20 yrs old Midwestern vampireAlso follow for sideblogs 🐾
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I've lost like three and a half pounds in the last two days because of the work heat PLEASE let me escape 150s jail by this weekend
#Only a few more PLEAASEEE i promise ill keep it iff#ed blr#ftm ed#actually bpd#@na motivation#actually did#actually mentally ill#please#amen
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It will be at least 110 at work today and if they don't give us heat breaks I'll kms
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my roommates when they dont give me room to communicate and then act like ive done something wrong for not being able to communicate 😨😨
#talking to me like i hit u for saying 'i know' the wrong way 💀💀#youre the one who kept interrupting me over something exceedingly simple?#Note i have to keep my mouth shut every single time she chooses to do worse than this#Because otherwise her AND her bf gang up on me#and then wonder why i dont say shit and just walk away
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Sister taught me what Idubbz is today and I'm like . Amazed
#I was shown like#two videos#and managed to finally understand like#Five major memes that everyonr in school used to say 💀💀
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roommates basically ignored me for 2 hours and then went to their room to be alone without saying a single word to me about it i have no clue why they expect me to go to them abt things when thats their daily
#i get theyre dating but its lowkey pointless to call me ur brother if u just text eachother in front of me#lowkey exclude me#and then just go sit together#at least i have liquor atp cus i dont feel like being upset anymore#they love doing this when im having the worst days ever#and then acting entitled and spoiled about it all
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my brain has been so absolutely horrible to me today and it's crazy work that nothing is appeasing it
#Im doing everything im told to do#And it just does not do a single thing#i am tired and so upset and overstimulated#i never cry and yet im so close to it .
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can tell my obsession w weighing myself is getting to a point cus no way i shld be doing it 4+ times a day at this point
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sister has dedicated time and effort to healthily losing weight and im proud because shes trying to help her joint issues but i feel horrific about the amount of competitiveness thats about to spark in me .
#It might get so bad they find out and thats not a convo im ready to have#they take me harming myself so seriously and i get no clue why
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might go to the gym and just kind of go until failure after im out of work i miss going so bad
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moved my scale to my bedroom bc my bathroom isnt level enough and its been over weighing me by such a good portion im so
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i am so tired of having to eat so I dont pass out all we have is food with way too many calories cus I live with normal people
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overly excited to lose the next 7 pounds or so cus that wld finally put me at having lost 100 pounds in the last like year n a half . Manifesting this for myself amen
#After my family keeps trying to make me eat id say its not horrific#But im impatient and want to be unrecognizable
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I feel SO abhorrently ugly and dysphoric and not-perceivable today what if I did it
#I do NOT know what i look like#so HOW can I feel ugly .#Im just saying i deserve to look normal#while also looking like a dude just like any dude
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Y'all think i'll ever be able to act like a human being around others without managing to monumentally fuck it up and give up
#socially isolating myself on and off the internet is crazy#Im just saying i dont think i deserve friends or love until i can act normal#And not autistic and head injured
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i can see ur going thru it today, just know ur not screaming into a void. i see u and i hope ur day gets better 🫶
PLEAASSEEE Y'all are always so sweet when i start posting fuckass stuff online . Thank you pookie ☹️☹️
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i feel maybe my life would be better if i did not perceive myself or feel feelings or love people more than they are capable of loving me (or loving them at all amen)
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