emilyshotchrocket
emilyshotchrocket
Julian🔫👹
43 posts
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emilyshotchrocket · 3 months ago
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Morgan: Prentiss kissed you and you said “Thank you”?
Hotch: Yes..
Rossi: Well, that was very polite.
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emilyshotchrocket · 3 months ago
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Emily: Can I ask you stupid questions?
Hotch: There is no such thing.
Emily: how does ink come out of pens?
Hotch: Alright, there is such a thing.
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emilyshotchrocket · 3 months ago
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JJ: Those trousers are really working for you.
Emily: yeah?
JJ: They’re working for me too.
Emily: you’re flirting with me?
JJ: something like that.
Emily: finally! Do it some more.
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emilyshotchrocket · 3 months ago
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Rossi, after a case with some spectacularly annoying agents that he considers family: Do not come over to my mansion.
Rossi: If my mansion is on fire, you may knock once.
Rossi: if I do not answer, assume I set the fire and want to burn to death.
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emilyshotchrocket · 3 months ago
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Stranger: Is that man annoying you? Lorraine, glances at Ed: Yes, but he’s my husband. I signed up for this.
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emilyshotchrocket · 4 months ago
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Ed: Thanks for agreeing to see us. Father: I didn’t. You just walked into the room and started talking. Ed: I don’t have time for a history lesson.
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emilyshotchrocket · 4 months ago
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rossi: that beast cannot come within fifteen feet of my cars interior.
emily, covering sergio’s ears: dave! show some respect!
rossi: i was talking to you.
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emilyshotchrocket · 5 months ago
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Judy: I sleep with a night light on.
Drew: I sleep with a cross under my pillow.
Ed: You two are pathetic.
Alice: Oh, yeah? What do you sleep with?
Ed: Lorraine.
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emilyshotchrocket · 5 months ago
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Ed, laughing: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swing set?
Lorraine: No, I said "Ed, don't lick that swing set" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swing set.
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emilyshotchrocket · 5 months ago
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Judy: Mom wants to speak to you in her study.
Ed: Mom doesn’t have a study.
Judy: You know that room you closed off because there was a spider in it?
Ed: SHE OPENED HELL’S GATE!?!
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emilyshotchrocket · 6 months ago
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Ed: Did you buy eggs like I asked?
Lorraine: Even better!
Ed: …What did you two do?
Judy: *holds up a chicken*
Lorraine: His name is Winston.
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emilyshotchrocket · 6 months ago
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Ed: What do you want for your birthday?
Lorraine: For you to stop fighting ghosts you can't see.
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emilyshotchrocket · 6 months ago
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morgan: girl are you good?
emily: yeah, why?
also emily:
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emilyshotchrocket · 6 months ago
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cm x spongebob pt2 bc why not?
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emilyshotchrocket · 7 months ago
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Hotch: What are you doing in the kitchen at three Am?
Emily: I was gonna light this chicken on fire and see if it turns into one of those Harry Potter Phoenix things.
Hotch:
Hotch: listen, I'm gonna give you the number of my therapist, tell her I sent you.
Emily: your therapist quit last week.
Hotch:
Hotch: listen, I'm gonna find us both a new therapist.
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emilyshotchrocket · 7 months ago
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Emily: Hypothetical question, how do you stop a kitchen fire?
Hotch: THERES A FIRE IN OUR KITCHEN??
Emily: I said hypothetical question.
Hotch: you scared the shit out of me.
Emily: the fires actually in the bedroom.
Hotch: EMILY. WHAT THE FUCK.
JJ: why would you ask how to stop a kitchen fire if it was in the bedroom..?
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emilyshotchrocket · 7 months ago
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Emily: I am a god.
Hotch: She yelled "Shut up" at the thunderstorm and it happened to dissipate. It was purely coincidental. You have no power
Emily: stfu. I am a god.
Morgan: All hail the new Thor!
Hotch: Don't fucking encourage this??
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