ellipsisislove

[ellipsisislove]

Ocean Eyes

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ - Inspired from Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish (Plug in to the song for a better experience)

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

She was shivering. But that didn't matter, none of it did, none of the world did. She was stripped to her bare inners, and her breathing was laboured. She didn't care. She wanted to feel this way, the sheer torture of being naked in an empty beach. There was a very small part of her brain making sense in her head. Protesting against the self-inflection of pain. But the cacophony of the other thoughts were too loud and she preferred it that way. To think, breathe and be insanity. A gust of wind swept past her body again, the chillness of it crumbled her resolve slightly. And that was enough to push her to the edge. Without a second thought she took off towards the luminescing water, her heart unwavering towards the decision. A big splash echoed through the night and she was underwater. She made no attempt to swim, only sink. Deeper, and deeper. Opening her eyes, she peacefully observed the blue walls around her. The ocean. Vast and Big. It scared her, the sensible part of hers wanted to float back to the shore and go home. She didn't want to. She wanted to feel the ocean's warm hug. It's caress, it's love reminded her of him. It was painful. The moonlight illuminated the water underneath. Her eyes were shut close and she was enjoying the feeling of the waves. The tides were carrying her further and further away. The ripples were a gentle rocking, lulling her to sleep. Lulling her to a happy dream, with him right by her side. His infectious love for the ocean, which left a deep impact in her life. He was the ocean's son perhaps. His eyes haunting her whenever she slept. It was her way of escapism to stare at the water, and remember his memory. She opened her eyes, snapping from his thoughts. Her lungs were burning, and her body was pushing upwards. NO. Her mind forced her to swim deeper into the ocean. But it felt like even the water was against her, and it forced her upward to get air. Like the ocean had a heart of it's own, and it wanted her to live. Her limbs were not in her control, and before she could truly bask in the agony of dying, she felt the night air burst through her pipes. She was back on the shore. Everytime she tried, she would find herself collapsing onto the sand. When she finally thought she would reach him, she would be pulled to her reality. Hugging her knees to herself, she stared at the water. "If you wanted me to live, why did you burn into my life. Let me drown." She said morosely, her throat hoarse. Silent tears fell from her eyes, "You don't get to save me. You don't get to make that decision for me. I despise you."

The ocean retaliated by gently washing her feet. An apology.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

I wanted to share the emotions I felt while I listened to Ocean Eyes. It's so beautiful.