eclectic-maker

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Can't believe I'm sitting down for the finale of the first CR campaign I've followed from start to finish. It simultaneously feels like it just started and like it's always been there. I can't wait to see what happens in the next *checks watch* however long until I have to go to bed LOL

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It seems like a bad sign that I'm too tired/resigned to even come up with new year's resolutions for this year lol

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pre vs post tadpole lobotomy

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It's looking like there's a growing divide between Campaign watchers and Tlovm watchers in terms of like. We're here for the characters. 12-episode seasons aren't. They can't be. I'm already making peace with everything we'll lose in the Mighty Nein show, and I know I will enjoy it for what it is but I also know that almost nothing that made the story so special will translate to the screen, because turning it into a show automatically means (in this day and age) that plot must be the number one priority. They've already come out and told us it's going to be different, the characters we know and love but new stories.

Because that's how this has to work. And I feel bad for campaign one lovers, because while it is certainly the easier of the two to translate to a big, overarching story, even though it's a more "traditional" high fantasy story with easier archetypal characters, the archetypes and the plot aren't what cemented most people's love for the campaign. So much of the love for critical role is stored in the interpersonal dynamics and the payoff that comes from hundreds of hours of tiny interactions that one day become cornerstones of development and even affect or dictate the plot.

There's no room for that. There's no room for Bard's Lament in a story that cannot afford to remove and replace a main character. A lot of tlovm is for people who have been here for all of campaign one. Most of it, however, isn't. It's for a new crowd. While CR may have creative control, you can bet your ass that there were months and years devoted to figuring out how to map a character-focused love of the show into a plot that hits the right beats to be viable in the show market.

And it worked. Tlovm has consistently high viewing numbers, and its popularity has brought and will continue to bring new people into the universe who have never interacted with CR previously. That's not a bad thing - imagine finishing your favorite show and discovering it has another FIVE HUNDRED HOURS of the equivalent of behind the scenes content. That's incredible for these newcomers. But man, it is in many ways a loss for us.

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happy thursday night, finally had some time to sneak in a little sketch from last week's episode

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I made a post about Laudna and Orym’s interaction in ep102 yesterday as it relates to Orym’s broader arc, but I wanted to follow it up with one more purely about Orym and Laudna’s relationship.

I think that on a fundamental level, Orym simply doesn’t understand Laudna. I don’t know if he’s aware of this. I do think he loves her. But I think that he also can’t stop seeing her as a symbol.

Orym has spent his whole life hearing about history by proxy. He’s one of the only party members with a history proficiency. He knows Keyleth, and he knows about the Sun Tree bodies. So when he learns about Laudna’s “worst thing that ever happened to her,” he sees her double: as his friend who suffered tremendously, and as the effigy of Vex that Delilah constructed.

And that weighs on him. We know it still does. When he spoke at Laudna’s res ritual in episode 38, he told her that she deserved to be more than a footnote in Delilah’s story. This was then echoed almost 60 full episodes later in episode 96 after swordgate, when he told her that she deserved her place in history as much or more. He continues to position her in relation to Delilah in a way that shows some part of his mind is always remembering that she was meant to be an NPC in someone else’s story: the way she died, the tool she was.

And that’s the other thing: that Orym has been the person most visibly uncomfortable with Laudna’s undead nature. It freaked him out long before he knew about the Sun Tree, and though he’s gotten used to it, he’s still hyperaware—we see this in his interaction with his sister in episode 66.

He defends Laudna sincerely, but he also seems self-conscious in a way that the transcript doesn’t fully capture. He knows Laudna is weird and he loves her despite it, not because of it. He still looks at her and sees a dead lady who happens to be Laudna, not Laudna who happens to be a dead lady.

There are other complicated elements to their relationship as well, of course. Swordgate, for instance, is indicative mostly of Orym’s (very human) tendency to act from his own trauma first before thinking about how it affects his friends, rather than anything specific to Laudna. But it did affect Laudna most of all. When he realized just how badly his taking up Otohan’s sword hurt Laudna, he vehemently threw it away—but not before he’d spent quite a while defending his right to bear it. Things had to really go south for him to stop and consider her experience. He loves Laudna, but he does not intuitively get her, and—even in better circumstances—he’s not always very good at stepping outside himself to try.

I thought it was interesting that Laudna wanted Orym specifically to be the one to kill her should the need arise. Obviously, this is most directly attributable to his status as the party member who “always does what’s right,” and on a secondary level it represents a meaningful shift in her relationship with Imogen: in episode 77, she’d asked Imogen to be the one to “make the right choice” if need be, but I think she now understands how impossible and torturous a request that is. Orym, though—Orym would be able to do it.

And he would. Not because he’s the infallible pillar of morality that the party thinks he is (which after all implies that killing Laudna to kill Delilah is the definitive “right” choice—something far more debatable than Laudna believes). Not just because he’s a soldier who follows orders even if they tear him apart inside. But because he’s able to see her as something other than herself. She’s his friend, but on some level, she’s still also the worst thing that ever happened to her. We even see this in the Delaudna battle itself—when he entreats Laudna to hear him and resurface, it’s by telling her that she’s suffered enough.

And for Laudna, being the worst thing that’s ever happened to her doesn’t mean being a symbol of someone else’s collateral damage. It means dying, and it means waking up with Delilah in her head. She thinks of herself as a person carrying around a monster, or on her worst days as inextricable from that monster or even as a monster herself. So if she senses that Orym can see her as something other than herself, surely he’s capable of seeing that, right?

Whether or not that’s true is debatable, and probably the subject of its own post. What’s important here is that Laudna knows Orym loves her but stands at a distance from her. That he’s able to see her as something other than a person in a way that Imogen never could. And whether that thing is a monster or a symbol of pain, that he sees her as something that has suffered enough to, if not kill out of righteousness, at least mercy kill.

So she lands on this. Surely he’ll do the right thing. He won’t want to. It might keep him up at night. But he will.

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Mass Effect Medieval AU

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laudna tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

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Had a great time watching Titanic from the POV of the iceberg

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Seeing that we're in for a 6.5 hour episode is already funny to me, but having the break after a mere hour and fifty minutes (or really just 1.5 hours if you don't count the pre-show art) is cracking me up. I'm sure the last four hours are super chill and I won't need a break at all LOL

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putting bg3 point and click voicelines together to sound like a conversation has brought me great joy, so. here's gale, karlach, shadowheart, and astarion doing a terrible job of sneaking around

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there's the other fucking shoe, my god

So while Aeor as a political entity wants to destroy the entire pantheon, others within its ranks -- the "circle of primes," who want to help the Prime Deities -- have implemented safeguards and fail-safes to ensure that the factorum malleus can only target the Betrayer Gods, because "we can help you. We can help you win the war... the time has come when we can stand beside you." (There are words there not spoken aloud -- instead of beneath you.)

I didn't think Brennan could top the Vespin Chloras reveal in Calamity, and I'm not entirely sure this is above that, but god damn it is close.

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Anytime someone hands me something

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I am electing to pass away, it was nice knowing you all

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THAT one's goin on the list too now!

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Karlach and Tav call it 'tail catch' - Tav is very fast (she's a champion at red hands/slapsies), but Karlach is persistent.

They also like to play chase and tag and tussle:

(They're both jocks, they can't help it.)

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I find it so interesting that the Calamity character art was stained glass and full of majesty and for Downfall, where they are playing actual gods, the art is so humble and mundane. Really drives home the hubris of the Age of Arcanum.

There's an essay in there somewhere, but idk if I have the energy to write it.