elleiam

[elleiam]

I’m thinking of starting up this blog again since it’s my last semester in Korea (or really last 3 months...) and it’ll be nice to remember. Plus with everything that’s been happening surrounding COVID-19, there’s quite a few updates I should make. In the meantime, I have been watching so many dramas and made a list of recs on my study blog!

A bit different from my usual content, but here are my top 8 drama recs! While studying Korean, I’ve come to watch a bunch of dramas and wanted to share some for those just starting to learn about the lovely world of Kdramas, or those needing a new rec. I’ve tried to pick ones that fit all different kinds of genres or moods so that there’s something for everyone. Happy watching!

[elleiam]

Seoul Trip with Mom

Was so happy my mom came to visit me this weekend. We went to so many parts of Seoul that I had never seen before and discovered new things in parts that I had. Got asked for directions a bunch of times (felt super cool) and found a lot of cool photo spots that made me feel cooler than I am. I usually only come up to Seoul for work or Fulbright dinners, so it was nice to finally get a chance to be a tourist. 

[elleiam]

Fall Con 2.0

Fall Conference round 2 was this past weekend and honestly it cannot even be compared to last year. Sitting in those conference seats, I remembered exactly how I had felt a year prior. Whenever anyone asked me how school was I gave this exact answer: “Ughhhhhh it’s not great. My students are crazy.” I remember desperately trying to enjoy as much of Fall Con as possible since it was my last break before the 7-week dearth of days off until Christmas, while at the same time unable to have fun because my brain was just thinking about going back to school.

This year was so different! I had way more fun than I expected. This new cohort has got some inspiring new ideas, and I really enjoyed the large group presentations. I learned about what’s going on between Korea and Japan (biggest takeaway for me), and got some nice ideas for upcoming lessons. Outside of official programming, I enjoyed getting to know not only the new cohort, but also all the second years that I didn’t really hang out with last year. It definitely makes it easier when your best friend is back in California and the remaining group is only 30 strong (versus 80... terrifying). So here’s a brief breakdown of Fall Con:

Friday-Saturday

Sign you’re a renewee: Woke up way too late and missed the train I booked and didn’t even go through the panic stage. Just laughed, bought the next ticket, and proceeded to make a nice omelet for breakfast. I was met with pouring rain at Singyeongju but also a few other first years from Sejong. We took the bus together, missed our stop together, and went on a quick rain-soaked adventure through what seemed like an abandoned traditional village (just in time for Halloween). The picture is of the place at night.

The rest of Friday and all of Saturday carried on as usual. Large group presentation, small group presentations, lesson plan and demographic sharing groups, EducationUSA, lots of cheese, rice krispies (is this new?? I feel spoiled), and apples! Yes, I ate an entire apple. They must have been fresh because I didn’t get an allergic reaction.

Our hotel room view was actually amazing (forgive my wrinkly shirt).

Sunday

Went to go see the 핑크뮬리 before there were too many people there and WHOO thank goodness because I finally got that nice photo where there aren’t too many people in the background. Not even going to show last year’s photo because it was such a vain attempt.

We got some amazing Japanese food for lunch and then went to a cafe that gave us an amazing view of the traditional roofs of Gyeongju. It was so peaceful. It was so nice to get some time to talk (but really vent) to people about the LSAT and grad school admissions. It’s a soul-sucking process and I never feel more unqualified for anything than when I have to sell myself and prove that I am qualified... We cafe-hopped a bit and ended up at another cool one that had delicious lemon cake. I grabbed a piece before heading back to the hotel before our final conference dinner.

At night we played Avalon, FINALLY! I was really scared to play it with the first years because it’s such a long game to explain and people usually lose interest before even giving the game a shot, but we managed to get a good group and had a lot of fun! Our last game (I was Merlin...I suck at being Merlin) was absolutely TRAGIC and I still think about it to this day...

Monday 

Time to go home!

[elleiam]

Well hello ~ I’m back!

Hi there! It has been months since I’ve posted anything...that’s my bad. The further behind I get the more I just sit here and think, “ughhhhhhh,” because I’m lazy and don’t want to catch up. Now that the LSAT is over (another ughhhhhh) I finally have my life back and can start to do things that were the reason I renewed in the first place! Aka study Korean.

So a lot has happened since I posted about renewing. Did FEP, met the new cohort, moved into an apt, went back to the States, took the LSAT, turned 23 (yesterday!), got closer with some renewees, watched like 8 full dramas, etc. Teaching has remained relatively the same, although lessons tend do just start out more successful now with less need for trial and error. 

I think I’ll make an actually substantive post soon, but this is just a “well hello i’ve returned!” kind of thing. So, hello!

(In the meantime check out my studyblr wink wink)

[elleiam]

A couple weeks ago I finally heard back from KAEC that I can renew and at Final Dinner I signed a paper saying I wouldn’t change my mind. So outside of signing the official contract, it’s pretty official - I’m staying in Korea and at Gakri Middle School for another year. The night before the application was due in mid-April, I wrote this post. It wasn’t finished but I like the idea of posting it as it is, so here - Honestly, I don’t even really talk about the specific reasons why I decided to renew, but it sort of takes you through the huge transition that happened in my mind from “get me out of here” to “what if I never leave.”

Deciding to Renew...

Wow. This post is so scary to write, and will also be incredibly long. Actually, it’s the night before the grant renewal application is due, 9:30 PM, and I haven’t even started it. I’m not worried – the application itself is only 1 essay plus an updated resume. But there’s something about the fact that I haven’t even started that gets to me… Renewing has never been an easy decision. I didn’t come to Korea thinking “oh yes, I’ll be here for another year.” There also was not any clear explainable reason that stood out to me, for example loving my students too much, wanting to stay in Korea, etc. In fact, everything was leading me home. I didn’t like teaching, hated lesson planning, didn’t love my students as much as ETAs should (or as much as I thought ETAs should), wanted a job at a big law firm for two years, etc. etc. There was little reason for me to stay.

However, anyone close to me (aka Louise and my mom) knows that I have been back and forth for weeks. In fact, I even had thoughts back in October that maybe I could see myself renewing, but each time the idea of staying for another year would fill my whole body with so much dread it felt like my veins were filled with lead, no joke. Since March, however, I’ve wavered constantly and thought more seriously, coming up with one excuse after another why I should go, why I should stay, no, why I should go, so on and so on.

But I’ve made the decision – I’m renewing. Why? In a way I’m writing this post to make one final think-over of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it before I write the application, and in another way hoping that this will help me write it...

Let me take you on a brief trip back to last semester. I’ve briefly mentioned this before, but it was really tough. I spent the majority of September and October trying to adjust, figuring out how to teach, how to scaffold, running out of ideas for lessons and making things fun, struggling to connect with students, failing to bond with any teachers besides the smiling I’ve grown accustomed to exhibiting all the time. By the time I finally adjusted well-enough, I was ready to go home. I literally counted down the days to each proceeding month because each passing month brought me closer to January, which would bring me closer to January 19, which was the day I’d leave Korea for Taiwan.

The month of January passed so quickly and soon enough, it was the night before I flew back to Korea (not even for teaching) and I stayed up all night panicking. I wasn’t anxious about what I had to do in Korea, I was literally just anxious about going back to a place I disliked so much. It was like returning to prison – it was that bad. (**I want to point out that my placement is actually incredible and that a lot of my struggles last semester were on me and my own mindset, a change in which is part of why I’m writing this now).

 ….Then the first day of school happened. I think immediately I thought, wow I can see myself renewing here. And unlike the times before when I thought of renewing, this time I didn’t immediately feel like death. I was actually really open to it. Since that day, it’s been a continuous daily struggle trying to debate staying at my school for another year versus going home. Then Spring Conference happened the first week of April and it reminded me of how lucky I am at my school and also confirmed all the reasons to stay I had thought about leading up to it.

There is one main reason I am renewing: I love my coworkers, or do I dare call them, my friends. (*me today: I actually remember typing this sentence, looking at the clock and seeing that it was almost 11pm, realizing the app was due during school hours the next day, panicking, and thinking aight I’m definitely renewing so I should probably start writing the actual application instead of this stream of consciousness)

The day after I decided to renew, I told one of my favorite co-teachers. Her excitement reconfirmed for me that my decision was correct as she searched around her desk looking for paper for me to sign, like a contract. The next day I told my main co-teacher and she screamed. Another teacher shook my hand. Another clapped and squealed. Even if some days I feel nothing but doubt and fear at the prospect of staying, I remind myself that there are so many reasons to stay and that days filled with doubt will honestly come even if I am not in Korea – so why not go through it with people who genuinely care and love me, and whom I love back so much it hurts.

(Also it’s now 7/6 and I’m happy to tell you that I haven’t regretted my decision a single time since applying. In fact I’ve only found more reasons why staying is the best decision for me - and my students ❤)

[elleiam]

Ayyy just posted this on my studyblr (yes I have a studyblr). 

How I Study Korean

Hello hello! To thank y’all for 7k followers I thought I’d make this quick post about how I study Korean. I’ve been in Korea for around 11 months now and while it’s been really hard to keep the motivation going sometimes, I’m really proud of how far I’ve come with studying the language. I think I’ve finally found a way to study the language that is both fun and effective, so I thought I’d share!

For some context, I came to Korea knowing only the Korean alphabet (and it still took me a few seconds to remember it). On my first day of Orientation we learned 잘먹겠습니다 and I was like chal-mok-uh-what? We had six weeks of intensive classes before heading to our placements (more info about my Fulbright experience here) but it wasn’t very helpful because the class itself was pretty poorly structured. Essentially I’ve studied the whole language only on my own. Now I can understand a good portion of what’s said at my workplace (ok like 30%), can use enough Korean to fool people into thinking I’m Korean hehe, and most importantly just feel overall less overwhelmed about being surrounded by a language I don’t speak.

So how’d I get here?

Vocab - you can’t really do anything without vocab. I use a TOPIK I vocab book because even though I’m not taking the TOPIK, I figured the words they expect you to know are probably helpful (they are). I talk more about that book here.

Grammar - Currently I’m going through the TTMIK books. I put all my grammar in one place because then it almost becomes like a grammar dictionary for me when I have a question. I try to write as many sample sentences as possible so I remember how to use them. Before TTMIK I used KGIU Beginner (and will soon move onto KGIU Intermediate). I talk about my grammar books in that same post here.

Writing sentences/daily diary - I then use the words in each chapter of the TOPIK book along with the grammar I learned together in sentences. That helps with me actually producing content using what I learned, instead of just memorizing everything. 

**Just memorizing words will not get you anywhere. I saw a HUGE improvement in my Korean once I actually started to write sentences instead of only memorizing grammar and vocab**

Learning Korean songs - My new favorite thing to do. Everyone says that when you learn a language you need some connection to it to help you stay motivated. I’ve been going through a lot of popular Korean songs (prepping for dem norebang nights amiright) and doing the following: I define all new words that I see, explain all foreign grammar, and directly translate all the lyrics.

Note that some vocab in the songs is not commonly spoken vocab. Just like how poets will use a lot of words that might be weird to say in daily conversation. I recommend looking up the words in Naver dictionary and looking at the example sentences to get a feel of when it’s used.

Also note that song grammar is often not proper grammar. They take liberties. I don’t recommend you focus on the grammar in songs until your Korean is at a high enough level where you can sort of decipher that and google the right thing. For example, they’ll mush particles into words which might confuse you or mess up the sentence order for it to sound better.

Lastly, I use Color Coded Lyrics because it has not only the Korean lyrics to songs but a rough English translation. I only use the English translation to make sure I’m somewhat going in the right direction, but try not to refer to it that often. The purpose is to make sure that I can understand the song by myself first before checking the translation. (Also the link is to the first song I ever learned, Mikrokosmos by BTS)

Other resources I often use

TTMIK’s QandA videos. All their videos are good but their Q&A series is the most useful in my opinion because it goes through examples of things that are genuinely confusing about Korean, especially when you try to speak it. Hyunwoo always gives amazing (and numerous) examples. Here’s the playlist.

Anki. YAS spaced repetition is the key. Make sure to use it every day (I forget to and uh yea I should). As long as you need to absorb new vocabulary, Anki is great. But please please remember that just flashcards will not help. You have to actively use this vocabulary in conversation or writing to remember it. Also check out this hilarious article about how you really should not be using Anki.

Also I recommend syncing your deck across devices so you can use the web version on your phone (instead of downloading the app you have to pay for on iOS)

How to Study Korean. I used to use this as my only source of grammar learning but I found it a bit too dense. He really packs a lot into each lesson and as an early learner it’s a bit overwhelming. But from the perspective of wanting an in-depth explanation to a grammar point, it’s incredible. Usually I just google the grammar point I need and use his explanation.

Language Learning with Netflix. Listening skills are also super important so I use this Chrome extension to be able to see both the Korean and English subtitles at the same time. Especially in the early stages of learning, I definitely couldn’t tell you exactly what words the actors were saying, so seeing the English translation really didn’t help much. With the extension you can also have it auto-pause after each line if you really want to hard-study. I usually just pause and write lines down when I think I might say something like that in conversation.

Apps

Papago. This is a better alternative to Google Translate because apparently they have user competitions to find the most natural ways to translate things, so it’s not just based on machines. It’s also helpful because you can take pictures of Korean text and it’ll translate it pretty effectively.

Naver Korean Dictionary. This app is great because it has a “Conjugation” button when you look up verbs and adjectives, gives you samples sentences, and also lets you connect easily to naver.com if you need to search for a good cafe. More importantly though, this app also has Papago within it. While it doesn’t let you take pictures of text like the normal Papago app, it does list all the new vocab in the sentence you translated, which the Papago app doesn’t do. This is incredibly helpful when sometimes something is conjugated weirdly in the sentence and you can’t decipher what the base word actually was. Naver will tell you!

Let me know if you have any questions!! I hope this helps someone :)

[elleiam]

Sports Day!!

WHAT an amazing two days. Not only are these kids mega talented but also once they’re not in the classroom they become completely different people. So many of my students from last semester called me over to sit with them and talk with them, waved at me, screamed my name. During school these kids give me NO REACTION. Like they don’t even know me! Luckily now after sports day they do acknowledge me in the halls (thank you sports day, thank you). Sports Day was also such an interesting experience because besides for maybe 150 students, I knew the entire 1000+ student school. I had taught all of them. That’s seriously crazy to me, to know that many faces and for that many faces to feel comfortable around me.

My nervous shy self literally never takes photos with students but from just these two days I have close to 100, maybe more! Here’s my favorite because I look the most presentable HAHA and my coteacher’s filter came in clutch. The best part? I don’t even teach this class. They just really wanted a photo with me CRIES.

And then to make up for that nice photo, here’s one of what my face actually looked like for most of the day... it got abused by the students and I couldn’t be happier about it.

^Some glitter from one class, some stickers from another, and really I had no choice than to become a cat when all these students surrounded me with face paint.

I got to spend time alone time with all of my favorite teachers and even struck up some conversations (in English and Korean !!) with some new teachers! I shared ice cream with one, talked about vacation plans with another. Hid from the heat with a teacher friend, stole ice cream from a student, and cheered simultaneously for two opposing sides during dodgeball finals.

Student from 1-5: Teacher, cheer for class 5 okay?? Promise?? CLASS 5!!  Me: Of course!! WHOOO CLASS FIVE!!  *makes eye contact with student from 1-3* Me: WHOOO CLASS THREE!! Student from 1-3: YEAA!! CLASS 3!! I LOVE YOU TEACHER!! *makes eye contact with student from 1-5*

I decided the best way is to physically sit in the very middle and then just lean my body to either side based on whoever’s on the offensive. You don’t even want to know how crazy I looked once the game was over.. 

One of the best things I found out was that there’s a Gakri dance. Okay maybe many schools have this, but they teach all the first graders a stretching dance during PE and so the whole schools knows this specific dance that’s meant to warm up their bodies. It’s the cutest thing ever.

Ok now for the not so cute but completely INCREDIBLE. Check out my students’ mad skillz:

Honestly there are too many small cute stories for me to share. I think I’ll selfishly keep them to cherish on my own. But most important takeaway for me from sports day is that students love your love and will give it back to you 100%. If you want to make memories with your students (and teachers!) it’s on you to extend that offer first. That’s probably why I literally passed out in my bed for 3 hours once I got home from day 1.

[elleiam]

A Teaching Moment

It’s not that I don’t usually feel like a real teacher, I do. My school respects me and the class I teach, my students listen to me (enough), and I’m always kept in the loop. But the fact of the matter is when it comes to the parts of teaching that are unrelated to the textbook or my ppt, I don’t do much of it. I always have a coteacher by my side to quiet the kids and take care of discipline problems. Outside of the classroom, kids go to their homeroom teacher for friendship and life advice, never me.

So when I strolled along to class thinking, “pfft it’s ok that my coteacher told me she can’t come today, this class is always chill” and two girls ran out of the classroom to tell me someone was bawling, I was really thrown for a loop.

The week before, I had told this class that we would switch seats the next class and they could pick their own seats. I do this because I don’t know who is friends with who and it is more important to me that they can sit with their friends in my class than for them to be quiet and uncomfortable. It doesn’t go unnoticed when I see friends whisper answers to the more quiet kids or when they exchange looks of “help me help me.” Especially with my first-graders, I know tearing them apart would be a step in the wrong direction in building the stress-free classroom environment I aim for. So the five minutes before class, I put up a ppt slide that says “Choose a new seat!” along with a picture of their old seating chart with a big red X over it and let them do their thing. I had done this with 8 other classes now with no problems, so I didn’t think too much of it. In this class, however, apparently everyone wanted to sit in the front, but the boys got there first. The same boys that had been sitting there before we changed seats. They found a loophole and essentially all just shifted one seat over to keep the same group. It didn’t help that the girls got held up with something out of their control and got to class after the boys.

When I got to class, I calmed down the girl, explained to the boys the meaning of fairness, and thought of a solution that ended up satisfying all parties. It only took 15 minutes but really felt like an eternity.

The most terrifying part though was when I stood right in the center of the classroom and asked the class to listen. I waited until every single pair of eyes was on me and not a single mouth was moving. Honestly, it took a really long time but I wasn’t going to compromise on their attention. I didn’t need to do this. I had already solved the problem with the ten or so kids directly involved, but then I wouldn’t be doing my job as a teacher. I’m here to teach them English, yes, but when a learning opportunity presents itself so clearly, how can I just move right past it? So I waited, and when every student was listening to me, I explained to them why we change seats the way we do, why we shouldn’t stay in the same seats, and what we’ll do in the future.

It was so scary. But for one of the first times, I really felt like a teacher. They all looked at me like I was a judge delivering my verdict. It didn’t matter that I was speaking English or that I don’t give them a grade. It only mattered that they knew we had a problem and I was making them listen. And they did. The rest of the class went swimmingly and every kid had a good time. Even the girl who was crying would participate and sometimes giggle through her tears. Honestly, I’m really proud of how I handled that and am for sure more confident in my own abilities as (and my right to call myself) an educator. But dang those 15 minutes really shook me and I took a long nap the second I got home... 

[elleiam]

Boseong Green Tea fields ~

[elleiam]

Sports Day... Almost!

We’re right in the middle of midterm exams right now, but these lucky first graders don’t know what that stress feels like because they have a free semester (aka no exams no grades no non-academy stress!) To prep for next week’s two-day sporting event, the first graders had some preliminary competitions today after the second and third graders went home to recover. 

I’ve realized that while it’s amazing to see these kids in the hallway and in class, nothing quite beats seeing them at their finest - when they’re not studying. The quiet ones somehow emerge from their shell and throw loads of English at me. The loud ones just get louder. 

Students were dying laughing at how surprised I was that this is a real thing (and also how good they are at it):

Last semester, I was too nervous to talk to any of my students when they had events like this. I’d just stand with the teachers and observe from afar. NOT THIS TIME. I marched right into the crowd of students and to my surprised they all screamed and ran over when they saw me. “Teacher!!! Teacher!!!!” They threw open their arms and next thing I knew I was in a group hug of seven of my girl students. They all wanted individual ones but I only have two arms haha :) 

Students would stand with me complaining about the heat, talking about their friends’ ~crushes~, and crying aka whining about losing in the first round. We talked about how black absorbs heat like crazy as we all touched the tops of each others’ heads (#asianproblems). We noted how handsome one student got now that he took off his glasses (and whether or not he liked this other girl ooOOoOo). Another student strutted down his own made-up catwalk to show me his model walk. One student ran up to me: “TEACHER!! PLEASE! WATER!! CAN I??” Why are you asking me, GO!! I was quizzed endlessly on names and had to face the outright disappointment of one girl who could not believe I’d think her name had 서 in it when it was so clearly 소 (still don’t know the difference). 

Honestly I was in a state of pure bliss for the 60 minutes I stood out sweating in the hot sun with these kids. They make my day in and outside of the classroom and it’s great to see them have a chance to be free and wild. Also, today I bring you a revolutionary first: my very first selfie with students ever!! I’ve always been too shy to ask for photos or whip out my phone, but I had been talking to these girls for 20 minutes I thought hey it’s time. I’M SO HAPPY.

[elleiam]

The photos and videos really don’t do it justice but dang the Daegu Lantern Festival was a sight to behold.

[elleiam]

Thank you 영국남자 for the suggestion and my 미국여자 friend for accompanying me to this FEAST. 

[elleiam]

[elleiam]

First Day Back

I found this in my drafts today and honestly don’t have any recollection writing it - I was on such a high that day I can’t even remember it. But I do know that I didn’t want to post it at first for two reasons: one, it felt like I would jinx it, and two, I felt like I needed time to process first before saying anything. Reading this again a month in, the post still makes me smile. Surprising how things can change so quickly. Enjoy the barely edited raw thoughts of my first-day-of-school brain ~

Today was a good day. And I think for the first time in a while, today was a day I would qualify as good in any book, not just in the context of Fulbright Korea.

Here’s what I mean by that. You don’t read a lot about the bad stuff on blogs and such because people usually post about successful lessons or fun travels they’ve had. And why would they? You’ve already lived the bad once, no point in reliving it through text and having it exist forever. I know I haven’t posted much about the bad either - but before I came back to Korea here’s where I stood:

I did not want to come back. I was in Taiwan for a month and then in Japan for another week. If I even just thought about coming back to Korea I would instantly be in a bad mood that would honestly last a while. I felt like I was wasting my time here plus I got such bad anxiety just thinking about all the things that come with a new school year - my Korean hasn’t improved so will I have friends at school? Will the friends I did make still remember me? What am I going to do with 35-student classes? All my lessons sucked, will they keep sucking? I can’t keep teaching lessons I’m embarrassed about. How will life be like with my homestay? Oh and more importantly, wow teaching is just not for me I don’t want to keep doing it.

Sure, I’d have good moments. But the thing about those good moments is that they’re pretty normal in another circumstance. A teacher not being rude to you and returning your hello or you being included in a conversation is something that would generally happen in any other work place but just doesn’t happen here (language barrier? cultural barrier?) Who knows. So each time something “good” happens, it feels like we’re just grasping at straws to not make this experience better, but just less worse, if that makes sense. Things I’d take for granted in the States are things I’m desperate for in Korea. I think that’s what has previously made me think about renewing - whenever I had a day that was just slightly above the rest I wanted to hold onto that so badly before it went away, and maybe renewing would help me do that. You know, more time to develop friendships and all that.

Today I realized that a lot of it is my own fault though. It’s my fault for succumbing to that mentality that this is just the way things are. It’s my fault for thinking I somehow lost all control over my own life just because I’m in a foreign country. With a new semester starting, I wanted to make these few months one that I was at least comfortable living in.

I think I went into today with the notion that I was gonna stop all that nonsense that goes on in my head. It’s my second semester - I’m no longer one of the new teachers on the stage introducing themselves. I know more names than they do, I know how things work. For a second I felt confident for the first time in a while and you know what? That changed my day. Who knew that thinking to yourself that you’re respected, welcomed, and appreciated might actually put you in a position where you can finally see the reality - which is exactly that, that you are respected, welcomed, and appreciated. 

Today I was invited into conversations. Today I initiated conversations. I visited more gyomusils than I can count just to say hello with teachers that I missed. I laughed, a lot. I wasn’t silent at lunch. I smiled the whole day. My new students loved me. Today was a day for the books and it makes me smile that on some level, that was my own doing.

[elleiam]

And We’re Back!

The second semester is upon us and it’s like I’ve returned to a different school. Somehow my throat no longer hurts after each class because students are actually listening to me?? I sincerely love my students from last semester, but just as much as it was obvious in high school and college that every class has a different personality, the same applies here. 

I won’t compare them because that’s just not fair - my love is equal <3 but I do know that the way I approach lesson planning will change as there are activities I feel a lot more confident in being possible with these kids. Also, I think the assignment of the co-teachers actually makes my life a lot easier too. The wonderful ladies I was teaching first grade with last year now teach third grade, and those that taught third grade now teach first grade. It’s quite interesting adjusting to this new dynamic while also adjusting to two new (and great) co-teachers too! My first grade co-teachers are pretty hands on which is helpful with students who don’t understand me. And my third grade co-teachers know how to lay down the law, which I can see being helpful in the future when these students check out hahha.

So having taken a cue from Louise who recorded a lot of cute moments with her kids last semester, I’ve decided to do the same and just wanted to share a few that have come up so far.

Bonded with a student over our mutual love of Brooklyn 99. (His favorite is also the Captain yeeee) Thank you to all the Orientation peer pressure for making me finally watch this great show.

My new first graders were too scared to come into the classroom even though I was waving them in. They just stood outside peering their heads in and when a boy confidently walked in a girl grabbed his hood and was like noooo

We were playing a human scavenger hunt and my co-teacher tells the class secretly that I play flute so a hoard of maybe 12 kids runs up to me and goes “Do you play the flute?” to which I answer yes. Instead of all of them just writing my name there, however, they each took turns coming up to me and asking the same exact question “Do you play the flute?” HOW PRECIOUS and sweet - please stay that way forever. Never grow up.

A third grader writes on his survey that English is his favorite class and I go “OoOoooO” and all the other boys at his table go “No teacher his is liar! Before, math class, he say math is my favorite class. Before before, history, he say history is my favorite class. Liar! Liar!” And then when they’re all leaving the classroom, that same boy goes “Teacher you are a very beautiful girl” to which all the boys just go “Liar! Liar! Liar!” Excuuuuuse me? Hahaha

My heart has been so full this week and it feels like I’ve finally found a place in this school among my students. Having the whole school know who I am (minus the two first grade classes that I just happen to not teach and also aren’t in my hallway) definitely creates a different dynamic. It’s weird to walk down the halls and have no one kind of stare at you like “who dat?” It’s also so different to have people say hi to you not as their teacher but as their ex-teacher and now friendly face. 

Teaching goals for this year:

Learn more names per class. I won’t even kid myself and say I can learn all 550 of them (yes, more students this year), but I want to learn at least 10 per class. That’s only 170 names which I should be able to do. 

Teach about musical theater and finally use the lesson I made last semester on memes even if I’m the least qualified to teach them.

Have more opportunities for my students to speak in class but also focus a bit on writing. Many of them said this is incredibly hard for them, but as far as I can tell they don’t do much writing in their normal English class.

I’m feeling very optimistic about this semester and I’ll try to keep that attitude going even when things inevitably get tough - aka this coming week when I have to teach the boring textbook to all of my classes. I am so sorry in advance, students. I tried my best. There are many GIFs.

Here’s to a spectacular final 19 weeks of the grant year with the understanding that not everything is sparkles and rainbows all the time and I’ll definitely have moments like last semester when I’m just counting the days till I go home!!

P.S. Expect some super late posts on Cambodia, Taiwan, Japan, and even a lesson I did last semester??!?! And actually maybe a thank you post to my students last semester... 헐!! 너무 바빠.  (Imma back date them cause Louise taught me how and that just makes so much more sense)

[elleiam]

Scenes from Kyoto and Osaka :)

[elleiam]

I’m back ~ thoughts on 요

All right.. I’m back in Korea. You didn’t even know I left did you?? No, because I dropped off the face of the blearth (blog/earth). Actually, while I was in Taiwan I went through this whole existential thought process that started from me asking myself “why did I just sort of stop blogging?” I have around 10 different posts I thought I was going to make but I just... didn’t? Anyway, I had an epiphany about me and blogging and other stuff but I didn’t write it down and now I forget that epiphany.

Let’s just let it be known that I had one. In the meantime, here’s another thought I’ve been having about the Korean language, specifically the 요, and why it means I’ll never feel comfortable speaking the Korean language.

I thought I would be able to handle the hierarchy fine. That sort of respect for elders exists in Chinese culture, and it’s not like I’m not used to hierarchical speech (shoutout à vous et tu). For some reason, the Korean 요 just feels so distant from me, even more so than -ㅂ니다 which to me makes more sense as it is excruciatingly formal.

The 요 is usually used when you’re talking with someone older than you, someone in a higher position than you, a stranger you want to be nice to, etc. 

Children don’t use the 요 with their parents until they’re old enough to start learning how to use it. Even after they know of the 요, however, they still don’t use it all the time. It depends on the mood apparently - use 요 when your parents are angry or not joking around, and ditch it when you’re just playing.

Even when I’m just joking with my host family though, I’m always expected to use the 요, and they more often than not use the 요 with me. Does that mean I’m not actually part of their family despite what they tell me? Am I expected to use it because I’m old enough to really understand the idea of hierarchy whereas their kids might not yet be? Do they use it just because I’m their son’s teacher? For some reason, the 요 feels more like a barrier than a show of respect.

In French, you use vous with strangers, but regardless of age or status, you eventually move to using tu if it feels right. (Obviously not with your boss or principal, duh). For example, with our host families, we all started with vous but were advised to switch to tu if we heard our host parents switching to tu. Once we all started using tu, that meant we were close. Here, I’ll always use 요 and never be able to switch away from it. It’s my fault for equating these noticeably different languages, but it’s something I just can’t get my mind around.

Which leads me to another point. In my mind, the addition or omission of 요 is a constant thought process, when actual Koreans probably don’t even think about it. It’s so natural to them whereas it feels so deliberate to me - like my choice to use 요 or not is a sign of whether I respect you (omg). It makes me feel like I’ll never really fit into Korean culture, because every time I hear or don’t hear 요, all I can think about is - what does that mean??

Example: bus drivers usually use 요 because you’re their customer and in business relations people generally stick a 요 in there. When I was putting away my luggage, however, the bus driver just goes “어디 가?” Is it just because I’m younger than him? Was he being normal or being rude? The fact that I go through this thought process every time I hear or have to say 요 (is my own fault but also) is why I feel so distant from both Korea’s language and culture. Ughhhh