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we are so back
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why did nobody warn me about how being in a healthy relationship makes you gain weight
#he's not even my bf its a friends with tension thing#but still wtf#ive only lost 6lb in like 3 months#tw#tw depressing thoughts#vent#tw 3d vent#βving#light as a feather#tw mia#tw skipping meals#tw m1a#m1a#4n4rexia#4n0rexic#4n@diary#idk#ed tw#ed not ed sheeran
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Iβm so fat Iβm a literal imposter on this app.
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It's hard to explain but sometimes I feel like I am waisting my best years being fat. I'll never be a teenager again and how can I just allow myself to feel this way for the whole year? I want to be thin, live unworried about my body, enjoy this years. Sometimes I look back at events I shouldve enjoyed that i'll never go back to, I wasted them feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. It's sad. All those beach trips, they weren't supposed to be the hell they felt like.
I want to get skinnier to be able to enjoy life.
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This feels like a religion more than an e4ting d1s9rder, everyone talking to "ana" asking to be thinner and listening to what she's telling us(including me)
We sound more like a bunch of Schizophrenics then 4nor3x1c ππ
But I'm lowkey here for it, ana is more fun than half people I know. Everyone is just so fucking boring
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Pants getting loose is so fun but also unsettling like wdym I used to be fat enough to fit into those?
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that part of having an ed where nobody likes you because you're always angry and thinking about food
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how it feels r3stricting on your period:

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"but being skinny won't solve your problems" being fat IS my problem what are you talking about
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im so fat I actually can't live with myself anymore it's all I ever think about I just wanna kill myself
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