elizarain1108 - Tumblr blog

[elizarain1108]

Officially starting college tomorrow and I'm as stressed as can be. High school kind of sucked and I'm hoping that it will be better. I'm so nervous for my classes. I just found out today that and online class conflicts with one of my in-person classes and I most likely need to drop it. Yay for me. I just hope that tomorrow will be ok.

[elizarain1108]

Today was okay until...

When I got home it felt like everything was fine. I didn’t have much homework and that meant that I could work on some of my sewing projects. For a few hours I worked on my latest cosplay, jinx, until my grandmother got home. Now some back story on her. She is a very stubborn and tough woman who grew up having to be nearly perfect. This means that everyone around her must be the same. I am far from that. I have a difficult time remembering to do chores, pick up things, and organization. On top of that I have anxiety and depression that can cause me to go into weeks of down states where I can barely get myself to eat (mostly from fat comments my grandma makes when ever she sees me eating anymore than two meals). I have a very difficult time getting things done the way she wants them. This causes problems a lot because I will go days without doing dishes or taking out the trash and in her mind that makes me a hoarder (She has told me that I will become one one day). So when she got home I had EVA foam laid out on the table where I was cutting it. She came up to me and told me that this has to stop and that I need to be neater because she will not have her house looking like this. I later found out that if I don’t start to change my ways that I will be made to sign a contract in order to pick up my stuff and pay rent (at this time I’m still in high school). I’m trying to do better but I’m unsure of what to do. I’m scared that I won’t have a place to live if I make another mistake. She has already taken things and thrown them away on the pretense that it was left out and I’m scared that I’m next. My family doesn’t believe I’m trying. I’m really trying. 

[elizarain1108]

There is this trend on tiktok about how people don't certain people to bury them. It is suppose to be that those people are keeping them here, alive. I have been thinking about it and how my life relates. I really don't have anyone that I don't want burying me and it makes me really sad. I'm not very close to my family and I don't have close friends so I don't feel pain for them. The only thing that makes me sad to think about is my dog because no one else would want him and he would be sad. He is the type of dog that cries until I come back home. He is my last thread and I'm hanging on for dear life.

[elizarain1108]

Can someone please help me find the full story? I want to read this so bad

👀??

oh boy, I love this one

It’s 3k long already so… I’m definitely finishing it eventually.

[elizarain1108]

One of the saddest things is when you realized the one person who has always been on your side has left because they can't deal with you anymore. This has broken me and I now have no one. I am not ok for those who even care to think about how I'm doing.

[elizarain1108]

I'm on to my second week of school and I'm already done. I walked up to my friend to talk to them and the next period I hear girls talking shit about me all because I wanted to say hi to my friend. Why is it that I can do next to nothing and still have people be mean to me? I just want to live my life without being told that I'm wrong.

[elizarain1108]

I'm kind of sad right now because I want to play d&d but I don't have a group and all the ones I can find are with adults. I kind of wish I could have a group of people around the ages of 15 to 18 to play with. I also don't know how to DM and I feel bad inviting people if I'm not DMing.

[elizarain1108]

I'm honestly so happy to see that Disney had a non-binary character finally make an appearance. Raine Whispers is so amazing and kind of related when it comes to their shyness. I know it isn't much in the way of LGBTQ+ representation but it is a step in the right direction. I hope we get to see more of them in the future. It would also be nice to see more of their relationship with Eda. Have a nice night to whoever reads this.