dylanbarnes

[dylanbarnes]

Jack 2in1 Pack n Play Prosthetic Review

This is my first review! I decided to do a review because I have tried a few prosthetics and packing underwear now and have some thoughts, and thought it might be helpful to share.

So here it goes!

I just got the Jack 2in1 prosthetic. 

It is basically a stroker for trans men, and a packer. The reason why I say stroker for transmen and not all men, is because it was definitely made for transmen specifically because the hole is about 1/2 inch diameter, which is perfect for transmen who have growth.

I’ve tried a stroker before made for both transmen and cis men called “the pill” and it was pretty good, but it eventually broke after around 10 uses. And the hole was really big which made it kind of hard to use, and hard to get the suction to work. So I found myself wondering what a smaller hole could do. 

I found the Jack 2in1 on the Rodeoh site when I was looking for some packing underwear, which I will also write a review on, my thoughts about good packing underwear.

I have been unhappy with my packers in the past because of different reasons. I recently got the Mr. Limpy small 3.5 inch packer, which was working great, in comparison to my last few packers because it was easier to pack with and looked more realistic in my pants, not super bulky. The packers I have used in the past that are bigger than 4 inches look very bulky and are hard to pack with. I personally don’t like having a huge bulk in my pants as I find it distracting. 

So the Mr. Limpy was working great along with the boxer briefs I had from Rodeoh that were for packing/stp. I like the combo of those because the packer hangs perfectly where I want it to, creating the perfect bulge.

I only had one pair of the briefs and I eventually got tired of the briefs as I don’t really like briefs and I prefer boxers. So I decided to buy just packing boxers from rodeoh. The Mr. Limpy fit differently in the packing boxers as opposed to the stp/packing briefs. I found that it didn’t hang as low as I wanted, possibly because the stp ones hang lower so you can actually use it to pee. 

I wanted to see how the jack 2in1 stroker would work as a packer so I tried putting them in the packing boxers, with the balls at the very bottom and the shaft pointing up. I found that it worked perfectly. The jack 2in1 is only 3 inches which is kind of small but I found that with packing it works really well, you personally know it’s there but it doesn’t create a huge bulge in your pants. And it’s exciting that you can use it with someone else or by yourself on the go, and you don’t just have a limp soft thing that is kind of useless or only for peeing, in your pants. 

As a stroker I think it works really well with the suction and sensation, and the realism, even though it is really small, I find it helps with dysphoria more than say a big blue thing like the pill.

So I think it’s perfect for a packer and a personal stroker.

 As just a stroker and not packing, it’s a little small looking, and using it with someone else it’s definitely small. But for packing it’s really perfect. And you can’t use it to penetrate, but that wasn’t to be expected. 

I’m going to do a review of packing underwear next, and I’m going to add pictures to this post soon. I am ordering the a pair of truhk boxers stp/packer from rodeoh to see how they compare to the other packing/stp underwear I have. 

[dylanbarnes]

Transbucket - Post-op Pictures and Information for Trans Folks

Hey friends,

I found this amazing website today and wanted to share it:

Transbucket.com

For pictures of ftm and mtf post-op surgeries, with surgeon information and details.

You can create an account for free to view all information.

I find it super informative and helpful!

[dylanbarnes]

Live Theater and Its Ability To Evoke Change

I went to a live theater show with my friend in Los Angeles. 

The show was free and they were accepting donations for ACLU, which I just found out about that night. 

Here is a link to find out more about ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union): https://www.aclu.org/about/aclu-history

I don’t know much about them but I know they are a liberal organization that has attorneys that defend people in court to help them fight government abuse, and much more.

And that they are a part of the resistance. 

The people who came raised over 300$, which for a small theater show, I thought was pretty incredible.

It was a really inspiring performance overall. People got on stage and talked about their real experiences and struggles in a monologue style. 

As a trans person myself it was refreshing to see a trans person come on stage and talk about their experiences. 

It made me feel less alone. 

And this reminded me of the time that I went to a comedy show recently at the UCB theater on Franklin, in LA, and the person who opened was a trans woman. 

Each time I came home from these performances I felt this sense of feeling less alone and feeling inspired.

A lot of the time I am panicked with anxiety that I will be discriminated against because of my identity when it comes to doing what I love to do. 

And these instances of seeing people who are like me in positions of success in what they like to do, is so in a way relieving and reassuring. 

Everyone’s stories were so amazing to hear, and it reminded me of why theater is so life changing and such an important art form. 

If you read this please feel free to comment on any experiences you have had with live theater or what it has been like for you in terms of doing what you love and worrying about discrimination in the process. I would love to open this post up to discussion and to connect with others with it.

[dylanbarnes]

This is so accurate! 

A new name might feel weird at first, but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong name for you! 

[dylanbarnes]

Just remembering this message today and everyday. You are not a burden. You deserve love and happiness.

[dylanbarnes]

Finally got my License!

I finally got it in the mail! It feels so great to finally have one of the missing pieces of my officially legal documents that represents my true gender identity. 

It was such a pain in the butt, but! I’m so glad that I have it. 

I was in a restaurant in the other day and someone ID’d me because I ordered Sangria and I was like, sure you can see my ID! It was a very proud moment for me. Honestly though, it’s so nice to not have to say, “this is my old ID, and I’m getting my new one soon”, or “that’s my old name”. 

One thing that I did that was really helpful is that I went to the DMV before I had my name change and I just got a new picture, so that at least the picture looked like me. And so people would sometimes look at my name, but most people just look at the date and don’t look at the name so that made it really easy, and I highly suggest doing that! 

Please write if you have any questions or need any help, I’m here to help anyone that I needs it and I will read the comments and respond as quickly as I can! 

Thanks for reading. 

[dylanbarnes]

How To Legally Change Your Name and Gender in 2017 in the state of California: For Trans Identifying Individuals Part II

So, upon applying to companies like Uber and Lyft I found that my DMV check was not going through and I still haven’t received my actual physical Driver’s License yet after almost three weeks of waiting. 

I decided to go to the DMV to check out why I had a lock on my drivers record and it was because they claimed that I had not “turned in” my DMV form with a physicians signature or my court decree gender and name change. 

First of all, I did turn in that DMV form, and second of all, they asked to see the court decree but did not actually take it. 

So then I figured out that I had forgotten to initial some small box on the DMV form, and that they actually DID need my court decree! How frustrating! 

So now I have to wait for them to mail me back the form so I can initial and send back to them my court decree. 

And then I have to wait another week to get the physical Driver’s License, and have the hold taken off so that I can drive with Lyft or Uber. 

So..nothing seems to take a short amount of time, so make sure that you prepare for things like this to happen and give yourself a month or two to complete the process of getting a new ID or document.

[dylanbarnes]

How To Legally Change Your Name and Gender in 2017 in the state of California: For Trans Identifying Individuals

I just pretty much successfully changed my name and gender on almost every legal document except for my birth certificate. 

I am an FTM trans man and I wanted to share this in case it could be helpful for anyone going through the same process. You will probably learn as you go, like I did, but I thought maybe it could provide some support along the way if needed.

First: Everyone will tell you different information, or not tell you the information you needed. 

That is why I am writing about this, because I want to share my journey.

1. Getting a Court Order ($450)

You have to start by getting a court ordered name and gender change. You do this by getting all of the court papers required and going to a local courthouse. I found the court papers here: http://www.courts.ca.gov/25797.htm

Then you go to your local courthouse and in California it costs about $450 for your court ordered name and gender change. There is a waive fee application you can fill out but you might have to pay that expensive fee. 

You wait in line and you hand in your paperwork, where they will correct it if there are any errors, and then you get a court date. You can mail in your paperwork and get a court date mailed back to you, but I thought it would be easier to just go to the courthouse. I preferred it because the person I handed the paperwork to fixed any issues and I got my court date right there and then.

You most likely do not have to show up for your court date, they will decide if you do or don’t and you can check online at a specific date before the court date.

I did not have to show up to mine. When I went to the courthouse, it was November of 2016, and I was a little bit panicked to get my name changed for a few reasons, this was right after the election. Well, I thought, I’ll get a court date and it will be next month and it will be quick. It wasn’t however, I got my court date for February, 2017, which was about four months away. So if you are in a rush to change your name, factor in that it could take four months to get your legal court date. 

Once a decision has been made on the day of your court date, it will take about a week for the court to file your paperwork and then you can go in and pick up your legal name and gender change! yay. You should call them first and ask them when it will be ready for you to pick up because you don’t want to go to the court and not be able to get it. 

You go to the court, and you have to have your case number, which they will give to you online, or you can look it up when you are there. Then they will print you a copy of your court decree for name and gender change, which is one page, and it costs $25 to get the official seal of approval, which you NEED to change your other documents. You should, if you can, get about three copies of this decree with the official seal, which will cost you $75. Or just get one and see how far you can get with it, but you probably will have to go back and get another one. I had two printed in total.

2. US Passport (~$200)

I changed my US Passport next because I wanted to travel somewhere, it was a mistake that I waited until the last moment, never do that in general.

 What I learned about changing your name and gender on your US Passport: 

Do NOT go to the post office to get this done. There are usually long lines and you won’t get your passport for like two to three weeks if you pay for the most expensive expedited shipping, and it’s not worth it.

DO go to a Passport office, these are different than the passport sections at the post office, they are specifically just for Passports, and you can make an appointment. You have to make an appointment a few weeks in advance to get one, then you go in and you get a new passport within days. It will probably cost about $200. I paid a little over that because I went to a post office and I paid for the fastest expedited shipping. 

I tried to go to a passport office after the post office because what happened was that they told me I could submit a copy of my Physicians letter, but they were wrong and I had to mail them an original copy. You can not go to a passport office once you have already submitted your passport application elsewhere. So I just ended up having to wait about a month to get it, and I missed my trip.

IMPORTANT: every document you send in with your application has to be the original.

What you need for your US passport:

- A copy of your Driver’s License, front and back

- A small passport photo of you that you can get at CVS or Walgreens, or any of those kinds of stores

- An original copy of your Physicians statement

- An original copy of your court decree legal name and gender change

- A copy of your social security card: I can’t remember if you need this but just to be safe

- A Passport application, they will give you one when you go to your appointment or wherever you end up going

3. Social Security Card (Free?)

IMPORTANT: You MUST change your social security card before you change your Drivers License, it is a REQUIREMENT. Do not go to the DMV before you have proof of changing it otherwise you must go to a Social Security Office and get it changed.

You have to go to a Social Security Office with your:

- old social security card

- court decree name and gender change original

- new passport

- just to be safe bring your old DL and a photocopy of it, an original physicians statement, and photocopy of your passport

Sometimes the people helping me would ask me to see additional paperwork that wasn’t listed online that I would need, and I figured out that some people ask for different paperwork, so just make sure you have all your copies and original copies with you in a file or folder just in case.

I think that is all you need. You go to the office, get a number and wait to be called. Then say you are changing your name on your social security card and they will help you.

They did not charge me, and so I think it is free. It is the only free thing on this list of items you have to change. *sigh*

Then they will give you a piece of paper that is basically a receipt, or a temporary social security card, that says you have changed it and are waiting for it to be mailed. They will mail it to you within a week or two. Mine came quickly within about a week.

4. Drivers License or ID card ($27-35)

Take the form you got from the social security office with you, you will need this, they just want to see that you have done it.

 If you don’t do the social security card first you cannot change your DL because they told me when they go to look up your name in the system and they can’t find it on your SSC, then it will be reported as fraud and they won’t change your DL.

And who wants to go back to the DMV three times? I did. Well, I didn’t, but I had to and that was really frustrating to me, because I did so much online research AND met with someone at the LGBT center who was a social worker and trans and she was helping me.

In order to change your name and gender on your DL, you need to get a physician to sign a special form that you get from the DMV. I went to the DMV and got the form, but maybe there is a way that they can mail it to you if you go on their website and find out. My local LGBT center also had the forms and I requested they fill the form out and mail it to me, you can also do this. 

They charged me about $27 to get my new DL. The price seems to vary and could be up to $35.

What you will need:

- DL name and gender physician form

- original copy of physicians statement, they asked me to see this document even though it wasn’t listed that you do need it, just bring it with you

- original copy of court decree name and gender change - same as above

- DL new License form, you will get this form at the DMV

- old license - they took my old license from me, which is fine, but I thought it was weird, it must be something they do now

- Social security card receipt - they just want to see it

- bring your passport with you just in case, it’s good to have an ID with you that has your new name and gender, it made me feel secure to bring it with me

If you can, make an appointment at the DMV it will go a lot faster. If you go at odd times and don’t make an appointment that will also make it faster. 

5. Birth Certificate

This is pending for me and seems to be the document that I am least worried about changing in a certain amount of time.

The reason the other ones are so important is because of jobs, applications, traveling, and more.

But mostly for me because of jobs. In general I don’t want to be working for a company that is not trans friendly, but also, I don’t want to be discriminated against during the hiring process. I thought that it would be better to have updated ID documents, it would make it less awkward and a smoother process.

I did have a job before I changed my ID’s, and it was an awkward thing where I had to tell them, this is my birth name, but I am in the process of changing my name. And “I go by Dylan”. They understood I was trans, but there was some confusion at first and then they got it. Luckily I had a really trans friendly group of co workers and employers so it was not too bad. 

Changing your ID’s is a very expensive process. For all of your important ID’s not including your Birth Certificate you should allot up to:

$760

I wrote this because I was told so many different things in this process and had to go back and forth to the DMV three times and it was honestly such an irritating process. So I wanted to share my process in the hopes that maybe it will help someone else's process go a little bit smoother.