seen your small discomfort. He pushes against you again, the friction easily heating you back up. Sukuna palms the front of your pussy, the back of his hands pushing down on your pulsing clit. "Hah... more." You moan greedily causing a deep rumble in Sukuna's chest.

You caress the front of his jeans, gasping as you feel the length and girth, his cock twitching in need. Sukuna makes a deep seductive sound as you tease him. He kisses you again with even more aggression. Strings of drool falls from your lips as Sukuna lifts away staring down into your eyes. "I want to take care of you. Whatever you need it's yours. Literally just fucking ask me and I'll find a way to get it for you."

"Fill me up..." you say breathlessly and Sukuna's eyes glaze over from lust. The expression makes you lose your mind. You shout when he rips your panties free from your body. Eyes wide as he kicks off his remaining clothes.

You whine as you feel him slide the head of his cock across your folds, the lewd sound of your wetness takes over any other sound. Your head falls back against the door when you feel the cold metal of a piercing.  "Y/N look at me." Sukuna orders and you try your best. "Shit... Is this ok? I wanted to take you out first. I don't know like how normal people date... fucking hell I sound so stupid..." Sukuna starts to babble self consciously, this was new. The Sukuna you knew was full of confidence. Even though his dick was still running across your pussy as he asked for permission you fought the urge to force him inside of you.

"Sukuna..." you call out his name and he stops talking, his eyes lowered enjoying how it sounded. "If you want to wait we can. But I want this. I promise." You say biting back your moans.

"Fuck... say my name again..." Sukuna growls and you moan out his name as he shoves himself deep. Your nails dig into his shoulder a sharp pain of being filled up by his girth and the strange sensation of the metal ball rubbing against your walls. Your mind drifts off giving into the pleasure. "I want to be gentle with you..." He was struggling as he whispered in your ear slowly thrusting.

You look up at him already given into the lust, "Choke me..." you cry out rolling your head back, exposing your neck to him. His eyes widened in panic knowing he was going to lose control soon.

Sukuna takes in a labored breath as his hand traces your jaw and pulls out until your cunt clenched around his tip.

"I-" Sukuna bites his lip as you look up at him pouting, missing the feeling of being filled by him.

The size alone makes you feral but you were driven into a complete mess from the unique feel of his pierced cock.

"Please...." You plead, your legs wrapping him forcing him forward, you both groan when he is buried to the hilt.

Sukuna's large hands take hold of your neck but does not add pressure. You mewl softly as he grinds up into you further pushing even deeper. "You like this?" He whispers and you shake your head.

"Be... mmm..." the look in Sukuna's eyes on the verge of being lost in you but his brow furied as if fighting it. "As rough as you want." You manage to say. Sukuna's mouth falls open, his face flushed at your words.

Sukuna makes a deep guttural sound and tightens his hold around your neck. You choke out a thank you as he rails into you, finally giving into the carnal desire.

Your nails sink into the flesh of his arm like an animal trying to escape. You gasp for a breath and he waits seconds before your vision fades to complete blackness before easing up. You cum hard your walls gripping his cock as your body tingles and convulses from the loss of oxygen. A crazed expression has taken over his face.

"Shit... you are fucked up... you enjoy being tortured..." Sukuna mutters, all you could do was make pathetic groans. "Fuck... this is dangerous for both of us... how far can I go? Do you even know?" Sukuna studies your face as you take him pounding into you roughly, your body in a state of bliss as the pain and pleasure intermix.

You cry when he suddenly stops and looks up observing the park. "Sukuna!" You shout and he covers your mouth. You gasp when he pushes you down into the floorboard pulling out of your soaking cunt. You whine against his palm. You begin to fight him as he tries to pull his t shirt onto you.

Sukuna pinches your chin harshly, you groan enjoying the stinging. "Stop struggling and be quiet. Some people are getting close." You stop and let him cover you up. Sukuna quickly tugs on his jeans. You both huddle close on the floorboard of his backseat. "Don't look at me like that." Sukuna whispers into your ear as you pout and rub your thighs together, your mind still not your own.

Your eyes roll back as you feel his fingers travel to squeeze your upper thigh. "If you stay quiet I'll let you cum again." His hand travels between your thighs and you bite your tongue to keep back your moan. "Be a good girl for me, yeah?" Sukuna's breath tickles your neck.

Your back arches against him when you feel his finger enter you and his thumb circle your clit. Your breathing becomes audible as you buck against his hand. You bury your head into his shoulder to muffle your quiet cries. "That's it ride my finger so desperate to cum on my hand, it's fucking pathetic..." Sukuna hisses his eyes wild, consumed by the needy expression you wore.

Sukuna pulls your knee spreading you for better access. He shoves further, curling two fingers. You bite down on his skin to muffle the groan caused by the smooth metal of his ring sliding to caress your lower walls. "Your pussy is so greedy, sucking on my fingers. Missing my cock filling you up completely..." Sukuna mutters, increasing the pace as he pumped in and out. His eyes watching his finger slide easily due to your dripping heat.

Your body quivers and you moan loudly, not able to keep it down as you orgasm. "Shhh... baby you're doing so well. Shh..." Sukuna's fingers slide out but before you could whine his hand comes up and covers your lips, you feel how wet you were for him. Your juices coating his hand. You feel Sukuna kiss your forehead and you sighed.

Sukuna sits up and looks around, "Get on all fours for me." He orders as he turns his head to make sure the area is clear of others. You clamor to do as he says. "Princess you look so good arched back like this. So obedient too."

The nickname sobered your mind as you looked over your shoulder and gave him a defiant glare. This causes a laugh from Sukuna. "There she is! I was wondering where my strong headed boss had gone." You open your mouth to curse him but he shoves into you, fingers now grasping your hips. He leans over, tugging your head back to whisper in your ear, "You become such a cute little masochist when my cock is buried in your belly."

"Hah..." Is all you could muster falling speechless. That foreign feeling of metal running across your walls leaving you a mess.

"Look at me princess." Sukuna tests you again but this time you stare up at him desperate for him to break you. "Ahh fuck..." Sukuna's eyes roll back at the image of you below him being so submissive. He could no longer maintain composure as he pushes your head down to the mats and slams down at a harsh pace. You feel him shaking against you, his chest heaving as his breath quickened.

Your nails dig into the floorboard as you whimper under him. "You ok?" Sukuna manages to groan out, not stopping his brutal pace.

"Feels so good..." you were able to moan out and watch his face darken at your words. He takes hold of your arms, pinning them to your lower back angling your body to penetrate you further.

You were convinced he could not reach any deeper but you fell apart as you felt his cock slide lower. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes as your body becomes overwhelmed by the feeling.

"I'm going to treat you like royalty if you let me." Sukuna growls, "But when I'm breaking you like this..." Sukuna bucks into you even rougher, "you're my whore. Right Y/N..." He asks expecting a response but your mind is mush. Sukuna pushes down on your lower back where he had your wrists pinned painfully. "Right..."

You shake your head but it does not appease him. A sharp smack echoes into the night and you cry out from the slap to your ass. "Fuck! Yes Sukuna I'm your whore..." you mewl pathetically. "Fuck I'm going to cum again..." you feel tears falling down your face as your body violently shakes as you climax.

Sukuna could not hold back a moan of his own at your declaration and the feel of your pussy sucking against his cock. You both cry out uncaring if anyone could hear your passion as he twitches quickly pulling out and cumming on your ass. He struggles to reach for anything to clean you off as he collapses next to you. Both of you are still recovering from the overwhelming high, sweat glistening and panting.

"Was that my shirt?" You ask, finally able to form a thought and see it bunched up in the seat. Sukuna lazily glances at the fabric and grins.

"I owe you a shirt..." he says trying not to laugh at your wide eyed expression and you smack his shoulder.

"And a pair of panties!" You grumble holding up the ripped pair you were wearing.

"Don't get an attitude now princess." He further adds enjoying the expression of embarrassment at how you gave into him. You bury your face in his chest and groan. You feel his chest vibrate as he chuckles at you.

Sukuna gently entangles his fingers into your scalp and you make a satisfied sound. He leads your head back and kisses your lips softly. "I love you. It's ok if you don't. I just wanted to let you know." You stare into his stern expression. You give him a nod and he smiles and lets out a breath. "That felt great to finally say out loud. It's like a weight off my chest." Sukuna sounds relieved. Your heart skips a beat. That simple phrase had been so hard for your friends to tell you fell out of Sukuna's mouth so easily.

A sense of joy over takes you and you kiss him suddenly. You watch his happy expression turn to surprise but he returns the kiss with vigor. You feel him smiling.

As the kiss began to become more heated your hear the crunch of gravel as a car drives by. Sukuna pulls away and covers you with his own body. "Let's get out of here. Are you ok staying over?" Sukuna looks worried you may decline which made you smirk.

"I'd love that Sukuna." You reply as he helps you tug on your jeans.

[dissociation-station123]

Nerdy CEO Gojo & Reader

One Shot… unless you guys want me to write more 💕

Warnings: Suggestive situations; Language; Small NSFW scene: Oral

~

You are here again; in Suguru’s bed even when you promised yourself and others you wouldn’t be. He had texted you that he had a rough day and you wanted to ease it like always. Practically running to him addicted to the pain and pleasure when he takes his stress out on you.

You felt a sick sense of accomplishment everytime; Suguru is a calm and collected man. Yet you were often the one seeing him break down. Tense jaw and soft curses spilling from his lips. Furrowed brow and bruising grasp. It was a twisted relationship.

He lays beside you now; breathing steady and in a deep sleep. Passed out without a care. Yet you were wide awake, your mind refusing to shut off, and the adrenaline has worn off. Your body aching in protest as you shift to sit up. You cringe at the bite marks littering your skin.

You struggle to stand; take a deep inhale and force yourself up. Blindly shuffling and fumbling for your discarded clothes scattered across the floor. Each movement sends a sharp pain up your spine. You glance over cautiously and see him still lost to the world.

You needed a shower and comfy clothes as soon as possible. The aftermath always made you feel disgusted by yourself. Wincing you tugged on your jeans and sweater, thankful you were smart enough to set your other belongings on the kitchen counter rather than tossed somewhere haphazardly.

You unlock and escape unnoticed out of his bedroom door and make your way down the hall. When you reach the main area you freeze. Sitting at the island hunched over his laptop was Suguru’s roommate, Satoru Gojo. He wore an oversized long sleeve shirt and pajama bottoms with his favorite Digimon from his childhood. You watch him, a frown on his face as he pushes up his thick frames sighing over an excel sheet.

Satoru Gojo was an interesting person to you. You have only ever met him at the apartment. In his domain he often geeked out over special interests and was quick to give you recommendations on books and anime. When Suguru explained he was a CEO of his family's multibillion dollar company it was hard to imagine.

“What are you doing up Satoru?” You whisper and he jolts upright. The moment he hears your voice a bright smile replaces his weary expression. You can’t help but return it; his energy is always infectious.

“Y/N! Ooo looking over the companies financial reports. I found some errors.” Even though you knew such things vexed him; you could never tell by his chipper tone anytime he spoke to you. “I- well I knew you were here so I brought out an extra mug if you would like some coffee or tea.”

He is such a generous and kind soul. The two men who shared this space were like night and day. You make your way over and are about to prepare your cup when he gets up and pulls out a chair. “I got this. Just sit.”

A small bit of shame crawls to the surface as you see his gaze fall to your neck in concern. You curse Suguru knowing you told him not to leave traces of your escapade in obvious areas. When he is in a feral state you know your pleas fall on deaf ears.

You watch him clumsily move around. You knew you had been here too often when you realized he knew how you like your coffee without even asking. “Have you seen the latest episode of Solo Leveling?”

His movements become more erratic; his excitement visible in his body language at the topic you bring up. “Yes!! Visually it's amazing and the story has been great so far!” His voice is loudest when you discuss his favorite things; it was an endearing sight. You nod your head in agreement as he sets the mug beside you.

Your heart swells pleasantly when he also sets down a couple tabs of ibuprofen. Always thoughtful without asking for anything in return. He was an enigma in your eyes. You grin to yourself as you take them with your coffee. You make a pleased sound at the bitter sweet liquid; comforted by its warmth.

“I can’t wait to see what happens. I am trying really hard not to watch them as they air. But I’m kind of failing.” He looks away in embarrassment and you laugh lightly at the adorable gesture.

“I get it, Satoru. I tend to do the same.” You say and he instantly perks up nodding his head. “You should work on this during the day rather than gaming. You need sleep, you know.” You glance over at the laptop and he sighs at your chastising. But the dark circles under his eyes were prominent in the soft glow. You were merely worried and you knew he would understand.

“A new update came out and we’ll…” He looks down at his hands, which were folded in front of him. When he immersed himself in one of his favorite computer games he tended to lose track of reality which made you anxious for him.

“Have you eaten anything Satoru?” You ask softly and he picks at his nails nervously. “Satoru…” you gently call out and he sheepishly looks up and shakes his head. You click your teeth and begin to get up but he quickly argues for you to remain where you are.

“Please don’t worry about it. I will order DoorDash, a big breakfast.” He counters and you study him suspiciously. He lifts his arms and stutters out a promise.

“Fine but you promised so you better.” You say sternly and he agrees profusely. You smile at him again and he becomes less defensive. “So tell me about this game you're playing.”

And he does; You don’t realize it but after his speal nearly an hour has gone by. You were immersed and moved by his explanation. Engrossed by his excited expressions. “That does sound pretty great. I need to get back into playing. I love turn-based games.” You admit and his eyes widen even more; you did not think that was possible.

“If you get it we can play together! I would show you the basics and help level you up!” He shouts his hands motioning. You would love to play but you knew your computer did not have the specs. It was mostly used on the rare occasion you got to remote work from home.

“I wish I could but I don’t really have the set up for it.” You felt bad for getting his hopes up; his expression falling. He runs his hand through his messy white hair now in thought.

Satoru suddenly perks up, “I could text you some recommendations!” He burst out and you chew anxiously on your bottom lip. Unlike a CEO your salary was average in your city. With inflation you barely managed to cover the bills you had. Yet you didn’t want to burden the happy go lucky Satoru Gojo with your problems.

“I appreciate it, Satoru.” You say as he grins brightly in your direction. “But right now I don’t have a lot of extra money to spend. I’m sorry.” He looks a bit defeated but then shakes his head.

“Let me buy it for you!!” He beams as you take a sip of your coffee, nearly spitting it back in the cup. “It’s no big deal I swear!” You want to resent him for saying such a thing so easily. A thousand dollars merely pocket change to him. But when you look at his puppy-like expression you can't feel any negative emotions.

“No Satoru. I would feel bad. It may not be much to you but to me that is way too much.” You try to explain but his head tilts in confusion. “I could not just accept such a big purchase. I would feel bad.” You try to explain and it finally clicks in his brain.

“I see.” He looks so sad; you pat his hand to reassure him. “What if I get it and then you take your time paying me back?” He refuses to give up on the discussion and you laugh. “Please Y/N! In a way you would be doing me a favor. I get uncomfortable playing with random people online. But with you playing with me it would be stress free.”

There was a long pause between you as you contemplated his offer. He stares at you holding back his enthusiasm until you respond. “Fine…” you finally say and he physically jumps out of his chair cheering. He is so adorable.

“I’ll order everything and can even help you set it up!” He says, more excited about this than you are. He pauses mid fist pump, “If you want. I don’t want to intrude.” His demeanor changes within a second. His shoulders slump as if expecting you to scold him.

A quiet rage builds up within you. Not because of Satoru. But at the people in his life who most likely punished him when he got this way. Who discouraged him for being who he was. That told him he needed to grow up or act normal.

“I would love that Satoru. When I have free time I will definitely let you know.” You are desperate to see the light return to those piercing blue eyes. And we’re grateful when his exuberance returned. Nodding he fidgets with happiness at your response.

“I need to get out of here but text me.” You say the dull aches in your body are becoming stronger. You needed to rest before having to return to work. He nods as he observes how you try and stretch, you catch him scowl which was unexpected. You wonder if he resents his roommate at times for how he tends to only call you when he wants something.

He hurriedly opens a cabinet pulling to go coffee cups down. He takes the mug and pours the remaining contents in and adds a bit more from the pot. “Be safe on your way home Y/N.” He hands it to you and your bag.

“I will! And you better eat or else!” You threaten but you feel a bit like a hypocrite. You always get onto him about taking care of himself; when you don’t follow your own advice. Satoru slips a granola bar into your belongings and you grin. He leads you to the door and waves goodbye.

~

A few weeks had passed since you made a late night visit to Suguru’s place. Satoru was quick to send you his plans for your new setup. You found yourself smiling as he texted you more often. Suguru on the other hand has not reached out since; you attempted to act like it didn’t hurt but a part of you felt wounded.

Today Satoru made plans to come over. He had called early and you could hear his eagerness in every word. He spoke quickly; giving you the low down on the specs and design of the computer. When you gave him your address he promised to stop by.

A knock on your door interrupts your desperate attempt to clean. Work had been rough and once you got home all you could manage was dinner and a glass of bourbon. You were thankful it was the weekend but you grimace at the mess. You answer and apologize for the chaos as you usher him inside.

You do a double take when you look him over. You rarely saw him outside of his abode so seeing him in a pair of jeans and a nice shirt took you by surprise. He looked good; his current outfit is more form fitting. His arms strain, veins visible as he carries in the box with your new CPU; you realize for the first time he is built very well.

You shake yourself from a stupor, “Do you need help?” He sets down the box and you see that he is nervous. “What’s wrong Satoru?” You ask in concern. A blush coats his cheeks as he scratches the back of his neck.

“N-nothing…” he stammers and you raise an eyebrow in his direction. “A few more boxes in my car! I’ll be right back!” He shouts before you could question him further.

“Can I help?” You walk with him but he shakes his head avoiding your eyes.

“No, it's fine. I’ll be right back!” You are perplexed at his awkward behavior; believing you both had grown closer since meeting. You sit down overthinking until you hear another soft knock.

You rush to let him in and he fumbles past with two more boxes and a large bag. You hurry to grab the bag in an attempt to help and at your sudden closeness he pulls away frantically.

Not able to correct his footing he begins falling forward, in a panic you attempt to protect the equipment and Satoru. Everything including the man landed on you, his weight nearly crushing you.

“S-sorry!! O my Y/N!” He moves the boxes, concern present on his features as he scurries to sit up. “Did I kill you?!” His voice high as he lifts you up as if you were a sack of potatoes, your eyes widened at his strength.

You inhale deeply, now able to breathe and then burst out into a loud cackle. His terrified expression morphs into relief and then he joins you in laughing hysterically. When you both manage to pull yourself together, you reach out and grab his chin. The soft blush that coated his face deepens to a darker hue and his eyebrows raise in alarm.

“Satoru Gojo, why are you so anxious?” You question him with a raised eyebrow. “Are we not friends?” Your voice is commanding and he is not able to make eye contact. He squirms a bit in your hold, biting his lower lip.

“W-well.. I-I of course we are.” He mutters, wringing his hands. You release him and he shys away from you. He pulls the boxes near him and begins unpacking. “It’s just…” He pushes his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose.

“Go on. I’m listening.” You muse folding your arms and studying how he fidgets. The tape is giving him a hard time so you lean forward and use your nail to pierce it. His breath hitches at your closeness.

“Don’t laugh…” He sits back on his knees looking pitiful. And you scowl at him for even suggesting you would and he notices. “I know you wouldn’t but it is still a bit humiliating.”

“We all have times where we feel that way. I don’t mean to pressure you. If you're uncomfortable I will not pry.” You say sincerely even if it does hurt your feelings. He never acted this way with you before. You wonder if you did something to offend him.

He sees how your face falls and sits up straighter. “It’s not you!! You're wonderful!!” He says loudly and you smile. His ears turn red at the outburst. “It’s just… ugh…” He relaxes a bit and then looks determined. “I’ve never been to a woman’s place before. I got all in my head about it.”

Your heart leaps to life at his sweet admission. Satoru Gojo is the cutest human you have ever had the pleasure of knowing and this only adds to the title. “Is there anything I can do to ease your nerves Satoru?” You ask genuinely and he looks over at you with such admiration. To much admiration, you didn’t deserve such a gaze.

A few seconds go by as you both kneel on the floor amongst the scattered mess of components. “You already are just being you. Thank you Y/N.” He gushes praise and it’s your turn to flinch away.

“You give me far too much credit. Be careful placing people on pedestals; you will most likely be disappointed.” Your voice is melancholy and you hate bringing down the mood so you flash a smile and bop him gently on the nose playfully. “Let’s get to work so that we can play! I have been looking forward to this since you told me about the game.”

The mention of the game transforms his nervousness into enthusiasm before your very eyes. He nods exuberantly and you both begin putting everything together. He bombards you with more knowledge of the lore and characters. The distraction is exactly what you needed; Suguru and work the last thing on your mind as you both chat.

~

You did not realize that putting together a set-up could be so exhausting. Yet as you stare at the completed project you are overwhelmed by happiness. “We did it! Honestly without you here I would have been lost.” You laugh reaching your hand up to high five Satoru. He eagerly returns it with a beaming smile.

It was beyond what you could have imagined; LED lights (in your preferred color) illuminated perfectly from the white surface. Two 27 inch curved monitors set above a Corsair keyboard and mouse. You were unable to tear your eyes away from how majestic it looked.

“I wanted to help you get started customizing your space even more so…” he sheepishly grins as he pulls out one last box. He pushes it towards you.

“Satoru! You have already done way too much!” You chastise him but your voice was too elated for him to really take it to heart. You open the box and gasp in surprise. A custom desk mat of your favorite fandom. You blink back tears, no one has done anything like this for you. “Th-Thank you!”

You always envied people’s creativity when creating their own space. You had wished you could do the same but it was never possible. This sweet man has made it come true.

Without thinking you pull him into a tight hug; his whole body tenses not expecting the contact. “Thank you so much.” You say gleefully and at that moment you feel him wrap his arms around you and return the gesture.

As you hold onto him you realize how small you feel; your eyes nearly at chest level; his body feels hard in comparison to your soft one. This time your cheeks heat up and you clumsily pull away as your mind takes you on a sinful journey. You cough, “Thanks again.”

He looks so happy and his eyes gleam with endearment as he stares down at you. “It’s no biggie. I’m super excited to play with you.” You shift your weight still trying to get the fresh scent of his laundry out of your mind.

“Let me order food for us! My treat for all your help today.” Your voice sounds a bit shaken and he looks so elated you feel shameful. You were unworthy of him. You fake a smile and pat his shoulder as you move away to grab your phone; putting distance between you. To protect him from your selfishness. You knew you had become a comfort person to him, you refuse to take advantage of his trust in you.

~

Satoru is beside himself that you allowed him to come over. Even bought him dinner. You were so kind and caring. Not to mention breathtaking. As he chewed on his meal he kept stealing glances unable to stop himself. Every gesture and quirk he needed to study it; burn it into his memory.

When you were wrapped up in his arms his heart raced and mind turned to mush. He was intrigued by the effects you had on him. No one else in his life made him feel the way you did. At first it was similar to the way he felt about things he liked; warm and safe. The longer you stuck around they morphed into something he didn’t quite understand.

He did not care about romance or flings. Suguru often bombarded him with women but he found excuses to leave every time. His only friend chastised him all the time about not having a life and Satoru never understood why. It was all dull compared to things he truly enjoyed.

He was often bullied but as long as he was able to learn and study he was fine. His escape from the obligations of his family and the harassment of his peers became gaming and other “nerdy” hobbies. Unable to let go of childhood shows that comforted him when his own parents wouldn’t.

He came to accept that no one truly would know him and he them. That was until you began showing up. At first he dismissed you as one of Suguru’s many lovers. Ignoring you as you passed him to head home; early hours before the sun rose. He noticed you avoided his gaze which he was fine with.

You kept coming around; Satoru was surprised, Suguru never had the same lover for more than two or three nights. Satoru’s curiosity was his guide in all things; Seeing this as an anomaly he began wondering why. So much so he stopped you the next time you tried scurrying out the door.

“Hey! I’m Satoru.” It felt strange being the one to initiate a conversation, he expected you to give him a weirded out reaction. Instead you smile and wave. Something about being able to see genuine kindness in your eyes made him dig further. “Do you like coffee or tea? You look a bit exhausted.”

You politely accept though a bit catiously at first. Satoru hated small talk but he was on a mission. Why keep you around? Suguru had been with women who were more beautiful by society standards. You didn’t have an interesting job. His mind was reeling as he grilled you.

“Hey Satoru.” You interrupt his question as you take a long sip of coffee. He cuts off his sentence to listen. “I noticed your manga collection. It’s pretty impressive.” At this moment all queries dissolved from his mind. He smiles excitedly.

An hour later you're both still in deep discussion about Attack on Titan. She nodded along intently, focused on his words. She did not scold him for being overly excited. He no longer cared why Suguru kept you around. His new goal was how to keep you around longer.

And now he was in your home; Trying to learn more about you from glances at your belongings. He isn’t obsessed, you have just become one of his special interests. “Do you need help installing the game?” He asks after finishing his meal. Not really wanting to part yet.

You look down embarrassed as you confess, “That would actually be great. It’s been a long time since I have played on a console…” So cute!!

“I love this stuff so it’s no trouble.” Satoru explains as he follows you over to the desk. He goes to do it and you grab his wrist, his heart lurches in his chest.

“Do you mind if you just tell me? In case you're not around I’ll know.” You explain and he adds another thing he likes about you to his mental list. Satoru moves over and you sit down.

Satoru easily walks you through the steps; you were an attentive person when you focused. Time goes by as you chat with him and share things about yourself. He dreads that the sun is starting to fall. You looked up and must have seen his frown; you were so close his eyes drift to your lips unconsciously.

“Are you ok?” You ask concerned and he nods quickly. He is enjoying his time with you and did not want it to end. But he knew you had other things you probably needed to do. “Suguru is going to worry if I keep you for too long.”

At the mention of his best friend's name a strange and bitter feeling surfaces within Satoru. Suguru didn’t deserve your time but the way his name fell from your lips, he knew you felt something for him. He hated that.

“He probably has company anyways.” It comes out harsh. He regretted saying it immediately when your expression fell dramatically. “I-I no you are right. I’m sorry!” Satoru panics, desperate to see you smile again.

You laugh but it sounds forced and his chest pangs painfully; stange he wasn’t injured. “No need for you to apologize to me, Satoru. I would be a fool if I believed I was the only person.” Your voice is shaky and he sees tears forming at the corner of your eyes.

He kneels beside the gaming chair and his hand acts on its own, reaching up to wipe them before they fall. He swallows heavily as his lips quiver. “No…” He whispers and then his voice rises, “You are not the fool. He is! You are amazing. You deserve the world.”

~

You look up at him surprised by the passion in his tone. You have heard him go on thousands of tangents with vigorous declaration. This felt different and more emotional. He looks like he is hurting. As he attempts to stop you from crying you see he is on the verge of sobbing.

“Toru.” His gaze meets yours as soon as you mutter his name trance-like. You cup his cheek in your hand and he whines softly at your touch. Leaning almost nuzzling then your thumb swipes across his lower lip; his breath hitches. A new tension envelopes you both and heat radiates between you. “Do you like me?”

“Of course I do.” Satoru says his eyes flutter as you stroke the back of his neck. You shake your head at his casual tone. You click your teeth and he attempts to open his eyes to gaze at you.

“Romantically?” You ask softly. He looks like he is struggling to formulate an answer. Almost as if he is malfunctioning. “Toru?” You say and he stills.

“I think so. I’m not sure.” He is still struggling but he continues, “I just know I want to see you happy all the time. I like being around you and I don’t care for most people. I wanted time to stop tonight so I can spend more time by your side. I like when you touch me. It makes my heart race.”

Then his face contorts and his eyebrows furrow, “Suguru does not treat you well. He is my closest friend. I have never been bothered by him even when he dragged me to large social events but now…” his jaw clenches, “I have this bitter ugly feeling when he talks about you. Or he ignores your texts.”

You are stunned by his admission. You are now at a loss for words and your arm falls to your side. He notices, “Is that abnormal?! Say something.” You hear the panic in his voice and know he is confused.

“No it is normal Satoru.” You quickly reassure him. Noone has spoken about you with such passion. Your body freezes up, “I have just never been told something like that.” You are unable to keep up your confident teasing facade. He looks more upset than you when you say that.

He takes your hand in his own, a bold move for someone who was just blushing about being at your place. “Fools all of them.” His voice laced with determination, as he laces his fingers around your own. You still don’t know how to react. “How do you feel about me?”

Satoru is sweet and kind. You love how carried away he gets when he talks about his interest. He always seems to take care of you after dealing with Suguru. You trust him, which is rare. But you can’t seem to form those thoughts into words. “I like being around you, a lot.” You feel pathetic that you can’t express yourself, but he smiles so brightly.

“I’m glad. I trust you too.” He nods as if he has some weird ability to read your mind. He drops eye contact and chews on his lower lip. “I REALLY want to kiss you right now.” His voice shakes with unease and he shyly looks up at you; the tip of his ears and cheeks are bright red; it seems he was willing to overcome this fear if you would allow him.

He looked so cute in this state, so bashful yet resolute. You could not deny him, you were weak so you simply nod. He looks at you in wonder when you agree, now unsure what to do next he fidgets. “I don’t have much experience with this kind of thing. So I…” Your heart melts at his visage.

You take hold of his face placing your forehead against his own, his gasps at your closeness. “It’s alright. Just relax the best you can for me.” You whisper into his ear and you feel him shiver. He nods his hands on both sides of you clasping and unclasping, not sure where they belong in a situation like this. “It’s ok to touch me.”

The moment you told him it is ok his hands move to your sides, he squeezes gently. Without warning he stands, lifting you up and you let out a pathetic squeal. “How?” You mumble as he carries you towards your couch, as if you were merely a bag of groceries. You expect him to be clumsy but he gracefully strides across the room with a determined look on his flush face.

“Shit…” you curse as he sits onto your couch, you now straddling his lap. You place a hand on his very firm chest and his heart is beating rapidly. You look up at him and a warmth spreads down your lower stomach. His eyes are low lidded and his breathing heavy.

“What now?” He asks, the rough deep tone makes you stifle a moan. This feels wrong, the sweet Satoru you know and love is practically putty in your hand. You can sense he would be willing to do anything for you by his expression.

“Are you sure Satoru?” You ask if this is really what he wants. You don’t want to take advantage. You sit up on your knees to relieve the feeling of him pressed so close. Immediately his hands find your hips and push you back down against the rough fabric of his jeans.

“Yes! Fuck yes…” He seems to be in a haze as his fingers tease your skin from under the thin fabric of your top. This was the first time you heard him curse and it sounded so sweet from his lips. “Please.” He begs and you lose any control you were grasping at.

You reach up and pull him towards you, lips connecting slowly. You wanted to increase the pace but held back. Softly you guide him and he quickly follows your lead. You lean back for a breath and he exhales with a satisfied sound. You grin when he pushes his frames up his nose, the familiar gesture makes you smile. Then he opens his cerulean eyes and pure hunger greets you. “More… feels good.”

You moan when he lifts his hips up and your eyes widen as you feel him rubbing against your center. “Satoru?” You look at him surprised, his hidden muscular figure not the only large thing about him.

“Say Toru…” He whispers, “I like it when you call me Toru.” Your resolve is slipping quickly from his desperate demeanor. Your fingers grip his snow white hair and yank softly, his eyes roll back instinctively. “I can’t think… it’s so strange.” He mutters as his hands cup your ass.

You kiss him roughly and he groans against your mouth. Your tongue slides along his lower lip and he opens his mouth obediently. You both cling to each other pushing as close as possible as you grind against him. The saccharine coos that escape him while his tongue slides clumsily against your own is addictive. Who needs air?

He whines as you disconnect, drool coating and dripping messily. You devilishly nip at his ear and his nails dig into the fat of your butt at the sensation. “Are you sure you are ok Toru?” Your voice is breathless and you feel him shake below you, his clothed cock twitching.

“Uh huh…. Hah… great actually… Ngh…” He tries to answer as you suck at the soft flesh on his neck. You smirk against his skin, letting the newfound power go to your head. Your hands now under his shirt feeling the defined planes of his abs, shifting at your touch deliciously. “Oo my… ummm…” he cries out as your fingers dip lower below his belt line. “Shit…”

You look up to read his expression; you can tell he is a bit overwhelmed but his pupils are blown wide with lust. You bit down on his collarbone to hear more of his cries. Fending for the sounds he gives you from a simple touch and he does not disappoint.

You begin to unbuckle his belt and a string of curses escape from his trembling lips. His phone suddenly rings loudly making you both jump in unison. Of course he doesn’t keep it silenced. “S-sorry…” He mutters, reaching for it and you see that Suguru is calling. A wicked idea pops into your mind. He goes to hang up but you shake your head.

“Answer it, he is probably worried.” You don’t recognize your own voice, laced with venom. As you unbutton Satoru’s jeans and his eyes widen in shock. He does what you say without question like a good boy.

“Hey Suguru...” You see him dig his nails into his palm as you work his zipper, trying to hide the quiver in his tone. He bites down on his lower lip harshly as you place kisses along his lower abdomen.

“You ok? I think this is the longest you have stayed out of the house besides work.” You scoff when you hear that deep tone, slightly chastising him as if Satoru was not the same age; It annoys you. You pull down Satoru’s jeans in one swift motion and kneel between his legs. You watch him swallow heavily.

“Huh?” Satoru must not have heard a word Suguru said, his focus solely on you. You don’t touch, just admire, your mouth opens agape at the bulge nearly escaping his boxer. Satoru Gojo has no idea how rare he is. You lift up your head to smile at him brightly and he returns it goofily. Those cerulean eyes looking down half lidded.

“Are you ok? Are you still at Y/N’s place? Are you playing a game or some’n?”Suguru asks, you hear concern. Probably because Satoru was not often distracted unless by a game or show. Satoru suddenly strokes your cheek affectionately. You take his hand and place a chaste kiss on his palm.

“Yeah. I should be leaving soon. I’m… mmm” He groans suddenly when you take one of his long fingers and places it in your mouth. Your tongue circling the digit. “So-so good!” You swallow his digit and he drops the phone covering his mouth with his free hand, to stifle his whimpers.

“Suguru…” You say condescendly sweet, after pulling Satoru’s finger from your lips. “He is fine. He is going to head out soon.” You knead Satoru’s defined thighs and he uses both hands to cover his mouth, his eyes wide as he watches.

Suguru laughs then, the sound fox-like. He was a calculating and cunning man. “Y/N! I know you are taking good care of him. Don’t keep him out too late, treasure.” He practically purrs full of amusement, it throws you off completely.

Satoru grabs your wrist and places your hands where he wanted you, desperately bucking against your touch. No longer able to hold back his groans. “Have fun you two!” Suguru hangs up, you could envision his soft cocky grin from the sound of his voice.

Seems your scheme backfires, yet the look of pure fascination and need on Satoru’s face is a wonderful distraction. You focus on him freeing his aching cock from the confines of his boxers. It springs free, almost slapping your face, pulsating, and drops of precum trickle from the tip. The sheer length makes you swallow, you feel almost intimidated.

“Looks painful, Toru. Let me help you.” You build up a confident facade but honestly you weren’t sure how to fit this thing in your mouth. You swirl your tongue along the tip and his entire body arches, head falling back against the wall. He wouldn’t judge you, this is all new for him. “Is this ok?” You ask to verify this is what he wants.

“God-God yes yes…” He whines his fingers now traveling to your head for some type of control. You take as much as you can down your throat, choking causing saliva to build up. Your hands squeeze and pull his balls for another form of stimulation. Then you begin to move, stroking the length you could not fit in your mouth, his body quakes beneath you. “Fuck! Fuck! I’m going-wait! Slow down-I’m going to! Hah! Hah!”

It does not take long before he releases down your throat. You grit and bear the sheer amount that slides down, swallowing multiple times. When you pull away you have to catch your breath. “Damn you were backed up huh…” You laugh teasingly and gaze up with a smirk.

He does not verbally respond, his eyes glaze over completely lost in the aftermath of pleasure. His body is still twitching and his breathing shallow. His cheeks flushed, head still back. “Toru?” You whisper sweetly to help shake him from his daze.

You pull his boxers back up and help him dress, he is completely malleable to your actions. “When you get back home we can play for a bit.” That seems to work as his eyes look over at you, that goofy grin returning to his face.

“I love you…” He mutters barely audibly, still trying to recover. Managing to finally sit up on his own. “Shit…”

“What?” You tilt your head in confusion. He finally realizes what he has said and shakes his head. He yanks you down now hovering above you.

“Nothing! But I don’t want to go yet. I want to… umm…” he looks away sheepishly, even after cumming down your throat he is bashful, “Return the favor.” You pull his chin to face you, his thick frames sliding down his nose. You pull him in for a kiss and he eagerly reciprocates.

“Next time, Toru. It’s getting late.” You say and he pouts, so adorably. You flick his forehead playfully and laugh. “Don’t look at me like that.” He then initiates the kiss, the fever and passion making you dizzy. He humps you pushing you deep into the worn cushions. Your legs wrapping around his waist instinctually, craving the friction.

It took every single ounce of will power to shove him back. “Next time…” You remind him sliding your thumb across his drool coated lips. He groans in frustration but nods in understanding.

Reluctantly he gets up and helps you to your feet. You help him gather his things and walk him to your door. “Still up to play when I get home?” He asks you, hopeful.

“Of course. It’s the weekend so I can stay up late with you. Though I apologize if I get you killed a hundred times.” You laugh and he hugs you, lifting you off the ground.

“It’s totally ok.” He smiles, it is radiant as always. He stares down at you with adoration. Then kisses all over your face.

“Satoru!!” You giggle, trying to playfully fight him off but your heart feels so full. He sets you down gently and waves. He begins to walk away but rushes back to you. This time leaning down and kissing you breathless.

“I’ll see you soon right?” He asks almost timidly. And you pat his head affectionately and nod. He returns it and does finally begin to leave.

You walk back inside and collapse against your door. Your heart is leaping and your stomach is fluttering. Who knew the nerdy CEO could sweep you off your feet in just an afternoon. The more you think about it you realize he had always been there after a while. You were just to blind to see it.

[dissociation-station123]

Just curious: Is Sylus single handedly making the nickname kitten ok to use in fanfiction??

[dissociation-station123]

Sometimes you just have to say “LADS men wouldn’t do this shit to me” and go on with your day.

[dissociation-station123]

Chapter Eight - Please Forget

⚠️WARNING - Drunken Sylus (could be considered CNC but nothing explicit happens) Very angsty & a bit dark. If you skip this chapter that is ok. Won’t affect the plot. I totally understand!

~

You watch Sylus take a long sip of bourbon. He asked to come over to your place this week for drinks instead of going to the bar. Every day this week he has knocked on your door and quickly made himself at home. A part of your couch has been claimed as his own. He has been quiet, your usual long conversations now short and shallow.

You were not a fan of raging storms. The loud obnoxious clatters and blinding light that danced in the sky. Destructive winds tearing into trees and property with no bias. Yet the part that made you the most uneasy was before it hit. The stillness and silence before the chaos always sent a shiver up your spine.

As you watch him pour more into his glass, that same eerie feeling creeped up your back. He is a brewing storm, picking up speed with each sip. The wedding was Saturday and you were already dreading the large social event. Seeing him like this made you despise what was to come. You did not dare to interrupt his faux calmness. Your past has taught you instead to tiptoe around it, any wrong move could set off a trap.

“Sylus, I found this road that is popular with bikers. Maybe we could try it sometime?” You speak softly so as not to startle him. You reign in your usual snarkiness to avoid upsetting him. You know he wouldn’t harm you, this was just how you had survived in the past. If you couldn’t avoid them you distracted them.

Sylus smiles but your heart aches when it doesn’t reach his eyes, “Let me see.” He speaks even lower, as if he is drained of energy. You cautiously move closer and hand him your IPad. “That does look nice. How did you find this?”

You wanted to divert his thoughts from her, so you spent days digging through blogs looking for the perfect trail. You don’t say that, “I just ran across it while I was scrolling on Pinterest.” He has not looked you in the eye even once this week, the trend continues as he sets down your device. You frown when he takes a swig directly from the bottle.

“Maybe you should slow down a bit…” You flinch as you speak up, prepared for the storm to be unleashed upon you for being too honest. For this to be turned back against you to make it feel like it was somehow your fault. You watch him carefully, he stares at the bottle for a second before placing it on the table.

“You are right.” He mutters and for the first time he turns to face you, making solid eye contact. So much pain swam beneath that smirk. You instantly open your arms without a second thought. A soft expression crosses his face.

He falls into your hug awkwardly hunched, due to his height. You feel his shaky breath against your shoulder, your face twists with empathy. You pat his back and he genuinely chuckles at your attempt to comfort him but does not pull away, instead his arms reach to pull you closer.

You stay like that for a while. It is a foreign feeling to just exist in someone’s embrace with no ulterior motives. You confirmed that there was no need to fear him. He doesn’t break down, but he does not let up on his grip. “It’s ok.” You whisper and he lets out a breath, you feel some of the tension he held release.

Is this what true trust feels like? Though you were both struggling in your own ways, neither of you took it out on the other. Instead you found comfort. “Thank you Y/N.” His deep voice crackled with melancholy. You feel tears form in your own eyes, knowing that he struggles to show any form of weakness.

“I’m here and will be for as long as you need me to be.” Your whisper coated in heartbreak for him. You want to be the perfect decoy to keep him from spiraling like you had years ago. Dark thoughts dominated your mind and you did not want that for him. He contributes much good to the world, he is needed.

Sylus hums at your words, the sound like velvet so close to your ear. You swallow heavily to keep yourself from delving into salacious thoughts. “What are friends for if not for comfort.” You mutter gently, finding your sanity again. Then his fingers caress your lower back. Your nails dig into the palm of your hand.

He leans up his face inches from your own, breathes intermingling. Those eyes roaming your expression, in search of something. You smile goofily and try not to look at his lips. “Best of friends.” He says low, his gaze too intense, you look over his shoulder for reprieve.

“Yup!! So you feeling better?” You ask abruptly, sitting up and creating a bit more space. He chuckles and you feel the vibrations from his chest to your own. He nods and moves further away, a sly smirk still lingering.

“With you there I will be fine.” He says more to himself than to you, but it makes you feel stupidly giddy. He turns towards you again and you shrink back unconsciously. He takes hold of your chin a bit roughly, “You should be more cautious of letting men over so late at night.”

You glare at him, “I can protect myself. Remember you have been training me. Plus it’s just you.” You sneer and he frowns at the last statement as if offended. “You always come over late, you're nocturnal. Stop being weird.” You pull his hand away and he grins, but it’s Fox like.

Suddenly he grabs hold of your arm yanking you into his lap. He rests his hands on your hips, causing you to be unable to move away.

“You can handle yourself. Yet I have you trapt here, at my mercy.” An inferno rumbles to life within you, you tell yourself it’s anger.

“Sylus…” You hiss out his name in warning, you don’t mind his teasing but this was too much. It no longer felt friendly, the term you had been clinging to during every flirtatious comment he uttered in your direction. “Don’t fuck with me.”

“You know that look is so irresistible. When I see that fire in your eyes…” He says his voice is husky and deep. You feel as if you could combust on the spot, out of anger of course! You use your arms to try and push away but in the blink of an eye he has both your wrist in one large hand behind your back with ease. “Sweetheart you got to do better than that.”

“You're freakishly huge! This is not fair!” You pout and your head tilted in frustration. “Most men aren’t as big as you!” Sylus’s hold on your wrist tightens, you wince a bit. You seeth but when you look up at him you freeze. Those reddish eyes are low lidded, he chews on his bottom lip, and a faint blush coats his cheeks.

“Sylus!” You shout his name, surely he is thinking that you are someone else right now. He was probably a bit tipsy since he had been drinking more than usual. You needed him to snap out of whatever this was and quickly. “Damn it!”

“Your pout is adorable, treasure…” He mutters the nickname you had only heard once before, and was not intended for you. “It’s driving me crazy…” You gasp when he grinds up against you, you close your eyes to fight the pleasure that rushes through you. “So cute…”

“Fuck you Sylus!” You shout desperately, you fight against his hold once again as you do a low groan escapes his lips. It was seduction personified. “Who am I?! Who is in front of you right now?!” You are fighting your own body at this point, it would be so easy just to give in but he is too important to you now.

You let out a sigh of relief when he releases your wrists. You weren’t expecting those large hands to wander to your neck, encircling them. Your eyes widened in panic, this was your weak spot. “You are my bestie…” He says way too smugly. He applies a bit of pressure and a soft moan escapes, legs tightening around his hips involuntarily. “You like it rough… fuck… I knew it.”

Your hand moves on its own, you smack him in a last ditch effort to take control of whatever was happening between you. His hand falls to his side and he looks down at you in shock. “S-sorry… but…” You stutter getting off of him in a hurry tripping over your own feet. “You are drunk Sylus. You should go.”

Sylus nods, the impact seemed to have knocked some sense into him. “You are right as always…” He says unable to look at you, his face red now from what you assumed to be embarrassment. He gets up and begins collecting his things. You help him still slightly out of your mind. His touch felt way too good.

As you walk him to your door he turns back to you, “I am so sorry. Please forgive me. It won’t happen again.” He is genuine and you can read the regret in his expression.

You nod and squeeze his shoulder. “Look, you drank a lot tonight. And you are stressed about the wedding. I understand.” He frowns then as if he wants to say more but simply nods in agreement. “I’ll be ready at 8 on Saturday, make sure you pick me up on time ok? I still got your back!”

You smile at him and he tries to mimic it but you see he is still upset. “We are both pretty touch starved. So let’s just forget about it.” You try to give another excuse, deep down a part of you wants him to disagree. But he doesn't, he nods and his eyes brighten a bit.

You let him walk out of your apartment as images of those long fingers tightening around your neck invade your mind once again. You close your door and collapse against it. You let out a deep breath, feeling shame course over you at how much you enjoyed what had happened.

You realize that if he hadn’t been drinking you probably would have let him use you, however he wanted. An old habit coming to the surface. A habit formed from a desperate need to feel needed and wanted. When he explained it was a mistake the next morning, you knew how painful it would have felt. Slashing open scars from your past that had finally healed.

You swallow as you collect yourself. The storm brewing within Sylus was indeed a destructive one. Yet you forgot about the one within yourself. That had been building up for years. If you both would have unleashed them together everything would be decimated. No rainbow would follow behind, just pure devastation. You need to be more cautious.

~

You groan as people at work surround your cubicle. “They are beautiful!” One of them gushes at the giant bouquet of red roses that were delivered. You text Sylus to chew him out but the embarrassed expression he wore from last night infiltrated your thoughts before you could press send.

“So was it that tall man we saw a few months ago? How serious is it?” The questions flew at you like bullets. You sidestepped them the best you could. Your phone rings, the secretary downstairs explains there is a take out delivery waiting. SYLUS…

By the time you clocked out from work you were exhausted. You shuffled out the front door physically slouching. When you see him leaning against your car smiling widely, you groan. He holds out a large basket full of essentials for a long trip, brands that you knew were probably way too expensive. “Sweetie, you look so tired.”

“Get in the damn car and let’s talk!” His teasing expression falls immediately at your tone. He rushes to the passenger seat not even making a slick comment about how messy your vehicle was.

“Even this was too much?” Sylus amused at your frustrated face. “Glad I didn’t buy the sports car. I had a nice red bow I was going to put on it and everything.” You glare at him and he throws up his hands in defeat.

“I thought we agreed that we would not acknowledge what happened.” You say a bit coldly and he frowns. “I told you we are fine. No need for the gifts.” You can’t look at him, this felt a bit too familiar to what your ex husband would do when he lost it on you. Being sweet the next day.

“I don’t want to forget.” He says suddenly and you look up at him pissed. “You should have done more than smacked me. I deserve your anger. I’m not doing this for forgiveness.” He ruffles his hair, stifling a sigh. “I don’t know what I’m doing…” His somber tone quells your fury, “I’m scared you will run. I realize I need you. I don’t want my drunken actions to push you away or remind you of things you have buried. Please… talk to me.”

“You were drunk…” you go to give him excuses but he shakes his head. “What do you want me to say? I’m scared you will run to Sylus! I don’t want to lose your friendship over this. I need you to!” You were shocked by how loud your voice echoed in the small space. The silence that followed was crackling with tension. “That is why I want to forget.”

Sylus does not move as you shout at him. You have both said much worse things to each other but it was to break through both your barriers. This felt too real and too dangerous. “I understand.” His voice was somber and it hurt you.

He did not comprehend your true fear. The one you could never admit to him. That last night his touch was intoxicating. That it kept you tossing and turning and unable to sleep. He was not meant for you in that way.

Another long pause and you both stare anywhere but at each other. “Are you hungry?” He finally speaks, aiming at your weakness for food. You start up your car and nod. “Find the greasiest spot you know. I think we both need it.” You laugh then and he chuckles along with you, a sense of normalcy washes over you both.

“You know I know a place.” You say confidently and he smiles at you. Such a breathtaking sight, that you can’t look for too long. You grin when you feel him take your hand and squeeze, you squeeze right back.

“Yeah yeah we are both fucked up.” You mutter and he agrees while you pull off.

[dissociation-station123]

I really did not think I was a black cat but 🤷‍♀️ 😂

Fun personality quiz for Valentine’s Day ♥️

all my lovely mutuals (and everyone who stumbles across this) feel free to take the quiz and lmk what you got~

[dissociation-station123]

Chapter Seven - Perfect Distraction

Sylus X Reader

Warning - Mention of emotional trauma due to past relationship

“You need more sleep.” Sylus chastises you, both of you sitting at the bar on a Thursday evening. He cups your cheek studying the dark circles under your eyes. You quickly shake away from his grasp, a pout on your face.

“I sleep!” You counter poorly and he rolls his eyes. You huff and take a sip of your drink, sighing contently from the burn as it travels down your throat. Soothing the stress away in an instance.

Sylus clicks his teeth at you in defiance. “You take far too many late night trips to that convenience store. That’s very dangerous.” He continues like a disappointed parent. It is now your turn to roll your eyes.

You go to take another drink and freeze. You begin to process his words, your eyes widen in shock. Sylus has been able to predict your every move and even more so now that you have become close friends.

You begin to search your clothes frantically. “What are you doing?” Sylus asks in confusion, eyebrows raised. He is not comprehending your sudden erratic movements.

“Did you put a tracker on me or something?!” You glare in his direction as you feel the seams of your shirt. Sylus burst into a chuckle at your paranoia. He grabs onto your shoulders to stop you from removing your clothes in the middle of the establishment.

“That is ridiculous. You sound insane.I just know your habits now.” He says so coyly that you get an urge to pinch him. You give him a side eye as you take a drink which only makes his grin wider.

“You guys are so adorable.” The bartender walks over with a bright demeanor and you sneer in her direction. This emboldens him further, scooting his chair closer leaving no space to breath. Wrapping his stupidly muscular arm around your shoulder.

“My kitten is the cutest.” He purrs directly in your ear and your mouth opens in disbelief. You slowly pan your face to glance up at him, “She looks so charming when she scowls at me like this.” The audacity he has when he bops your nose is unfathomable.

“I will torture you slowly. The bliss I will feel when you cry out in agony will be my lullaby.” You grit your teeth yet you knew it would not faze him.

“Yes sweetie, I love when you talk dirty.” He bites his lower lip condescendingly, it’s so damn attractive. You facepalm to avoid staring. Sylus sees this and assumes your defeat he pulls away with an obnoxious laugh.

“Maybe our friendship was a mistake.” You mutter into your hand. Sylus was perceptive and heard every word.

“It's too late now. I gave you a chance to run.” He Grabs your glass and finishes your whiskey with a twinkle in his eyes. “Not my fault you're a fool who fell for my charms.”

You ask the bartender for another and she gladly complies, amused by you both. “It was not your fake facade Sylus. Once I got to see underneath I knew you needed someone. The more we hung out I realized I needed this too.”

Sylus is not expecting a genuine response. He was waiting for a dig or teasing comment in return. His cocky expression dissipates within seconds, he gives you a nod in understanding.

Before he could speak, the bell above the door of the bar chimes, a large group of people walk in. “Looks like a busy night. Want to go for a ride?” He asks and you agree without a second thought.

Since the first ride together this has been somewhat of a routine for when the bar became a bit too crowded. Sylus always recognizes your discomfort and whisks you away on his bike. The ride itself has become less nerve wracking and you have begun to enjoy them.

You both escape the bar, it’s become a habit for him to take your arm and guide you through the chaos and boisterous chatting. You take a relieved breath when you make it over to his motorcycle.

You wait for him to hand you the helmet and place it on yourself, now a bit of an expert. He gets on and you follow, holding onto his waist, gently compared to the death grip you had from the first few times. The tension of the original experience caused by fear has now dissipated.

Sylus leans back into you and turns his head, “Where to?” He asks softly and you honestly don’t care as long as you get to hang out with him for a bit longer.

You lift the visor, “Doesn’t matter to me. Let’s just ride around for a bit.” He studies your face and smiles then shuts your visor.

There was no longer the gnawing tension of riding on what you originally deemed a death machine, but a new form emerged that you are now struggling to push down. Your stomach flips pleasantly when he pats your thighs to signal he is pulling off. You lean into him and your heart races at the heat radiating amongst you.

You remind yourself he is just a flirtatious being, it holds no value. A man like this is not meant for you romantically, someone who struggles with the concept. He deserves a whirlwind of love you're not capable of providing. A kind that is suffocating that drives the couple to the brink of destruction together. A story book of passion.

You are jolted out of your thoughts when he takes hold of your hand and squeezes tightly. A signal you both developed to pull each other from your thoughts, you squeeze back to reassure him your ok, feel his thumb caress your hand in acknowledgement. A friendly gesture of understanding, you repeat it a few times internally to remind yourself.

Your thoughts relax when he pulls onto the highway ramp, and the wind begins to swirl around you as he picks up speed. Your hold loosens even more as you hum at the adrenaline now coursing through your body. You glance up at the night sky, through the smog and bright city lights it’s hard to see stars. You can’t help but to think it’s still a beautiful sight as the scenery flashes by.

You never imagined yourself especially at this age on the back of a Ducati. Yet now that you are you wonder what else you could find yourself doing. The hope that diminished a long time ago makes its way slowly to the surface. You want to push it back down as well but you don’t, instead you laugh, lifting your arms recklessly. Not for too long but just enough to make you light headed at the sensation.

You feel Sylus’s body shake with laughter and you feel a bright smile on your face. He picks up speed and you find yourself giggling like a child.

Way too soon he is pulling up to your building. You slowly dismount and begrudgingly take off the helmet, passing it back to him. “I knew there was boldness hidden inside you.” He grins and you shrug, though you felt proud. “Someone who drinks as much as you do has to have a reckless soul buried.”

“I don’t drink that much.” You counter and he gives you a stern glance. “Ok I should cut back a bit. You're the one who introduced me to the fancy stuff.” You cross your arms.

“So you just do whatever I suggest?” He leans in close, his eyebrows raised, “I have quite a few more.” That seductive tone again, you push him away playfully. He is just a flirt, it’s nothing serious.

“I refuse to go skydiving!” You proclaim physically placing your foot down. He chuckles at you as he gets back on his bike to leave. He turns to observe you standing on the sidewalk.

“Let me cook for you.” He states, something that sounded so harmless. “Come over to my place.” That sounded dangerous and definitely made you give him a second look.

A few minutes pass as he waits for your reply. “F-fine!” You mutter anxiously, the idea of being in his home sounded intimate. You continue to tell yourself that he is simply being friendly. He smiles when you agree.

“I’ll text you the details. Goodnight Y/N.” He started up the bike and you were thankful for the loud roar of the engine. Worried he could hear your heart beating out of your chest, you watch him drive away.

~

Your body is buzzing with overwhelming anxiety as you knock on Sylus’s door. An unfamiliar voice is heard from the other side. “It’s her!! Can’t wait to meet her.” Their voice, playful.

The unknown person opens the door and you are greeted by two masked figures. You jump back in surprise at their outfits. It was not Halloween but their garments had you second guessing yourself.

“So sorry! We don’t mean to startle you. We have to protect our identity. Boss told us to leave before you got here but we couldn’t help ourselves. I’m Kieran!” One of the men holds out their hand, their friendly persona calming you down. You give him a handshake and smile.

“I had to see the person who got the boss to eat at a burger place. I thought he was mess’n with us. I’m Luke!” You wave and he does the same. “It’s an honour to meet the great Y/N in person. The boss is always talk’n” Before Luke could continue there was a loud commotion in the hallway.

You have never seen Sylus in a state of panic before, there is a first time for everything. The large man charges down the highway haphazardly knocking into the wall. His eyebrows drew together anxiously. “Out!!” He shouts at his coworkers.

“Sorry boss!!” The two men say in unison and rush past you with a final wave in your direction. You burst out laughing, holding your stomach unable to stop. Seeing actual terror in his eyes over something so trivial, tears formed in your eyes.

“Are you done sweetie?” His voice is flat as he towers over you in the doorway. His hand resting on the frame, his ruby eyes piercing into you like daggers, yet your giggle persisted.

“I’m— sorry…” you snort as you try to stop but at the moment it is impossible. “The intimidating — haha — Sylus — haha — wait…” You struggle to breathe but it feels good. “Sorry — I was so nervous.” You finally reign in your chaotic chuckle, that felt like a spell was placed on you. When you finally look back up he is smiling with you.

“Laughing at my expense, how cruel. I will have to punish the twins later.” He motions for you to enter and you do. You take off your shoes in the entryway, your mouth gapes from the luxurious interior of his home.

“Please don’t. I was super anxious about coming here and they were very kind.” You turned to face him once you registered his threat. “I also haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time.” You grin and he lets out an exaggerated sigh.

“I’ll let them off the hook then.” He says with faux annoyance as he guides you down the hall. Your head is on a swivel taking in the modern style. In a place like the N109 zone this was a rare sight. “Impressed?” He asks with a sly smirk.

“So much space for one person.” You scowl and he smirks at your sign of contempt. “It’s nice though.” You shrug as you both finally reach the spacious open kitchen. Designer bowls, utensils, and fresh ingredients are set out on the marble countertops.

“If you're done judging my lifestyle, would you mind cutting and dicing a couple tomatoes?” He says coyly as he moves around working to prepare the meal. Soul crushing anxiety returns immediately and with a vengeance, as you walk to the sink to wash your hands.

Familiar words echo in your mind from memories past - You are useless, can’t even boil water right - Don’t hold it like that idiot -You are lucky I put up with you because no other man would

Sylus notices your blank stare, waving a hand in front of your face, holding out a towel. “You alright?” He questions and you nod frantically as you dry your hands. You straighten up attempting to mask your expression to avoid further investigation.

“Yeah of course.” You say and push him away. He chuckles and moves to the cabinet to grab something else. You move back to the counter, look down and scold your shaky hands as you lift up the cutting knife. You take in a breath trying to combat the internal thoughts haunting and harassing you. You grab a tomato and place it on the cutting board.

You swallow heavily and are about to cut when a shadow blocks the light from behind you. “It was rude of me to put my guest to work.” Sylus whispers directly into your ear. You let out a breath you were holding as he wrapped his hand around yours. He gently guides your movements until both vegetables are perfectly sliced.

“That’s it, nice job.” His baritone voice is soothing. A smile forms on your face as you both dice up the tomatoes together. “Thank you for your help. Now…” He sets down the knife and turns you to face him.

Sylus tilts your chin up, an endearing look is hidden in his eyes. “Sit here and look pretty.” You let out a surprised yelp as he effortlessly lifts you up to sit on the counter. “Shouldn’t be too much longer.” He promises while tapping your shoulder affectionately.

You watch him attentively as he moves around the space with concentrated ease. Stirring, chopping, and mixing with keen precision. It felt like a performance. After a while he walks over to you with a spoon. “Open.” He orders and you examine the sauce, the smell is wonderful.

You do as you're told and as soon as it hits your tastebuds you groan. You give him two thumbs up and he chuckles with pride. “Sylus you are something else!” He rolls his eyes and stealthly dabs your nose with the leftovers. “Hey I was being sincere this time!!” You say through a laugh, swiping the sauce and gladly licking it from your finger.

He has you taste test a few other things and then the meal is ready. You hop from the counter enthusiastically. Helping him carry everything to the large decorative dining table. “Is this also where you hold your mob meetings?” You tease surveying how many chairs are tucked neatly into the table.

“Just ignore the bloodstains.” He quips back and you both smirk in unison. You then dig in with no hesitation. You would tell him to open a restaurant but knowing him he probably already owns one. “I love how expressive you are when you eat.”

You look up with a mouthful and go to glare but can read the sincerity on his face. He had told you he envied how easily you were able to display your emotions. A pang of sadness hits you knowing he probably has reasons why he is unable to. A naive part of you craves to see it and hoard them for yourself.

“Why did they push back the wedding? Not that I’m complaining, I was dreading it to be honest.” You ask and feel guilty when his smile fades, replaced only for a second by vulnerability then back to his stoic facade.

“The groom is a doctor and there was an emergency. So they postponed it.” He keeps his voice even as he speaks so to avoid any slip of emotion.

“I was wondering if she changed her mind or something.” You feel awful for what you said, but you craved to see a deeper part of Sylus. So you could help pick him up like he had you.

Sylus frowns, “It would not change anything even if she did.” You study him and watch as his jaw clenches. “She has decided.”

“Good for you.” You respond honestly and boldly. His pride was damaged but not broken. You look up at him and he smiles, his eyes scanning you as always. He must have determined you were being truthful because he nods.

“Thanks for coming Y/N.” He mutters and you now nod. You wanted to reach out and squeeze his hand but there was too much of a distance. You both quickly change the subject and the rest of the night seems to fly by.

In your mind as you both laugh and carry on you think:

I may not be the passionate person he deserves but at least I can distract him for a bit until that person comes a long…

[dissociation-station123]

You've gotta love Jews more than you hate Nazis.

You've gotta love trans folks more than you hate TERFs.

You've gotta love your unhoused neighbors more than you hate the billionaires.

You've gotta love immigrants more than you hate ICE.

You've gotta love queer kids more than you hate christian fundamentalists.

You've gotta love fat people more than you hate the diet industry.

You've gotta love disabled people more than you hate the insurance companies.

You've gotta love your fellow humans more than you hate the worst that humanity has to offer. You don't have to like every person you're fighting for, and you sure as hell don't have to give up your righteous anger, but hate is ultimately corrosive.

You've gotta love.

[dissociation-station123]

Btw, this is how conservatives keep getting to claim that trans people are a new thing no one has ever heard, because our history and existences have continually been erased or obscured systematically through out history.

The most famous example was 92 years when the Nazis raided the library of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, the medical practice where the term transsexual was first coined and the first gender affirming surgery was performed in in 1931.

What did the Nazis do after raiding the library on May 6th, 1933? You may be familiar with these images

It is happening again.

[dissociation-station123]

Chapter Six - Lapse in Control

Sylus X Reader

You were unable to form a sentence at the moment. Chemical endorphins in your brain were overflowing with pleasure. All you could seem to do was groan in appreciation. “Y/N..” A voice calls out your name but the juicy burger was way more tempting than the baritone sound.

A hand reaches out to grab your own as you go to savor another delectable bite. You look up at the man across from you. “I’m getting jealous sweetie.” A fake pout appears on his face and you begrudgingly set down the meal.

“Sorry but this is delicious.” You praise whoever created such a masterpiece. He chuckles again as he nods. “What were you saying?”

“Are you free on the last Saturday of this month?” He asks again, you have come to appreciate Sylus’s patience. He never makes you feel rushed to do anything.

You laugh at his question and his eyebrows raise in confusion. “Sylus, you do know who you're talking to at the moment right?” He nods still unsure why you won’t give him a simple yes or no. “Then yes I have no plans whatsoever. You are the only one who forces me from the comforts of my home.”

He smiles then as realization crosses his features. “Right. I have a favor and I never ask for those lightly.” His gaze falls and though his tone is light it’s laced with a bit of melancholy.

“You seem to like owing me…” You tease and he smirks amusement now taking over. “Spit it out already. Would love to finish up this burger sooner rather than later.” He grabs a napkin and gently wipes the corner of your lips as you scowl.

“I have to attend a wedding. I would prefer not to be at this one alone.” He doesn’t give any more details but you have already pieced them together.

“Sure I’ll keep you amused so you don’t have to think about the bride.” You answer and he grins appreciatively. “Permission to punch you when you look dazed and like you're reminiscing on the past?”

“Full access granted if I can call you kitten.” He counters and you frown. “And since I assumed you would say yes because you are a kind person, I have plans after this to go shopping.” A heavy sigh escapes your lips at the thought of having to browse around a store.

“Only because I like you. But you owe me a lot more of these burgers in the future.” You say not looking forward to the events after tonight’s meal. He holds out his hand and you take it, shaking in agreement.

“Thank you.” He says earnestly and you glimpse a bit of fear but only for a second. You pick up your burger and take a large bite, savoring the flavor.

“I don’t like going to big social events. The thought of doing that alone seems even more unbearable. You're a friend so no need for thanks.” You think back to your melt down earlier in the day. The embarrassment you felt once your sense returned and how Sylus handled it. You owed him the same consideration.

You continue eating and once done he lifts the napkin and you grumble. “I’m not that messy.” You complain but he simply smiles. You realize this is how he shows he cares. He is still closed off in a way but his actions show you who he truly is.

-

“Y/N…” Sylus calls out to you from behind a fitting room door. You already feel awkward and out of place, this particular mall being a hot spot for the wealthy. “Can you help me?”

“You are awfully needy today Sylus.” You counter and hear him chuckle. You make your way into a private fitting room, still overwhelmed by how people cater to him the moment he walks in.

It was massive, there was even enough space for a fancy upholstered velvet chair and end table, where a nice bottle of whisky sat. The glass beside it is already half filled, you eye it wanting just a sip. “Go on. It’s fine.” You gleefully pick it up and make a pleased sound.

“The tailor had to deal with an irate customer before finishing my measurements.” You look over at him, now aware of the fact he was very shirtless, you nearly choke on the second sip of liquor. His physique was something out of an otome game, one of the main love interests. You couldn’t help but stare greedily.

“Well, care to help me?” He asks again with a sly expression, knowing you were mesmerized. Holding out the measurement tape towards you. “Just need to get my waist. Think you can do it sweetie?”

“S-Sure…” You gulp hating how pathetic you sounded. Thinking way too much about not looking awkward as you attempt to grab the tape from his hand while also setting down the glass, the ice clinging. Your limbs tremble slightly, it’s been awhile since a half dressed man stood before in an intimate space, and he was ridiculously attractive. Even you who tended to not pay close attention could not ignore it.

“You alright? Not feeling well? You looked fine while stealing my whiskey.” He says snarkily but you don’t know what expression he has because you're too busy ogling his chest. You simply nod and make your way closer, trying not to trip over your own feet, the big fitting room suddenly feeling too small.

You wrap the tape around his waist but apparently not where it needed to be, his hand guiding you lower. You swallow heavily, the heat from his body making you shift your weight uncomfortably. You try not to look, but your eyes get drawn to the perfect lines of his abs.

Something takes over you, some force that has been hidden deep within yourself for some time. Without doubt or hesitation you lift your fingers to trace the enticing curves biting your lower lip. You feel the muscles beneath your fingertips tense and Sylus let out a breath, as they journey lower.

“Hah… Y/N what are you doing?” He questions his voice lower than usual. He quickly grabs your hand, halting its movements. You look up at him in that moment, dazed by his beauty.

“You're so pretty Sylus. It is unreal.” You mutter dreamily, those red eyes widen at your words. His expression is void of his usual cocky defiance and teasing.

“Yeah… You think so?” He asks huskily, his grip now loosens on your mischievous hand. There is a sudden hunger in his eyes that you have never seen or noticed in another human. You slowly nod your eyelids droop as you fall further into this strange haze.

“Sir, I apologize for the wait.” The door to the fitting room flies open, roughly knocking you back to your senses. You blink a few times and then hurriedly look at the number on the yellow tape. “Oo my, sorry for interrupting.” The clerk looks to the ground in embarrassment.

“No umm it’s not…” You struggle to find an excuse but there are too many running through your mind to physically voice them. You rush over to the table and quickly scrawl the number into the notebook laying there. “I’ll meet you out there Sylus.” You stumble forward rushing past the employee, your cheeks burning up.

You lean against the wall, your head falling back against the cool concrete. Your heart is pounding loudly. You close your eyes trying to pull yourself together. Overwhelmed by this sudden rush of feelings, catching you completely off guard.

“Seems she got the last measurement for your shirt.” You hear the clerk's muffled voice as you wait. “You wanted a pair of pants, right sir? Would you like me to get those measurements as well?”

“No!” Sylus shouts aggressively and you are startled by his harshness. You hear him immediately apologize to the clerk, you could only imagine how scared they were beside him. “I realized I have a pair at home that will work perfectly. So no need.”

A few seconds later the clerk emerges with notebook in hand, still a bit frazzled. You watch as Sylus takes out a small stack of bills and places them in their hand. Sylus looks a bit disheveled as he continues to apologize and explain when he needs the items.

Your heart is back to a normal pace as you smile a bit seeing him awkwardly fumble in a conversation. Very not like the Sylus you originally met. You stand up from leaning and make your way over to him.

“I don’t think I can afford anything at this particular mall.” You interrupt and his gaze quickly shifts to you. He stares at you for a second then nods, a silent understanding that what just happened was not to be spoken of. It was just a lapse in control, both of you being touch deprived and a bit lonely in nature.

“Not to worry. You have helped me out and have agreed to go so I must return the gesture.” He explains as you both head out the door. You make a disgruntled face but he ruffles your hair teasingly. “No complaining.” You sigh and agree.

As you make your way to the boutique to pick out your outfit he grabs your shoulders from behind and pulls you close. His breath tickles your ear causing a pleasant shiver to run down your spine, “You can be bold when you want to be can’t you kitten.” He whispered, his voice tinged in seductive tones.

“Sylus…” You growl, warning him as you turn around to face him with a fierce glare. He puts his hands up in defeat but his coy expression has returned, and so does his loud laughter.

“Ok! Ok! It is now wiped from my mind dear friend.” He says almost gleefully. You knew he was temptation personified but you knew you were usually unfazed by such antics. Being around him more often is causing you to revert back to your past self. One not hardened by betrayal and pain. What a dangerous man…

[dissociation-station123]

Chapter Four: Losing Control

Suguru X Satoru X Reader

Smut warning!!! ⚠️

You should stop. You need to come to your senses. But then his teeth dug harshly into the side of your neck and he made a deep guttural sound. As his hands ran over your nipples, you were helpless. Lust is dominating all other emotions. Your head falls back and eyes roll. "Suguru..." your usually abrasive tone was now a whimper.

"Say it again..." he snarled madly as he sucked on the delicate skin of your collarbone. "Call out my name." The gently coaxing before has dissipated, it was a demand.

You tried to but all you could do was moan when his face lowered and tongue swirled around your areola. He lets out a frustrated groan. Again you were picked up as if you didn't weigh anything and tossed on your back, bouncing lightly.

You were in a state of shock. No other man had handled you this way. The rough way he pinned your wrist back with one hand, hovering above you. The tender touch of his fingers from the other as he trailed up your stomach, between your chest, and taking hold of your chin.

Since you had met Suguru and Satoru you had taken back control. Which mirrored your actions when you were intimate with someone. You weren't used to being the one on your back. The one pleading for more.

Suguru kisses you,  it was all consuming. Tongue and teeth. Biting and sucking. It was like he was taking ownership of your very being. "Hah..." You gasp for air when he pulls back. Leaning away just enough to tug his shirt above his head.

You admire his physique. You knew he was in shape, he boxed as a form of exercise. Seeing him above you like this was something else, sinful. Your hand reaches up on its own to caress his abs. "Ah ah..." Suguru says as if getting onto a bad pet. "I didn't give you permission to touch."

You feel yourself actually pout. "Don't look at me like that..." He warns and you feel a bit of shame. You wanted him. No, you craved to feel him. "What? What do you want pretty?"

You reach up again but he takes hold of your hands. "Use your damn words." You are going crazy. Being denied like that was twisting your mind.

"I want to touch you. Please you..." You manage to whine. A dark expression clouds his features, hearing you sound so pathetic. Suguru clicks his tongue at you condescendingly.

"I thought we taught you to get rid of your people pleasing ways. But here you are wanting to pleasure me. To appease me." Suguru continues to scold you. Some strange part of you enjoyed it. "Have you really lost yourself to me that much?"

Your lower lip quivers and you see him tense at your reaction. You shake your head yes. Again he joins his lips against yours. "You're too sweet." He mutters against the kiss. He nibbles your ear and whispers, "But I'm not done yet. So bear with me."

Gripping your hips he forces you to arch as he removes the last layer of clothes. "Look at me..." He demands again and you refuse. He pinches your inner thigh and you yelp. "Stop being stubborn."

You look up at him and he grins. He grips your thighs. "Fuck... I love them so much..." taking his time he runs his fingers along your knee taking his time moving up. You open your legs wider to guide him where you want to be touched most. But he only slows his pace. Meticulously teasing your inner thigh. While leaving marks on your neck and deep kisses on your lips.

"Suguru please...." You cry out then cover your mouth embarrassed by your outburst. Suguru chuckles, reminding you of your friend. Your mind starts to awaken. What am I doing? "This is fucking insane..." You mumble but before you could fully come back to your senses his long fingers are shoved inside of you. "Hah..."

"You're so wet..." Suguru moans as his thumb rubs your clit. You barely comprehend what he was saying. Your nails dig into the sheets and toes curl. "You are so sensitive.... God it's so adorable..." His fingers pull out slowly and you miss the feeling of being filled.

"Please!" You beg him to keep going. You moan loudly when he  pushes back in and curls his fingers, running them along your spongy walls. "Fuck yes like that..."

"Tell me I'm making you feel good..." Suguru growls his forehead pressed against your, his pupils dilated and cheeks flush.

"So good..." you say and he finds your sweet spot. Your whole body convulses under him. "You... o my god..." Tears begin to cloud your vision as he relentlessly strokes the same area. Your legs tremble. "Going to cum..."

"Already... so easy... Being such a whore for me..." Suguru degrades you just as you feel yourself crash over the edge. You cling onto his body, the sounds escaping you were unrecognizable. Your pussy clenches and unclenches as he removes his fingers.

You can't think as he brings them to his lips licking your cum. "You taste amazing." He compliments you then shoves those same fingers into your mouth. You suck them and he moans. "Filthy slut..."

He takes your hand and places it on his lap. "Look what you have done." He says as he forces you to touch his erect dick.

"Want me to take care of it for you?" You ask with a sultry pout. He bites his lip and it's the sexist thing you have ever seen. You squeeze his cock and he lets out a deep groan. The sound turns you on even more.

"Can you?" He asks as if doubting your ability. Something burns in you, the need to prove yourself. You nod confidently. "Alright then..."

You smirk almost manically. You push him back and force him down to sit against your headboard. Poor Suguru... you have made a grave mistake... This was not about simply providing you pleasure, this was about gaining back control.

It was your turn to explore him. Your mouth and tongue quickly go to work. Small bites along his neck. The soft groans he produces only motivate you more. Your tongue circling his nipples following the curve of his abs. You easily pull down his sweatpants.

Your eyes widened as his erect cock was freed, he was large. "You were so confident. Are you still sure you can handle it?" Suguru asks smugly.

You glare at him defiantly, as you run your tongue along the tip teasingly. The way he sucked in a breath made you grin. "Shut up..." you mutter and suddenly his cock was down your throat. His hand gripping your hair. You make a startled gag as he pulls you back up for air. Your eyes were watering.

"What was that pretty?" Suguru asked maliciously and you shook your head. "I could have sworn you told me to shut up..."

"Nope me? Suguru..." you backpedal suddenly realizing you may have mistaken his compliance for submission. He smiles tugging you in for another kiss leaving you breathless.

"My fault then." He whispers biting and tugging on your lower lip. Frustrated with losing control you pull his head back by his long hair. "Getting feisty again..." Suguru chuckles but then moans when you bite down on his shoulder.

"Sit up." You order him as you grip his chin and you get a smirk in return. He obliges with amusement present on his face. You take hold of him again with your hands, slowly caressing the veiny shaft. You spit and take your time rubbing the tip, you could feel him throbbing at every touch, his breathing becoming more uneven.

The moment you lower your lips to suck gently his head falls back, you see his clenched fist and arms flexing beside him. "You said I am the sensitive one Suguru. If only you could see yourself..." You whisper your breath ghosting against him.

"Watch yourself..." Suguru growls and you smile. Before he could get the chance to force his cock down your throat again, you swallow him whole. "Ahh fuck... You're too good at this..." He whines a bit as you move vigorously, choking yourself with his dick. "Hell I thought you were such a good girl.." His voice was now raspy and you can't help but rub your thighs together. "Who knew you could suck dick like this..."

Drool pools around your chin and your jaw aches. The fact you had this massive man under you losing all his ability to think made you mad with lust. "Y/N... O my god..." He cried out as you swallowed around him. "Gonna cum down that tight little throat..."

You feel his cock twitching but suddenly you wanted to toy with him. You pull up and feel him shake, as you grab the top and squeeze to stop his release. "Ahh fuck... you are cruel!!" He shouts his eyes rolling back as he bucked up into your hand desperately.

"And your adorable Suguru..." you mock him. You suck in a breath when those dark eyes open and glare down at you. A chill travels up your spine at the intensity. "Wait... Suguru..." You begin to sit back but it was to late.

He was quick and his large hand easily wrapped around your throat. His eyes never leave you as you gasp.  "You love teasing and torturing men don't you my sweet little Y/N?" His voice is menacingly low as you nod. He squeezes and you tense up as the oxygen slowly stops. Your nails dig into his forearm as your vision begins dotting with black specks.

"Sug..." you try to call his name but it's useless. Just as you felt you were about to pass out he lets go. Your head rushes and you arch forward clinging onto him as your body trembles. You moan at the sensation.

"Are you going to be good for me now?" He whispers and then sucks on your earlobe. All of your senses were heightened. His breath on your neck gave you goosebumps. You had lost all control of your body. 

"Yes I'll be good..." you groan and his hands circle around your neck once again with another tight grip, your body crumbles and you cry out from the pleasure of it all. Not able to think. "Lay on your back like a good little slut then." His lips are on yours as he devours you with a kiss. It is overwhelming.

Your body was still shaking as he lets you go and you lay down. Suguru climbs on top of you staring down with animalistic passion. "Open your mouth..." You open your mouth and stick out your tongue, still a moaning mess. You watch as he grins then strokes himself.

Without warning he guides his cock into your mouth and then grips the headboard. "You are so tough..." He thrust roughly down your throat and your arch up. You grab at his hips to try and get him to move and he laughs. "Awww you want me to fuck your throat?" Tears fall down your cheeks as you nodded. "Fuck your so cute..." He whines and as if he had lost all patients he began to slam in and out of your mouth.

"You look so hot like this..." He growls, increasing his pace. "Can't last... holy shit..." He shoves his dick down as far as possible and you feel his cum slide down as you swallow around him. "Mmm fuck!!" Suguru shouts out curses and shakily leans away. You take in breaths. Your mind is blank. You felt intoxicated. You didn't know if you could move.

Suguru recovers faster than you. You feel his tongue trace your body. All you could do was make pathetic noises. He scrapes his teeth along your lower stomach and your finger entangles into his long black locks.

"I'm going to enjoy devouring this gorgeous cunt..." You hear him but what he says does not register as you watch him remove a ponytail holder from his wrist with his teeth. He looked unexplainably sexy as he pulled up his hair into a bun.  Hypnotized by this visage you are too slow to react as he yanks your legs apart and you feel his tongue slide across your folds.

Your body is possessed as it arches up at an awkward angle. You cry out for him and he groans. He greedily sucks up your wetness and it's pure bliss. Shoving his tongue inside you already feel yourself about to climax. "Go ahead and cum. I'm not a fucking sadist like you." He says harshly then continues eating you out like he is dying of thirst. You crash over the edge and he moans into your pussy, lapping up your juices.

He doesn't stop after your walls stop tensing. "Suguru... too much!!" You whimper, now overstimulated as his tongue continues to plunge deep inside you.

"It's only fair Y/N..." he says as he now circles your clit with his tongue. "You tortured me by edging me. Now I'm going to make you cum over..." He sounded completely drunk from the taste of you, "and over and over again..." He viciously sucks on your clit and again his long fingers find the perfect spot inside of you. You were truly going insane.

You felt wet tears on your face after the third orgasm. You were pleading to him as he messily and hungrily licked and stroked you. Suguru no longer spoke just low groans and his eyes went wild and primal.

Just as your body surcame to yet another pulse of pleasure causing your head to roll back. You see your bedroom door swing open. A tall figure stands in the doorway. Your foggy mind travels to find piercing blue eyes wide in shock and a grocery bag crashes to the ground. "Satoru?" You barely recognize your horse voice as you stare at your other best friend.

[dissociation-station123]

Chapter Three- Heat

Suguru X Satoru X Reader

Your body always blazes when you feel rage and anger. You aren't able to form a cohesive thought, it's all reactive. A burning passion. The heat takes over making you do things you might regret...

Of course you were all crowded around in the pretentious VIP section, thanks to Satoru. Overlooking the rest of the night club. It did make for great people watching. One of your favorite past times was deciphering random stranger's stories as you sipped whiskey on the rocks.

The seclusion was enough to make you feel at ease. Suguru made sure your glass was never empty. Satoru would randomly pull you up out of your seat to dance when a song you liked played. You realized you definitely needed this due to all the stress from your day to day life.

"Y/N!! Take another shot with us!" You hear Yuta shout as you were watching a couple angrily argue at the bar. Downing what you had left in your glass you join the group and they pass you a tube.

"Fuck is this tequila?" You ask, making a face as you sniff the contents. They laugh and raise up their arms for a toast. You shrug and do the same.

"We will watch out for you." Suguru whispered knowing you tended to stick with dark liquors. You have never doubted his words so you smile. They all shout a generic cheer and you chug the tequila with only a small amount of regret.

The night became a bit more clouded after that. The small space became more crowded as unfamiliar faces began taking over. You no longer felt the comfort of isolation. The attractiveness of your friends became a curse. When you notice their absence. Though it was amusing watching people try to garner attention from them.

Before long you felt a need to get out of the tiny space. A hand takes hold of your arm as you stand up and you glare ready to cuss out whoever had the audacity. "Hey..." Leo the piercer from the shop grinned down at you. Your eyes were drawn to the intricate blue rose tattoo on his neck.

"Hey..." you say back trying to refrain from the urge to trace the lines. He chuckles lightly and you frown. "Want to dance?" You ask, needing to get out of the stuffy area. Leo nods and leads the way down the stairs. You look back and catch Suguru's gaze and he winks at you mischievously. You flick him off and turn.

The dance floor was a bit more spaced out. The buzz of alcohol made the pulse of the music almost hypnotic. You took hold of Leo arms using him as a way to balance. You turn your back end into his hips and let the rhythm consume you. Your eyes closing, you become lost in your own mind.

You don't mind as you feel his hands trace along your waist. You realize it had been a while since you allowed anyone this close to you physically. You grind into him and move his hands to your exposed thighs. You hear him let out a strained moan and feel his breath against your neck. You look up with a glazed innocent expression only to discover he was looking back up towards the VIP section.

Curious what could have his attention you follow his line of sight. A woman was glaring back at him but draping herself around Satoru. She was in a beautiful designer outfit. Her manicured nails dig into Satoru's arm. Her salon styled hair was perfectly in place. "Trying to make someone jealous?" You say catching Leo off guard.

You move your body to face him, your hands now stroking the back of his neck. "What?" He mutters completely distracted. You take hold of his chin forcing him to look at you. His green eyes widen as you bite your lower lip. "Umm no." He lies and you roll your eyes.

"Why did you join me?" You question and he looks annoyed, pushing you away slightly. You were now feeling a sense of frustration and anger.

"I don't know. You seemed a bit lost. Suguru asked me to keep an eye on you." He said nonchalantly and you realize he was coaxed into dancing with you. Feeling deflated you no longer feel transfixed by the pull of the music. Everything became overwhelming.

"I see..." You whisper frowning and Leo notices your shift in behavior. The man was an idiot so his next words did not sting as much as they should.

"Oh shit. Did you think I." Leo actually laughs and you clench your fist to avoid punching him in the face. "Hey Y/N you're cool and all. But you're like one of the guys you know."

"If you wanted to make someone jealous then all you had to do was be up front about it. I would have helped." You say backing away. As you go to leave he takes hold of your arm once again to pull you back.

You don't know why you expected an apology. You assumed some good in all humans existed. Instead when he opened his mouth your jaw dropped, "I meant to ask when you had some free time could you take a look at my car stereo for me?"

Instead of giving him an answer you grab the nearest glass from the table and pour the leftover contents over his head. "Fuck off." You snarl and begin walking towards the closest exit for some needed fresh air.

"You bitch!!" You hear Leo shout and hate all the attention. You could feel all of the eyes shift in your direction. Your breathing becomes rushed and your vision hazy as you throw open the doors to the club. You gasped in the air desperately, clinging to the closest wall.

You repeatedly told yourself everything was ok. You hated that your anxiety could ruin any good moment you had without warning. People walked past giving you alienating looks but never asking if you were ok.

As you crumple against the cold sidewalk you tuck your face into your arms. A gentle hand taps lightly at your shoulder and you jolt up ready for a fight.

Yuta throws his hands up. "Hey! Hey! It's just me. I brought you some water." You see the clear plastic cup in his hand and try your best to smile as he kneels beside you. You take it from him and sip slowly. "It's nice out here tonight." He mutters to himself.

"I love the cool breeze." You lift your face and let it flow easing your heated cheeks. He grins at you as he sits beside you.

"Don't let me ruin your night Yuta." You say knowing he was being kind. You finish the water and settle down. "I'll be fine. I'm going to call an Uber and head home."

"It was getting a bit crowded there. I didn't come out here because of you." He teases and you push him playfully. "Have you seen the metal special edition dice set yet?" He asks, pulling out his phone.

You look over his shoulder. "I ordered them the other day." He says and you perk up and complement them. You both talk for a bit until your ride arrives.

"Thanks Yuta." You say as you both stand. He gives you a small hug and you push him towards the door. "You have an awesome time ok. You deserve it. Let Suguru and Satoru know I headed out." He simply nods and waves as you get into the car. You let out a breath as the driver pulls away. You hoped you had not caused too much drama. You never mean to but sometimes it seems to follow you.

You don't remember getting to the penthouse. You fling off the tight dress and suffocating maroon push up bra and lacy panties. In its place you grab boxers and a tank top. Mindlessly you are able to shower and change. You collapse into bed. The softness of the mattress is paradise. The weight of the comforter easily allows your mind to shut off as you fall asleep.

"Hey Y/N..." you hear a voice like a pest close to your ear. You swat the air mumbling nonsense but the fucker is persistent. "Hey! Wake up." You slowly open your eyes to be greeted by familiar dark ones.

"Suguru what the fuck..." You grumble as he begins attempting to push you over to make room for him on your bed. "Go to your own bedroom..."

"That would take too much energy. I'm already here." He rebuttals, his long hair tickles your skin. You realize he had not dried it all the way as dips of water trickle down your arm.

"It's right next door, weirdo. You're getting my sheets wet!" You say exhaustedly trying to push him off but it was like moving a boulder. You move and begin trying to kick him.

Before you knew it his muscular arms had caged you in and all your effort just left you breathless. He puts a finger to your lips, shushing you. "Don't you dare bite me!" He warns and you huff. "Just..." he adjusts your body, easily cuddling you against him. "There we go."

"Suguru..." you whisper sleepily but then he begins caressing your scalp. "Mmm." You let out a content sound and he chuckles. His breath ghosts across your shoulders and your body tingles. Ooo no... wait... Your eyes open again in panic.

"Hey, you're ok. Fucking hell Y/N, your always overthinking everything." He scolds you when he feels you tense up. After a few seconds of awkward silence he speaks up again. His voice was raspy. "You ok?" He asks and it's laced with concern.

"Yup! I'm great." You say and you hiss when his fingers begin massaging down your rib cage. "It would be better if I had my own bed back." Suguru laughs again but you never realized how seductive the sound could be. Brain what are you thinking... I know it's been a while... but no!

"Stop acting like a brat. Relax and be good for me." Suguru whispers and you shiver. Then his hands roam to the side of your hips where your skin was exposed. It felt good, too good and your heart began racing. You bite your cheek to reign in these sudden emotions.

This was not Suguru's usual behavior. You had grown accustomed to Satoru being clingy and needing physical reassurance. Suguru always needed his space. He was always calculated about physical affection. His strange behavior had you thrown for a loop. Your tank top suddenly felt a lot thinner. Silently you were freaking out.

"Suguru..." again you call out his name as a warning. You begin to try and escape. Moving your body, you arch your back. Your ass grazing his groin. The deep groan that escaped his lips was sinful. His hold tightened on your waist as he cursed under his breath.

"Don't push your ass against me like that... fuck..." Suguru growls and you feel him nip at your shoulder with his teeth. Your mind blanks but your subconscious shouts at you to stay aware. You turn to look at him with wide doe eyes. You see him gulp for a second but a wide smile takes over his features. "Leo is a fucking tool. If only he could see how cute you look right now."

Suguru was teasing you. That is what this is. You were not in the mood to be messed with. Turning back around you muster all of the remaining strength you had. You manage to use your leg power and the fact he had let his guard down against him. Within seconds you had managed to flip over and pin him against the mattress.

You expected him to be laughing at you as you pinned his arms above his head. To mock your erratic and rough behavior like he always does. Instead his eyes were low lidded not with amusement but with a deep hunger. The lustful gaze caused your lower stomach to twist pleasantly. "Shit..." You whisper feeling yourself slowly given into a forbidden urge.

The grip you had on his wrist loosened. "You're so beautiful..." Suguru said softly his gaze traveling to take you all in. His hand reaches up tracing your jaw. "He is a damn fool..." You assume he was talking about Leo again but thoughts quickly evaporated when he leans up, your faces inches apart.

"Can I kiss you Y/N?" Suguru whispers as his thumb runs along your lower lip. You need to say no. This was a horrible idea. But your body was a traitorous bitch. You shake your head yes. Slowly at first he presses his lips against your own. Sweet and gentle you basked in the feeling.

But you could feel the heat building. You begin to grind against him and you both cry out. Desperation for more takes over. He swiftly sits up, his strong arms easily pulling you to straddle his lap. His hand fists your hair and his tongue pries open your mouth skillfully.

"This is such a bad idea..." you say, gasping for breath as you both pull away for air. Strings of saliva coat both of your lips. Suguru no longer hears your words. He looked like a man possessed.

"Do you want me to stop?" He manages to groan out as he begins pulling at your shirt. His eyes never leave your own.

"No..." you answer, enjoying the euphoria of his touch, of his kiss. "Please keep going..." you sounded as if you were begging. Which made his features shift to more of a beast than man, animalistic and starving. In one quick motion your tank top was on the ground.

[dissociation-station123]

women! be difficult! be mean! they’re gonna hate you either way!

[dissociation-station123]

Chapter Two: The Shop

Suguru X Satoru X Reader

One of the perks of being besties with The Satoru Gojo is that the man was loaded. You were able to graduate from college debt free. He also found you a job at one of the most well known luxury auto body shops in the city. The cars you worked on every day were the type you thought as a kid you would never see in person.

Suguru was given his own tattoo shop in the same area of town. You wondered if he did this on purpose to keep track of you all. Satoru never really thought that deeply so you always dismissed the idea.

You spent years trying to convince Satoru to stop throwing around his money on you both. In the end you had to accept that was how he showed his affection.

You were now stumbling towards Suguru's shop like a newborn fawn. Damning the creator of high heels while simultaneously pulling down the short velvet dress you had been forced into. You always had a respect for women who made walking in outfits like this majestic.

"Y/N cursing like a sailor is not very ladylike!" Satoru scolds as he walks by which causes you to give him your most intense glare yet. He gulps and decides to run into the shop. Smart man...

A chuckle from behind you makes you turn. Suguru takes hold of your arm steadying you and opens the door. "You look fucking hot. Stop worrying so much." You grumble as he helps you walk through the door. You hated that you felt so dumb in this attire. Dressing up like this made you feel like you lost a bit of yourself, foreign.

"OMG! Y/N!! Is that you?!" A shrill squeal diverts your thoughts. The beautiful receptionist runs from behind her desk pushing Suguru away. He gives you one last smirk as he walks back to his office. Feeding you to his wolves.

The bubbly woman spins you around excitedly and you hold onto her arm. Your cheeks felt hot as the other artist emerged from hiding to check you out. You froze in an awkward stance not sure how to respond as they complimented you. You throw up two thumbs up and say thanks repeatedly.

"What? Y/N! You clean up real nice." One of the artists gushes.  You could not identify anyone at the moment because your mind was in fight or flight mode. In a panic you shout a loud thank you and pull away from Lilly's clutches towards the back.

You do catch a glance at the piercer, Leo as you stumbled past. His jaw was nearly on the floor. Suguru was always saying he had a thing for you. You never trusted his judgment. The look in his eyes said maybe he wasn't wrong.

You open the door to Suguru's office and slam it closed, greeted by hysterical laughter. "I'm so glad my suffering amuses you both." You mutter pushing Satoru over to sit on the large couch.

"It's rare to see you so vulnerable. I have to savor it while I can." Satoru smiles but rubs your shoulder in an effort to console you.

Suguru continues to laugh as he pulls out hid iPad to finish up a sketch for a customer. You want to watch but do not want to risk falling and furthering your embarrassment. Used to your curiosity as he works, Suguru turns and sighs. "Satoru..."

"Ooo fine..." Satoru says pulling out a backpack. You raise your eyebrow and he opens it to reveal flat but stylish sandals. He hands them to you and your thankfulness out ways the anger, knowing he had them the whole time. You switch out your shoes and rush up to observe Suguru, who is grinning pleased with himself.

You always felt a sense of peace when you visited the tattoo shop. Everyone got along well for the most part. You did not have trouble conversing. They made you feel a part of the environment. You were often the therapist of the group. Easing any small tension that would arise.

As you watched Suguru fill in the design you tugged on the short dress once again. "Why couldn't you have had Suki come here after Suguru closed..." You complain to Satoru.

"I did contact her at the last minute. Had to repay her kindness with a quick session of my own." Satoru hummed and you gagged. "Hey you asked!" He shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

You knew that your two friends got around quite a bit. What you weren't expecting was that their behavior would rub off on you. Being around them gave you a sense of confidence you had never had the ability to feel before. You became dominant in your intimate relationships without realizing it. You expressed your wants clearly. Unlike in the past where you felt your needs were a burden. Hearing men whimper easily became one of your favorite addictions.

Being able to not have to hide yourself was empowering. You have always been thankful to Satoru and Suguru for helping you find your voice. You picked on their promiscuity but you would never judge them. They created a safe space.

"Y/N..." Satoru whispers standing beside you, pulling you from your thoughts. He lifts a blunt towards you and you smile. "I told you I'd reup for you." He winks handing it over. He pulls up a chair and you light it up. Easily falling into a discussion while Suguru finished up.

Small timeskip

Being at the shop was not as difficult as most social situations. The people there were friendly and welcoming. One artist in particular was your favorite, Yuta. He was a bit reserved but you both had found a common interest, Dungeon and Dragons. You both had a fascination with cool looking dice and exciting stories.

"I hate the new class. It's way to overpowered!" You complain as you were currently looking at some of his drawings of monsters. Yuta laughs and nods in agreement. So engrossed in the topic you did not realize Satoru had snuck behind you until he wrapped himself onto your back.

"Satoru... not every conversation has to involve you." You tease as he nuzzles into your neck and you ruffle his hair.

One thing you had discovered about Satoru Gojo was though he was always the center of attention he felt a sense of utter loneliness. Growing up in a well to do family where his parents often left him by himself he never really received normal attention and caring as a child. As his friend you always tried your hardest to be there and to reassure him.

After you pat his head, Satoru grins sheepishly and stands. Content with your affection he now sauntered over to flirt with Lily the receptionist. You laugh as her cheeks flush red and she twirls her hair shyly.

"Doesn't that  annoy you?" Yuta says watching the interaction at the front desk. You look at him confused.

"Why would it?" You question and he shrugs.

"I don't know. I just don't see how you can live with those two. They are cool and all but their personalities can be so intense. You're always so chill. Like the opposite." He explains as he begins cleaning his station.

"I've known them a long time. I understand them. Under all of that abrasive energy they are very kind." You say with a far away look as you stand and stretch.

"Y/N! I'm ready for you!" You hear Suguru shout from down the hall. You pump your fist excitedly.

Yuta sighs, "I guess..." You hear him mutter but you were already racing towards the back. In any group personalities can clash. Suguru and Satoru both had a very large presence. You knew you were a buffer when things got heated and you didn't mind. As a child you sat amongst chaos of shouting and manipulation. This was easy.

You enter Suguru's studio and jump onto the tattoo chair. He smiles at you as you observe him preparing the inks. He already knows what you had been wanting. It had to be small because your body was a canvas for his art already. You loved everything he created so being a human portfolio never bothered you.

After an hour you lifted a shot glass in cheers with your best friends. The rest of the crew had left and you had just finished cleaning when Satoru decided you all needed to pregame. "To a great night. Thank the higher powers for Y/N finally agreeing to join us!"

You down the liquor and are wrapped up in a bear hug. You giggle, unable to contain your joy. With a positive mindset you all make your way out into the night.

[dissociation-station123]

Amongst Friends-Moving over from my Wattpad account

Suguru X Satoru X Reader-Best Friends to something more

Warnings: Sexual content; Angst; Some drug usage

Chapter One- Chaotic but it’s Home

You grumble as you sleepily make your way towards your kitchen in desperate need of a strong mug of coffee. Due to the lack of sleep you clumsily fumble along until you reach the opening to the living room.

All the frustration from last night quickly builds back up when you spot the pathetic figure of a man hunched over on the couch rubbing his temples while scrolling through his phone. "You!" You growl menacingly and those baby blue eyes look up at you in panic.

"Y/N... Y/N... calm down. Let us discuss this like adults." His voice was raspy probably due to all of the activity from the night before. "Please... I will reup for you!" You stalk towards him and he cowers a bit pleading for your mercy.

"Satoru Gojo...." You snarl letting your rage consume you. "You want to know how my night was?" You sit beside him and roughly grab onto the collar of his shirt. He nods his gaze laced with fear of your wrath. "First I had to deal with an irate customer. A tiny scratch on their Mercedes that was already there. But my boss made me stay late until it was gone. That is always fun right."

Satoru nods along and you grit your teeth. "By the time I finally got off work I was exhausted and starving. So I thought I would treat myself. So I went to my favorite late night wing place and ordered my favorite combo. Sounds great right?"

"Yeah you really love those lemon pepper wings Y/N." He says giving you a cheesy smile, you hated how attractive it was. "Did you get some carrot sticks and ranch?"

"But of course I ordered that as well, Satoru. Like I said I was super tired so I grabbed my order and headed home. And Satoru, do you know what is super relaxing after a long day of manual labor and your favorite food?" Your voice was dripping with malice and he knew why you were upset yet he continued to appease you.

"A blunt... Y/N I'm sorry!" Satoru pleaded once again but you shushed him and he quickly obliged.

"After searching and not finding the little I had left I told myself Y/N it's fine. I took a deep breath and showered, getting hyped to eat. Satoru guess what?" You ask and he shrugs his shoulders. "They had given me the wrong order. Can you believe it? But I was starving so I again told myself to relax and ate. To get a good night's rest and it will all be fine in the morning. But Satoru, do you think I slept well?"

You watched as Satoru swallowed nervously and shook his head no. "And why was I not able to get much sleep last night?" You glare at him and he stutters.

"Because Suguru and I had company last night." He whispered and the hold on his collar tightened. "Y/N..."

"That is right! I was kept up by sounds of women wailing and moaning like we had been haunted by fucking banshees. You inconsiderate asshole!" You lunged for his throat as he choked out apologies. You were seeing red until you heard a startled gasp. Your head shifts to two figures emerging from the hall.

"Please ignore them princess. Just my crazy ass roommates." A deep velvety voice cooes to a woman tightly gripping her heels in her hands. You release your hold on Satoru and give your best welcoming smile and wave. Suguru rolls his eyes and you try to reign in the overwhelming urge to flick him off.

"Sorry, I didn't realize we still had company. Would you like a cup of coffee?" You say sweetly and sit up. Satoru makes a relieved sound and scoots away from you. You watch as the woman grins but looks up at Suguru for permission. Suguru glares at you and you smirk knowing he did not like keeping his one night stands around for too long.

"Sweetheart I would love for you to stay but I have to get some work done. And trust me those two are not good company." Suguru smoothly explained and it was your turn to roll your eyes. She nods and waves as he leads her out the door. You shake your head and make your way to the kitchen. Satoru jumps up racing in front of you.

"Wait nerd let me make your coffe for you as a form of truce!" Satoru shouts as he passes and you get a bit of enjoyment from the hint of pain on Suguru's face at the loud volume. As you walk past him you bump his shoulder and he laughs.

Leaning down he whispers into your ear, "You look like shit." You lean back back against his chest and look up.

"Fuck you! Unlike some people I have a real job. I don't have time to be a whore." You sneered and pushed him as he chuckled, colliding into the wall. You mutter curses, walking to the kitchen and jump up to sit on the counter.

Satoru looks over his shoulder as he prepares your drink with large puppy dog eyes and an adorable pout. You hated that you couldn't maintain the loathing you had tried to hold onto. You sigh, "It's fine Satoru. It was just a rough day yesterday."

Suguru saunters in, leaning beside you. "I know a solution for your attitude problem Y/N." You frown, daring him to say what he was thinking. "You just need get laid." Those dark eyes never leave yours as he winks. Without hesitation you punch him in the arm.

He hisses in pain. "Fuck... So damn violent. No wonder you can't keep a relationship." Suguru then goes on the attack, poking you in the sides and you fold. You manage to grab his wrist during the struggle and twist. "Ok I give!" He says and throws up his hands.

"Good boy..." You mutter and he bites his lip aggravated his teasing had no effect. Satoru hums as he takes your favorite mug from the counter.

"Yeah our Y/N is not for everybody that's for sure." Satoru smiles at you but it kind of stung. You look down and twist your fingers. You were not small and petite. Evidence of that was your large thighs, you poke at them subconsciously. You had a horrible mouth. And you never bite your tongue on important matters. You knew you could come off as abrasive.

Suddenly a shadow was in front of you. A finger lifting your chin. "Hey now, don't look so down." Suguru grips your thighs and squeezes and you jump. "I think your plump thighs are your best quality." Your heart jumps and it takes a second to form thoughts again. "Wow Satoru, I think I broke her for real this time."

You push him away as he laughs. Satoru grins as he hands you your sweet dose of caffeine. "No, I just haven't had enough coffee yet. I'm still tired." You mutter, taking a sip and moaning. "You are forgiven Satoru." He pats your head affectionately and you all make your way back into the living room.

You all settle in the usual morning spot. You slowly enjoy your coffee as Satoru lays down in your lap consumed with his phone. You and Suguru mindlessly glance at the tv. You run your fingers through Satoru's soft fluffy white locks.

"Are you off today?" Suguru looks over at you and you nod. Saying something about how much you needed to relax.

"Come to the shop with me today. Satoru is off and I only have a few clients. Then we can all go out after." Suguru says rather than asking knowing you would fight him on his suggestion. You grimace and he sighs. "Come on! I'll give you another tattoo..."

The temptation was great. The pain of the needle and the beauty of his work did something to heal your soul. You pause and Satoru looks up. "Pwease!"

"Ugh... fine!" But Suguru, you better not be trying to hook me up with that piercer. I swear I would ruin his life." You point a finger and that cocky grin forms on Suguru's face as he agrees. Satoru smiles widely and begins feverishly typing on his phone. "What are you plotting?" You ask, poking his forehead.

Satoru innocently points to himself and you glare. "Texting Suki. We have a reputation to uphold my dear Y/N. So if you're going out with us, sweatpants and t-shirts just won't do." Satoru explains and you take a breath. Suki was one of Satoru's regular flings and a brilliant stylist to the stars. You cringe at the thought of what she may put together for you.

"Make sure her thighs are on full display." Suguru adds and Satoru mumbles in agreement. Your anxiety has already started flaring up. "You will be with us. You will be fine." Suguru comforts you and you nod.

Both men looked content and happy that you had decided to hang out with them. These two idiots were your best friends and your entire world. You were an introvert not sure how to communicate with the world and instead of one extrovert you were adopted by two.

You fought but were always there for each other through any hard times. Each of your personalities complimented the other. A solid and unbreakable bond emerged from the cracks within yourselves. Creating a solid foundation of trust and understanding.

You knew nothing could ever destroy that. Not the occasional flings or toxic family intrusions. You believed that with every fiber of your being.

A deep sense of foreboding was present as you took your last drink. You couldn't shake it. Surely it was not some weird foreshadowing like in a novel. As you reminisce about the strength of your friendship a sudden crack appears. No, I'm just being paranoid...