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baby purples martins have paused their slopping to

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hi guys i was in jail but then the guards felt bald for me because i’m so handsome & special so they helped me escape. hope that’s ok

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Roomba kept crying because she couldn't find her spring toy and uh. Well, she had a good reason for it.

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joints will see you taking a step & be like "i bet i could improve on this with my Cool New Trick." & theyre wrong

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fandom is really cool actually sometimes you meet people that just fuckin rule and it's because you both want the same two fictional women to kiss on the mouth

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"We're living through the ongoing fascist collapse of the United States but I still gotta clean the kitchen and go to work tomorrow" sure is the mood right now, huh.

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one of my grandparents’ kittens taking a nap inside a toy truck

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lets play wordle _____