TEXT POST STARTERS II
a collection of quotes and quips from popular internet posts. change & alter as needed.
“I’ll be in my secret lab, gradually going insane and playing god.”
“I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.”
“I’m about to cha-cha real smooth off a fucking cliff.”
“I’m majoring in making my life a living hell at idiot university.”
“I’m proud of you hits harder than crack.”
“Is my human suffering sexy enough for you, God? Is it getting you off, king?”
“It’s my god-given bisexual right to be dramatic.”
“Just found out my entire personality is a trauma response.”
“Kinda gay to make a wanted poster… why do you want that man? So you can hold him?”
“Leave me alone. I was literally made in a lab.”
“Losers try to tell me I emit ‘nuclear radiation’. Like, that’s my vibe, idiot.”
“Mad scientists will be like ‘I know a place’, and then strap you onto the autopsy table.”
“Might fuck around and become a false prophet.”
“My idealized version of you would’ve never said that.”
“My off-putting looks, awkward demeanor, and strange behavior have captivated you.”
“My skills include being a sleepyhead and a sweetie pie.”
“Not wearing a lab coat so the other scientists know I’m a whore.”
“Okay, yes, I may be evil and morally corrupt, but I’m also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it, honestly.”
“Part of my creative process is going insane for three hours.”
“Remember to drink a fucking shit-ton of water every miserable day of your life, loser.”
“Say this with me. Manifest it. Make it real. I am not harmed by fire or explosives. Say that out loud. Remember it. The only thing that’s stopping you is your own head. Never stop grinding.”
“The sluttiest thing a man can do is love and cherish his cat.”
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text message prompts
[text] You okay?
[text] GO TO BED!
[text] hey you better be alive in there
[text] SOS save me please holy shit
[text] call me this date is going so bad
[text] I have way too much shit to do.
[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.
[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?
[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).
[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.
[text] It's not going to work out.
[text] This is a terrible idea.
[text] people have fetishes
[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh
[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you
[text] That movie was awful.
[text] For the love of god please help me
[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.
[text] I'm blocking you.
[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH
[text] I regret swiping right.
[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.
[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.
[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil
[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride
-
[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up
[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain
[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.
[text] have you gotten any work done?
[text] I am beyond shame, try again
[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.
[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.
[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted
[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall
[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky
[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.
[text] Jealous of my massive honkers
[text] We left you to die to play minecraft
[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats
[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.
[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit
[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.
[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?
[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk
[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?
[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.
[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?
[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!
[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?
[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet
[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person
[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.
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[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.
[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.
[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.
[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.
[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.
[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..
[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.
[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.
[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.
[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.
[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.
[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.
[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.
[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?
[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.
[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.
[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!
[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.
[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?
[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?
[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.
[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.
[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.
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spell out your url using characters you love from any media. then, tag as many people as there are letters in your url (or however many you'd like!) inspired by the song titles dashboard game.
d - D.eath of the E.ndless DC/Vertigo Comics
o - O.stara, American Gods
y - Yzma, Emperor's New Groove
o - Ogura Jinpatchi, Please Save My Earth
u - U.chiha Sasu.ke, Na.ruto
h - Hell.o Ki.tty
a - A.nakin Skywalker, S.tar Wa.rs
t - T.oph Bei.fong, AtL.A
e - Enju, Please Save My Earth
t - T.odd, Jason, DC
h - Harl.ey Q.uinn, DC
e - É.owyn, Lot.R
g - Gro.gu, The Manda.lorian
l - Le.x L.uthor, DC
a - Alexiel, Angel Sanctuary
s - Steve R.ogers, M.arvel
s- Sa.mwise G.amgee, Lot.R
e -Emma Fr.ost, M.arvel
s - Su.perman, DC [i had to, okay]
tagged by: @invidentius
tagging; if you want to hate your url, feel free to steal it and tag me
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"you're a horrible liar."
PROMPTS FOR LIES, DECEIT, AND SOME VILLAINY || accepting
The smile on his face falls instantly at the blunt calling out.
"Well, we can't all be as good at it as you, I guess." Which, wildly unfair and Clark knows that. He was the one to lie first, and even with what secrets he has kept, Lex still holds the better slate.
He cringes at his own words, then sighs. "I didn't come to argue. Or even... About any of that. I just..." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, sliver wrapped box with a thin purple bow around it and sets it on the coffee table.
"It- it really did get mixed up in shipping stuff. I didn't- I wasn't lying about that. I- Sorry. It's- I know it's not- not much or enough to make up for- I- Whatever. Um. Belated Happy Christmas, I guess?"
@invidentius
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