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New chapter on Satis!!!

Can't wait to read!

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update

sorry its taken me so long to complete the next set of notes. I still do intend to, and I have reread the Satis fanfic which has only fueled my passion for the story. I have brand new thoughts and, ugh, I can’t wait for the new chapter.

Anyway, notes are coming.

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Chapter 2, Part One Notes:

(Here we go! I work on rereading and writing these notes, then recording them into a post here as often as possible, so sorry if it takes a few days in between for an update here.)

It does seem Integra experiences death as she mentions a dark, cold, and being unable to move, see, or feel. 

unless this is time travel? if so, how does it work?

“Don’t leave me” is repeated and Integra remembers saying it once (though it seems its implying it was Seras who was speaking these words, though they’re also like echos in Integra’s mind.) - so is this Integra's subconscious that is replaying her feelings of Alucard leaving?

Integra realizes she had said these words once, then says “and yet, he had disappeared. And yet, he had left her.” - What does this mean for how Integra feels? Its clear she misses Alucard. But is she also angry, disappointed, crushed that he left her?

Integra mentions via thought that the few precious people to her fell like sand through her fingers.

“They told her they’d never leave her, and she believed them, trusted them... she carved their names into her heart and carved them deep.”

This shows just how much Integra truly loved everyone: Alucard, Seras, Walter. She misses them so much, and she’s finally allowing herself to feel.

Integra then feels she misplaced her trust.

In Walter, in Alucard? Even Seras? (I doubt). 

Does she feel this way because of how heart broken she is that they had left her? Because of how much she misses them? Does she truly even mean it?

Integra speaks of herself as an Iron Maiden, putting aside her broken heart to stand tall, dusting off her hands (of her emotions), and moving on.

“And she spent 3 decades of her life cleaning up stain after stain that would never truly fade and brushing aside shards after shards that would ever sting under the skin.” 

The stains refer to Walter and Alucard and her love for them, and how their leaving still stings her even after all this time. She’s tried to forget about them, but can’t. She’s tried to brush away her love and missing for them, but can’t.

Or are the stains that of her past, with the war?

Integra again mentions the house being a mausoleum and herself the keeper. 

When passing by a “certain door” (Alucard’s) She’d think if he felt the same when he was alone in his castle, or did he not feel at all?

What is the meaning behind mentioning this?

She says: “How dare you. How dare you leave me.” When she thinks of Alucard telling her farewell. Though she says she is no better, she had said goodbye, too.

This is further showing just how upset Integra is and how much she misses Alucard.

Integra says, internally, to Seras that she is finally free, yet Integra’s heart grows heavier.

Integra does not feel free, she still feels for them.

Then she says she loved Seras the most, loved her the best.

Shows her bond to Seras over the years.

Integra now, in the old dark space, sees missed chances things she never said, questions never asked.

This shows the regrets that are human nature to have.

Then (it seems) Integra does feel regret as she says (still internally) “Seras, Seras, what can I do? Its too late now.”

To late for her to not leave Seras? Or too late not to change how things were? Or to say the things never said.

She whispers: “Just like Alucard... late, always late. Too late.”

This seems to imply Integra feels she was too late to say what needed to be said, and too late to change her path from leaving. 

And, in her eyes, Alucard was too late in returning to Integra - as Seras said he would.

“Its other name was Satis, which is Greek or Latin, or Hebrew, or all three. -or all one to me - for enough.” -Estella, Great Expectations. 

This! “Satis” is the other name for death! 

Integra does not die then? She - her old body (maybe?) is just in a satis. But how? Why?

Chapter name is “Auld Lang Syne”. Which means “times gone by”. An old folk song.

Integra - for every day for half a century - had risen with the sun.

Integra seems to wake up with thoughts from her normal, old schedule, in the same usual fashion, (The schedule of her 15 y.o. self?) but feels she is unable to “banish this particular dream.”

I'll continue these notes in the next post.

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Chapter 1, Part Two Notes:

(oop, sorry for the delay. I ended up taking a lot of notes for this chapter.)

Integra replies (to Pip) that what Pip is calling “love” was not love she was feeling, but “duty, senility, foresight, and utter nonsense”.

Integra repeats the word love (She’s so hooked on that word) and ignores “The way her heart contracted, the heat behind her eye (left eye), the trembling of her hands, the inaudible sob in her breath.”

These, to me, all are signs that she is hiding her feelings, yet cannot escape them.

Why does she not admit them, even now, so near to the end?

Integra then says the day she admits love is her funeral. 

Though she’s already told us today is her last day, so she’ll admit her feelings? (be it love or whatever else) 

Pip states this, that her funeral is today, according to her. Integra reacts negatively, via yelling at Pip to “get out” and brother someone else. As well as kicking the wall.

This shows us how she reacts to being called out on emotions.

In reaction, Pip says “Who’s the one in denial now��� 

This states to us that Integra is in denial of her feelings.

Its written that Integra hears Pip’s words lingering in her ears even after he’s done talking.

So it sticks with her, what he said. She can’t easily ignore it. That has to show just how deep her feelings are.

Integra then gets lost in “memorium” of her house as she walks. “She was not really aware of where she was going.”  But she reaches it and crosses her arms when she approached the door of the dungeons. 

Does she cross her arms in annoyance?

What actually leads her there? Her subconscious? Her desire to see Alucard one last time? Her hope that maybe he might be there?

Was she going to say goodbye?

To express her feelings to Alucard?

What if he was there? How would that change things? (considering I read this before, I doubt she would have told him)

Integra goes to Alucard’s door and calls out “Count”.

This is the first time she addresses him without referring to him as “him”.

Also, she still does not call him by his name. Why?

Why does she use the title count?

In the books, does she actually call him Count before he returns and calls her Countess? (From what I recall, its not said before? Maybe when he reverts to his count dracula form.)

There is no answer at the door.

So Integra remains hopeful after 30 years.

Integra blames Seras for making her a romantic and singing “just a little longer”.

Integra still doesn’t fully admit her feelings for Alucard. At least, she feels another is to blame for making her feelings lasting so long and she remaining hopeful. 

“Forcefully fan a flame that would have and should have burnt out long since otherwise.”

Integra turns to leave and that is when her body decides to give out - in front of Alucard’s door.

Why that particular place?

Why that particular time?

Was it her sickness, or her broken heart?

Would she have done so if Alucard was there?

Seras, after getting to Integra, still believes everything will be fine, but Integra disagrees and perhaps pities/feels bad for Seras in that she will not see the truth.

As Seras leaves with Integra, phasing through the ceilings, they leave “the locked room with the empty coffin behind.”

Why state this? To show that Alucard truly isn’t there?

Integra feels like Death is like “retiring after a great wearisome day.” She fancied both cold and warm and smelled daisies.

Daisies seem to be a key factor.

Seras cries (blood tears), says Integra was doing so well and thought she would make it. 

So what caused Integra to decline so quickly health wise?

Does Seras mean to make it through her sickness, or through till Alucard returned?

Seras offers to drink Integra’s blood (possibly to let Integra exist within Seras like Pip does)

As Seras cannot change Integra into a vampire (the rule implies opposite sex of the vampire and virgins)

Integra claims Seras is not that cruel or stupid to drink her blood. Integra feels dying is her destiny - dying as a Hellsing, as a human.

(In the beginning of the chapter) “Death is the endgame of all beings, and those who proclaim themselves immortal are mere escapists: running, running, as behind them the hooded figure walks, sharpening his scythe.” 

Reliance to the previous poem. And to the note above in why Integra would feel she needs to die a human - otherwise she is merely escaping her destiny.

Seras brings up she never lied about “Master” coming back. And asks if Integra won’t even give him the chance to say goodbye.

Is Seras sincere in saying this or using this as a way to distract/keep Integra holding on a little while longer?

Integra says that Alucard knows better than she that all things come to an end. 

She finally says his name!

She - Integra - also admits that she loved them all, “you vampires” and above all, they were her family, the only family she had ever known.

Now that she admits this, she must truly believe it is the end for her.

She hasn’t yet fully admitted them all though.

Integra and Seras call all the members of the family one by one:

Integra: “With the little blonde troublemaker -” 

Seras: “- and her chain-smoking beau -”

Integra: “-and her father, the Count -”

Seras: “-and his Countess.” 

(Alucard is regarded as Sera’s father due to being the one who turned her into a vampire and made her his apprentice. And Integra already feels that role of her mother)

Seras waits for Integra to deny it, and Integra does not.

This whole time Seras is crying and Integra appears to be calm - its said she has a fortifying breath. So is she preparing herself as well?

Integra does look away, however, and thinks it is pointless to think about the “could-have-beens” that also was illogical and filled her with melancholia. 

this shows Integra doesn’t feel she was Alucard’s equal, or maybe that she would have never known what his feelings were, and therefore cannot be his countess.

They do include Walter as the doting old butler.

Seras says they were “all that” (a family) for a short while, even if no one admitted it and could be if they weren’t so stubborn.

Foreshadowing to Integra and her feelings toward Alucard.

Integra goes sad and thinks Seras is wrong in that they could still be a family because they were all too scarred and destructive, but thinks Seras was the better person out of them all. Which causes Seras to cry again.

This means that in this life time, they were destined to be doomed to death, and destruction, and to have fallen apart.

But later, her second chance, is to have the family Seras spoke of!

Seras says that without Integra, she fears she will lose her humanity - just like Alucard had feared. 

Integra literally kept them ‘tame’. To some extent. 

What would happen without Integra there?

note to the 11th hour.

Integra calls Seras her best friend, her sister, and her daughter.

Integra now says goodbye, goodbye to Pip and Seras individually. (Mentally, not verbally). Then apologizes when Seras says “why does everyone leave me

Does Seras feel Pip and Alucard left her as well?

And that’s the end of Chapter 1 notes!! If any of you read this chapter and felt there were other things that stood out, please let me know

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Thoughts: Hellsing Manga/Show

Walter gives both Alucard and Seras a weapon.

Alucard gets his second pistol.

Seras gets her cannon.

Both of them use the weapons Walter gives them. BUT only Alucard’s was booby trapped.  Seras’s weapon never seems to be. (so it can be speculated it wasn’t booby trapped).

So what does this mean?

Seras was never planned, never expected. She was turned vampire as a whimsy of Alucard, and he tells both Integra and Walter as such. While whimsies are known of Alucard to do, there has to be more to Seras. He’s only ever offered/turned someone vampire once before (From what I recall), so why else did Seras show him that would make her a good choice? (I believe I remember it was said, somewhere, that Alucard was inspired by her bravery unknown to most humans to stay and keep protecting Cheddar from monsters/ghouls).

Does Walter just not expect Seras and just doesn’t have time to hinder her weapon and this is why he does not booby trap her weapon? But she and Alucard get these weapons at the same time. So, he could have had the chance. Is it that Walter trusts/likes Seras more than he does Alucard? Or did he feel Seras was needed to continue protecting Integra (since Seras had more humanity) and Alucard was too much a monster to be trusted around Integra, and that is why Walter leaves Seras’s weapon unaltered? Is it that Seras just didn’t use her weapon long enough or Walter didn’t feel threatened by her at the time to set it off, or that she stopped using it after the manor battle?

Its clear Walter wanted to kill Alucard in their fight.  Its clear he never really trusts Alucard, and predicts him to always be a monster that will try to challenge Integra’s word.

But he always seems to treat Seras pleasantly.

If any of you know anything, or know if I missed something, let me know.

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More Thoughts: Hellsing Satis

I believe this was brought on when remembering a interaction scene between Integra and Alucard in the fanfic Satis. 

Integra and Alucard have moments where their feelings are only expressed in hidden, subtle, unspoken or reserved touches/looks. It lasts only moments before their masks are back in place.

For Integra, expressing her feelings, any but especially love, isn’t something she does. Its not her, she’s never been the type to be that expressive with emotions. She’s too stubborn, and feeling such things, let alone expressing them, is sort of ‘below her’. She doesn’t have time for it, she has to be a leader, and iron skinned.

For Alucard, his master Integra has always been unpredictable. Even when he tries to get the upper hand or tempt/taunt her. She almost never reacts as he expects and can surprise him. Mostly to his own pleasure. Being over 500+ years old, Alucard had to have faced humans falling in love with him at least at some point in all that time. Even when he was human, he knew love and had a family. Also, he’s been around humans in his vampire life, so he has seen love, he knows the signs, knows its a human thing. Maybe if he doesn’t feel it himself, or feels disconnected to it by this point and has no interest. At least not in the traditional sense. However, being as Integra never admits her feelings, never shows them, at least not in the traditional way. Though, perhaps a stare from his master that lasted a little too long was a hint to something. That would be enough to intruge Alucard. He might also not love her in the traditional definition, being he does (in the original) keep a master/servant relationship with her, doesn’t mean he doesn’t hold at least some form of love for her. He does call her Countess, in the end, meaning she is his equal. So, that means, he respects her more than anyone else, obviously has trust for her and not just because she is his master, and sees her as equal to him - a human. That accounts for A LOT. As he doesn’t do this with anyone else. Not Seras, not Walter, Anderson, not Mina (the only vampire to be transformed by Alucard and drink Alucard’s blood.)

As always, if you have any thoughts to add to keep the conversation going, please feel free!

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Chapter 1, Part One Notes:

I got a little shy of reading to mid-point chapter 1 in Satis last night. (power went out, so it gave a good boot to getting to work)

Here is what kinda stood out to me as “important”. I say that in quotation as I’m not sure if any of my notes are relevant or not. I don’t know if any these things were put there for a reason, a subtle nod to a future reference, or being they are building blocks to a future goal. They just stood out to me while reading, so I recorded them. 

I really went by paragraph to paragraph. 

First note:

Integra wakes up knowing it would be her last - she would die.

She feels it in her bones (being old)

Has “topnotch” intuition

Integra says to Seras “surely you feel it as well. Today’s the day, Seras. I’m going to die.”

Does this imply Seras might be able to tell/sense death being a vampire? 

Is this something Alucard can also sense?

Seras purposely does what she can to tune out or ignore Integra implying her own death via:

humming louder over time

eluding the subject by interjections and excuses

Seras says: “I can’t wait until master comes back and I tell him that our mighty Sir Integral Hellsing was intimidated by a little sickness.” 

Integra reacts to this by ignoring reference to Alucard - his name and reference gives her discomfort? Why doesn’t she want to think/talk about Alucard?

Maybe because of her hurt feeling that he “died” and left her?

She still grieves him? Misses and loves him too much to think of him? Or is it that she’s angry?

Integra’s mind and senses are mentioned to be “as sharp as ever” and that she “would even win a fencing match” despite having cancer, being old, and feeling dizziness while trying to get up and walk to the bathroom on her own. 

Where does the line draw for her illness? Is she truly sick via cancer? Or dying from heartbreak?

I also noted her appearance: Her eyes are a shade duller, (usually referenced as blue diamonds) she does not look like a dying old woman, and her hair is lighter, almost white.

Only Seras and the family doctor know of Integra’s illness. So that the Convention, the Vatican, and the “vultures vying for her (Integra’s) assets.” at bay/don’t know. 

Does that possibly mean the illness is nothing at all? So to speak.

Why is it important to mention this? Is it important? Or just explanation of the world setting?

Seras remains in “denial”, saying: “...Nothing bad was going to happen. Absolutely nothing.” She also lingers at Integra’s bedroom door, twisting a curtain in her hands, lips pressed in a thin line, unable to release the doorknob. 

Is Seras right in nothing bad will happen, or is it truly denial? 

Why is she in denial? Does she care that much, is she afraid? 

Why does Seras not act?

What does her demeanor mean? Does she not believe nothing bad will happen, that something bad will happen?

Integra finalizes paper work for her death. Then tours the house. Calling it a beautiful mausoleum. 

Hellsings are fated to die early. From workload, stress, and nicotine. The smoking habit kept Integra sane most of the time. Quote: “She did not regret the habit. Most of the time it had been the only thing keeping her sane... - Then again...”

What does “then again” mean? 

Alucard?

Hellsing organization? 

Or was her life pass being sane at all? Being only the opposite, completely insane?

Integra mentions she “thought she (Seras) shed that aspect of hers, yet apparently it had been merely dormant.” when mentioning Seras was in denial. Yet it unsurprises Integra as “she was a bloody vampire. Vampires never seemed to grow up. No matter what age they had been when they were turned, no matter what age they existed to be, they could all be such children.”

When else has Seras felt denial? 

Integra knows this from her experience from hunting and predicting actions of vampires, and more so Alucard. (I assume). 

Does this fact of vampires being childish come into play later? Does it explain further reactions and interactions from Alucard or vampire Seras?

Pip tells Integra that Seras wouldn’t take her death lightly, that she has never taken anyone’s death lightly. And never will. 

Does that mean she didn’t take Alucard’s “death” lightly, or did not react at all when he disappeared at the end of the original?

How did Seras react to Alucard’s “death”?

Pip also says to Integra: “Whether today or in another thirty years.” 

Does that imply something? Another thirty years? Or just a statement?

Pip says after Integra, Seras will be left all alone. Integra says Seras will have Pip and him and mentions: “He’s coming back, she said.”

So did Seras not mourn Alucard? If she knew he would come back.

Why would Integra mention it, if she doesn’t think Alucard will return. Why doesn’t she want to wait, too?

Integra’s heart “panged at the mention of him”.

Pip mentions: “She respects him, sure, and she misses him like hell, but their relationship is not even close to the one you have with her.”

So this is to explain how much Seras loves Integra.

Pip says Seras (and Integra) rarely opens her heard and when she does, she lets people in too deeply. This causes Integra to falter. And then claims to have never known love. 

She still denies her affections for Alucard, why? Why when she dies today?

Integra is stubborn.

Pip disagrees with Integra, saying she loves so much she doesn’t know what to do with it. 

She loved Walter so much, she forgave him after his betrayal. 

She loved her father so much, she gave her life for his legacy. 

She loves Seras so much, she has made plans upon plans to prepare Seras, even now. (her death day).

(Pip’s voice quiets) She loves “that man” so much, that she is still waiting for him, even after 30 years. 

Does Pip’s voice quieting mean something?

Why do they never call Alucard by his name?

So Pip believes Integra does think Alucard will return, she just won’t admit she’s waiting.

That’s my notes for this part. Part 2 notes soon.

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My Current Guess:

After reading this fanfic twice, and going through the notes of the writer, here is my current guess to the end plot.

Due to Integra keeping the details of her “dream” (her past life/events of the books) secret, altering her attitude from her use-to-be 15 y.o. self, changing her lifestyle via firing her tutors, getting Seras (before the original meeting in Cheddar), calling Alucard ‘Count’ at her current age/time, letting Alucard pass  previously 15 y.o. Integra’s given boundaries and off his tight leash will somehow change the future for worse. She’s making quite a LOT of big changes now from the upcoming future. And instead of preparing or preventing the Nazi vampire’s plan, or even finding out where Walter actually agrees to betray her, she’s trying to focus on Seras or trying to tell Alucard her feelings. 

Alucard is trying to uncover the truth of her dream, and currently knows enough that his alternative self failed, but he being himself, he feels his current self is above failure. This arrogance of his means he WILL fail again sometime later, probably worse than last time, as now he is trying to compete with whatever his alternate self did. He also doesn’t understand or know Integra’s “dream”, so he doesn’t know how he has failed there.  He also has remained very curious to knowing details from the “dream”, he knows there is a war, that Integra changed, literally, overnight, she seems older in almost all ways, and that he brought his master victory, and that he failed her by leaving. Knowing Alucard, he will continue to pry until he learns the whole truth of the “dream”. It is his prey.

Integra is stubborn, so she won’t easily tell Alucard.

Integra’s left eye, (the one she looses during her past self in the war) starts to bleed in chapter 14. This HAS to mean something and have significance. Does it mean things are catching up to her? That the past, in some way, still exists?  Will something bad approach? Will Alucard start demanding answers from her now? What will Walter do? He, too, is suspicious of Integra’s behavior, and is now very, very suspicious and distrusting of Alucard.

Something bad will happen due to Integra’s decisions. She will still lose Alucard.

Seras, something has to happen with Seras.

[echostheory]

Writer says notes:

My notes collected last night on this fanfic are from reading all the author’s notes from chapters 1-14 (all her posted chapters thus far). She’s hinted that she’s left these clues, and hopefully, both myself and anyone who happens by this blog, can find them.

Writer says, chapter 1: “Though this is intended to be a AxI fic, Integra and Seras’s relationship will be an almost equally important pillar of the plot.” My notes to the underlined: How?

Writer says, chapter 3: “...Integra’s situation is so convoluted that even I, the poor masochist who has undertaken this, have to take a breather every now and then. Second chances are really not that fantastic, you know?” My notes to the underlined: Hint to the future ending?

Writer says, chapter 4: “I can say a few major events are already set in stone and so is the climax... Be aware, though, it might not be what you expect.” My notes to the underlined: What are the major events? Does ‘not what you expect’ mean those wanting fluff or a happy ending won’t get it? Or does it mean my prediction is wrong?

Writer says, chapter 9: “What will happen next chapter? Where is Alucard? How will Walter fair? Has the future been changed for the better or worse? I cannot answer these questions, but you never know. The plot may already be upon you.” My notes on the underlined: What does she mean?

Writer says, chapter 13:  “I have dropped hints about the future plot. Countless times. Of course, they are never obvious. A word here, a sentence there. You won’t know and I’ve made sure you won’t...” My notes on the underlined: This is what started my hunt. What are these hints? Where are they to be found? What words, what sentences?

Writer says, chapter 13: “We will pick up the pace, so to speak, and get into the nitty-gitty of Integra’s sitation, find out what’s up with the other characters, blow up some skulls, and produce tears - among other things.” My notes on the underlined: What is Integra’s situation exactly? What are the ‘other things’ and what does ‘blowing up some skulls’ mean?

[echostheory]

My purpose for this blog is to study and analyze every possible hint that lies within the words of the Hellsing Satis fanfic and what clues the writer might have left in her notes (at the bottom of each chapter) to piece together what the possible ending might be. A way to bide my time until more chapters are posted.

[echostheory]

Its a fanfic theory

I’ve made this blog to review and hypothesize over this specific fanfiction:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6783940/chapters/15501472

Summary: A Hellsing (a manga series created by Kohta Hirano) fanfiction in which Integra passes away before Alucard returns from the events of the book series, after waiting 30 years for his return. She wakes up after dying as her 15 year old self, believing this is her ‘second chance’ to say and do what she never did in her ‘past’ yesterday, older self.