𓈒 ₒᵣ Kiki 𓂃⏦She/He/It౨᭪˳ taken -> 03.21.23 𓈒⏝⏝࡛⏝☁️⏝࡛⏝⏝
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“Are you okay”
Idk im barley convinced I’m alive
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Of all the times to miss that asshole my brain chooses now.
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I'd let myself bleed out if it meant you'd stare at me.
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#actually bpd#bpd#bpd blog#bpd system#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd vent#bpd feels#bpd splitting
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If God was really as good of a being as people make him out to be I would've never been born at all.
Or at the least I wouldn't have lived this long.
#꩜damned.soul#why couldn't I just have gotten aborted#or been a miscarriage#I hate myself and I hate my life#actually bpd#bpd#bpd blog#bpd system#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd vent#bpd feels#bpd splitting
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I want him to call me pretty.
I want him to want me.
I want to be his.
I feel like nothing right now. I don't feel important. I feel unwanted and unloved. I feel ugly and horrid. Why won't he love me why what did I do wrong. Why isn't he obsessed with me?
I feel like a wilting flower under the blazing hot sun.
I feel like I'm fucking dying why doesn't he love me
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#actually bpd#bpd#bpd blog#bpd system#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd vent#bpd feels#bpd splitting
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Maybe if I mutilate myself for him he'll love me.
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#tw mention of sh#tw self destructive thoughts#actually bpd#bpd#bpd blog#bpd system#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd stuff
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Two days.
GONE FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS.
This is sooo amazingggggg ahahhhshss I love that he just dipped for two days ahhshsbshsb
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#actually bpd#bpd#bpd blog#bpd system#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd stuff
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I HATE MY BOYFRIEND.....!.!:!!:!:!:!:!!:!/&8/8/82837
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#I love him sooo much#that right now I can't help but hate him#bpd splitting#bpd vent#bpd#bpd system#actually bpd#bpd blog#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd stuff
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Fuck you I can be happy on my own.
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Hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me
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I DONT CARE. I do not care.
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I don't know what to say and eveyrhtung I do say makes it all worse. I don't want to stop talking to him. I don't want to stop talking to him because I'm selfish. I'm a selfish shit who can't let him go when he needs it. I cling to him even if it means I'll drag us both down. I'm such a fuckijg shithole.
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#actually bpd#bpd#bpd blog#bpd system#bpd thoughts#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd stuff
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I may not hurt everyone in my life but I know I hurt him and he matters the most.
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#I only don't hurt the others cause we barely talk#since I talk to him the most#he has to deal with my worst the most#he shouldn't have to.
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I'm no good for him.
#꩜damned.soul#꩜moon.altar#the one time we actually talk on call#and he just ends up in trouble and upset#just fucking kill me
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SCREAMS.
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I feel so fucking sick.
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