earthfirewind

[earthfirewind]

[earthfirewind]

[earthfirewind]

Northern Downpour

If all our life is but a dream

Fantastic posing greed

Then we should feed our jewelery to the sea

For diamonds do appear to be

Just like broken glass to me

And then she said she can’t believe

Genius only comes along

In storms of fabled foreign tongues

Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs

Northern downpour sends its love

Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don’t you go down

Sugarcane in the easy mornin’

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

The ink is running toward the page

It’s chasin’ off the days

Look back at both feet

And that winding knee

I missed your skin when you were east

You clicked your heels and wished for me

Through playful lips made of yarn

That fragile Capricorn

Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves

I know the world’s a broken bone

But melt your headaches, call it home

Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don’t you go down

Sugarcane in the easy mornin’

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

Sugarcane in the easy mornin’

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

Sugarcane in the easy mornin’

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

Sugarcane in the easy mornin’

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

Sugarcane in the easy mornin’

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)

The easy (hey moon) mornin’

Weather-vanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)

One (hey moon) and lonely

Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don’t you go down

You are at the top of my lungs

Drawn to the ones who never yawn

[earthfirewind]

[earthfirewind]

Learning how to be kind to myself is the hardest skill I have come across

[earthfirewind]

Coming back to reality is amazing

Everything clicks

It all makes sense again

All of the pain I felt

The same worries, none of them changing

Every thought

Takes over then subsizes

All of the pain is gone

Coming back to reality is amazing

[earthfirewind]

[earthfirewind]

[earthfirewind]

Religion could've been such a good thing but so much of it just went horribly, horribly wrong...

[earthfirewind]

There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so do not expect yourself to do so.

[earthfirewind]

A little kindness in life never hurt anyone. I’m not telling you to not have boundaries and be stupidly nice and let people step all over you. I’m saying work hard, be kind to others, stand up for yourself/stand your ground and stay humble. You can be aware of your value and be humble, simultaneously. We are all humans - never look down on someone and think that you are better than someone else. We all crave acceptance and love. No matter how talented, rich, successful or educated you believe you are, how you treat people ultimately tells it all.

[earthfirewind]

Over the summer, I have work and I have friends but I also have sadness. After the long days that are filled with double shifts and smoking pot I have time to think. That's when I reflect, that's when I feel sad.

During the fall, I have work and I have friends, but I also have anxiety. Not stress, not pressure, full on anxiety. I always have anxiety but it is so amplified when I'm surrounded by people smarter than me, while I myself am failing constantly.

During the winter I have a break. If my breaks aren't filled with tasks those also bring me sadness. Nothing makes me happier than Christmas and my family. But if there's downtime then it is never good.

The spring is just a repeat of the fall and it's so painful because I know I'll have to do it again next year. It's all worth it but it's hard to keep my head up with the cold days. Then when it finally gets warm I can't enjoy it because I have exams.

Would I rather be anxious or depressed? I know that I am not depressed as a person, but I know that I've known what it feels like to want to lay motionless at the bottom of a swimming pool. I am an anxious person and it makes me crazy and warm and angry and it makes me feel like I'm constantly about to fall off a cliff, but it also makes me careful and makes me feel like I have a purpose.

Depression I think can be prevented for some, to an extent. It is definitely a chemical imbalance in the brain that some people can't help. But there's a point that some people if they pulled themselves out of bed and just started the fucking day would feel so much better.

"Oh no the sky is gray today, I am sad." The sky is fucking beautiful when it changes in storms. It's beautiful blue and pink and gray and every shade in between. It's under appreciated and people are looking for excuses to be sad.

Sad feels safe. Sad feels familiar. If you're lucky, sad gets people's sympathy and becomes an excuse robe lazy.

I promise you that trying to see the beauty in the sky is 50 times better than focusing on what it might feel like to feel nothing and ending your life before your beautiful body wanted.

Let your mind listen to your body. If your body feels groggy and tired, get it out of bed. A walk would make it feel better and maybe you'll see a dog. If you're hungry, get up and eat your favorite meal. Not junk food you'll only feel more shitty. If you feel like you're never accomplished enough, do a small project for a sense of accomplishment, then make a plan. If you feel bad about a grade, do the material until you master it and start learning your next class.

Too many of us let our mind and our mental sickness control us but we don't have to. Alwyas aim for happiness and if you're not happy at least you're by laying in bed wishing you were. You're actively trying your best.

[earthfirewind]

[earthfirewind]

Maybe me calming you down was the only way I've ever been able to not be angry. And maybe me cheering you up was the only way I've ever been able to prevent myself from spiraling into a depression. I probably should have focused more on my own feelings instead of worrying about other people's, because once they're happy, they're gone. Now I'm left with nothing to say to anyone, and with the weight of all of everyone's anger and sadness resting right on my shoulders as I stand and on my chest while I lay.

[earthfirewind]

Stability

If you’re looking for stability, please do not look for it in boys. You will start to rely on them, and more times than not they are going to be temporary. Dependence is an easy thing to develop. I depend on coffee, alcohol, but most of all his touch and his love. 

If you’re looking for stability, please find it in your desires and what will fulfill your life outside of romance.

[earthfirewind]