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[elysiiqn]

[elysiiqn]

Imagine waking up to the deafening roar of explosions, your tent shaking violently as the earth trembles beneath you. In an instant, everything is chaos—your children scream in terror, clutching onto you as you scramble to escape. The sky is filled with smoke and falling debris, the air thick with dust and panic. There is no time to think, no time to gather what little you have left. You run—barefoot, desperate, carrying your baby in your arms—praying that you will make it out alive.

Images: Hossam sent us images of what his family's tent looks like today after violent airstrikes in Gaza last night (03/17/2025).

Video: to further prove the validity of Hossam's story, we have included an Al Jazeera news report that Hossam sent to us, in which he briefly appears (at the 0:48 mark)

@bashar-qazaz

@hane-qazaz

@hanon-qazaz

Story written by @rumiandroses

For Hossam Al-Qazzaz and his family, this nightmare became reality LAST NIGHT (03/17/2025) when an airstrike obliterated their tent—their last refuge after losing their home, a casualty of the war in Gaza. With no shelter, no safety, and nowhere left to run, they are once again plunged into unimaginable uncertainty as the ceasefire in Gaza collapses and war reignites around them.

Hossam, a dedicated father of four, has already lost his home, his job, and his peace of mind due to the relentless bombardments in Gaza in the 15 months preceding the now,-collapsed ceasefire. Now, with nothing but debris around them, he, his wife Hanan, and their four children—Bashar (9), Hani (8), Diana (4), and 5-month-old Habiba—are now struggling to survive with no roof over their heads.

The suffering extends beyond Hossam, his wife, and his children. Hossam is also the sole caretaker of his elderly parents, aged 75 and 72, both in fragile health. His father is suffering from severe burns and urgently needs medical care, while his mother battles high blood pressure and requires constant attention. But with no home, no stable source of income, and skyrocketing prices for essentials like rice and cooking gas—driven by the border closures and the ban on goods entering Gaza—Hossam is trapped in an incredibly difficult and stressful situation.

Despite these unbearable challenges, Hossam is not asking for much—only the money needed to survive, and to be able to evacuate to safety when the border crossing opens again.

"All we want is to live in dignity," Hossam pleads.

This is where you can make a difference. Every small donation—no matter how modest—can help provide food, clothing, and medical care for Hossam, Hanan, their children, and elderly parents. It can help ensure that Habiba gets the milk and diapers she desperately needs and that his family is not left out in the open with nowhere to turn.

Please, if you can, donate or share Hossam’s story today. Your support can be the difference between survival and despair.

Please consider donating to the Al-Qazzaz family’s original fundraiser to help them buy food and essentials and rebuild their tent:

Our founder, Bethany-Grace ( @rumiandroses ) is also sponsoring a fundraising campaign to help Hossam, Hanan and their entire family evacuate to safety. If everyone donates a little, we might be able to get them to safety the moment the border crossing opens again:

Together, we can ensure that Hossam's family does not just survive—but begins to rebuild a life of safety, stability, and hope.

Hossam’s campaign has been vetted by @gazavetters, and (#287) on their list of verified campaigns.

[elysiiqn]

Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals for Help to Survive

A Plea for Help from Gaza: A Family Seeking Safety

I am Shaima from Gaza, married to Ibrahim @ibrahem-88 Al-Sir.My family consists of two people. For 8 years, we had a dream of having a child to make our life more beautiful.

We are now living in the midst of a hellish war between death, destruction and hunger.

This is after losing everything we had, the fetus, our home, and our only source of income

I was waiting for more than 8 years to have a transplant to have my first child, but because of the war, fear, sounds of explosions and displacement from one place to another, I lost my child.

I am now living the worst days of my life because of all this. My husband and I want your help to escape from all that we are suffering and get out of Gaza to safety.

Please donate and re-notation and share❤

Note

My account vetted by:

@gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #62 )

@nabulsi @aces-and-angels @ibtisam @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vakarians-babe @7amaspayrollmanager @fairuzfakhira @fallahsart @sayruq @humanvoreture @kaapstadgirly @sar-soor @dimonds456-art @plomegranate @commissions4aid-international @nabulsi @stil-macher @soon-palestine @communitythings @palestinegenocide @vakarians-babe @ghost-and-a-half

[elysiiqn]

What do you do when you feel desperate to escape reality?

I go through periods of feeling completely helpless and trapped in this reality, and that I have to shift right away, then I start to feel more stable and like I have time to shift.

The time has come where I feel trapped and helpless again lmao. My mental health issues are getting worse, and it’s one of those things where waking up the next day feels terrifying, and I just want to master shifting right away so I don’t have to wake up here. I feel safe thinking of my dr and my dr self, but living in my cr feels extremely mentally and almost spiritually debilitating at times. My mental health issues revolve around my sense of self, and I often feel like really bad person. I’ve scripted all of that away for my dr, and I feel comforted by the thought that this isn’t my only reality, and there are versions of myself that I like more and want to be. But the comfort only goes so far and the pressure to shift right away becomes overwhelming.

There’s not much I can do for my mental health right now as I’m already getting professional help, but I’d love to know what I can do to feel a little less of an existential/spiritual crisis. I’ve turned to spirituality after not seeing much progress after years of therapy and treatments, and I really do think this is the thing for me, but I don’t know where to start.

I haven’t told anyone in my personal life about shifting, but I did ask my therapist for some help with meditating, since I have adhd and have really struggled with meditation. She told me it’s a form of escapism (lmao) and that I should refrain from using that in times of distress.

I’m not asking for psychological help, as I know nobody here is equipped to give that. But I do know a lot of us are shifting to get away from this world and a lot of us feel the urgency to shift. I know there are also many people who have felt the same, and found some peace through their shifting journey.

Anything advice you can offer, I’d be super grateful for!

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shifting, the void state and mental health issues

I have some chronic mental health issues that cause obsessive thoughts and an inability to relax. Due to this, I want to shift/get into the void state even more.

TW —

I’m unfortunately really struggling with my mental health at this moment and if it wasn’t for shifting, I don’t know that I’d be here, right now. I only have hope that I get to be another version of me, in another reality, far from this version. I want to shift now, or at least go into the void state and fix up my situation. I’ve been trying to learn about the LOA (assumption), but I haven’t been doing a great job since I’ve been looking way too much at the 3D. I feel like I need a change NOW, and I’ve struggled with the void state before due to adhd (I start to feel every itch, can’t stay focused and end up falling asleep no matter what I try). I’m really only relying on shifting and manifesting now. I have zero hope for my future without them, and I don’t know how much longer I can be patient on this journey without fully giving up.

TW OVER —

How many of you have successfully done these with mental health issues? I’m aware that I can do anything no matter what’s going on in my brain or body, but some issues and situations can make it hard to navigate how I should attempt getting into the void or shifting. I probably wouldn’t choose a method that requires a lot of focus since I can’t stop ruminating about what’s going on in my CR right now (I have ocd so it’s nearly impossible to stop myself from thinking about my situation). I’d like to try a method for the void state that doesn’t instruct me to focus on my body, since I’ve had a really hard time doing that with my adhd. So maybe a sleep method for the void? I haven’t found any resources for that yet.

I tend to do really well when my mind is completely focused on something, that’s when I can drown out my surroundings and not feel my physical body.

Any suggestions or reassurance? I’m getting pretty desperate and trying to hold on :/

[elysiiqn]

MBTI Questionnaire Answer Key

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

***

Keep in mind that all of these things are INDICATORS that nudge in a certain direction, not definite proof!

**NOTE - This key will not be useful if you don’t have experience typing or getting to know different types of people in real life!  It’s just a general shorthand to different ways people can answer.  Everyone is an individual and using one of the listed “keywords” does not guarantee that someone is that type or uses that function.  Think of it as ‘clusters’ or ‘trends’, not necessarily definitive evidence!**

Things to look for:

1. What makes you respect individuals, groups, or organizations? List whatever you can think of.

Respecting someone who thinks things through, intellectual depth, complex systems = Ti

Respecting efficiency, effectiveness, being forthright = Te

Respecting people/groups that stay true to themselves, are genuine and honest, referencing specific values (e.g. tolerance) = Fi

Respect integrity, being a good influence, making a difference in the world, being charitable = Fe

Respect accomplishment (vision), making dream come true = Ni

Respect creativity, ingenuity, inventiveness, forging new path = Ne

Respect accomplishment (material/social), overcoming obstacles = Se

Respect trustworthiness, accomplishment through hard work = Si

2. What kind of things turn you off about a person, a brand/company, or a particular environment? What gets under your skin (in a bad way)?

Turned off by incoherence, irrational behavior, stupidity = Ti

Turned off by inefficiency, bad logistical choices, being a mess, unable to get shit done, also stupidity = Te

Turned off by specific values (racism, sexism), being “fake”, impression management = Fi

Turned off by selfishness, greed = Fe

Turned off by physical behaviors (chewing with mouth open, bad clothes) = Se

Turned off by large crowds, lots of noise, lots of people = Si and/or Introvert

Turned off by feeling stifled/controlled = High Pe (Ne or Se)

Turned off by showoffs/loudmouths = leaning dominant Si or Fi

3. How good is your memory for detail? Specific conversations you’ve had in the past, little tasks that need to get done, what you were doing the first time you heard a song or tried a food, etc.

The better the memory, the more likely Sensor, particularly Si.  High Se often mentions ‘selective’ memory, or only remembering things they care about.  Very bad memory is likely NJ.

4. What do you spend the most time thinking about - the past, the present, the future? Practical topics, logistical issues, relationships with people, theoretical concepts, issues of morality/ethics? Do you find yourself fixating on one thing, coming back to it, and trying to figure it out, or are you more prone to meandering through multiple tangentially related topics? Do you often daydream/space out? When you do daydream or fantasize, what kind of things do you imagine and think about?

past = Si

present = Se, Ne

future = Ni, Ne

practical topics = T

logistical issues = Te

relationships = F

theoretical = Ni, Ti

morality = F

trying to figure one thing out = Pi (Si/Ni)

meandering = Pe (Se/Ne)

daydreaming = high N

fantasizing about material goods = Se (anywhere in stack)

fantasizing about trips and adventures = Ne, Se

fantasizing about past = Pi (Si, Ni)

fantasizing about imaginary conversations = high F

fantasizing about theoretical concepts = Ti, Ni

worrying about the future = low Ne (likely SJ)

depressed thoughts about future = likely Ni-dom

pleasant thoughts about the future, planning = high N (Ne imagines all the possibilities and doesn’t like plans, Ni imagines the ones they want the most)

5. Think about a topic or two you’re really interested in and like having conversations about. Do you think you would generally have more fun talking about that topic with an enthusiastic, curious listener who asks you lots of great questions, or do you think you would generally have more fun listening to an interesting, entertaining person talk at length about it and answer your questions enthusiastically?

preference for talking = E, especially EJ

preference for listening = I, especially IJ

like both = more data needed, but more likely xxxP

6. In the last question, what topic(s) were you think about?

theoretical topics = Ni, Ti

topics involving patterns = N

likes/dislikes = Si, Fi

morality, people = F

society, culture = Fe

practical matters = Te

past experiences = Si

what we’re doing now, what’s going on in our lives = Se

7. If someone is doing something that you strongly disagree with, how likely are you to confront them about it? If you do confront them, how do you usually tend to do it? How does your answer change depending on your relationship with the person, and whether their actions directly affect you?

Very likely to confront, especially when close to person/directly affected = ESxP, ENxJ

Will confront when necessary = ISxP, SJ, ENxP

Avoid confrontation = INxx

directly = high Se

gently = high Si, high Ni, high Fe

try to solve indirectly (convincing, find other solution) = Ne

answer changes more when personal connection with person = Fi

answer changes more when directly affected = ??? need more study maybe Fi/Ti?

8. How interested are you in trying new things - traveling, trying strange and exotic foods, going on roller coasters, jumping out of airplanes, things like that? Regardless of how interested you are, how willing would you be to do those things if someone asked you to? How often do you actually do things like that? Give examples.

Very interested/does often = SP, ENxP, ENxJ, possibly INxJ

Interested but doesn’t do = SJ, NP, possibly ISxP

Likes exploring but not physical things = SJ, NP, possibly INxJ

Not interested but willing = IxFJ 

Willing *only* if interested, cannot be convinced = xxTJ?

Not interested at all = IxxJ

9. How would other people describe your demeanor? It may help to ask people you know. How emotional do you seem to people? How rational? Do you tend to be quiet and reserved, or more loud and talkative? Do you seem to choose your words carefully, or talk stream of consciousness, or do you sometimes think so fast you stumble trying to get all the words out? Do you tend to finish your sentences, or skip to the next sentence in the middle of the one you’re saying, or skip to new topics entirely? Do you interrupt - if so, when and how often? How do you feel if someone interrupts you? How often do you feel like you have so much energy you can’t sit still and need to be up and moving? How hard is it for you to get out of bed in the morning, or get up after relaxing for a long time?

Seem more emotional = high Fe

Seem more rational = high T, possibly Fi

Quiet and reserved, choose words carefully = Introvert

Loud and talkative, stream of consciousness = Extrovert

Think too fast = high Ne

Always finish sentences = S

Skip to next sentence = high Ni

Skip to new subject = high Ne

Interrupt = more likely Extroverted

Patient when interrupted = IxxP, IxFJ, ExFP

Patient (with difficulty) when interrupted = Ixxx, ExFJ, ExxP

Impatient when interrupted = Exxx

Talks over/interrupts back = ExTx

Too much energy = ExxP  (this is a very strong correlation)

Not jittery, but wants to do stuff, feels guilty for not being productive = xxxJ

Not super lazy, but mostly inactive = INxJ

Very hard to get moving, likes being lazy = IxxP  (this is a very strong correlation)

10. We’ve all had conversations with someone who was ‘missing the point’. Give an example or two, real or imagined, of conversations that would make you feel that way - what is the “point”, and how is the other person missing it?

11.  How long does it usually take you to realize/decide that you are unhappy with a situation in your life (e.g. job, relationship)? Do you talks to others to figure out your feelings, or are you more likely to keep it to yourself until you’ve figured it out? At what stage would you discuss the issue with the affected parties (boss, S.O.)? Are you likely to change your mind after announcing your decision? How difficult are changes like this for you to adapt to? How often do you experience big changes like this? Do you feel like these changes are more the result of your own decisions and opinions, or are they more the inevitable result of external circumstances?

These questions are for research purposes only. :)

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me rewatching dead poets society instead of doing my assignments

i’m not sure if anyone would even care about this but i am really bored soo here we go

neil looks so down when he’s with his father stopdjejdkfjnr

poor todd got forced to stand up i would get pissed eujehd

the best preparatory school? lmfao ok.

KEATING YAY

THE PRESSURE THAT TODD HAS TO GO THROUGH I CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES HE DOES NOT WANT THIS WTF

poor kids being forced to go there

LMFAO SPAZ

i still don’t know what a stiff means is that even what he said?

OOPS LMFAO

attractive pieces of sht leaning on a door frame help

“keen.” HA

YESSIR USJSJSJ

why does meeks kind of sound like me when i meet someone new

“he flatters me.” LOLSJNDKSHSJJSKSJDC

“i thought you’d gOne.”

freaking hell stfu tom

i’ve always thought this who calls their father “sir” ???

THE LOOK CHARLIE AND KNOX SHARE HDNEJDJF

“BRAIN DAMAGE” HSMEJD

they all look so confused like same

BRO SPAZ LMFAO

their smiles are so cute awwjdnejsnjd

POOR PITTS SHJWJS

MEEKS SMILE WHEN HE SAID AN UNFORTUNATE NAME

DING

“turn cold and die.” damn that took a turn fast

caaaaaarpeeeee dieeeeeem @siezethedaypoets (sorry! sjjejs)

“that means you daLtoN” the way he says it lfmaosjjd

i thought he was gonna do history he pulled out his chem book dhjshdbd

take a breath knox damn

them just not at all understanding math is a mood

too bad :/

AWW THE WXCITEMENT IN PITTS AND MEEKS EYES

“very funny, dalton.” hehehhehehejjdjdjfjrkdn ccmv mf

AWW MEEKS

CHARLIE WTF YOU DRAWING

RIP SHRED TEAR

RIP RIP RIP

oh shit

ahh one of my fav scenes, charlie basically eating that ball of paper

i hate looking at this it’s so awkward like hello mr. mccallister

what will your verse be?

THE MASHED POTATOS

“no, keating.” LMFAO YES GO KEATING

is that stick? on the end of the table?

“don’t come please.”

“no shIt, sherlock.” HA I LOVE THIS GUY

“pittsie, cmon!” “his grades are hurting, charlie.” i literally just love this conversation

“i’ll try anything once.” “except sex!” “ha ha ha.” HSJWJJSND ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAV CONVOS

“WOMEN SWOON HA HA HA” THE EVIL LAUGH WTF SHEJJS

“CHARLIE @tellmewhytheyswoon” SORRY I HAD TO LMFAO

LMFAO SHUT UP WILL YOU

this is so chaotic and messy damn

the treatshsjdj

they’re loud asf

i wonder who’s who while they were running with the hoods

OH CRAP THE SUN IS OUT WHAT that isn’t in the movie sorry

I LOVE MEEKS AND CHARLIE’S RELATIONSHIP SM

i could never take note of the minutes when something happens how will he do that

YESSIR PART TWO

HOW DID PITTS TAKE THE OTHER HALF SO FAST

EVEN TODD KNOWS CAMERONS STORY LMFAO

LMFOA KNOX IS STARING AT THE PICTURE

MEEKS HOOO THEN I SAW THE CONGO CREEPING THROUGH THE BLACK

THE LITTLE BOING NOISE LMFAO WHAT IS THAT

“are you a man or an amoeba?” i’m sorry lol what the hell do you mean sjdjiend

TO WOO WOMEN

“why do i stand up here? anybody?” “@tofeeltaller” HA I LOVE DOING THIS IM SORRY

i would cry if i found out that i had to make a poem AND read it aloud in front of everyone

poor todd thougsjwhidfj

i wanna marry todd. lmfao where did that come from

RADIO FREE AMERICA

AWW THEM DANCING STFU THIS IS SO CUTE

i can’t hear the audio hellloooooojdjwksbdken

AWW we got some anderperry content here

lol i wanna wear their sweaters

:/// TODD

“no.” “no? what do you mean no?” “no.” *smirks* HAJDJDJWKNS

DONT BE IMMATURE

IDK WHERE TF THE INSTRUMENTS CAME FROM BUT I LOVE IT

the birds are so pretty

nice outfit knox

STOP STARING DUDE YOU’RE MAKING IT TOO OBVIOUS CMON

“sounds to me like you’re daunted.” JSJS

TO INDEED BE A GOD

MEEKS AND PITTS WOTH THEIR HEADPHONES ON AWW

“PUCK YOU” LMFAOAJSJJDJ

i bet todd’s poem is actually great

“the cat sat on the mat.” DNDIDHJDJDJDHS i love how keating still said it wasn’t all bad though

BRO DAMN DONT CALL TODD AND I OUT LIKE THAT

lmfao todd’s just hating every second of this

“sweaty toothed madman” i can see that too whatsbjdjdjsn

THIS IS BETTER THAN ANY POEM I EVER TRIED TO WRITE GREAT JOB TODD

NEIL IS AMAZED

when keating pushed their foreheads together wtf aww father son love typa thing that’s so cutejjedujsidj

LMFOA NO KNOX TRIPPED

YAYY GOAL

wtf this seems so fun

“your parents collect pipes? oh that’s really interesting.” LFMAOOAJSJD I LOVE PITTS

poetrusic by charlie dalton

laughing crying mumbling tumbling

DAMN HES GOOD

the little kind of aggressive hair ruffle awwjendn

OOO VOCABULARY

LMFAO THE LITTLE CHUCKLE KNOX DOES

AWW THEYRE ALL SO HAPPY FOR KNOX

THE SCARFSJJD

“exercising my right not to walk.” smartass

it’s todd’s birthday and no one greeted him excpet neil stfukqbxqbcdbkrw

the first unmanned flying desk set yes yes

THEY ALL JUST STOOD UP LMFAO

merlin knox you are DRUNK

PLEASE DONT ISTG KNOX

THATS NOT WHAT HE MEANT BY CARPE DIEM

well you’re in deep trouble now

“it’s God. he says we should have girls at welton.” as much as i love this scene what the hell were you thinking my man

i don’t get how this was legal back then. wtf is it gonna do? you’re just hurting the kids bro

the pain in his eyes stop

“@dangitneil the name’s nuwanda.” pain brokqdb jdjf

CRAP CRAP CRAP MR PERRY GET OUT

the pic of keating’s wife/gf aww

neil you’re gonna make me cry stop

that is so odd why are their lockers like connected from the left side isn’t it usually from the right?

JSKSIJDEIUWKDRUEJSJX CHRIS IS SO DONE NODKDMD

that piece of bread

THIS GUY JUST SHOVED A KID CMON KNOX

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING?”

AWW WHEN TODD MESSED UO CAMERONS HAIR

CHARLIE LMFAO I MENA NUWANDA

KNOX IS DONE W THEM TOO

chris is gorgeous omg

the snow in her hair stop marry me

“you are SO infuriating”

i hate how i’m just completely forgetting what’s gonna happen in like 10 minutes

PUCK

LMFAOTHEM HOLDING DOWN CHARLIE

“he’s really good.” AW YES HE IS FUCSHWMDMD

wait the holding hands is kinda cute thoughsjdnd

bro mr perry is making me want to kill someone maybe him

NEIL’S SMILE IMMEDIATELY WENT AWAY IHATE YOU TOM

damnit you idiot i hate you sm let your son live you bastard

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sobs sobs sobs

merlin neil

IM JUST NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT THIS YK

HA HA HA NOT CRYING

SIGHS AGAIN

DEAR LORD

NO TODD IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY TOO STOP

THEY ALL SEEM LIKE THEYRE IN SHOCK NO

damn everything

SIGH WHY DIDNT I STOP WATCHING? IDFK

“it’s beautiful.” NOFNEJWGHSGEMWGE NEED WH

KEATING NO

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

charlie just sitting down not singing i hate this

i probably should’ve just stopped watching yk but i didn’t but that’s okay i think

i got so pissed the first time they said that they were gonna ask questions like??? did mr perry did no at all realize that it was his fault?

sigh cameron you aren’t always that bad but in this scene i loathe you

NO RICHARD

DAMNIT YOU MADE TODD SNAP

AND CHARLIE SNAPPED TOO YOU JUST MESSED UP TOO MUCH MAN

i hate how it went from a happy dark academia movie to this cmon

todd’s dad is so mean shut up he was just asking a question

it feels so sad in the room i hate it

the empty chairs pls no

keating’s little chuckle man i miss their smiles

BRO SROP THEY LOOK SO SAD TODD ISTG

*GASP OF HAPPINESS IN THE MIDDLE OF CRYING* HUHUHUH

TODD MEEKS STICK SPAZ PITTS KNOX GEORGE? HA I LOVE YALL

and we’re done. damn okay

thanks for reading ig fjdbshsbjwhdjsj

anyways i’m tired goodnight or morning or wtvr thanks! and sorry <3

[elysiiqn]

thank god for the color pink . green also

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I WAS JUST THINKING THIS TODAY???

i have an opinion and is that neil perry would have nailed playing jonathan larson in tick tick boom

[elysiiqn]

oh mygod yes

Hey (with the intention of watching Dead Poets Society with you)

[elysiiqn]

May you live an existence that doesn’t require constant resilience.

[elysiiqn]

"The sky is overcast, and I'm sorry."

Dead Poets Society // Peter Weir @aedan-mills @inahallucination @zeegy so like sorry not sorry but here's my come back AHSDJAHDSJ

[elysiiqn]

todd anderson cries to mitski.

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new headcanon that every time charlie as much as coughs he gets convinced he’s about to die

[elysiiqn]

Okay okay just hear me out I swear on my life that this isn't going to be a sad one So random hc (or mini fic at this point ig) that just popped into my head about how Neil and Todd got together. So one day the boys were playing a game of soccer and as this game works, someone kicked the ball towards Neil. Problem is, he kicked it just a tad too hard and Neil went down. The game stops immediately and the guys all rush over to make sure Neil is okay and while he doesn't appear to have any physical injuries they still gotta make sure he doesn't have a concussion. So Todd just cradles Neil's face in his hands, cuz I mean he's gotta check his eyes somehow, and then says "Hey, hey you with me?" and Neil nods so Todd keeps going and says "I gotta check you for a concussion okay? Do you know what my name is?" and Neil gets this stupidly adorable confused look on his face and goes "No, I don't, but I do know you're really pretty" before promptly passing out. Todd is a blushing mess at this point but manages to get enough sense to tell Charlie to help him take Neil to the dorm and to get the nurse. (The nurse says to just let him rest. An ice pack and some sleep and once he wakes up he should be right as rain.) It's about 10 at night when Todd hears a groan coming from Neil's side of the room. Todd of course rushes over to make sure he's alright and Neil just lets out another groan and goes "What the hell happened? One second I'm on the soccer field and now I'm back in the dorms?" Todd laughs a little at his confusion but then he tells him about how he passed out and likely has a minor concussion. Neil just nods and says "Oh. Alright. Anything else?" This makes Todd hesitate. On one hand, He could bring up the fact that Neil had called him pretty because he really wanted to know if it meant anything. On the other, that would probably make things really awkward and he had a concussion he probably had no idea what he was saying. So he bit his tongue and shook his head Yeah, well, Neil definitely knew Todd was hiding something. He could see how tense he got and he was doing that adorable thing he does when he gets nervous where he bites his lip and fiddles with the edge of his shirt and dammit Neil now is not the time- "Yeah. Okay. I don't buy that. Come on, what is it?" And Todd starts shaking his head again but Neil gives him a look so he just lets out a small sigh and tells him "It's nothing. Really. Just forget about it okay?" Neil does not agree to forget about it. "No stop it. There's obviously something else going on. Whatever it is you can tell me okay?" And Neil is genuinely worried now and Todd doesn't want to make him worry so he just in the quietest voice to the point where Neil almost misses it says "You called me pretty." It takes a couple seconds for the words to click in Neil's brain but one they do he just, shuts down. Todd can see the emotion drain from Neil's face as he goes blank and starts panicking slightly that 'Oh no I knew I shouldn't have brought it up not he's going to think I'm weird and not want to be around me anymore-' while at the same time Neil is panicking too because yes of course Todd is pretty. He's downright gorgeous. But it's one thing to just think about it and it's an entirely different thing to just come out and say it and 'Oh god what if he hates me now I can't believe I said that now he's going to stop being friends with me-' So Neil looks back at Todd and tells him "I'm so sorry. That was probably really weird and uncomfortable for you and I would never want to make you feel like that but I completely understand if I did and you don't want me around anymore" and Todd can clearly see how much Neil is panicking now so he comes over and sits on the end of the bed and Neil just shuts up and he and Todd just hold each other's gaze for a short moment before Todd looks away and tells him. "It's okay. More than okay actually. I uh, I really liked it."

Todd is a blushing mess now. Even in the dim light of the room Neil can see how red he's gotten and the only coherent thought he can make out as he studies Todd's cheeks and the way the lamp light forms a halo around his form is "He's absolutely stunning." but he then also realizes that he hasn't said anything back yet and just lets out a soft. "Oh, okay. That's, that's great. Yeah." Then Todd looks back at him and suddenly they're both giggling, which eventually leads to the two of them downright laughing. Todd is laughing so hard that he can't even sit upright anymore and just falls onto the bed right next to Neil. He lets out one more breatless laugh before turning to look up at the ceiling and says "Man, we're really bad at this whole heart to heart thing huh?" Neil lets out another laugh in response and in the most sarcastic tone he could muster says "Oh? Is that what we were doing?" before turning to actually face Todd. He sucks in a breath, realizing that the two of them are now lying mere inches apart, a proximity that isn't common for them. Todd, hearing this, turns to ask Neil if he's alright before snapping his mouth shut. The two are now face to face, noses almost brushing, and they can't look away from each other. They both lay there, unmoving, until Neil lets out a low "Hey." recieving a smile from Todd in response. "Hi" Neil's eyes briefly stray from Todd's to glace down at his lips before flicking back up. Maybe it was just the concussion keeping him from thinking entirely clearly, but Neil wanted to kiss Todd so badly, so much more than any passing thought he had had in the past, and he doubted he would be able to resist this time. "Todd?" He said, trying to gather some semblance of confidence. Todd just gives him a small look of confusion and it takes everything in Neil to not just close that gap right that very instant, but he manages not to, looking back into Todd's eyes and beginning to say "I'm about to do something which might be very stupid but I don't think I can wait a second longer and I'm really sorry if this-" He isn't able to finish speaking before Todd's hands are on his face and the gap between them is non-existent and oh my goodness Todd is kissing him. Todd is actually kissing him. The kiss is a little messy but it's also gentle and sweet and everything Neil imagined it would be and more because he never could have prepared himself for just how amazing it really was oh my god- Todd pulls back and gives Neil just the smallest smile before asking "Was that okay?" and Neil is only able to respond with a "God yes. Yes that was okay. More than okay it was- oh please just do it again." Todd laughs and leans in to give him another kiss and after pulling back, says "I'm so glad you actually let me do that." Neil just laughs before pulling him back in saying "I will let you do that again" a kiss "and again" another kiss "and again" another kiss "for as long as you want to" one more kiss. The both pull back, grinning like idiots before Todd tucks his head into Neil's shoulder and wrapping the rest of his body around him. "You should get some actual sleep" He tells Neil "You're going to have to go to class tomorrow y'know." Neil just smiles again. "Yeah you're probably right. Goodnight Todd." He says, punctuated with a kiss on his forehead. Todd smiles into Neil's shoulder. "Goodnight Neil." They stay like that the rest of the night, and when Charlie comes in to drag them out of bed in the morning and sees the soft smiles on their faces and the way the two are tangled, well, it wouldn't be fair to not show the others now would it? (The glares that Neil gives them all first thing in the morning are well worth the teasing material they now have access to.).

tagging y'all cuz I think you'll actually like it: @inahallucination @aedan-mills @camscableknit @hedera-helixx @emilythefern @theluminoussunflower @marsbernn @anderperryshit @berrythenewsie @a-cowboy-needs-a-hat @finding-an-angle @marvels-obscure-tophat

[elysiiqn]

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

[elysiiqn]

emotional support-friend group

I just know that I'd be so comfortable around them, they'd be so fun to hang out with <3