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Trisha Paytas really needs to just keep pushing out babies till she reaches the ultimate goal

Killing D Trump

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No, but they met at computer school, so like almost? (Not really)

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When I was in like the 3rd grade, I realized that it was wrong I only had my dad's last name and not my mom's (tiny angry feminist in the making), so I nagged my mom till she finally gave in and had my name legally changed. This is all good and stuff, but I keep thinking about what would've happened if my mom's last name started with a K. Cause my first initials were KK, now they are KAK, but I'm not sure the KKK was a big enough thing back in like 2011 for my mom up in norway to think about that before getting my name legally changed. I doubt she even thought about what initials I'd end up with at all tbh, pretty sure she just wanted me to stop asking her every damn day.

This hypothetic scenario keeps me up at night

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ANDREW AT SOME POINT NOT KNOWING IF THE SCARS ON HIS ARMS ARE HIS OWN OR NEILS

andreil soulmate au but it’s every scar on your soulmates skin shows up on your own, it starts out red but quickly grows to be more faded and less noticeable than the real thing like a whisper of a scar and nothing else, but i’m thinking about them already knowing each others scars intimately before they even talk for the first time im also thinking about how andrew would watch new scars appear on his skin doing baltimore and he wouldn’t be able to do anything but watch it happen

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Back of the head (cause I've banged my head into walls an abnormal amount of times): causes a ringing sensation. Everything sort of stops for a second, you can feel it reverberating in your teeth and jaw. Doesn't necessarily HURT all that bad right away, but the shock of it spreads outwards, you feel it in your eyes, nose, neck, top of the back, even your shoulders. Pain like an intense headache. Disorienting, causes you to stand still till the ringing stops and you stop feeling like your brain is moving around inside your head. Leaves the area sore for a few days, like a bad bruise, but the headache goes away fairly quickly (like 20 seconds for the main event, 5 mins tops for the lingering pain)

Also feels different based on what you knock into. A brick wall is felt in the teeth and bones immedeately, but something mlre hollow like metal lockers will reverb more through your skull. For metall stuff the sound is also a factor, cause its fairly loud and directly in your head. Metall stuff is more dizzying because the reverb makes you disoriented as fuck, but harder stuff like bricks etc give you more of a shock and almost a feeling as if your skull is about to split open. Metal stuff tends to hurt a bit less and leaves less pain the day after

If you fall and knock your head in the ground it tends to feel like a jerk, cause often your body hits first, and then your head kinda snaps back because of the momentum or something. So youll at first have the thud of your body, which might knock the breath out of you, and then your head is suddenly ringing. When falling the difference between grass or stone is surprisingly small (it affects the actual injury a lot, but not the sensation as it happens) cause you hit it with such speed that the grass doesn't soften the blow much.

(I have never been punched in the back of the head, so that might be different, but this at least works for someone being shoved into a wall)

how does being punched in the face feel like

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Insurance kicked in and this lowkey just happened to me

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My first Jerejean piece!

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My favorite thing to do at work is to just agree with angry costumers

Someone will come in like "50$ for a book? That is daytime robbery!" And I'll respond "I know right??? The state of the world tsk tsk."

Or someone comes in like "god all these non christian confirmations, how dare they call it a confirmation if it isnt in a church" and my gay ass non christian confirmationed is standing there like "oh yes you are so right"

Cause like, it is just not worth it to argue with these people. And the LOOK on their faces when I agree with them is so fucking funny. Cause they WANT to argue and get me riled up, bjt if I just agree and smile they can't get angry, and its like their brain short circuits.

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An isometric drawing of Neil's (not at all book accurate) dorm room!

This is my first time attempting drawing with an isometric grid, and that shit is HARD. This casually took me 44 hours to complete so excuse the erratic timelapse... Anyhow, this was EXTREMELY effective for curing art block, so highly recommend!

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Honestly, what HAPPENED with the writing skills I had in like 10th grade??? Cause we for whatever reason always had to write a short story for exams etc in english and norwegian class.

And I went OFF

I remember writing one about a person of unknown gender going into a clothes shop to buy an outfit for prom or something, and was making the choice between a dress or a suit, but that was never mentioned, instead they were described with color and fabric. And the mc wanted to wear something bright and flowy, but were expected to wear something dark and stiff.

For my final exam I also wrote a short story about a blind person looking forward to the freedom of having a guide dog while molding a dog out of clay. But it wasn't obvious that they were blind.

I had many more like this, and I have NO idea where they are or if I could even get to them ever again. We were just casually forced to write short stories like 4 times a year for 3 years and I somehow always churned out something great???

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Me: *at work about to check out a costumer* "is this all?"

Them: "yep, that's all for today. But I'd like the receipt please."

Me: "sure thing. Do you need a gift receipt or a bag with it?"

Them: "no, just the receipt is fine"

Me: *finishes beeping and bagging their stuff* "okay, that'll be *money*"

Them: *pays without any fuss*

Me: (every single time without fail cause its so ingrained in my brain at this point) "would you like the reciept?"

Me: *remembering the 5 times they mentioned wanting it* "fuck, yes of course you do, sorry, have a nice day!!"

This exact exchange happens multiple times a week and I CANNOT make it stop

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Trying desperately to find the most niche art tutorials, but apparently nobody has ever needed to draw sun coming in from two different windows in an isometric grid and drawn correct shadows considering it

Guess I'll have to figure this one out on my own

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People who say they "made" "art" because they wrote the promt for an AI... Are they aware they can literally pay an actual artist, write the same exact thing and get actual HUMAN art???

Also

Nobody who comissions an artist to draw something for them would call themselves the artist of the piece

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I swear to god a SUSPICIOUS amount of norwegian books have someone pissing their pants. It's a fucking epidemic at this point.

I listened to an audiobook, in ENGLISH, and as the mc pissed her pants very descriptively I just went "hm, it's rare I see this in an english book" looked up the book and GUESS WHAT. It was translated from fucking norwegian.

And its not just adult books!!!

I read "skammarens dotter" as a kid, and I defo remember the mc peeing her pants there when she met a dragon. Then in a crime book called "du kan kalle meg jan" she also pissed her pants multiple times. And the one I originally listened to in english was "perlebryggeriet" or something like that.

I also remember a book I read as a small child, I think it was like a detective book for 8yos the male mc peed his pants while being held hostage during a bank robbery.

WHY ARE EVERYBODY PEEING THEIR PANTS ALL THE TIME

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I once read a post about why we shouldn't say someone is very autistic vs a little bit autistic, which makes sense.

However

The example they used to compare with was "you wouldn't say someone is very pregnant or a little pregnant, they are or they aren't pregnant is all"

And this I take issue with. Cause what do you mean you can't call someone very pregnant. If someone is in the 9th month and about to pop I'd say they are SIGNIFICANTLY more pregnant than someone around 4 weeks where the fetus isn't even visible yet

I unfortunately cannot find the original post as it has been years, but this still haunts me at night.

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Growing up truly is just gaining new keys on your keychain, huh.

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My boss: "so this is gonna suck and take all day, but it needs to be done. Could you do a complete reorganization of the puzzles? We need to avoid storing any of them on the floor and utilize the shelves better"

Me: *vibrating fron excitement, frothing at the mouth* "spend the entire day sorting stuff that stacks really satisfyingly? Sure I guess I can do that"

Me when I'm allowed to go ham sorting shit at work: