dizzylard

[dizzylard]

Been sat in tears. I'm such a huge, fat disgusting pig.

I made a pair of wide leg trousers, using a new sewing pattern and they are way too tight. I've been trying so hard to lose weight but yet I'm still humongous.

I'm never eating again. My body has enough fat to live off!

[dizzylard]

Day 8

I have mobility problems so I don't really have a set routine. It depends how good (or bad) a day I'm having.

I try to walk daily, depending on pain levels. I go swimming 2-3 times a week and I'm just starting to go to the gym, currently twice a week. I do 20 minutes bike, 10-15 minutes elliptical and then a few sets of weights.

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Day 7

I have no contact with my parents as my mother is psycho. She mentally and physically abused me and tried to start that on my own children, so I cut her out of our lives. I miss my dad though. But he will always take her side.

When I used to restrict as a teen/young adult she didn't care or notice. She would call me names and belittle me, so I ⭐️ved myself to 43kg and I still wasn't good enough.

[dizzylard]

Day 6

I'm not sure if it counts as a binge? Sometimes I eat more, taking my calories up to maybe 1500 in a day. Which is far more than I usually allow myself (500-700kcal). But I do not eat past feeling full or stuff myself with packets and packets of items.

It does still make me feel disgusted with myself though, so maybe that's all a binge is? That feeling of guilt and disgust?

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Day 5

I want to be able to make myself clothes that look good and use only 1m or less!

I want to go to the doctor and not have them blame my weight for all my issues.

I want to feel attractive and not feel so ugly and disgusting all the time.

Yes I'm doing it for myself.

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Day 4

My biggest fear is being left with loads of loose skin. I'm also really worried my girls will see me losing weight and pick up on my messed up eating and copy.

Or that I will always be a great gross whale and I'll never actually manage to lose enough weight.

Just ordered a scale, I'm going to keep it under my bed so no one knows how often I'm weighing. I also don't want my girls to become disordered.

[dizzylard]

Day 3

I love everything about this picture. Collar bones on show, tiny arms, flat stomach and smooth legs. She also doesn't look frail. I want to be slender and strong!

I did my measurements today I've put weight on! It makes no sense. I'm trying to do a 36 hr fast today but my husband is home and he probably won't understand my need to not eat. So my timer is set for 21hrs for now.

I've cut milk out of my coffee as I didn't know that breaks your fast. And we're all going out for a walk today. fingers crossed I see some results.

[dizzylard]

Day 2

Im 5ft 4 and a half. No, I really wish I was taller.

[dizzylard]

Seen this a lot recently and think it's a great way to stay motivated.

Day 1

Im 109.8kg 🤢 waist is 39inchs chest 45, hips 51.

[dizzylard]

Hw: 125kg

CW: 109.8KG

GW1: 105kg

GW2: 100kg

Gw3: 95kg

Gw4: 90kg

Gw5: 80kg

Gw6:70kg

Gw7: 60kg

Ugw: 55kg

God seeing it written down makes it feel even harder.

I just need to keep strong, keep under 500cals every day and I should get there, I would love it to be this year but I expect it'll take until next year.

I would love some friends to help push each other along.

[dizzylard]

Feeling really hungry, I'm doing some sewing to take my mind off it. I can eat at 5 with the kids.

Doing a chicken curry today.

Will be about 350 cals, I'm thinking I might just have green veg again instead. Hate the idea of all those calories.

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Felt so much like binging after being so disappointed after weighing.

But gave my head a wobble and figured I just need to buckle down harder. So I've had a cup of green veg for dinner (approx 150 cals)

Went for a walk and burnt 271 cals

proud of myself for not giving in to the negative voices.

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I'm so peeved!

Just went down to the local boots store to weigh myself and I weigh 1.2kg MORE than I did at easter, when I used my in-laws scales to weigh myself.

It's so stupid. I know I've lost weight, my clothes are looser, my measurements are down but because that scale says I'm heavier my brain is like "you pig!" 😢😢

[dizzylard]

I'm really worried about loose skin. So far it's OK, but as I lose more that could all change.

Anyone lost a lot of weight and have tips to prevent this?

I know losing weight slowly is meant to help but that is not an option. I've tried losing weight slowly the conventional way, it doesn't work.

Omad works. But it's quick. Not eating works. But it's quick. I can't do a ton of exercise thanks to cfs, fibromyalgia, torn rotor cuff, slipped discs and spinal stenosis. I do swim and walk daily though.

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proud of my Omad eating today. Hubby cooked.

I had half a beef burger, no bun or sauce. Some lettuce, cucumber and baby tomatoes probably half a cup. 4 oven chips.

Feeling good, not full and bloated which is great.

I am freezing cold though. Also keep getting low body temperature, was 34.5ºc earlier. Is this common?

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I felt hungry earlier so I left the kids with hubby and took the dog for a walk to take my mind off it.

Told my bestie that I'd lost 3 stone (she lives 300 miles away, we recently moved away from there). She is super proud of me 🎉

Hoping to get some scales next week so I can keep an eye on weight changes.

If anyone wants to cheer each other on, that would be great.

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I've just eaten my meal for today, half a potato, 50g chicken, 2 tablespoons veg(carrot, green beans and leek) and gravy. I feel too full and sick now.

I think I need to have smaller dinner portions now my stomach has shrunk a bit.