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we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

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the weirdly vengeful and petty tones aborted babies take in pro-life propaganda images are so funny like this passive aggressive "was it worth it mommy?" and "it's a shame you can't join me in heaven mommy 😔" like do you ever wonder if you were aborted for a reason you little bitch ass baby

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all the anon hate on tumblr is sent by these 5 men

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(tune: final bass drop in the Beetlejuice theme) what the fuck's the point, what's the point, what's the fucking point

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It happened again

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divorce themed restaurant menu

dessert: CUSTARDy Battle

yeah that's all i've got so far sorry

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earlier my friend said to me “somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, there’s an all female rock band called ‘king’” and I’m STILL recovering from that mental image and how gay it made me feel

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do you sleep with your bedroom door open?

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BREAKING NEWS: softest material in the world has been discovered, scientists calling it "kitty tummy fur"

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(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

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conversations with my sisters cat

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