eggfriedricedwasian

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Imagine if Sakura Haruno was Indian. It'd be so awesome if her Byakugou seal was actually a bindi, specifically the spiritual meaning behind it(intelligence, third eye, and chakra). It would fit her so well. Plus Indians had a bunch of natural remedies for healing, which she uses in her soldier pills.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

dick: puts on kidzbop for damian one day

damian: “this is.. wait. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MILEY CYRUS???”

jason: “dick what the fuck”

dick: “language!”

tim: “this music is going to kill me.”

[eggfriedricedwasian]

I don't know how many nickles I would have for every time someone used Schrödinger's theory in a Tim centered fic or post.

I think everyone headcanons this theory/person as his favorite bc I've seen very many posts about Tim and Schrödinger's.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

i’ve seen art but when i went looking for a fic i couldn’t find one and now im obsessed with the idea of mutant tim drake

bobby drake (iceman) is an omega-level mutant in the x-men comics whose power is to literally freeze water, make unbreakable ice, decrease thermal energy etc. he is extremely powerful and he can freeze things to the molecular level.

tim is . . . less powerful. he can freeze water, but the majority of his abilities are hydokinesis. he’s basically katara. but that’s ok! his older cousin is a superhero, and even if he can’t use his powers in gotham due to the no meta rule, tim can be trained and trained well before he becomes robin.

after tim does become robin, he quickly realizes that anytime he has an injury his bloodwork will expose the fact that he’s a mutant. he tells barbara the truth and enlists her help in hacking the bat computer because batman needs a robin but bruce would never let a mutant have the role. barbara agrees for the good of gotham.

fast forward a couple of years, tim has successfully kept this secret from the bat family right up until his dad died and custody goes to one bobby drake. bobby was busy before with x-men stuff while jack drake was in the coma so tim never mentioned it, but now that bobby can come get him tim takes one look at bruce with the adoption papers and goes “absolutely not, my cousin is taking custody.”

alternatively, tim continues to go with the uncle lie, things proceed as canon right up until damian arrives at the manor. tim takes one look at the kid with the sword who is very visibly plotting his murder, goes “fuck no”, and calls bobby to come pick him up.

bruce gets whiplash that there are things about tim he might not actually know. dick is jealous and just all around extremely weird about the fact that there is another “cool older brother” presence in tim’s life that tim is apparently very close with but never thought to mention before. it turns into a big custody battle which bobby ends by saying that tim can’t stay in gotham unless they want to stunt his growth.

cue the shock and fallout of the fact that time has been hiding that he’s a mutant from them this whole time . . .

[eggfriedricedwasian]

*in the Manor kitchen at four in the morning*

Tim: Do you think somewhere in the multiverse, Bruce has married Lex Luthor?

Jason, jumping in his seat: Jesus Christ- How long have you been in the corner for!?

Tim: Three hours.

Jason:

Jason: Weird, but yeah, that's definitely happened somewhere-

[eggfriedricedwasian]

When I think of DC voices there are very few that have very distinct voices.

Bruce Wayne sounds like the dad from Bob's Burgers.

Batman has the gravelly sounding voice everyone knows him as.

Riddler sounds like Dr. Doofenschmertz (idk how to spell it).

[eggfriedricedwasian]

I would like to start a petion, for instead of in any fics where someone needs to be taken care or just a vacation be it injury or a mental health break.

Instead of going to Jason they go Tim's.

His house is clean, he has a fancy shower that has jets. Expensive shampoos, and soaps. He has an entire draw of lush bathbombs. Every single streaming service you can think of. Cucumber water, is just in his fridge. As well as his wall to ceiling book collection.

Tim's house is a bats wet dream.

Nevermind his extensive weighted blanket collection.

Tim also doesn't get mad if people invade his space and he is almost always in Gotham.

Who's house do you think is the better option?

Dick Grayson can say with certain that Tim's house is way better. He has juice boxes.

Jason doesn't have juice boxes, he has bullets and beer. Jason is very offended at that comparison but he's enjoying his Lemon-Water and first edition Jane Austen too much to complain, while his tea tree hair mask does wonders.

Bruce is fighting for his life trying to convince his kids that his house is the best decision. Only to realize somehow Alfred is no longer at the manor.

Alfred is using Tim's brand new Sous Vide to made Salmon.

Bruce is feeling very replaced.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Jason and Damian prank the fam

Damian: *eating a burger*

Dick: uhm Damian aren't you vegetarian?

Damian: yes I am

Dick: that burger...

Damian: do not fret Richard, it is not animal meat I am eating

Dick: oh okay...... wait, is it a vegetarian patty?

Damian: no. It is one of Todd's specialties, though. Since Grandfather found the idea of being vegetarian disgraceful in the League, Todd came up with a sure way to get me to eat meat without harming any animals.

Dick: I'm a little confused

Damian: *annoyed sigh* Todd used the leftover remnants of the gladiator scraps to make me meals that consisted of meat without actually eating animals. It was a very inventive idea and passed by Grandfathers inspections every time.

Dick: ... *slowly* Damian... were you eating human meat?

Damian: was that not obvious from what I just told you?

Dick:.... I think I'm going to be sick.

Tim, *see's a Tupperware in the fridge labeled with Damian's name, from Jason*: well, I'm sure a little bite won't hurt~

Dick *walking into the room*: Hey Tim, whatcha got there?

Tim: SHHH I don't want Damian to hear!

Dick: hear what?

Tim: I'm just taking a little bit of the food Jason left him, I'm so hungry.

Dick, *now alarmed*: from Jason?!

Tim: mhm *opens container* and yknow what I'd be doing him a favor beacuse there's meatballs in here!

Dick, *who is suddenly across the room in a flash*: TIM NO!

Tim: what!? WHAT!!??

Dick: you DON'T want to eat that.

Tim: jeez, you could've just said that you're a killjoy...

Dick: no tim, I mean... *leans in* that's not beef. Or pork or any animal meat.

Tim: so it's vegetarian??

Dick:.... *shakes his head with a horrified expression*

Tim:..???......... *realization* oh...

Dinner Time with the Fam

Damian: on the topic of random chatter, I find it very interesting that my food is no longer being stolen as often as it used to be.

Dick: oh... someone's still stealing your food? *panicking*

Damian: yes, unfortunately, but it's not often anymore so I find it not to be much of a bother.

Bruce: that's good, son, maybe they'll stop food snatching soon.

Tim:........... okay we need to talk.

Jason, suddenly picking up his head, from where he was trying to hide his smile: about what?

Tim: Damian... I know that in the league you weren't allowed to not eat animals, but cannibalism is not any better.

Bruce, *extremely alarmed*: wait, repeat that?

Dick: yeah, and Jason, I don't know where you're getting your meat from, and I know you don't kill anymore, which begs the question on where you're getting your sources and if it's even clean!

Jason, affronted: hey, fuck you?! My sources are plenty clean.

Bruce: guys can we go back to what you said about cannibalism--

Damian: I don't see what the big problem is. I am getting a good amount of protein, and compared with Todd's Michelin talents, I know that I am getting more than what is needed for average children my age! I am eating healthy.

Tim: BUT NOT FROM PEOPLE! That is extremely grey area!

Dick: actually it's EXTREMELY black area, and MORALLY wrong!

Bruce, quickly scraping his chair back quickly and bolting out of the room:

Stephanie, who has been sitting idly and in amusement the whole time watching everything unfold: uhm... is Bruce throwing up?

Jason: well, I guess we found out who's been stealing Damian's food.

Dick: oh god.... Bruce has been unknowingly been participating in cannibalism.

Damian: actually, you've been Had, Richard. And Drake.

Tim and Dick: huh?

Damian: I was rather unimpressed and very angry my food has been getting stolen, Todd has superb cooking skills and having that taken from me has made me extremely spiteful.

Tim and Dick:... oh!

Bruce, finally coming back: we need to talk about this.

All the kids collectively in their heads: yeah, we're not gonna tell Bruce.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?

even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.

Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.

Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.

Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!

Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.

Jason:

Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,

Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.

Tim:

Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-

Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.

eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.

eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.

Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”

“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”

Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”

“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”

Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

So this is Tim Drakes boyfriend?

[eggfriedricedwasian]

There is few things in this fandom I love more than the idea that the BatFam forget that they’re not related.

I myself, am adopted, my sister shares my bio mother. But my brother is from another family.

But we will absolutely still forget that we aren’t of the same blood. Both my parents aren’t even the same ethnicity, having light brown hair, with their kids all having black hair and dark eyes.

The BatFam LOOK like each other, that’s why people love writing that Bruce just doesn’t want to admit that they’re all his own but with different partners, cause wtf are the chances, all of them Black hair blue eyes??? Except Steph, but she shares eye color. And Duke is said to share the same body type.

There is no doubt in my mind that these kids forget that they’re not related all the time.

Living together will give them the same mannerisms, and habits. Just making this even more evident.

They’ll be asking Bruce when filling out medical paperwork, if they share the allergies as the others. And Bruce will just look up, wondering, before they both realize what they’re saying.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

New discourse: Would you rather fight Robin (Tim Drake) with Secret (Greta Hayes)'s powers. Or Robin (Tim Drake) with Superboy (Kon El/ Kon Kent)'s powers?

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Tim: I'm not that anxious

Jason: You have stress hives. I can literally see the physical manifestation of your anxiety.

Tim: How do you know that's not just an allergic reaction to something I ate?

Jason: You haven't eaten anything but coffee in three days

Tim: Well

Jason: Mf take a nap before I make you

[eggfriedricedwasian]

i like to think that at the league of assassins jason used to get so bored of having no access to media/tv that he would just compensate by singing excessively every theme tune/pop culture song he knew whenever he was working/training, which means damian probably knew all these pop culture references already when he got to gotham, except when tim puts on the tv and he hears a popular ad jingle play during commercials he doesn’t get a fun ‘oh haha i recognise that tune’ moment instead its him hearing an ed sheeran song and having a rapid war flashback to watching jason viscerally rip the heads off a group of about 20 men attempting to harm damian while dancing and singing fucking Starlord, Guardians of the Galaxy style.

dick, humming as he makes toast: dontcha’ know, i’m still standin, betta than i eva did~

damian, experiencing both nostalgia and confusion at the same time: why are you singing a battle cry? we are in the kitchen.

tim: did you just call one of the songs from the Sing soundtrack a fucking battle cry?

damian:

damian: what’s Sing.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Has anyone ever thought of a mute Tim? Not selective mutism, but just plain mute. When Jason slit his throat, it was really so that no Robin would ever sing again... No? Just me? Do I have to write it myself?

[eggfriedricedwasian]

honestly I think tim would see his own obsessiveness as one of his best traits. like the whole batfamily is obsessive to a certain degree, but Tim’s specific brand of obsessive paired with his acute attention to detail is one of the things that gets him the most successes with his personal challenges, which I think would make him inclined to lean into it

I just also think, paired with own struggle for recognition from his role models and his slight identity struggle, his obsessive studying of others would end up manifesting in him becoming kind of a copy cat.

like, imagine him noticing one day that, while flashy and eye catching, dicks movements are also incredibly streamlined and efficient in loving him quickly from location to location. Tim’s already been a fan of the flying graysons for years, so when he decides that he should study some of dicks moves, the stockpile of old recordings of the circus act and the patrol recordings he has access to makes for great study material. Tim’s watching those recording every free second, and training every day to get more flexible, more fluid—until one day he’s on the field doing all of dicks old moves without even thinking about it.

and of course, it serves him well to have a varied skillset, so he picks up some more skills. maybe he integrates some of Jason’s kickboxing style and some of Bruce’s own grappling moves or maybe he leans into what shiva taught him more. he probably doesn’t even stop at movements, he’s probably able to channel a little bit of others personalities when in conversation. Maybe at Wayne galas when trying to charm investors, he imitates Selina’s cadence and tinkling laugh, or maybe he channels cass’s grace when asked to dance

and I don’t think anyone really notices until theyre in a fight one day, maybe the others are overwhelmed and there’s something on the other side they need to get to. Batman is already calling through the comma for everyone to retreat—this isn’t worth risking their lives for, they’ll regroup and attack again another day—but tim can see what they need right there

“Robin, there’s no chance you can clear the field quickly enough to get to the objective—“ Batman is scolding, seeing the keen look in Tim’s eye

Tim isn’t standing down though, and instead straightens up, doing what the family quickly recognizes as the warmup stretches dick always does before patrol. “You’re right, I can’t clear the field. But nightwing could.”

And dick is gearing up to say “a little tied up here” while fighting off four people at once, before he realizes—that’s not what Tim meant.

Tim is flying across the battlefield, doing flips that are so nightwing it’s like looking into a mirror, fluidly moving between and over people like it’s nothing. And he’s right. using nightwing skill set, he makes it perfectly to the other end of the field, fast enough to do what they came for without a scratch.

I think it’s only afterwards, when they’re back in the cave that dick breaches the topic, and Tim’s only response is a shrug and “I studied”

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Actually speaking of Tim's favorite color being green, and how its relative absence is thematically representative of depression for him, something I've been really appreciative of the colorists for in various comics since he's been Back

Tim is green

Tim is green

Tim is green