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encouraging bad girl behavior on tumblr because being a himejoshi is more important

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I am once again asking to not be used as a pawn in a nearly twenty year old divorce

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I could have signed on for the good apartment, been in my job and living where I need to be rn but NOOOoooOoOoOooOOOo, ever perfect mother dearest insisted that I take the little house near the town centre, is it what I wanted, not really, is it fire safe, yes but only if climbing out a small non fire safe bathroom window is, am I going to be ok in the place that I'm not even sure has a washing machine, I don't know because I have fuck all choice in the matter.

I am a goddam adult but I'm not even trusted to say: "I prefer the other place and do not want to live in the tiny shit hole" because it contradicts the story she has made up in her head about me falling in love with the place at first sight (I said I liked the smell as there was a Yankee candle wax burner on during the viewing) and the scary tenants at the other place (van outside with stickers) and how they were "too eager" to give me the place (we were searching for two months)

She screamed in my face when I asked to accept the modern apartment as they called

Five days earlier

To accept me as the tenant, I missed their call as I was preparing for an important event and she told them to WAIT UNTIL MONDAY, why? Because she wanted the other one, and she just didn't like the apartment and I'm supposed to blindly trust her as she's my mother. I wasn't allowed to call them, when I told others they told me to tell her I wanted that one, that led to the argument where she screamed in my face that loudly that someone hearing impaired wearing headphones could still hear from up a flight of stairs, I'm furious, I was made to reject the other place I wanted after she borderline stalked the letting agent for the one she wanted, i was scared to speak up this whole time and I'm pissed at myself.

I was talking to someone who worked in a safety priority heavy job most of their working career and when talking about the layout, they said that it most likely is not fire safe due to the placement of the stair in the property, this being the person that can probably quote entire handbooks on fire safety property planning, I trust them and went to my mother about my concerns, she's now claiming that they're planting seeds of doubt into my head because she saw the property and liked it and that they're only saying this because they prefer the other property. THEY KNOW THEIR SHIT MUM, LISTEN TO OTHERS FOR ONCE. I asked if we could at least ask the letting agent for a fire safety check or for proof that the building plans were in line with modern fire safety protocol but she kept coming back at me with "but such and such house was like this" with examples that were barely relevant to what I was concerned about. I got her to agree to it finally but it took forever.

I've been going along with her on this until now as I didn't want to start anything and just do the work and get out but now I know I could be at increased risk I'm afraid, I don't know if I want to live there now.

I'm just sick of the dick measuring contests between these two, I'm just tired of all of it really.

Only one of my friends knows that she's acting like this and that's because they accidentally witnessed a "talk" I had with her earlier (she talked at me while I just asked to email the letting agent, they witnessed it because they had just called beforehand and I didn't have time to turn off the call), I have others that love her but don't see this because she is great at acting for others.

Even growing up I would talk about something she did that wasn't good and instead of believing me it would just be "no we've met her, she's so lovely, you shouldn't be saying that about her, *blank has actual problems with their mum" I'm not friends with those ones anymore.

I'm just tired and want to feel safe in wherever I have to stay

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I fucking hate microbiology, it doesn't click in my head, I can't get my head around any of this shit

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Me: "I have an exam soon and must study so I don't fail

Parent: "Are you ready for your regular

Unnecessary interruption"

They decided to clear out the area I was studying in while I was trying to study so I had to stop what I was doing to put random shit into piles

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Parent: "I have bagged up belongings you cherish and want to throw them out because I see them as childish"

Me: "I am an adult and don't want you to throw out my belongings that I cherish"

Parent: "I think you're a hoarder"

Parent when I get angry:

They and another relative keep trying to get me to throw my stuff away, I just want to keep my stuff, I'm literally trying to move out, you won't have to put up with it soon

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Also fuck the renting market

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Found out the place I went to interview at was also a slaughter house, so was ill prepared when they said, "you ready for the kill floor?"

No but I need a job

I was congratulated afterwards for not fainting